Chapter 195 – [Awakening] Kim Katt

A cry was heard.

It only got bigger the closer I got to us. In that sorrowful cry, I felt a terrible sadness of an unknown depth.

Anxiety was felt.
Maybe I shouldn’t go.

Maybe something big is about to happen.

I tried to stop. But when I heard the sound of sobbing in this mire of sorrow, I couldn’t stop approaching. Eventually I got to the front of us.

ㅡHuh…! Black! Hi! Whoops!

Someone was trapped inside of us.

The cracked iron bars were rusty and broken, and the bricks that were clumsily piled up were cracked and broken. Of it. There was a weeping being crouched down with a blade wrapped around a towering vine.

“…”

I just stared at him crouching down and crying.

Nan Ning-gu in plain sweats. Neatly trimmed hair. White hands without calluses. Her skin was clean, and her hair was shiny.

He cried endlessly.

Cries engulfed my world. A very great sadness that shouldn’t exist, like a sea, began to fill. What I feel in it is despair. Fear. Regret. Unfair. Wrench. And hate. Sadness. Heart break.

Emotions that were suppressed.
The feelings that I tried to ignore.

Flowed into me

“—-Ah.”

This world was not a place for people who had lived on the modern Earth to live. Falling into a strange land without any foundation, I literally had to give up everything to survive, and instead of crying out, I had to move.

It was a very difficult job.

For me with conventional common sense, yes. It was impossible.
A world full of discomfort and pain.

At least, this world was like that to me.

So he confined himself.
Hide me

The emotions that saw in were things I had abandoned.

“Is that so?”

…Tried to turn away.

No, I turned away. Ah, is this like that? The weak man I turned away from and confined deep in my heart.

Right in front of your eyes, the existence that is locked in a cage and restrained, crouching and weeping. It was something I knew instinctively, and something I couldn’t not know.

The man’s name was Kim Geun-tae.

ㅡHuh…! Heck! Heck…! Whoops!

He was me

It means that I was ‘Kim Geun-tae’ when I lived on Earth. Surrounded by old gratings supported by broken bricks, entwined with thorny vines, he just curled up and wept.

I felt deep sadness.

…Would it have been pity?

“…Why are you crouching?”

It was painful to see him crying all the time, so I told him. —Sue. After crying for a long time, he raised his face and looked up at me at my question. A clean face with no scars. Familiar… And nostalgic faces. And now the face of the past that can never be regained.

He was Kim Geun-tae, not Kim Kat-t.

“Because I’m scared.”

He replied.

“…Why are you crying?”

I asked again.
Tears were still overflowing in his eyes.

“Because I’m afraid.”

And he answers

After he finished answering, he ignored me cleanly and started sobbing again.

—-Is that so?

Why are you crying like that, why are you crouching like that? I knew. He was the ‘weak’ part of me that I tried to ignore, turn away from, throw away and cut out.

It was like seeing me when I first came to this world.

No, that would be correct
That is me at that time.

Weak, cowardly, just a normal person.

Kim Geun-tae.

“…”

I looked down at him.

Okay.

That’s why it was protected by iron bars. Because this was something that was hidden deep inside of me.

To survive, I needed to hide my weakness. It was necessary to adorn the body with bravado. There was a need not to cry, a need to kill the emotion.

A lot was needed.
What I don’t have

I gave up a lot of things to get what I needed that I didn’t have.

“…Because you’re scared. Are you crying because you’re scared?”

Got down on one knee
Leveled with him.

How good was my hair at this time. After being discharged, I remembered that I couldn’t live as a sucker anymore, so I came up with my own style and tried to figure out how to manage my hair to the limit.

He reached out and put his hand on his head.
It was so soft.

“You Elastin motherfucker. Keep your head up.”

—Sue.

The crying man looked at me.

“You fucking ruined that handsome face.”

My face ruined with tears.
There were no scars, so he looked very weak.

“…I.”

Kim Geun-tae opened his mouth.

“Yes. You.”
“I’m afraid, I’m afraid.”
“I was afraid and scared.”

Know well.

I know very well.

I. Pass it on to you because it endured

“So. I can’t help but cry. Because I’m weak, I’m a coward. I can’t do anything. I just wanted this to end.”

He said through tears.

Ah,

This is it.

That’s what I’ve always wanted to say. It was the essence of me that I wanted to let someone know. Deep sadness and endless despair of a different world captive, dotted with resentment.

No one knows
There is also no one to share the solitude with.

The despair I had to endure alone.

“Why. Why did I have to go through this? I didn’t do anything wrong. But. But why am I in this hell? Why me. Why me. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

He spoke on my behalf.
Just as Kim Geun-tae poured out his emotions, he cried and vomited out his words.

It felt like my guts were about to come out.
His sadness began to contagious.

“I’m… Weak. And I’m a coward. I can’t live in a world like this. Stop it now. I want to end everything. But even that scares me.”
“…That’s why you’re crying.”

I wanted to die.
If it was such a painful life, I would rather die.

