598 – Saints and Children – 4

As soon as I heard Tanian’s words, a nightmare passed by.

A nightmare suffered by members of the confectionery club during the 1977 season, more specifically the first semester of 1977.

‘It was terrible.’

The eccentricities that happened frequently, the ugliness that no one could get ahead of because they were keeping each other in check, and the hints that seemed to have been left at home before entering school.

Honestly, it’s impossible to express how terrible it is. The feeling at the time was ‘like a confectionery club.’ It is only possible to express it by creating a unique sentence.

But that nightmare is about to happen again. Through the mouth of a benefactor who bestowed blessings on my children and no one else.

‘Should I faint?’

To my horror, I even had that thought. Wouldn’t it be better to knock Tanian unconscious, erase his memories of her, and treat the poisoning as if it had never happened?

Of course, it was just a thought. Advanced techniques that knock people unconscious or erase their memories are not something everyone can do. If I, an amateur, cast something like that, Tanian would go to Enen’s side or become a vegetable.

No, not a vegetable person, but a vegetable person. Maybe it’s because I’m out of my mind, but my head’s gone.

“Brother.”

“Yes, you say it.”

First, I barely opened my mouth, suppressing my complicated feelings.

It is unusual for the word love to come out of Tanian’s mouth her. How despairing was the first semester of 1977 when this guy fell in unrequited love.

But when I think about it carefully, although it may be annoying, it is not the worst situation. He recognized that he was feeling different than usual, and rather than suffer alone, he asked an acquaintance for counseling. This means that although they may lack tact, they have the will and intelligence to solve problems.

“But I don’t know if this pounding is because I’m surprised or because I like it.”

It may be heartbreaking to hear, but it is a level that can be covered. If you give Tanian the right direction, there is a high probability that he will do it on his own.

“Brother said he was thrilled when he heard that confession.”

“That’s right. But like I just said, I’m confused as to whether it’s the excitement of surprise or the excitement of love—”

“There is no need to decide your feelings right away. When I heard the confessions from my current wives, I did not give them an answer right away, but took some time to give them an answer.”

Tanian’s expression became serious at my words. There is no love advice more valuable than that of someone who has had six wives.

“So brother, don’t be in a hurry. If you are caught up in the idea that answering quickly is polite and don’t read your own mind properly, that is just rude to the other person. You wouldn’t want to be rude to someone who just confessed to you, right?”

“Of course.”

“That’s it. Brother, hasn’t he already experienced love? If he gives himself enough time, he will be able to clearly realize his feelings.”

“Well, I guess that’s right.”

When I saw Tanian, who rarely stuttered, I burst out laughing.

“Don’t judge me. I know very well that you have cleared away your past feelings.”

“Haha, that’s easier said than done.”

Tanian smiled awkwardly and then lowered her head.

“Anyway, thank you for your valuable advice. It was right to ask you, brother.”

“I would be honored if I could help you with just a few words.”

I smiled with satisfaction because the conversation seemed to end on a warm note.

When Tanian first mentioned love, all sorts of thoughts came to mind, but fortunately, after three years since the 1977 season, Tanian had become more mature than I had worried about. Wasn’t he immediately convinced that listening to his heart was enough?

I don’t know who the person who confessed to Tanian was, but it is likely that he was a member of the same pilgrimage group. If so, Thanian has plenty of time to organize his thoughts.

“Then I’ll just leave.”

“Ah, yes. I pray that you have a happy year-end.”

As I slowly got up from my seat, Tanian personally escorted me out the door.

‘…I lived.’

And as soon as he was out of Tanian’s sight, he sighed.

At the end of 1980, I was anxious because I thought a disaster would occur.

***

I thought over my advisor’s advice several times.

There is no need to decide your feelings right away. Since I have already experienced love, I will be able to understand my current feelings as time passes. I felt at ease because each and every word was correct.

‘As expected, it was right to seek advice from an experienced person.’

If he had thought about it alone, he would not have been able to come to such a clear conclusion. I must have been trying to figure out my feelings alone, and I was driven by a compulsion to quickly give my sister an answer.

‘Relax.’

I laid down on the chair and looked up at the ceiling.

Fortunately, there is plenty of time. Since I came to the Empire in a hurry while making a pilgrimage in the Three Kingdoms in winter, there are still more than ten countries to visit. It’s not difficult to make up your mind during that time.

…And I feel like I already realized half of my feelings.

‘Love experience.’

As my advisor said, I experienced love, albeit briefly. Even if it was a one-sided unrequited love, that doesn’t mean the feelings at that time were light.

