Chapter 207 – Promise

Reporter Yire recalled the time he went to catch Miles the other day.

The precious stepping stone of ‘Secret Wish’.
Or, after hearing the news that there was an organization planning to kidnap a girl who might not be a stepping stone, but a girl who might be able to fully realize his longing, he went to the person who carried out the mission.

And, I was a little surprised.
Lena had finished her errands and returned home unharmed.
She asked her if her knight, whom she had met before, stroked her hair once and chatted with her a little before leaving.

At that time, the reporter was a regular knight who was drinking at a bar. She had visited Miles and said.

“What a terrible thing to Miss Lena…”
“…!”
“I was ordered to…But I didn’t.”

Okay. He didn’t do anything.
Still, Mile’s eyes twitched.

“…”
“If the original plan was to go ahead, confine Lena-san. Wasn’t it the plan to make her lose her virginity by having you or your collaborators contact you?”

The reporter, deep down, wondered why Miles acted the way he did.
She investigated various circumstances of the miles in front of her eyes, and it was all the more because she knew that he was in a crowded situation.

“Why did you do that?”
“…Ah, aren’t you a kid?”

Miles said that she felt very guilty thinking that she would do such a terrible thing to a child.

Strictly speaking, Miles was not guilty.
Neither the law nor the forces that were about to be victimized by her did not take Miles seriously.

Although he colluded with the Golden Sun Clan and acted according to their words, even for a short time, unlike the other scum, he kept his conscience and did not touch Lena, and other than that, he did not commit any actual crimes.

Also. Even though he was in danger of being retaliated against by the Golden Sun Clan, he gave up his mission and did not run away, drinking alcohol at a bar and showing a desperate look.

In the end, it was concluded that conscience had triumphed over desire, and the people in power, including the teenage families that the Geumtaeyang Clan had attacked without knowing the subject, decided to leave him alone without asking him for guilt after considering various factors.

However, the reporter was curious about the inside.
He said he quit because he was a kid?
Looking at Lena objectively, she has the appearance of a child, but she is beautiful enough to stimulate the sexual desire of an adult man.

Even if he didn’t have lust, he must have had a desire that he could succeed if he completed his mission. Also, a man with the status of an ordinary knight close to nobility was in a miserable situation sleeping on the street without a penny in his pocket.

There was an opportunity to overcome that misery at once, but what was the reason for not doing anything and just leaving?

Reporter Yeo was curious, but he refrained from finding out for himself.
It was because he thought it was up to Dre to find out.

To be honest, I didn’t want to play Chuck with him as Dre, who was relentlessly roaming around the world killing enemies, touched her mile that she thought was his share.

‘I thought he was a human hiding something, but I never dreamed he would harbor such darkness in his heart…’

He is someone who has nothing good to do with an enemy.

‘That’s second. I’m curious about that man’s choice.’

Indeed.
Will he stop the slaughter here? Or will he go even further?
Will the black flame of the clear eyes burn more? Will you turn it off
He was very curious about it.

***

“…Lena.”
“Yes, teacher.”

It felt good to have a weak grip on my neck, trying harder to stop the sobs.
I wanted to put my hand up and stroke her hair and make her stop crying.
But then I realized.
The blood of filthy things all over my body.
Can I touch this innocent child in this state?
No, I’m not the dirtiest bastard in the first place.
I was obsessed with the curse left by my father.
So, it was frustrating.
I needed an excuse to go wild because I wanted to live the world the way I wanted.
Okay. An excuse to run amok.

What did I think when I heard the news of Lena?

When he found out that fangs had been extended to a delicate child who, unlike other teenage families and acquaintances who had powers of their own, had no power. I was angry at first.
And when he tortured the Golden Suns to find out what specifically happened to this child, what was it like when Miles went to catch Lena and heard what had happened?