However, when I longed for life more than anyone else, I was rather afraid of dying, and I did anything to survive. Obsessed with life obsessed with life like that. I’ve been living broken

Sadness.

Forgotten suffering.

As I confronted him, I too began to suffer. I just wanted to cry endlessly here with him. If it was here, I would surely be able to cry to my heart’s content.

However.

Don’t cry

“To stop crying. So to overcome it.”

You shouldn’t be immersed in sadness.

“I don’t say that.”

Stood up
I drew my knife.

“Look.”

Kim Geun-tae, who had been crying, looked at me again.

That’s it.

That’s enough.

ㅡPapapapat!

I was angry.
I am angry at my weak appearance.

Immediately, the mounting method was performed. ㅡBung Zi Bung Zi! Swordsmanship reached the limit, a blade forged only to kill the opponent! Bone-cutting efforts and primitive macho muscles! I have become strong, sharp and brutal to survive!

“The power of Buddha!”

I have obtained strength!
I will show you my stronger side!

“The power of the Korean people!”

A surge of passion drove away my sadness.

“The power of King David who defeated Goliath, the legendary general of the Philistines!”

ㅡPay! The speed of the sword dance gradually increased. This place is not real. There is no physical strength or mana limit here. Extreme speed. A huge amount of mana gushed out from the sword dance that dared to cut time and space, and at the same time, the inner world began to shake strongly.

“Because you were weak!”

In that state, talk to Kim Geun-tae, who is crouching.

“Because you were weak! Because you were cowardly! Because you were gentle! Because you were kind! That’s why you despaired in this faraway, different world!”

I!

“I have survived while cutting my bones, I have practiced my sword and I have trained my body!”

I cried looking at him.
I saw two trembling eyes.

“Thus I became strong!”

See

Look, Kim Geun-tae.

This is the ‘me’ now!

The intensified sword dance finally reached the transcendence of the world. Exploding mana. Mana that scatters at the same time. The body floated up. In a world where gravity was reversed, I looked down at Kim Geun-tae as the heavenly horse.

If now

Can do.

“Heavenly Demon Reign.”

ㅡQuaguagwang! The earth trembled. The edge of the horizon collapsed and overflowed, and as gravity reversed, fragments of all kinds of power floated up. It soon became a huge earthquake and engulfed the world.

“Cheongma Wave Ceiling.”

ㅡKoo goong! The sky cracked. Heaven and Earth poured out their tears as Gaebyeok came to be, and in the end, it was the sky that was broken like a window. The black fragments fell to the ground and turned into smaller and smaller fragments. The swallowed world was destroyed as a result.

“Heavenly Death Beam.”

ㅡBye! The space was pierced. Above all, the hot rays of death pierced through time and space and extended infinitely, and that was light and death. With him, the world found light and learned the concept of death.

In the distorted, destroyed, and fluctuating inner world, only Kim Geun-tae, who was trapped in a cage, was fine. With anxious eyes, he looked up at me.

“My head, look at the Heavenly Demon, Kim Katt.”

To him like that.
ㅡTo me.

I will show my strong side.

“At my beckoning, the earth trembled, and the sky shattered.”

The inner world is completely fucked up at this moment. The huge wall that used to confine me was no longer in sight. It is because it was destroyed without a trace by the power of the Heavenly Demon, Kimkat.

“This is the “Strength” I gained from your “Weakness.”

Because I was weak, because of that, I was able to gain the strength.

“…Really?”

Kim Geun-tae saw me and Kim Katt.

Crying eyes.

“Have I become stronger…?”

It seemed to be longing for something.

“Are you discussing strength in front of the Heavenly Demon?”

It’s funny.

It’s funny, and it’s also funny.

The Heavenly Demon (天魔) is an entity outside the heavens.

Discussing strength in front of him was as meaningless as discussing the height of the sky. Gogeumjeil. Never before and after. The best. That was the modifier that existed for me, the Heavenly Demon, Kim Katt, and it was the truth.

“Look at the world that has been destroyed. This is the power you were able to obtain because you were weak. You were weaker than anyone else and were a coward. Look at the corpses I have piled up. Look at the corpses of enemies that fill the horizon. Who made that? I made it. I, Kim Katt, made it only with my own strength.”

Piled bodies.

“I am the Heavenly Demon.”

The way I walked

“It’s Kim Cut.”

That is the truth

“So.”

I say.

“Your weakness.”

Looking straight at him

“It wasn’t wrong.”

Don’t blame yourself for being wrong.

“Really?”
“Yes.”

I speak to Kim Geun-tae, who asks with a plea as if he feels anxious, as if he feels like a mirage.

“Really… Am I not wrong?”
“You are not wrong.”

That you weren’t wrong

I wasn’t wrong.

Being weak and crouching is perfectly normal.

“Huh…! But! But I’m a coward!”
“You are not a coward.”

Even so, you overcame it. In the end, he won and survived. Then it cannot be called a coward. Without the courage, without the courage to live, you cannot live.

