67 – Magical Cooking Competition (1)

By the time I regained my senses…

“Alright, let the Magical Cooking Competition commence! All magical girls, please prepare yourselves!”

I was already too far gone.

“The Magical Rules are simple! Cook something, and receive a good evaluation!”

Clearly, this wasn’t how things were supposed to go. How the hell did I end up here? I just wanted to eat some damn kimchi that wasn’t trying to kill me.

“Just making something is fine, but if possible, unleash your creativity and create a dish tailored to a special Magical Theme!”

It wasn’t even just a phony cooking competition.

Just looking at the faces of the participating magical girls, something felt off. The way they were burning with passion meant that this was a serious cooking competition, in its own way.

“The target for your culinary offerings are the magical girls in the judge’s seats! Please take care not to commit any Magical Disrespect!”

And that wasn’t all. The judges evaluating the dishes were all high-ranking magical girls.

There weren’t any purple or white magical girls, but some were of general rank.

“Furthermore, only one judge magical girl can partake of the food! Choosing your judge magical girl well is also a Magical Strategy!”

The problem was that the dorm residents, including me, were participating more or less against their will.

To be precise, I was ineligible to participate. I could be present and converse, but direct involvement was impossible or something.

In reality, the other dorm residents would have to cook.

I didn’t feel guilty.

It’s not my fault, to begin with.

It’s all because of that damn mess hall magical girl. Telling me to try cooking, then forbidding me from participating? What am I supposed to do?

She should just stick to making kimchi, that b*tch.

Meanwhile, the dorm residents each wore an uncomfortable expression.

The magical girls in the judge’s seats in front of them, as well as the numerous magical girls in the spectator seats above, seemed quite daunting.

“I’m feeling bad vibes. There’s too much attention.”

“Taishi probably isn’t feeling anything. You’re used to being watched like this, aren’t you?”

“This maiden is not accustomed to gazes looking down upon her, only those looking up.”

In effect, it was closer to being monitored, so it was only natural to feel uncomfortable.

“Can I get naked here? I really like the contemptuous looks looking down at me.”

“Get yourself together, Barbie is a lesser species. This is a magical public place, you know?”

“So, a place where exposure is permissible, I gather.”

“Are you truly being a freaking b*tch right now?”

Well, someone was certainly making others uncomfortable, even if unintentionally.

While a tentacle-monster frantically tried to dissuade a lesbian from disrobing, Sora quietly grumbled to me.

“You’re lucky, Senior. You don’t have to participate, so those kinds of stares aren’t burdening you.”

It seemed Sora envied me for being on the non-participating side.

“Truthfully, even if I did participate, I probably wouldn’t feel much.”

“Really?”

Well, it was certainly a given, one might say.

“Say, Senior, is it because you’re good at cooking?”

“I’m not bad, at least.”

Honestly, I had a certain confidence in my cooking skills, honed in another world.

Even with a body that couldn’t properly taste, I still strove to eat things in a presentable form.

Thanks to that, I could make most things look fairly decent.

As good as they looked, they likely tasted just as good.

And the fact that this setup was somewhat familiar contributed to my composure.

“Everyone knows this setup, right?”

“Huh? No way.”

The one cooking is below.

The ones watching are above.

Isn’t it a setup that anyone would have seen at least once on a famous cooking program?

“Isn’t that from *Black and White Chef*?”

“Ah, that’s right. Now that you mention it. It just came to me.”

Sora finally agreed with what I said.

Whitie quietly nodded her head.

“You’re talking about the show where a Black person is cooking and a White person is watching, right?”

“When you put it like that, it sounds like a program with some problems.”

At that moment, the emcee magical girl recited the final section of the cooking competition rules.

“Finally, the dishes chosen by each judge magical girl with their Magical Pick will be provided to all Magical Restaurants!”

Then, with a single exhalation.

“Then, let the games begin!!!”

Announced the start of the cooking contest.

Hardly had the emcee magical girl finished speaking, when the other magical girls began to bustle about.

Unlike us, who hadn’t even conceived of what to cook, the magical girls had finished their preparations long ago and immediately began cooking.

We, too, needed to start quickly.

We should decide on a theme first, I suppose.

“Let’s exclude vegetarian dishes for now.”

“Ah, but why, inferior one?”

The real cooking hadn’t even started, yet we were already beginning to creak.

What’s her problem this time?

I directed a look at Squid filled with that meaning.

“There’s an excellent teaching material, Magical Temple Cuisine, so there’s no reason to prohibit vegetarianism.”

Squid’s gaze was filled with conviction.

“Rather, because it possesses a specific magical theme of vegetarianism, we could aim for magical bonus points. Therefore, vegetarianism is right.”

However, I, too, shook my head vehemently, filled with conviction.

“No, it’s unconditionally meat. Seafood at the very least.”

“But why is that?”

Squid protested as if wronged.

I calmly confronted Squid’s protest.

“The one who loved meat created Hangul, but the guy who loved vegetables built gas chambers.”

In other words, this is proof that vegetarianism isn’t quite right.

“It’s not a gas chamber. It’s a magical slumber chamber where you can dream of paradise in a short amount of time.”

“You can’t wake up from a dream like that, you little shit.”

“Originally, paradise is a perfect place, so even if it’s a dream, you wouldn’t want to wake up. Inferior one, you lack magical enlightenment, as befits an inferior one.”