Perhaps, she was excited thinking about how to get revenge.
Okay. Lena was behind the scenes.
I was thinking only of myself.
He is a disgusting fellow.
Not caring what actually happened to Lena, the child she thought she would cherish, she just used it as fuel for her wrath.
She was glad inside that she could run wild with this.

Ah. What a coward and piece of trash he is.
At the same time, when I saw Lena in front of my eyes, I was relieved and happy, and I was holding back her tears because her eyes were tearing up.
Aren’t they at least inferior to the Golden Suns who purely followed their desires?
I was disgusted with a bastard like me who pretended to be justice for her own desires and went on a rampage by claiming to return malice to malice.
Even more repulsive is the fact that even if I could probably go back and start over, I would definitely do it.

“Lena.”
“…”
“Listen to the face.”

Lena raised her head as instructed.
A pretty face stained with tears.
I wondered if it was someone else’s mischief in disguise, but Lena was right.

“…Lena.”
“Yes, teacher…”
“Out, stay out.”

Lena hesitated. It’s her attitude, as if she doesn’t want to fall.
I must have been anxious
How anxious this little child must have been, since the only guardian who would keep him at Prunar Academy had disappeared.

“It won’t take long.”

At that, she hesitantly removed her arm, and Lena went outside with her downcast face.
The sound of the door opening and closing was especially loud.

I saw the sword lying on the floor.
I didn’t know if I should take it as it is or put it in the scabbard.
…No. Was the scabbard lost?

Result of worrying. I slammed my sword into the floor.
I felt Miles flinch, and I stared at him and then closed the distance to him.

I didn’t really want to attack.
Like I said earlier, anger is almost, no. Because it completely faded.
My feelings right now… An indescribable sense of shame.
More than Miles, I was annoyed with myself.

How to tell the story
I’ve been acting various stupid things in my mind until now, but it’s true that I was bad at it, so I’m bad at communication.
What should I say to someone who stopped doing bad things to my acquaintances?
Suddenly, an old memory came to mind.

When there was an accident at school. The memory of her father being called into the principal’s office.
Then, what did Dad do?

She pondered and sat down on the chair next to him.
Seeing him trembling, I asked questions first.

“I heard that you did something bad to Miss Lena.”
“…”

If you don’t know what to say, just be honest and say whatever comes to your mind.

“I have nothing to do with anything other than a few strong memories.”
“Yes yes?”

Miles looks at me as if he’s saying something.
It was more like repeating it to myself rather than letting him hear it, so no matter how he reacted, I continued talking.

“I didn’t know until now. Now that I’ve met Lena, I’ve realized it.”
“…”
“The memory of her being kind to me when I was sick and treating her was very strong.”

So, she was relieved when she found out Lena was alive.
I don’t think anything was done. I was more relieved, and at the same time scared.
I’m afraid I’ll be disappointed that Lena is alive, saying that I can’t go on a rampage after a while.

But what After she met the child, I was just happy.
There was no such thing as regret that I couldn’t run wild anymore…

“I wanted to kill you.”
“…!”

Miles trembles at the sudden bloody words.

“But, you don’t have to…”

No, this is not it.
What I want to say is not a trivial consolation to reassure Miles.

“…Isn’t that necessary, isn’t it?”

Interrogative type.
I wanted to check.
Should I kill him or not?

Live a good life

According to those words, if Miles gave up his magic spell on Lena according to his conscience, then I would not kill him.
But for some other reason. The Golden Sun Clan or any other faction. If I quit after receiving an order from the ‘main store’ and waited for the right time, would I… Kill him?
I don’t know.
I was curious.
I gnashed my teeth when I saw her order to do something with Lena, and I researched the target of the order, Miles.
I thought I could torture him more effectively if I knew him better.

Result. Miles was pushed to the limit.
It seems that he contacted me and tried to become a squire of Fryunar Academy, but when he came for an interview in Mirf Village in the past, he was kicked out saying he was not a noble.
After that, it seems that he went through all sorts of ups and downs while chasing me all the way to Sers.

