559 – Soothing (4)

This is the worst experience of my life, Luna thought as she cleaned the dirty floor.

I’ve had so many experiences so far, but nothing was as bad as this one. I still get goosebumps when I think about it.

The experience of being a soldier dropped into the middle of a battlefield filled with so many emotions, especially madness.

Not only did he become a soldier, he was forced to kill others to survive, and even experienced death.

After going through all this, my head wasn’t working well. My heart was pounding and my head was spinning.

“Ugh······”

“Are you in your right mind?”

When things were somewhat better, Luna heard a familiar voice in her ears.

When he raised his head, he was able to come face to face with the woman, Seolhwa, sitting on the bed and looking down at him.

Luna couldn’t understand. What kind of magic had she used to be able to have such a vivid experience?

I knew there was a purple Transcendent, but this is the first time I’ve seen something like this possible.

“The reactions of those who have had a near-death experience are mostly similar: constricted pupils, loss of consciousness, and a pounding heart.”

“Cough. Ugh.”

“On the other hand, those who have experienced their first murder tend to show various negative reactions, starting with vomiting. You are relatively better off.”

I’ve heard that it’s something that academy professors sometimes emphasize.

There will come a time when you will have to commit murder, and the moment you enter the third grade, you will begin to experience the real thing.

I heard that since then, half of the students have dropped out of the academy. Most of them are unable to overcome the psychological shock.

That’s why I was told to be determined, but I didn’t expect that it would suddenly happen today.

“Sometimes, things like this happen to some people and they don’t mind. You’re not one of those people.”

“Who are those people?”

“As someone said, most people don’t want to get too close.”

“··· ···”

I’ve heard that too. A case where you can commit murder and still remain sane.

I heard that in such cases, you should undergo a psychiatric examination. It is said to be a case where your reason as a human being has gone astray.

I also learned that there is a world of difference between killing to survive and killing without reason.

That’s why the people above are so insistent on making ‘justifications’. Without a justification, there’s no motivation at all.

‘······How many times has something like this happened to Kara?’

Shivar can get by because he lived in the wild, but Kara can’t. Luna couldn’t help but see Kara differently.

She herself almost lost her mind at the time, but she has experienced this countless times. How strong is her mental strength?

And even Kara almost got into big trouble because of racial discrimination. In many ways, people’s affairs are something you never know.

“So what do you want me to do now? I can give you more if you want.”

“······Before that, let me ask you one thing. How on earth did you do it?”

Before we do this a few more times, I wanted to ask something. How on earth does Seolhwa have this ability?

To vividly experience another person’s experience or an arbitrary experience. This would be impossible to achieve even through magic or science.

The magic of the special training grounds can barely keep up. But even that can only barely embody the environment.

“Even she can’t answer that question.”

“Is it some kind of secret?”

“Have you ever wondered why people have eyes, a nose, and a mouth?”

“··· ···”

“Well, curious scholars may have questions. But it is so natural that even I cannot answer it.”

The eyes exist to see, and the nose exists to smell. That’s the feeling.

To be honest, I didn’t expect it, but it’s an answer that leaves me feeling empty. If it’s like a fairy tale, then it’s also a fairy tale-like answer.

Luna sighed and sprayed the deodorant. Now that the cleanup was done, there was only one thing left.

“So, do you plan on doing it again?”

“Is it the same?”

“If you want.”

“under······”

Thinking about whether or not to do more. To be honest, it helps a lot because it’s so vivid.

It is a huge merit to be able to gain experience close to real life situations, especially since it was an area where I was lacking.

But every time I did it, I felt like my mental power was being sucked out of me, so I didn’t feel like doing it. I felt dizzy and even vomited, so that says it all.

‘Because the demons will be more active in the future······’

Would it be better to ask the devils rather than people? Not a bad idea.

Just as he was about to ask to fight the demon, Seolhwa spoke first.

“The devil is an exception.”

“Yes? Why?”

It’s a surprising answer, regardless of whether you read the mind or not.

Seolhwa looked at Luna’s surprised expression and explained the reason.

“What I can embody is life itself. The nature of this world, as well as people and animals, are living beings, but not the devil.”

“Hmm······”

“You can do anything that life can do.”

She can do everything that life can do. As soon as that thought occurred to her, Luna looked at Seolhwa with a strange expression.

He hasn’t said it out loud yet, but he’s talking about it in his head. And Seolhwa heard it all.

“If you want, you can experience intercourse too.”

“······Did Seolhwa do it?”

“Unfortunately, it’s not for you to experience it. So, do you want to?”

“······no.”

Luna’s face flushed for a moment, but she barely managed to suppress it. She couldn’t throw away this great opportunity just because of that.

