Chapter 766 – The Unfulfilled Dream.

I had no choice but to agree with Alfred’s words. Another world. How badly do the gods try to hide their presence in Elyunar?

After the fight with the rope, they openly revealed themselves to the warriors who can be called the representatives of this world, but the world still does not know the existence of God.

Because the gods are making a fuss.
Even strong people like Sword Saints do everything they can to prevent the world from notifying the world of the existence of God.
Because the system, the will of the Ryunar dimension wants it.

However, that girl-like woman realized the existence of God on her own for a long time and has been investigating it.

“My mother was a great wizard.”

Alfred’s voice was cool and objective.

“He was a true intellectual and a person of character who could barely speak at my level until I was at my current level, and I couldn’t even compete with him with knowledge alone.”
“…”
“But. He was so steadfast in his desire to prove that God exists in this world… That he was humiliated by those worms.”

His voice was still dry.
But the inside will be boiling like fire.

I saw the worms Alfred said.
Maybe. The professors who appear to be Elso’s co-workers.

They made Elso work as if he were a subordinate and made disrespectful remarks.
Even so, Elso did not show a disliked face.

The reason why Alfred, who was not yet ten years old, did not look for a job when he had no friends or entertainment except his mother, was probably because he did not like the way he looked.

Also, she must have thought that her mother would be miserable in front of her son.
Even as a child, yes.

Better than me

“…”

The voice didn’t come out well.
What the hell are you thinking
Alfred and I are different.

What are you empathizing with?
What are you equating to?

“…Is the reason you were called a fanatic because of that thesis?”
“Yes. God’s existence. That’s because he insisted on the existence of another god.”
“…!”

That’s a valid argument.
There are over a thousand gods in this world.

In the world, it was said that only the gods representing each race were treated as divine gods, including Nanar, the main god.

Shintoism such as Aesangyo is obviously a god, but to the fanatic believers with the most doctrines in the world, they are considered to be in the position of an angel below the main god.

Parala Rock.

A close-up paper blows over like the wind.
Thanks to that, I was able to get a rough idea of ​​the contents.
Admiration emerges.
The results of a proper investigation, not abstract reasoning, are tightly written.

A man’s efforts to trace back the origins of magic that could not exist in this world, to compare all kinds of cases in this world and the characteristics of gods, and to compare the miracles of gods and human magic techniques from various perspectives.

It is an effort that everyone can admire.

However. It is difficult to achieve success through hard work alone.
To be successful, you have to keep an eye on the world.
I didn’t learn magic deeply, but there are things I learned while learning spirit magic.

That magic and divine forces are incompatible with each other.

Divine power. In other words, priests dislike wizards who can be called scientists in a fantasy world who deny God and believe only proven knowledge, causing powers similar to those of God without believing in God.

Also, the wizard was displeased with the clergy who sometimes did things that could not be done with magic based on an incomprehensible principle.

Elso’s thesis asserting that there is an existence called God that is ambiguous but would be highly objectionable to deny that it does not exist.
That was… Hard for either side to accept.

“Just as you think. My mother was a heretic from the Society.”

Despite having enormous knowledge, he was shunned even though he was an intellectual who would not be surprised to receive the title of ‘Igula’.

The heretic of the magic world.

“Does it have to be the Magic Society?”

There was no subject, but Alfred understood.

“If my mother had insisted on the existence of fanatical Nanar, that thesis would have been passed long ago and she would have lived a prosperous life in her own way.”

Even if it was not Nanar who claimed that there were gods of each religion who are currently recognized for their size, the Magic Society would have accepted the thesis as an ‘interesting hypothesis’, immersed in the depth of that knowledge and effort.
Also, each of her religions would have lauded her as an intellectual.

But she didn’t.
She claimed that there were over a thousand gods besides Nanar.

That was a claim that neither the Magic Society nor the religion could accept.

“If my mother had just said that this is an argument that was described as ‘interest-oriented’ or ‘fun’ with a slight bend, the thesis would have been passed…”

But Elso didn’t do that.
She had faith in her own knowledge.

In a bad way, it is also called stubbornness.

Everyone from the society knew Elso’s name, laughed at him, and ignored him.

The school where Elso works is no exception.
People who laughed at her overflowed.

Even that alone would have hurt her pride and made it difficult for her, but Elso was a married woman with a child.

A widow who lost her husband.
She lost her husband a long time ago and has since raised Alfred alone… A poor man.

Her workplace was full of people who made fun of her.
Even the distance between work and home was far.

To get to the run-down house where little Alfred lived, it was an hour’s walk down a wide, untraveled path except for their hats.