You survived
Brave enough

“Khhhhh! But! But! But! It’s impossible for me! You might be, but I’m impossible! I want to go home! I want to see my mom! I want to see my dad! No more, no more! No more!”
“…”

Because I was weak, because I was weak, because I was cowardly, because I had a lot of affection, because I was gentle and kind. He crouched down and howled. That was the past me, Kim Geun-tae, and the helpless Earth, Kim Geun-tae.

Obsession to survive. Battle to the death.

Gave up a lot
Lost a lot at the same time.

I came down to the ground and approached him.

“Don’t cry.”

He who is crying and unable to get out of despair.
Hugged

“Kim Geun-tae.”

Hot tears wet my shoulders. I know everything. Don’t know everything am I not you I know because I am you. I exist for you In other words, the Cheonma Kim Katt exists only for Kim Geun-tae.

“Huhhhhh”

Ultimately, the only person who understands you is yourself. He cannot understand others, but he can only understand himself.

He wept bitterly.

It was my essence, the truth I tried to hide. Macho and Buddha were all self-deception and defense mechanisms.

The true me is neither the Heavenly Demon, nor the Sword Saint, nor King Gwon, nor King David, nor the descendant of Hwanung, nor the Wheel-turning King, nor anything else. It was just Kim Geun-tae, a weak Earth-born student on leave of absence from the military.

I wrapped myself up to fight against powerful enemies.

“You are a strong human being.”

I am a weak human being.

“It held up well.”

I just don’t know how to do anything.

He was just an ordinary person everywhere.

That I live in a different world, yes.
It was very difficult.

So I became Kim Katt.
I abandoned Kim Geun-tae.

By becoming Kim Katt, I cut out the weak parts and left the vicious parts. I, not myself, have struggled to survive in this world, and I have killed many things for myself, not myself. Like a shell. Surrounded by smoke and decay.

Thus, Kim Katt was born.

Kim Katt is cruel. It has no mercy and is very violent. He is strong against the weak and weak against the strong at the same time. He was nothing more than a third-rate scoundrel.

I can’t stand losing money, and if it seems like money, I’ll do anything. In order to survive in this world, Kim Geun-tae became that kind of Kim Katt.

“You are not at fault.”

He is not guilty

“What’s wrong is this world.”

If we talk about sin, what is wrong is the world.

“You’re normal. I couldn’t help it. It just happened because I didn’t want to die.”

Read him and say

“So.”

In the end, what I wanted to hear.

“Crying doesn’t pay off.”

Still, Kim Geun-tae was crying.
The thorns wrapped around his body and pierced my body.

“Don’t cry.”

Stroke his hair

Under.

Haha.

That’s funny.

“We’re the shit. Don’t you have Gao?”

Speak friendly

“Our fuckin Gao, you fucking bastards. I’m a heavenly horse, a heavenly horse. I use a lot of mana too. Mother, fuck you, I even cut an orc a while ago. You know what a fucking man I am .”

At those words, Kim Geun-tae laughed for the first time. I talked to him for a while. Talking to myself was quite a refreshing sensation. The person with the same inclination to share memories and memories was, above all, my understanding and a being with whom I could sympathize.

—-The one who cried.

Laughed

“…Thank you.”
“Thank you so much. What are you thankful for between us?

I smile lightly at my words and say thank you. At the same time, he shyly said that he couldn’t do that much. Okay. I was that kind of guy I mean, he was just a damn handsome (brain-ficial), fucking thin guy.

He has come

“Ah.”

Geun-tae’s body was embraced by me and disappeared as a bright cloud of light.

One step.

I stepped out where he was.

“No way.”

Particles of diligence that became a halo gathered in my hand. They gathered and gathered to become spheres of condensed light that radiated brilliant brilliance.

“Leave it to me now.”

Kim Geun-tae’s heart came through. My truth. And my nature. Always scared, scared. A weak man who made a stand-in while crouching down.

“You.”

That.

“I’m not weak.”

I squeezed it tight.

ㅡAhh.

Light leaked out between the fists. The magnificent light revealed my inner world that had fallen into darkness. The shaking earth falls asleep. The broken sky is restored. The pierced space regains its shape, and the fucked up inner world returns to normal.

The sun rose, and thus day and night were made.

“This blue spot is right there.”

It was my inner world.

— Jureuk.

Tears flowed.

At the same time I opened my eyes.
It was my familiar and most comfortable accommodation.

“I.”

I am no longer Kim Geun-tae.
The two are so different.

However.

“It’s Kim Cut.”

Kim Geun-tae is ultimately Kim Geun-tae, and Kim Geun-tae is Kim Katsu. The two were different but the same, the same but different.

“It’s Kim Cut, and it’s also Kim Cut.”

Power overflowed from the body.
I felt mana rising from my chest.

On this day, I faced my inner self in a true sense.

“It means Kim Katt has awakened.”

As a result, I made mana into my full strength.

“These fuckers.”

An irresistible urge.
Start now.