In that case, let’s lower the difficulty level to something mild. Luna said to Seolhwa.

“Then let’s have it be subjugating a group of bandits. I said we’d start combat training starting in the third year.”

“i get it.”

After about 5 minutes had passed like that.

“Phew!”

“Oh, man. Did he die again?”

Luna had no choice but to vomit out what was inside her again. She didn’t know what had happened.

“Rain, you cowards······ Poison······ Poison······!”

I can only guess from her muttering.

******

“······That’s why it happened.”

After all the classes were over, I heard about Luna’s experience. I was worried that something was wrong because she had changed so much in one day.

Fortunately, it was only a slight rain, but there were many traces of hardship. You can tell from the hair that was bleached white.

They say this is what happens when you’re under extreme stress, but I never thought I’d see it in real life. What a horrible experience you must have had.

“I wouldn’t want to die, would I? Look at my hair right now. It’s red.”

This question seems to have been the same for Kara, too. Her hair is a beautiful shade of red.

There wasn’t even a hint of gray hair, which is a symbol of stress. Rather, the hair was shiny, and anyone could tell that it was well-maintained.

Luna stared at Kara after hearing that, then tapped the area on her head. The area where only the roots had turned yellow, like the yolk of an egg.

“I don’t know either. Besides, the color doesn’t fade from the ends of my hair and the roots are intact.”

“It’s like an egg.”

“i think so too.”

Luna also agreed without thinking, as I blurted out the words. It felt even more so because her hair was already yellow.

I wonder if I can tease you about eggs from now on. While I was thinking that, Luna stared at me blankly.

“Shivar. When you were in the Forest of Chaos, didn’t your hair ever turn white?”

“huh.”

“Oh, shit. Why is it only me who is like this?”

Luna was twirling her hair, grumbling. Then she blurted out.

“It’s strange, I guess I was just tortured.”

“······What? Torture?”

“Yes. I was assuming a situation where you were taken hostage.”

“··· ···”

Now we have nothing to say. What kind of torture are you talking about, like taking a walk?

Luna, who checked our reactions, said as if she didn’t understand.

“Have you ever been tortured, Kara? I thought you would have. You even fought in a war.”

“That’s true, but I’ve never been taken prisoner. If I had, there would have been serious traces left behind.”

“I thought that······torture of prisoners was banned internationally?”

Grace asked cautiously. As she said, interrogation, not torture, was strictly forbidden.

Of course, it is a difficult situation for those who operate in the shadows, but at least during wartime, it is strictly prohibited.

At this, Luna blinked and tilted her head. It seemed as if she was wondering if she had misunderstood.

“ah.”

Then, as if he realized something, he let out an exclamation of “Oh no.”

“It wasn’t torture, it was interrogation.”

“··· ···”

“I did it for nothing.”

He realized too late that he had suffered because of a difference of only one letter. We all couldn’t help but be dumbfounded by his reaction.

Seolhwa probably didn’t even feel suspicious. She must have gone through such a process and thought it was an experience worthy of torture, so she just let it go.

In the end, it means that I suffered alone. But fortunately, it wasn’t completely meaningless.

But there is something I am worried about. There are many different types of torture.

There is a type of torture that is particularly the worst.

“······You weren’t subjected to s*xual torture, were you?”

Kara asked cautiously. As a woman herself, that part must have bothered her.

I’m also worried. I’m going to have to go through many situations in the future, and it’s going to be difficult if the wounds are already severe.

“Yes. I didn’t like that either, so I didn’t do it.”

“Thank goodness. Then? Did you get your fingernail pulled out?”

“no.”

Then what kind of torture······

“I put a bug in my ear and that was it.”

“··· ···”

“Shiva, haven’t you been through something similar? You grew up in the Forest of Chaos. You must have suffered from bugs every time you slept.”

Luna asked me with a calm expression. Then, everyone’s eyes turned to me.

I looked at their expressions carefully, then scratched my head. Then I answered timidly.

“······Is it a bit much?”

It wasn’t just the foxes. Ants also came into the holes and harassed them.

I don’t know how much trouble I had dealing with that. I still get goosebumps when I think about it.

“Hey. Okay, let’s not talk about that anymore. Can you ask him to turn his hair back to normal?”

“I heard it was possible.”

“Then why didn’t you change it?”

Luna’s question to him was simple and clear.

“Isn’t it pretty?”

“··· ···”

“Honestly, isn’t it pretty? It’s rare to see such pure white hair.”

It is certain that he is the type that recovers mental power quickly.

“I said it looks like an egg?”

“Tell me I’m unique.”

Or maybe it was like this from the beginning.