It’s just that it must have been very difficult. I think.
At the same time, I understand why Alfred tried to be kind to his young heart.
Even to her child, her mother must have looked so hard.

“Isn’t there any sign of remarriage?”

She is a lovely woman to look at.
I think she would have been popular even if she had a baby.
Mostly, there are a lot of guys who come for the purpose of a one-night stand, but there must have been many people who wanted a serious relationship.

“She loved her father so much.”

Pure love.

“…Those are just my thoughts.”

Alfred added briefly, but her face showed pride in her mother.

She deserves to be proud
Landscapes passing in front of me.

Elso always knew Alfred. Egg. She called many times in her loving voice, hugged, kissed, stroked.
It was clear that she loved him.

…That too. It’s different from me.
He has never openly expressed affection for me…
…
Let’s stop thinking like that.

Seeing that even though she was having a hard time, she didn’t give up on her convictions, Elso seemed to be a strong woman, unlike her usual weak attitude.

But the price for her convictions was severe.
First of all, the school’s salary.
Ordinary job. The salary was at the level of the general public.

But where does the research money come from digging?
Usually, a wizard’s research costs an amount that would make the jaws of ordinary people drop.

Mr. Elso is already in a bad environment, and she has to take responsibility for Alfred as well.

She had her side job so far while she was overdoing it.
Even though she had a side job, such as handling the minor paperwork she left behind at school.

Okay.
That’s why those teachers treated Elso as a subordinate.
Because he usually worked on the sidelines and looked like a subordinate.
Also, it was because of the cautious attitude seen in the memory world.

“That, that… Can I work more today…?”
“If you hit it a little more… Hehe…”
“Ah, that, something like that. It’s not that I don’t want to do it… Uh… But that job… Oops! I’ll do it! I’ll do it!!”

Kneeling.

Mr. Elso tried.
He put his pride aside.

…Money.
Fuck you.

What is money, and does it make people so miserable?

What’s more miserable. The gaze of young Alfred.
This is his gaze when he happened to see his mother at work.
I said.

“You were ashamed of your mother.”
“…”

Alfred didn’t answer.
I regretted it.
For hurting him?
No.
In half. In revealing my feelings.

A child of that age. Of course, it can be distasteful to see a mother bowing down to other adults, and even to the parents of children she dislikes.
My inner thoughts bubbling over the topic of being only a third person must be unconnected to Alfred.

“It’s as you say.”

Alfred didn’t deny it.
The voice was more subdued than before.

“…Still, it didn’t show.”
“…”

It seemed like a comforting word to myself.

Little Alfred, for his mother’s sake, rubbed his shoulders, acted cute, and never complained about common side dishes.

That’s just like me…
…The fuck.
Because let’s stop

“Because it was such an environment… Actually, I was a childish child, but I had to look like an adult.”

Alfred’s eyes narrowed, and the scenery changed.
The scenery is the one I saw at the beginning.

A young Alfred reads through the window. Magic is the same as a dream. Staring at the

“But. There were limits.”

Alfred murmured that the limit came at the worst possible timing.
The world rushed like a torrent of rain.
Even in the middle of the day, the memories of the old days are stuck in the brain.

Mr. Elso’s hardships and his affection for Alfred.
And Alfred’s charm to repay his mother’s love.

In the meantime, colleagues around you. In particular, the flirtation sent by a writer named Hemil to Mr. Elso intensified.

I don’t want to give you a job, I want to be alone with you.
Mr. Elso laughed nonetheless.

[I hated that laugh.]
[Looks like an idiot.]

Alfred’s eyes twitched.
Even if you don’t want to say it. This world tells the truth.

[I hated everything.]
[But I was able to endure it.]
[Since the conference discussion will be held soon.]

“Academy discussion…?”
“…It’s a place where people from the Magic Society gather to show off their knowledge. My mother was planning to participate there. If you were recognized for your knowledge there and received a title, you’d get a good thesis and equal rewards.”

Right.
If it was Mr. Elso’s knowledge, no matter what thesis he was writing, he would have been recognized for his knowledge if he had a little conversation.
The situation would be much better.

“However, it is an unnecessary formality.”

Even just conforming to the dress code required a salary that was several times that of the average person.
Mr. Elso worked tirelessly to collect the money, and the time for discussions was getting closer.

Then one day.
Alfred’s birthday is approaching.
Circles on the calendar. It’s his birthday in two days.
I looked at the date and opened my mouth a little.

Manage.

Alfred’s birthday was Manage.

On the eve of the Mana Festival, Alfred was with his children.
Alfred didn’t just get hit unilaterally, even though he was weak, perhaps because he trained himself over and over again.

