Chapter 30 – Sin – 3

“Luka! What are you doing in a place like this?”

As a child, I was very cheeky. In particular, after entering the academy as a genius wizard, she grew up to be a girl who was even more rejoicing in the praise of people around her. Even though I knew better than anyone that it wasn’t true.

“…I’m in a bad mood, so go away.”

Nine times out of 10, if I was being arrogant, they would accept it, but Luca belonged to the other 1 out of 10. Even though I knew that, I kept ticking and bothering him. Perhaps, it may have been that I was being mean to her for no reason.

“Why? What are you worried about? I’ll solve everything. Tell me.”

“It’s okay.”

“Tell me? It’s not a big deal at all, but…”

“Because I don’t need it.”

Then, when I crossed the line, Luca held back his anger and fired at me with his characteristic sharp tone. Then I was so downhearted that I couldn’t even respond properly and hovered next to her restlessly. If you had been kind to me from the start, none of that would have happened. Back then I was much dumber than I am now.

“Ah…Yes. I’m sorry. I’m really in a bad mood. But tell me. Maybe I can help you.”

In the end, like an idiot that day, I scraped off Luca’s kindness and let her tail go down. Even so, the kind-hearted Luca dealt with me until the end.

“…I saw it.”

“What?”

“Ellie was at her house, changing her clothes…As usual, she just slammed the door open and walked in. So…”

“Uh… Is that why you saw her naked?”

“…Huh.”

Luca replied gloomily and threw the pebble in her hand into the river. The cold water splashed on her toes with a splash. I slowly thought over those words and approached Luca, who was crouching with his hands behind his back.

“So? Are you crouching here because it’s awkward to face you?”

“Okay.”

“Can’t you just go and say you’re sorry?”

“It’s not as easy as it sounds.”

There was a deep concern in the voice that I couldn’t fathom. But seeing only superficial things, I could only give you the obvious advice.

“It’s not like I did it on purpose anyway. Ellie understands everything if it’s your business. If you just go and say sorry honestly, everything will be solved. If you put it off because it’s awkward for nothing, it’ll be harder to apologize later, right?”

“I know.”

Luca threw the stone again. Harder this time. The splash of water reached her ankles this time.

“I know.”

“Then you can do it.”

“It’s not a problem because I can’t.”

“Why? Like an idiot. If you can’t do it, should I tell you instead? Well, that would be even more stupid. So just go and say I’m sorry.”

“If it’s like you.”

Luka suddenly looked up at me. Then she looked back slowly in front of her.

“…Can you do it?”

“What?”

Again, stones were thrown. A large wave spread through the water, and the world reflected on the surface shook.

“If I had seen someone else’s naked body, I might have apologized and ended it quickly. But that’s not the case. The other person is Ellie.”

“What’s different about that?”

“I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

Luca finally threw the last pebble nervously. This time the water splashed up to her knees and soaked her skirt with cold water. Unknowingly, I got angry and screamed.

“Hey!”

“I’m leaving. See you later.”

“You…!”

I couldn’t bear to follow behind, so I just stared at the back of him leaving with my fists clenched tightly. Finally, when Luka’s figure disappeared over the hill, I lowered my head.

“Because the opponent is Ellie… I can’t.”

I still didn’t quite understand what that word meant. Since he’s a precious person, shouldn’t I believe that he will understand me better? Why are you hesitating?

At least. It’s better than being unable to speak.

The last word seemed to be thrown at himself. I crouched down on the floor and held in my hand the rock Luca was picking out with his hand. There was still a hint of warmth left. I calmly felt the texture of the stone in my palm, and this time I asked myself a question.

If what Luca saw was not Ellie, but my naked body. Would you have reacted the way you do now?

But as soon as the question came to mind, it quickly crumbled. Because I can’t be like that. I can’t even try to take Luca away from Ellie.

Then, I might not be friends with Ellie anymore.

I hugged my knees and buried my head. Cold water dripped from the wet skirt.