And in Sersu, who finally arrived, he couldn’t even go up to the floating island because he didn’t have the qualifications…
Although he had the status of a knight who confidently took the test and earned meritorious deeds, his skills were absurdly insufficient to work on a floating island.
In addition, it seems that he suffered a setback in his employment due to an unfortunate incident on his way to the capital.
Can’t even make money Miles must have been cold and hungry.
He wondered if he could just go back to his hometown, but hey. I know.
Hope is, how terrible it is.

Was the possibility of becoming my seed someday and reviving a knight hanging on? Or was there another goal?
The seed he wanted to become was already determined to be Lena.
The seed next to me was a small girl, and I don’t know how the fact that the seed position he wanted to throw away has already disappeared has affected his mind.
He knows
And he didn’t touch the girl squire he probably hated.
I looked at him as if asking for an answer.
Miles said, trembling at my gaze.

“Lord, I don’t want to die.”
“…No. Don’t say that. Why shouldn’t I kill you…”

Miles jumped up.
She didn’t even want to wipe her teary eyes, she cried out in a fit of emotion.

“Why didn’t you touch that child?! She just did it because she didn’t want to die!”
“…”
“I, I… I knew. I was more of a throwaway to them, and I knew you’d beat them in the end. I just… Didn’t want to risk being killed by you later.”

Why do you say this
I know what will happen to me tell the truth

“At first, I was going to do something mean to that kid. I really meant to do that… But when I put it in front of my eyes and tried to reach out, I suddenly became scared. Is it okay if I do this? Isn’t it retaliation? And then I became pathetic. I, a knight, What are you doing to the child? So I pretend to be a good adult while stroking my hair with my outstretched hand. I feel grateful to that child who remembers things like me…”

Miles shivered and tore his hair.

“나, 난 원래 이런 비겁한 개새끼가 아니었어. 다 당신 탓이야. 당신이, 꿈을 보여주고 그냥 가 버렸잖아. 더럽게 무책임해서… 당신을 쫓다가 전부 잃어버렸는데 그런 꼬맹인 운이 좋았을 뿐인데 seize happiness…”

Dream.
I don’t know how I seemed to him after destroying the Sherton family, but he had a dream when he saw me.

“…”
“I know! I know I’m just an idiot! If it goes well, I’d like to sit in a bigger seat and be condescending, and I just wanted to live like that!”

It was a truly human desire.
A healthy desire different from the desire I had suppressed.

“Still, I shouldn’t have done that. These few days were scary. Painful. Having nightmares of you dying… Damn it. Bad things aren’t for me.”

Dump. Miles knelt down on her knees.

“I know. If you talk like this, you’ll get more contempt and look like an idiot. But… I can’t stand it anymore. It’s the limit.”

Whoops. Miles sobbed, and she gritted her teeth.

“But, please kill me as painlessly as possible. I beg you…”

Even as he said that, he was trembling as if he didn’t want to die.
I was troubled.
Should I kill this man?
Or not…

…Or not?

Did I have other options?
With malice that you did it out of fear, not conscience, and you have no other option than murder?

[Try to forgive once. Try at least.]

Rachel’s voice came to life in my head.
Forgiveness.
I haven’t forgiven anyone until now.
Even though he knew it was a serious act, he tortured and killed all the golden suns with his own hands.
But come now, forgive me?

[You live a good life.]

Even if I want to live a good life, I’m not the kind of person to be.
I don’t know, Dad.
In this fucking world, why do I have to be nice?
You only see losses, and it’s frustrating. But why?

Why did you say that and look at me with those eyes…
Would you have said that?

“…Hurry, lee… Please do it. It’s scary.”
“…”

I saw a man weeping.
He sat down and waited for the death that might come soon.
Is this right?
Is it okay to kill him?
Deep in my heart, I don’t know what my heart is like.
It seemed like he wanted to kill him, or he just wanted to leave him like this.
Just like when I was a newcomer who received my radio a while ago.
Do you want to keep Miles alive like that son of a bitch who carelessly keeps his word and tries to be nice? I am?