The kids still tried to ignore him and look down on him, but he felt like he wasn’t being taken lightly.

[I looked down on them.]
[Trash who have nothing to themselves, who were just born to rich parents by chance.]
[There was nothing to envy about toys or anything.]
[It was like that until that day.]

That day, instead of attacking Alfred, the kids showed off their stuff.

“Hey. Do you know what this is?”

The one who shook the thick book was the only child Alfred recognized, who had achieved quite a bit of magic at his age.

Young Alfred seemed to feel a rivalry with him.
The other children didn’t know, but they couldn’t ignore his words.

“…It’s a magic book.”
“Hmph. It’s a book published by Giza Yi-nim, who is an Egulaizer and an authority on magic skills!”
“…”

A vivid feeling of envy appeared on young Alfred’s face.
Seeing the envious face of Alfred, who always bullied them, but was usually indifferent to them, the children were arrogant.

“Do you know how much this is? This is a book you will never buy!”
“…”

Alfred was angry.
I couldn’t stand being ignored by that kid.
More than anything. I don’t know if it’s physical strength, but I couldn’t stand being left behind with magic.

“The day after tomorrow is my birthday.”
“? What are you saying? It’s your birthday, so you want this?”
“You’re talking funny. You. Dreams and magic are the same. You know that book?”
“…!”

The child is stiff
Of course everyone knows.
A book that requires a year’s salary of an ordinary person.
It was a book that even a child from a wealthy family would not dare to beg to buy.

“My mom bought it for me!!”

Alfred boasted triumphantly.

Of course.
Can you afford to have the money to buy it?
Even young Alfred knew that.

He pondered over and over until he bit into the warm soup that had been out for a long time.

“Why do you know? Where are you sick? Soup liver is not good?”

Elso with a worried face.
Alfred munched his mouth.

[At that time, in my head, I couldn’t remember the name now, and the sight of that idiot-like kid who learned magic with a form was making fun of me.]
[Son of a fanatic. Liar. Beggar. Such swear words came to mind clearly.]
[I didn’t like it.]
[So that. I asked my mother for the first time.]
[No, I used a group.]

“Oh, Mom…”
“Yes why?”
“…Hey. I… That. That… Eh, Magic and Dreams are the same. There’s a book… Can you buy that?!”
“Huh?”

Mr. Elso’s expression hardened with bewilderment.
Then, the bewilderment turned to joy.

“That’s right~ It’s Al’s birthday soon~”
“…”

Alfred’s anxious eyes.

“Okay!! Mom will buy it for you!!”
“…!”

Alfred happily hugged Elso.
Elso chuckled and hugged him.

[Maybe he was willing to ask for a favor from his son, whom he had never begged for except when he was very young.]
[Mother said she would understand with a smile.]

The ending is predictable.
Mr. Elso was busy preparing for the conference.
And no matter how much Emrepes wrote the book, it was just a book written in an easy-to-understand way by the general public, a book that was not necessary for Elso’s level of knowledge.
To be honest, I wouldn’t have known what kind of book it was.
Had I known, I would have never thought that it would be expensive.

Next day.
That is, the day before Alfred’s birthday.
Dinner table.

Mr. Elso held out a gift package cautiously.
Young Alfred took the package and hurriedly unwrapped it.

The book that came out.
Let’s learn some very thin, basic magic. A book called.

Little Alfred’s face hardened like stone.
Mr. Elso hastily added.

“Bird, the book is more expensive than I thought…”
“…”
“T-Mom will buy it for you next time. So, will you put up with it for this birthday…?”

Considering their family circumstances, even that thin book would have been a luxury.

Alfred knows.
However, reason and emotion are not always the same.

The limit of a child’s patience has come.

“…Next when?”
“Huh?”
“Next time!!”

Jjoong!!

A book was thrown on the table.
Utensils flew and trays of fried food spilled onto the floor.
Mr. Elso seemed to be flustered and scolded him with a determined face.

“This!! It’s not delicious!!”

Alfred’s cry made his face go blank.

“Every day, I only eat grass like this… Meat. I want to eat meat!!”
“Egg…”
“What is this? The kids next door basically buy and carry books written by Egula… I wonder what this is!!”

A kid who writes evil.
I hate to see it.
It’s really annoying… I’ve never been like that in my childhood. Even so, I was reminded of the young me.

I didn’t know that person was sick.
A young kid who didn’t know he had a fatal disease and grumbled that he wouldn’t teach him martial arts.

My thoughts were broken by little Alfred’s shrill cry.

“When did I ever ask my mother for anything?!”
“What did mom do to me!!”
“They always tell me to be patient! A mother is not even a mother!!”