Clack clack

“Ah.”

The sound of the door shook my senses of reality and shattered the daydreams that floated before my eyes. I lowered my weary eyes and knelt on the cold floor.

Why at a time like this? Do you remember

Thinking about it made me laugh out loud. These days, I often think about the things I have lost. Like a ring that was accidentally dropped into the sewer, things that can never be retrieved keep wandering through my head.

Hometown. Ellie. Luca. The countryside scenery and the smell of peppermint flowers that I felt tired of. If there is one thing in common, they are all things I threw away with my own hands. I was sure I was holding a lot in my hand, but it felt heavy and I just let go.

I didn’t know that well then. If you start letting go of what you once had, your fingers will lose strength and everything else will flow down. After the hand becomes lighter, parasites cling to it to eat the remaining flesh. Again, the hands become heavy, but there is nothing to fill the empty heart.

Ah. Why am I thinking like this again? Even if you think hard about it, it won’t get better in the end. In the end, I brushed off all the remaining emotions on my face and looked straight ahead. Because now guests are coming.

Profit.

Soon, the door opened and another stranger entered the confessional. For some reason, the man who felt the strangest among the men I had ever met had closed the door before the light from outside had even penetrated.

Thud.

He closed the door and stared at me. Only pure white eyes were shining on the face that was so stuffy that it seemed obsessive. But it wasn’t the first time he had come in with his face covered, so I said it calmly without showing any signs of embarrassment.

“Hello brother. What sin did you confess to today?”

“…”

He didn’t answer Then, suddenly, the priestly uniform he was wearing caught my eye. I smiled bitterly and hung my head.

“…Who are you? Didn’t the believers come today?”

“…”

“Who are you? O’Neill? Hattan? Or Nadre?”

“…”

“Or maybe Bobby sent… No. It can’t be. Because he can’t care about me anymore.”

“…”

“Are you not going to answer me until the end?”

He still kept his mouth shut. However, it was possible to find out what that unknown priest had come to do without asking. Of course, he must have come to explore my body.

Very occasionally, believers do not come to confession. It’s really rare, but there are days like that. But that doesn’t mean I can rest. On such days, the priests who had a desire for me would secretly visit me.

So after all, since I became a saint, I have been hanging out with strangers every single day. Then, once, he contracted an STD and was bedridden for several days. Of course, even then, having an STD did not change what I was doing. Instead of holes, they served with their hands, and when they were not satisfied with their hands, they used armpits, thighs, hair, etc. The followers released their lust by using the part they wanted.

No, nothing has changed. Since that day, contraception has been provided in the confessional room. Not for my sake, but in case the guests’ bodies would be damaged because of the holy woman’s filthy cunt hole.

“Great.”

I finally let out a self-deprecating laugh and undressed slowly. It didn’t take long for her to become naked, as she had barely worn anything in the first place. I folded my clothes in a corner and looked at him.

“Finish quickly. There won’t be many people waiting anyway.”

“…”

He listened to me and started walking slowly. I closed my eyes and bit my lip a little. At least, I hope that his touch, which will touch my body, will be warm even if it is not kind.

But no matter how long I waited, his hand never touched my body. Instead, something fell in front of my eyes with a pop.

“…?”

When I slowly opened my eyes, I caught a small object on the floor in my field of vision. Recognizing its identity at once, I picked it up with a frown.

“What is it?”

“…”

“Are you sure you want to cover it yourself?”

I stared at him with the condom in my hand. But he silently shook his head and stared down at me. Only then did I realize what he meant.

You’re telling me to wet it.

The priest whose name we don’t know doesn’t even want to devote himself to caressing us. Even though there was lotion in the corner in preparation for this case, he wanted me to touch myself and wet myself from the inside. Or maybe you just want to enjoy the process.

Whatever he wanted, his hands trembled with contempt. Coveting my body isn’t enough, so now you’re going to treat it like a toy? But what was more disgraceful was not the fact that he was treating me as a sex slave, but the fact that I couldn’t even resist being treated like that. In that respect, the priest in front of me was brutally clever.