At that time. Miles sobbed again and opened his mouth.
I’d rather have him say the worst.
Scorn, ignore, or kill… Either way, you’ll be able to decide.

“I wish I knew this…”
“…”

What are you trying to say? Had I known this was going to happen, would I have done it to my heart’s content? Or, did you think it wouldn’t even start in the first place?
It was neither.

“Be kind. I should have lived…”

…
I went blank for a moment.

“…Why?”

Unknowingly, I put my hand on his shoulder and asked for an answer.

“Why do I have to live a good life?”
“…”
“It’s just as you said. The world is absurd and shitty. But. Why do we come to the conclusion that we should live kindly?”

It’s just a really weak morality.
In this world of weak meat. I’m just pretending to be correct.
Isn’t morality just a rule set by someone?
But why did Miles think that way?
Soon, his mouth opened.

“…If I had been nice, my life wouldn’t have turned out this way.”
“…”
“Even if it’s a bit irritating daily life of getting hit by a boss and being hurt by a lower person… At least. I would have been able to be satisfied with being kind and upright.”

Self-satisfaction.
It was such a pathetic answer, and it was also an appropriate answer.
I still don’t know why my dad told me to live a good life.
I still don’t know what the person who died in front of me was thinking when he said that.

But. I agree with what Mile said.
If you live well I used to get annoyed.
When the Elyunars, including Clarir, ignored me and acted like fucks.
When Julis made an absurd betrayal for her own reasons.
When I saw Sor’s ignorant arrogance.
When the villagers hit the back of the head.
When you witnessed all kinds of villains.
I got annoyed I wanted to kill him too.
And I didn’t do that to live a good life.
It was frustrating to be patient.

But at the same time. I felt relieved.

It was frustrating. It brought comfort that I was a good person and that I could live among people.
I don’t know. Is that all there is to a good life?
If you become a ruling class like a person in power, is there any comfort in not living a good life?
But I didn’t want to live like the conceited bastards who were in power, but rather wanted to kill them all.
What suits me like that is the same reason as Mile.
The reason why you can make yourself a comforting object.

Self-satisfaction.
That’s why I live a good life.

I couldn’t explain my feelings.
However, I did know one thing.
I couldn’t kill Miles anymore.
It was because he was like me.

[Try forgiveness once.]

Rachel’s words revived in my head.

“…”

Forgiveness.

Come to think of it. It’s not that I haven’t forgiven you once, but I’ve done it three times.
Once, Ulysse.
What are you doing now The woman.
At that time, why did I forgive her?
Apparently, at first she burned her eyes, saying that he would destroy everything she had to do with her.

…Ah. Right.

Go gold
Seeing the man who seems to have stereotyped uprightness, I was blown away.

Another one is Shin Jin-pae.
I got a call from him not long ago, and I thought I’d track him down and find him… Shin Jin-pae mentioned a promise someday. A promise I had completely forgotten…
Seeing him actually trying to live a good life, I didn’t have the heart to hunt him down or kill him. Actually then. Rather than making an effort to forgive, it was a big point that I let it go for a while because it was annoying.

And the Golden Sun Clan’s… Three survivors.
Things like Dumb and Dumber that first came to me.

One of the three is clearly part of the Golden Sun Clan’s malice, and I tried to kill it.
The other two were just idiots who just joined the team, and the women they said were trained were just dating normally, so I decided to spare them.

However, the two stopped me from trying to kill my friend while crying and calling me big brother.
So, after inflicting great pain, I warned that if I bothered more, I would see a more terrible face.

Even though they hesitated, they clung to me.
It didn’t seem like they were particularly prepared for death, and it seemed like they would stop stopping me if they took a tougher stand. Somehow I couldn’t intimidate or cut them.