After screaming as hard as he could, Alfred ran to the room and locked the door.
Mr. Elso, who normally knocked on the door immediately, was silent.

And Alfred, who was lying on the bed… Smiled at the corner of his mouth while crying.

[My mother loves me.]
[I’ve never been able to afford it until now, so I’m going to buy it even if it’s unreasonable.]
[Such an ugly calculation was rising in my heart.]

I glanced at the adult Alfred standing next to me.
He was still standing motionless.

However, when the scenery changed.

“Stop it.”

Alfred turned to me.

“Torture or whatever. This kind of skit…”
“…”
“The skit is…”

Alfred was speechless.
His eyes were now shaking uncontrollably.

The day of Alfred’s birthday.
The day I prayed for Manaja.

[When I woke up in the morning, my mother’s face was swollen.]

Guilty.
But Alfred ignored it.

I even ignored the faint voice calling out to me.

At school, yes kids teased.
Didn’t you bring the book after all?
I knew that.

Alfred boasted that the book was at home and that he would definitely bring it tomorrow.

And my mother worked overtime that day.
Alfred’s mouth caught on his ear.

That day his blizzard raged.
That night. Mr. Elso did not come home.
Alfred muttered under the covers when he was coming back.

[Okay.]
[Still, it was just as good.]
[After this night is over, the book written by Emrepes will be in my hands.]
[It actually was. I got the book.]
[And.]
[I lost something much more precious than books.]

The scenery changes.
People in public institutions.

And among them, someone covered in a reddish white cloth.
Alfred standing in front of him.

Elso the next day.
A body was found on the road.

The cause of death was a collision with a wagon.

Mr. Elso … Stretched his affairs to the limit that day.
He says he has a book he wants to buy for his son, and he says he’s bent down to the waist.

I heard that Hamil condescendingly gave his permission.

So she worked until dawn.
She broke the savings she had to spend on the ‘society discussion’, took the money she earned from her side job, bought the book Alfred always looked at, and then hurried home.

…It was hard to see it as the wagon’s fault.
It was a snowy night, and Mr. Elso was exhausted, so he said he was very dazed when he left work.
I couldn’t have avoided the wagon that suddenly came out of nowhere.
He couldn’t have expected that the little woman would appear in a situation where the carriage was already limited in sight.

Horribly. Mr. Elso was run over by her carriage and she did not die immediately.
Result. She is said to have been alive for about five hours.

Her whole body was crushed and the cold must have been very painful.
Even so, she tried to hold on, and showed signs of crawling, but eventually the limit came.

She died without even closing her eyes.
In her hands, magic and dreams are the same. She held onto the book tightly and did not let go.
Even though she was hit by a carriage, she didn’t let go.
The book was drenched in Mr. Elso’s blood.

Alfred burned it.
I just couldn’t stand still.
The more I looked, the more painful it was.

“Uweeeeeg

Upon returning home, Alfred continued to vomit.
Mother’s corpse.
The corpse that keeps floating.

Alfred, the adult next to me, had his head down.
He was still in a neat posture, but only his eyes shook like the sea of ​​a typhoon.
He seemed afraid to look at his mother’s corpse.

[The world is absurd.]
[Even her mother was taken away from me who had nothing.]

Even worse, the wagon swerved to avoid Mr. Elso and then overturned, seriously injuring or killing the people inside.

There wasn’t even anything to complain about.

[…No. There is something to be resentful of.]
[There was that bastard.]

Young Alfred picked up his sword.
There was nothing to see.
I just needed someone to resolve my resentment.

It was Hemil who was looking for it.
The school and the teachers’ office were a sea of ​​tears.

In the end, everyone liked the kind Mr. Elso.
Abominably.
Even though she usually treated her mother as a maid.

[Abominable bastards.]

Fortunately, the Hemil I saw at school wasn’t crying.
He looked condescending and arrogant as usual.
Alfred followed him as he left work.
He said he would kill you in the street too, and he grabbed all his knives.

And the opportunity came.

“Hey.”
“…!”

Hamill turned his back.
His face was full of… Fear.

Alfred was delighted.

“Die. You devil.”

[If this guy hadn’t given her too much work, if she had given her normal work without interruption, there would be no reason for her mother to work overtime.]
[It’s all this guy’s fault.]

Alfred stabbed Hemill in the stomach with his knife, cutting off his own hand.
An old knife that does not know how to hold it properly, and even a knife is blunt, making it difficult to pierce people’s skin.
It was natural.

“Ahh…!”

Alfred was in pain and his eyes went white.
Tear.
The world becomes whiter at the same time.

[I am.]
[Can’t even revenge change?]