However, feelings similar to what I felt at that time began to slowly tighten my heart. The more I think of my sister’s face and her confession, the more my face gets hot. When you say you love me, when you say you want to create a family with me, I can’t get the image out of my head.

It’s a familiar experience. Because I was like this when I had Sister Louise in my heart.

‘Let’s not be hasty.’

However, he gently slapped her cheek with the palm of his hand to take away her thoughts.

If, just in case, this feeling may be based on embarrassment. If the heart palpitations subside after receiving the sister’s confession, it is a tragedy for both parties.

So let’s be patient. It is right to think about it for at least two weeks.

I thought so.

“Ah, brother.”

Until I saw Sister Alexandriana as soon as I left the room.

There was an awkward silence for a moment. I wasn’t ready to meet her yet, and it seemed like her sister didn’t come all the way to see me. It was just something I happened to encounter while passing by.

“Worship… Thank you for your hard work.”

“Oh, no. Other people had a harder time.”

First, she bowed her head towards the sister who bowed her head.

Let’s not be conscious. Although it became a little awkward thanks to the unexpected incident of confession, the relationship between me and my sister is not one that can be ruined by a small incident. We are friends who can freely share greetings and console for each other’s hardships.

But why? Unlike her her head her her her her, her heart her her her she couldn’t take it that way. My head her’s instructions from her that I could treat it like normal, my heart her was pounding like despite crazy.

“Hey, brother?”

“Yes, sister.”

“What I said earlier. Just forget it.”

“Yes?”

However, my pounding heart cooled down due to the sister’s refusal to confess.

What does that mean? I confessed confidently, shook my heart, and now I’m going to pretend it never happened.

“I said something strange because I was blinded by greed. I confessed to you. It shouldn’t have happened.”

The sister smiled bitterly and shook her head at me, who was stiff.

“As a priest, I dared to have unhealthy feelings toward the saint, and instead of setting an example for him as an elder, I put a burden on him. I feel like I want to relinquish my position as cardinal, but if I suddenly step down, it will only be difficult for others.”

I couldn’t open my mouth to see the sister coming to a strange conclusion by herself. They say that when a person is startled, they don’t even scream, let alone make a voice, but I didn’t know they would confirm it like this.

“I was entrusted with the important responsibility of assisting you, but I caused confusion. I sincerely apologize.”

The sister, whose reluctance was as sudden as her sudden confession, carefully turned around after saying those words.

The sight of the sister walking quietly and helplessly at the same time was extremely pitiful. Her always confident steps she was dispirited, and her shoulders she were drooping as if something was weighing them down.

“Sister.”

I couldn’t watch any longer, so I walked up to her sister and grabbed her hand.

“Who is doing this without permission?”

“Yes, yes?”

“Once you’ve bet your chips, no matter how sad it is, you can’t let it go. If it’s already on the board, it’s not yours, it’s all of us.”

“Brother…?”

She hugged her sister, who blinked blankly.

The promise to take time to think leisurely has long since disappeared. From the moment I saw the sister’s delicate smile her, I started to feel better.

If this is what the sister is aiming for, she must be a truly excellent hunter and strategist, but the sister I know is not the kind of person who would use such tactics. She is withdrawing because she truly thinks she is not suitable for me.

“The Lord did not prevent priests from getting married. Past Popes also welcomed priests starting families. But who can blame the sister’s feelings?”

“B-but…”

“Age doesn’t matter either. My friend has a wife who is 100 years older than her, but is she only 10 years older than her?”

“That’s a different species─”

“Sister, are you planning to give up your remaining decades just for 10 years?”

Then, the movement of the sister who was struggling in my arms suddenly stopped.

“If you’re withdrawing because you’re not attracted to me or because you think it wouldn’t be fun to make love with a young boy, I can understand that. But any other reason just sounds like an excuse.”

This time the sister couldn’t say anything.

I went into the room I was in just a moment ago with the sister. It’s rude to have a love fight in a hallway where other people can also pass by.

I don’t want anyone else to see that the person who shook my heart is depressed.

***

Jeong-gyeol, who had been sleeping since before the service started, suddenly opened his eyes.

“I did it, I did it.”

After saying just one word, he slowly lowered his head and fell into sleep.

‘What is this, you b*stard?’

During the service, the guy who had been saying strange things like taking a step forward said something even more incomprehensible.

Confusing. I heard that foxes don’t hibernate in the winter because their fur is so thick, but this one sleeps for 15 hours a day and even talks loudly in its sleep.

Anyway, perhaps because he comes from an evil spirit, he is extremely strange.