In the end, he said he would come back later and just left.
But, now that I think about it, that was the third forgiveness.

So what now?
To me, forgiving Miles was the same as forgiving the entire situation, not just this man.
The Golden Suns have already killed all of them and worked their souls, but there are still others left.
I spared not only the male victims, but also the female accomplices.
Okay. Those bitches remained.
Should I forgive those women who were accomplices?
Also, although he was related to the Golden Sun Clan to some extent, unconscious collaborators who did not know that he was collaborating… He tried to kill them too.
I know it’s crazy, but Otherwise, it seemed that this void would not be filled.
And above all… Should I forgive the ‘main point’?
Should I forgive them all?
To forgive the person who tried to hurt Lena. It meant nothing less than forgiving all those less guilty than this man.
Except for the head office, I forgive everyone.
At least that’s what it means to me.

[Just try.]
“…”

I opened my mouth driven by the impulse, not by my father’s words to live kindly, but by Rachel’s words.

“Mr. Miles.”
“Uhhh. Uhhhhh…”

Do you think death is near? Miles sobbing close to sobbing.
I put my hands on his shoulders and stammered in a hoarse, unwanted voice.

“…Your desires, envy…As a person. I think…It’s natural.”
“…”
“…It was dangerous, but whatever the reason, you didn’t lay a hand on Miss Lena in the end.”

Kill all the ones who don’t say they’re pissed off, and torture them as they please. This man is better than me, who showed off all of his temper, then cooled down just because he heard his son’s voice, and from then on, squeezed out all of his temper without a temper and acted out of spite.

Miles is a better man than I am, and then I have no right to punish him.
I made a sound in my mouth while rationalizing myself.

“You are still the right person.”
“I-I…”

[Try forgiveness once.]
[Just try.]

He squeezed his hands tightly around his shoulders and squeezed his voice.

“I forgive you.”

Finished.

In an instant, I felt that it was completely over.
Suddenly, regret came flooding in.
Haven’t you done less yet?
To all the dog crap involved in this. Didn’t I show you the retribution you deserved?
When you look up again. Those thoughts disappeared as if they had been washed.

Mile’s impressed expression.
At my words that were not worthwhile, at the expression that I was sincerely relieved and saved, I felt that my heart was saved.
Was it because of the good deed of forgiveness?
I don’t know if this was a good thing, but my heart was filled with relief.

Okay.
Self-satisfaction.
How sweet is this

“Uhhhhh.”

Miles took my hand with both of his hands, then dropped his head and burst into tears.
I waited silently for him to stop crying.

My heart was at peace.

Tring!

[Only the soul of Malachia…]

Like that. My wandering is over.

After that, I honestly don’t know.
I think I had a conversation with the principal or Mullin. It’s like it’s not.
After roughly answering yes and no, when I came to my senses, I was moving somewhere in the academy, and I ran into a group of people waiting for someone in the garden.
To think that people like that are waiting for you, that you’re such a happy little bastard… They rushed at me.
Only then could I see the face.

Gold. Refeld. L. Clarir. Ashita…Even Frostia.
Thump do. Unexpectedly, Clarir was the first to hug me.
Now I. It must smell.
But after that, Gold and Ashita won’t be able to beat me, so they hugged me. El hesitated and held the hem of my clothes only with her hand. It smells too
The reason Frostia hugged her last was probably because of the Advent rate… But I don’t know why. It was a bit reassuring.

Wash. Fell asleep
And I had a dream.

A dream when my father died.

When I woke up, I felt the worst.
There was someone at the bedside. His face is locked in the darkness and he can’t see it well.

Who? How much time has passed
Ever enemy?
It’s fucking unpleasant to look down without a word… Just thinking about it, I open my mouth.

“Are you awake?”
“…Fuck.”

Not an enemy, but an enemy.
Kitz.
As if the bastard was nursing me, he was sitting on a chair next to the bed and looking down at me.
Give back the pretty girl’s nursing event, you bastard.