“…You bastard.”

I deliberately muttered something to myself so he could hear it. But he looked at me without moving. Eventually I made eye contact with him and put the condom on his finger.

“Okay. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“…”

At my words, he crossed his arms and leaned his back against the door, staring this way. It was like watching an animal in a zoo. Feeling my face flush with shame, I pointed my finger downwards.

“…I’m sorry.”

As soon as the stiff rubber touches her sensitive skin, a moan that is closer to pain than pleasure comes out. I tried to put it in, even if it was forced, but the inside of me kept its sharp lips tightly closed and did not allow any intrusion.

“Ah… Ugh…”

Still, if I kept rubbing, I tried to move my hand with the mind that someday it wouldn’t go in, but only tears came out. The man was staring at my unsightly appearance, and the only thing that increased as time passed was shame.

It wasn’t until after such a long time that I suddenly thought that this might not be the first time I’ve touched myself. On that day, until I was taken away by Barbie for the first time, I was a naive country boy who had never masturbated.

You only wanted to be loved by others all your life, so you didn’t know how to love yourself. Even though masturbation was the most vulgar and base method among them, I didn’t even know how to do it properly.

But I couldn’t say I couldn’t do it now. It was my pride that had already been scratched, but I was still holding on to my throat at the bottom.

Then what should I do? While I was thinking about it, I suddenly had an idea. So let’s imagine I’m not touching myself right now, I think I’m being loved by someone. Then maybe it will be of some help.

It wasn’t a good idea, but I had no other choice, so I hung my head. The question now was who to imagine.

Barbie was always the first thing that came to mind. True or false, I couldn’t help but love him. But he said the last time I saw him was over a year ago. Occasionally, I heard a voice in my head, but it was a long time ago that I faced my body, so the Barbie that popped into my head did not inspire me at all.

So who do you do it with? Leo? Rick? Or, those followers who ate me last week? All the guys that came to my mind were just guys like that. Either I only loved my body, or I just needed a slave to fuck.

There were only trashy men like that in my life.

…

No, in fact, there was only one guy who wasn’t.

Only one person There was one friend I couldn’t forget no matter how hard I tried.

There was a man who stole it because he was selfish and abandoned him because he was foolish.

Even calling his name now was disgustingly impudent, but I couldn’t bear to ignore the name that lingered under my tongue.

I finally closed my eyes and called out his name.

Luca.

“Ah…! Aww…!”

The body, which had not responded no matter how much I rubbed it, suddenly became hot and my fingers dug into it in an instant. I let out a loud groan and shook my neck.

Luca.

“Huh…Huh…!”

When I called his name again, his face came to mind clearly. Weird. Apparently we broke up more than 5 years ago. Even so, the image of him drawn in my head was as vivid as if I could hold it in his hand.

“Ah… Ah…”

The more she moved her fingers, the clearer Luca’s face became. The you in her head was no longer as hard as a stone. That said, he wasn’t drenched in her blood, nor was he lowering his head to the floor in misery. The you I see now is just an innocent boy in Laurenheim, just like back then when I didn’t know anything.

“Ugh… Ugh…!”

A flood of pleasure flooded his body, crushing even the slightest bit of pain. Even rubbing the inside with my hand wasn’t enough, so I pressed the nipple with the other finger. At that moment, the electricity pierced and rang, and the mouth naturally opened.

“Ah… Ah…”

I could feel saliva dripping from my open mouth down my throat. Obviously, he must be doing a very dirty look. But it didn’t matter. I’m used to seeing things like this to strangers. I didn’t pay much attention and focused all my attention on the imaginary Luca.

He was right in front of my eyes. Without saying anything Just keep your eyes fixed on me. Okay. Looking only at me It wasn’t Ellie that Luca was looking at right now, it was me. As much as Ellie, or perhaps even longer than Ellie, she was looking at me who loved you.