“Agh! Die! Die!! Die!!”

Puck. Puck. Puck.

Young Alfred beat Hemill and kicked him.
Meanwhile, Hamill lowered his head.
Then, he knelt down and put his head on the ground.

Alfred stopped punching at the unbelievable sight.

“Sorry…”
“…”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Hamill cried and hugged Alfred.
He continued to cry and cry.

What Hamil was afraid of.
It was just seeing Alfred’s face.
It was the guilt of what he had done to Elso.

The fact that he seemed different from usual was because he was forcibly acting his usual self.

[His love for Elso was sincere.]
[She was thinking that she was responsible for her death.]
[What he feared was not a kid with a knife, but a child left alone because of him, guilt, and sin.]

“Uhhhhh…”
“…”

That crying face.
I’ve seen it.
The face I saw when I disassembled the body of Malachia,
Know.
Now, it seemed like I knew.
That man…

[It wasn’t Blurt Hemil’s fault.]
[Actually, I knew.]

At this moment, Alfred lost everything he could resent.
No.
There was only one left.

Just yourself.

[It was I who killed his mother.]

The scenery flew by.
Alfred, adopted by Blut.
Alfred puts all his energy into magic.
Alfred insisted on a ‘neat and perfect’ appearance so that his opinion would not be ignored.

He practiced magic almost to the point of mysticism.

There was only one thing in his mind.

[Mother was right.]
[I will leave proof that she was in this world.]
[I will prove the existence of God to this world with evidence that the bugs will admit.]

[All of that, for my mother…]

“I’m filming a new wave.”

I couldn’t stand it and spit it out.

***

Kwachang!!

The memory world is broken.
I could feel that Kitz and Lenea were startled.

After escaping from the world, I choked Alfred with my right hand.
Strong enough to break his hand with the slightest pinch.

“Eight days!!”
“Instructor Dre!”

He stretched out his hand to stop him from coming.
If you come any closer, this hand will break Alfred’s neck.

“So what?”
“…”
“Your mother died because of your fault, is that an indulgence for offering the students as demon sacrifices?”

I know.
That I’m talking dog crap right now.
But I was angry and couldn’t stand it.
I wanted to see this bastard show his true colors.

Alfred… It was quiet.

“It can’t be an indulgence.”
“Ha. Did someone you know do that?”

I now grabbed Alfred by the neck with my left hand and strangled him.

“Somehow you’re pretending to be for your mother. You, that’s… You’re not doing it for your mother’s sake, you’re doing it for yourself.”

It is not for the sake of Mr. Elso that this bastard will announce the existence of God to the world.
For Alfred himself.

“Because I’m sorry for my mother, I want to do something for her, but I can’t, so I’m going to grant her wishes. That’s how you’re going to feel comfortable, right?”
“…”

Alfred’s face contorted.
He took great pleasure in seeing it.

“I don’t know that people who are dead to feel comfortable, but to sacrifice others with self -satisfaction? While saying.”

Alfred then raised his head.
What filled that face was joy.
It is not the gaze that sympathizes with the garbage-like self that everyone misunderstood, but the gaze that despises and understands.

Damn.
I wanted this bastard to suffer, but I didn’t want to give someone the joy of being understood.
He said just as he was about to break his neck.

“That’s right.”
“…”
“Now I… I might still be the immature child of that time.”

Quiet breathing.
And Alfred smiled at me.

“Why. I can see why a true warrior dared to show you my memories.”
“What?”
“You’re like me. You.”

Alfred’s voice was watery.
He opened his mouth like a crucian carp, then finally raised his voice.

“Everyone who knew my circumstances… Thought I was working for my mother, for her honor. Not the headmaster. Not even Blut.”
“…”
“You are the first to know my feelings. It must be because you are like me.”

I couldn’t open my mouth.
It’s true that I… Identified myself with this guy, which made me even more disgusted.

Alfred closed his eyes tightly.
He still didn’t cry.
He might have forgotten how to cry.

“I’m sorry. I want to do something for you, but I’m dead. I can’t do anything anymore.”
“…”

It was.
I didn’t know if my dad had a fatal disease, and even though I knew, I didn’t want to admit it, so I complained until the end and did nothing.

“Again. It’s scary.”

Scary.
As for what’s scary…

When that person dies, maybe he resented me for dying.
“When that person dies, maybe he hated me to death. It’s scary.”
“…”

I saw something hanging around Alfred’s neck.
Small pendant.

Elso’s bright smile peeping through the pendant.

I saw it and let go.
Ah. Better than me

I was scared, I couldn’t… I couldn’t carry a picture of my dad.

This guy is better than me
There was nothing more I could do about it.