Chapter 8 – Preparing for the Feast

No.

Don’t get carried away here.

If I turn everything over because I don’t know what to do, the life I’ve lived as a saint for 20 years, the image I’ve built up until now, will all be destroyed.

In order to go to the festival in a month, you have to be careful not to destroy that image.

Because the first gateway for me to go to the festival is none other than Lydia.

Knowing that I was interested in that would obviously stop me from trying to go to the festival.

Well, even if there are some cracks in the image, you can say that it’s okay to leave it open and go to the festival comfortably, but if that happens, my identity becomes a problem.

I don’t even want to imagine what would happen if my identity was discovered.

She feels betrayed and, let alone distanced from each other, she might sit down on the spot if Lydia, who was devoured by her betrayal, ate her twin lust.

Either way, that should never happen.

I don’t want to be like that.

If you leave everything else behind and get caught by other nuns, rumors might spread that you are a saintess who draws sluts.

Originally, nuns are lighthearted while pretending to be heavy-mouthed.

When they talk among themselves, they will say that this much will be okay, and as it spreads and spreads, some nuns will once again tell their acquaintances outside, thinking that this much will be okay.

If it spreads in a chain and spreads to the Holy Kingdom and beyond to the Empire.

Then you die socially.

No way.

You should never find out that I draw something like this.

If you don’t, you may be kicked out of the Holy Land.

That I am Lily is my own secret that must never be found out, she must be dragged to the grave.

Even if she is Lydia like her family.

Can not help it.

I approached Lydia, who was bowing her head, and gently hugged her.

As I embraced her, Lydia’s body, which had been sitting still with her head down, trembled.

Lydia must be in a very difficult situation mentally right now.

Saying that it’s bad and that you shouldn’t be paying attention to it will only drive you further mentally.

So here…

“Lydia is not bad.”

Caressing.

Lydia of the past, she always did to me whenever I was tired of having to live as a saint or whenever I did something wrong.

…

She said just a few days ago she was going to draw a cartoon where she saw someone like her family and got fucked like her dog and she really drew and I don’t mean to say…

I think it’s worth it.

I couldn’t eat properly for several days and prayed all day. Isn’t it strange that I am mentally concentrated?

There, even if there was a little problem with me, it was Lydia who shouted that her posture was crooked, so I couldn’t help but get angry at Lydia.

I’m not bad

“Saint… ?”

Lydia looked up at me as I hugged her and stroked her hair.

I looked down at the pitiful woman with a complicated expression on her face as tears welled up in her bright eyes and ran down her cheeks.

What should I say to this person who is so pure that she can’t even speak.

Since she has lived in a convent all her life, what should I answer to the nun who has lived for God without knowing filth?

I sighed.

It’s the same for me, but unfortunately, because I have memories of my previous life, I’m rotten to the point of being comparable to Lydia.

Well, compared to Lydia, who rarely goes out of the convent because she is being treated as the mascot of the Holy Land, it is true that she is a bit out of touch with the world.

These are the seeds I sowed.

It’s right I take it

“It’s never a bad thing to be interested in something like that. Rather, it is natural.”

“Is it normal… ?”

“If I had done something really bad, God would have punished me. But isn’t there any punishment that has come down on us?”

So, get your mind right.

“Ha, but when God created us as creatures, he divided them into men and women and gave them roles… Am I not the same as trying to break the rules set by the gods… ? Women only have to share affection with men… ?”

“No, it is not.”

What are you talking about with my mouth?

There is no such thing in the doctrine I know.

“God made us and gave us the freedom to do whatever we want. Of course, women are meant to share affection with men, but even if they are the same woman, she is the same person and a creature created by God.”

“Ah… “

“God is merciful. He is not someone who only punishes people of the same sex.”

After that, I think I explained it well.

That’s right, to explain it. If I roughly summarize what I said, that’s it.

“Oh well, I didn’t ban it, so there’s nothing wrong with it, but weird things are right, so do whatever you want. Still, if you are going to date, it would be better to do it with a man than with a woman.” This is it.

It is true that there is no same-sex prohibition in doctrine.

The first thing I memorized after becoming a saint was the Bible, and I can’t help but know it.

Since I was young, I had to memorize it like I was brainwashed, so I remember it unconditionally.

Have my efforts paid off?

Lydia’s trembling body stopped.

“Really… Is it okay… ?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“Hey, heh… “

Whether my answer was satisfactory or not to her liking, Lydia began to weep.

She panicked for a second, but when she hugged me and heard Lydia’s voice muttering that she was happy, she seemed to shed tears of relief.

Ha… Really…

I’ll have to be careful.

From now on, I will not draw or draw pictures based on the people around me.

In [The Real Princess and the Fake Princess], The real prince and the fake prince in the previous world are just swapped. In fact, there are quite a few of the comics written in this world that brought the contents of comics or novels from the previous world.

Most of them were made with lilies, though.

But while watching romance manga or anime, why isn’t this a lily? For me, who imagined the same thing a lot, this place was no different from heaven.

Because no one says anything to me about drawing, and no one thinks I’m weird!

Of course, it’s not just about bringing cartoons from the previous world.

As she was originally a famous artist, she often draws originals as well.

It’s not like I usually live with a deadline.

Anyway, at first I wondered what would happen…

I looked down at Lydia.

Unlike just before, when she seemed to have lost her light, her vitality was now returning.

Thank god.

Really…

I let out a sigh of relief.

.
.
.

I hated myself

He hated himself for being interested in the behavior of women and not being able to get out of it, and for being sexually curious about the saintess.

Thinking that she would go crazy if she continued like this, she hated and loved the saintess who refused to take care of her anymore, so she locked herself in her room.

How many days have passed since you’ve been like that?

Smart

– Lydia? Are you inside?

The voice I’ve been waiting for so long.

Suddenly, I got up from my seat and opened the door.

Why is the saintess here? When she opened the door with that question in mind, the saintess was there.

Even though she is not confident, she has well-groomed hair that shines like the sun, divine eyes that are purified just by looking at her, and a beautiful appearance that seems to have been manifested from a goddess.

Ah… Saintess…

Did she come to punish herself on behalf of the Goddess?

I had to calmly accept it.

Because that’s a nun.

As the chief nun, she had to lead other nuns, so she had a bad heart.

As a woman, I was curious about sharing feelings with the same woman.

I thought I deserved to be punished.

But the saintess said.

“It’s never a bad thing to be interested in something like that. Rather, it is natural.”

“If I had done something really bad, God would have punished me. But isn’t there any punishment that has come down on us?”

It was.

It’s natural.

It’s okay, there is no punishment that came down.

“God made us, and he gave us the freedom to do whatever we want. Of course, women are meant to share affection with men, but even if they are the same woman, she is the same person and a creature created by God.”

“God is merciful. He is not someone who only punishes people of the same sex.”

God is merciful.

God allowed her to even harbor affection for the saintess.

I see,

That’s fine.

Forgive me for harboring these feelings, for daring to harbor such thoughts towards the saintess.

I looked up at the saintess.

I see the face of Eris, the incarnation of her merciful goddess, who has been living like her family.

The moment I saw her face, I was sure.

I felt that I was in love with this woman.

Thank you for your permission.

Thank you for allowing me to feel this way.

Thank you.

I was genuinely delighted.