“Ha…Ha…Ha…Haa…”

As I lightly rotated the nipple while pressing it, a sigh full of exhaustion came out. Luka, who was looking at me in his imagination, also felt warm breath.

His eyes looking at me were bright blue. Whether that was true or not didn’t matter much. After all, this is imagination. And now, I was the only woman in the world who remembered Luca. I rubbed my innermost sensitive spot with his finger as I hugged him in my imagination.

“Ah…Aaaaa…!”

Unbeknownst to me, my back gave way and I collapsed on the floor. But the fingers continued to move. I didn’t want to shake off the euphoria that had already taken over my body.

“Ah… Uh… Uh…”

Soaked fingers pricked the inside, and the clatter echoed in my ears. It was definitely something I hated. Oddly enough, I don’t think so now.

Meanwhile, the imaginary Luca was trying to kiss me. Of course. Because you love me I held back the tears that were trying to squeeze out of my eyes and raised my head. Soon, a very soft touch touched my lips.

“Ah…Aaaaa…!”

Hot juice poured out and flowed down my thighs. I fell to the floor and poked my insides almost obsessively with my back pulled up. Now I couldn’t stop masturbating not because someone ordered me to, but because I couldn’t control my overheated body.

Soon, Luka’s lips, which had been kissing me deeply, moved downward and gently caressed my neck. Somehow I couldn’t stand the itchy yet pounding sensation and moved my lips to call your name.

“Ah… Luca…”

“…”

“Luca…Luca…”

As my imagination reached its peak, my body also became unbearably hot. Sensing that I would soon reach my limit, I closed my eyes even tighter. Luca. I think i’m going now So please love me more touch me till the end

“Ah…Aaaaa…!”

A sweet groan flowed out of my throat so that I wondered if it was right. Now, the thick juice that I can’t control came out, and I vigorously moved my hips and shook my waist against my fingers. I really can’t stand it anymore.

“Ah…Luca…Luca…Luca…!”

I called your name louder and louder Even if my head goes white in the rushing pleasure, I don’t want to leave you. So that your face, who loves only me, will never be forgotten.

At the last moment, I pressed my fingers against the inner wall and opened my mouth wide. And I called your name

“Roo…”

“Stop.”

“Haaaaagh…!”

The unfamiliar priest approached me before I knew it and forcibly pulled my arm and pulled out my fingers from the inside. Love juice gushed out along with the pain, and my back trembled involuntarily. Regardless of my will, I opened my eyes and the figure of Luca in front of me was shattered in an instant. I glared at him with hatred even as I trembled in the rush of pleasure.

“Ji…What are you doing right now!”

“…”

He stared at me intently, holding my wrist tightly. I was about to scream again, but I suddenly shut my mouth due to a strange sensation.

The look on his face felt familiar for no reason. When I looked at it from a distance, it was unfamiliar, but when I saw it up close, I felt an unpleasant sense of deja vu.

Why? I’m sure you’re seeing it for the first time. As I met his eyes without saying a word, I felt fear for no reason. The heated skin cooled to a chill in an instant, and even the radiant heart became silent.

I instinctively shrugged my shoulders and opened my mouth cautiously.

“Who are you?”

He listened to me and just stared at me for a long time. And then, again, he pulled down the clothes that were covering his face.

“…”

The black priest’s robe slipped, slowly revealing the hard nose, lips, and chin that had been hidden under the cloth. Each time the hidden truths were revealed one after another, I held my breath and held my beating heart. My body, which had been chilled, now became cold as if it had fallen into ice.

He was someone I knew very well.

“No way…”

A few words fell from his frozen lips. Suddenly, the grip on my wrist was tightened so tightly that it hurt. I stared at his face endlessly even as I shed tears in pain.

So, your face. I watched without hesitation.

You too stared at me. Only then did I realize that this was the first time I had ever seen you so close.

Your eyes weren’t sky blue.

Your eyes were such a cruel black color that even the last bit of hope was sucked into it.