At that moment, Whitey’s slightly urgent voice subdued the war of nerves between Squid and me.

“Look over there. One team’s already cooking complete.”

“What?”

As Whitey said, one magical girl was just now submitting her dish to the judges’ table.

“This is my Magical Miso Soup.”

A bold gamble, yet not a poor one.

To present an overwhelming gap from the start, makes it all the more difficult for the latecomers to catch up.

Especially now, when the judge magical girls are all in a state of hunger. Meaning, the first dish they taste will leave a profound impression.

But.

“Why is this miso soup so… salty? Are you trying to dehydrate me to death with this much salt?”

The judging magical girl’s harsh critique was merciless.

“Ah, no… it shouldn’t be *that* salty…”

“Are you saying my magical palate is wrong! Did you think I wouldn’t notice your scheme to raise the magical salinity in my body?!”

Thereupon, the judging magical girl glared fiercely.

“This isn’t serving food, it’s practically a magical assassination attempt.”

Unable to bear this particular criticism, the magical girl began to protest, timidly.

“That seems like a bit of a magical overreaction—!”

“Huh?”

Alas, she’d chosen the wrong opponent.

“Now, am I to interpret this protest as a request for a magical you-beneath-me situation?”

The judge was, unfortunately, a General-ranked magical girl.

An insurmountable difference in rank existed.

In the end, the magical girl hastily bowed her head.

“Ah, no! I’m sorry!”

“Tch.”

The judging magical girl, wearing an unpleasant expression, rinsed her mouth with bottled water and spat.

“Eliminated.”

“…Understood.”

And so, the magical girl who had stepped forward with such bravado became the first to be eliminated, forced to retreat.

Personally, I thought it was too much.

To drive someone that far over a slightly salty soup, was it truly necessary?

Even as a judge, this wasn’t right.

This kind of personal insult was going too far.

Just then, the magical girl who’d received the harsh criticism mumbled with a dejected face.

“Ugh, seriously.”

Perhaps, in her own way, she felt wronged.

It was, after all, merely a minor blunder she’d committed.

“How the hell did that b*tch find out?”

“Uh…”

It was a ‘minor blunder’ of a different kind.

A genuine assassination attempt.

Merely, it had been unsuccessful.

The judging magical girl’s tongue was precise. She had every right to trust her palate and deliver such harsh criticism.

“Senior, why the sudden grimace?”

“…I just didn’t expect there to be eliminations this early.”

At that moment, Les suddenly piped up.

“Hetero, what’s with the jitters? I’m going!”

“Huh? Hey! What’s going on?!”

Her actions were even more abrupt than her words.

Before we could even stop her, Les was at the judging table, submitting her dish. And wouldn’t you know, it was to the very same magical girl who had just delivered such a scathing critique.

“I present my dish.”

It wasn’t even anything special. Just a dish that looked like pre-packaged bibim-myeon, cooked up.

This was clearly an elimination.

“Oh! It’s obviously just bibim-myeon, but it’s wonderfully tart and refreshing. And it’s even more moist than usual.”

“Thank you for the compliment.”

“Especially that unique, zesty flavor—it really serves as the perfect kick.”

Or so I thought.

Contrary to my expectations, the judging magical girl was surprisingly complimentary.

Then, with a smile, she posed a question.

“Is this, perhaps, a special bibim-myeon?”

“Not at all. It’s simply pre-packaged Pal□ Bibim-myeon, prepared in my own way.”

“Wow, really? That’s even more astonishing! I never imagined such a dramatic transformation could be achieved solely through the method of preparation!”

Les’s bibim-myeon must have been exceptionally innovative, because the judging magical girl was practically glowing with admiration.

“Are there any differences in your method? Could it be recreated here?”

“Of course.”

Les nodded readily.

Presently, Les commenced to prepare Pal□ Bibimmyeon in her own, peculiar way.

“Rubbing with the right labia~ Stroking with the left la─”

“Cut it out!”

Not Pal□ Bibimmyeon, but Pal□ Bobimmyeon it was.

Surely, even if it was the same product, a demonstration done in such a manner was bound to taste different.

That it was unusually moist compared to ordinary Bibimmyeon could only be because Les was a water-attribute magical girl.

Especially, the sour and pungent flavour.

That was probably because ‘something’ was mixed in.

‘Something’ that would inevitably get mixed in when prepared like that.

“Didn’t I tell you before? She’s not right in the head.”

“Still, at least she’s not doing a noodle slurping show.”

Of course, the true nature of ‘something’ I did not know. Well, I could guess, but I desperately denied it in my mind.

“I saw her doing in-and-out with her downstairs mouse just now?”

“Keep things like that to yourself, please.”

And yet, that b*stard Whitedog just had to confirm the identity of ‘something.’ I truly wanted to kill him.

To think she’d act like that even at a cooking competition.

And against a general-rank magical girl, at that.

A consistently depraved woman.

Thanks to her, Les was struck directly by the magic fired off in a fit by the judge magical girl and passed out.

Needless to say, she was disqualified.

That they even left her alive was a mercy.

“Hoo.”

It felt like a storm had just passed through, but it wasn’t time to relax yet.

“The dishes will be presented now.”

The magical girls, having finished their cooking, began submitting their dishes one by one.

The official judging was about to begin.