Chapter 386 – Singular Love and Unresolved Longings

A bitter silence permeated the trembling air.

Opening her mouth, weary from the tantalizing stimulation of her ticklish tongue, White Peach found herself unable to swallow the bitterness in her parched throat.

A man lay motionless, as if deceased. His pupils, piercing through the dim light of dawn, were fixed upon White Peach.

“Seventh… disciple?”

Contrary to the atmosphere, the condition of the house appeared neat and tidy.

Dishes washed without delay. Floors and beds immaculately cleaned. Blankets and mats, free of mold, prepared for the reclining woman.

The only element of filth within the pristine room was not an object or a space, but her exhausted disciple, fast asleep.

– Thud!

Suddenly, the small space within the single room turned cold, as though an electronic circuit switch had been flipped.

The space was partitioned between the surrounding homes. Although the front door remained open, the outside world was no longer visible.

“…”

-Jerbuck.

A creature that had hidden itself away. A man who fell asleep with his eyes open, drained from exhaustion. White Peach approached Lee Si-heon with hurried steps and knelt beside him.

Her warm hand touched his cold cheek. The chill sensation caused White Peach’s face to grow even colder. The irises of Si-heon’s eyes began to open at the sense of her presence.

“…White Peach, my teacher?”

Lee Si-heon, who opened his eyes, looked at her.

“You… what’s wrong with your body?”

Stammering, unable to find the right words to say. White Peach, too ashamed to even make eye contact, embraced Lee Si-heon’s neck. Si-heon’s head, which moved weakly, came to rest on White Peach’s chest.

Her hand trembled as she cradled the back of his head. Blood that had flowed from his torn earlobe was horribly entangled in his hair.

“Where have you been and what have you been doing for it to come to this? Why didn’t you tell me…?”

His body was cold. The bewildered White Peach moved her hands here and there, unsure of what to do.

Si-heon gently grasped the hand that reached out across the bed to find a blanket.
Lee Si-heon’s limp head slumped, his gaze brushing over Baekdo’s face.

“…Words to say.”
“……”

Emotions surged out from his cracked, bloodied lips.

“I… I’m in pain.”

His voice was barely a whisper, yet the intense emotion choked the man’s throat. The bowed head of the man and the dampening floor beneath him stirred Baekdo’s heart.

“I’ve tried so hard, but it feels like everything is falling apart.”

Then heed my words.

Why force yourself to bring things to this point? I never wished for it to be this way.

They were aware that Lee Si-heon cherished many people. Yet, understanding such a one-sided feeling was difficult for them, his mentors, who only knew it intellectually.

The life of his student was more important than that of his lover.

If they were to risk their lives for their lover, they, as mentors, had a reason to stop him.

Because he is the successor of the Heavenly Demon?

“So… isn’t this what happens when you only choose to do foolish things?”

It’s not such a clichéd notion.
A little more ticklish… It was due to those indescribable feelings—crooked and twisted, yet impossible to contain within one’s mouth.
An emotion that would remain unnoticed unless someone brings it to light.

The sight of Lee Si-heon, collapsed in her embrace, tightly gripped Baek-do’s heart.
And so, her voice grew louder.

“What’s the reason… huh? If only you had listened to me from the beginning, none of this would have happened. Because you insist on doing things like this…”

She shouted out in frustration.
A tone so choked that even she was surprised. Baek-do didn’t fully comprehend why she was yelling at that moment.

“…your body, isn’t it in shambles?”

It was simply because she felt so stifled.
A voice far too coarse to be expressed in such a manner.

Lee Si-heon’s eyes, seemingly unconscious, were directed towards Baekdo’s face.

“If I don’t do it. Who will save him?”

It was a conversation with no concessions, going in circles.

“Leave one woman behind. Well, yes… you have a daughter, right? Is he really that great? Better than Hwangdo?”

An infuriated Baekdo shouted incoherently, but all that returned were clear droplets of tears.

“Master.”

It was overwhelming.

“Is it really that difficult? To wish that no one dies?”
“…”
“To give up someone, having our arms cut off, and covered in blood… How many times have we died and come back to life?”
“…Si-heon Lee.”

It was a steadfast resolution not to lose anyone.

The past. Do-won.

The acts of shaving one’s bones disguised as training were such brutal battles that even the expression “fighting tooth and nail” couldn’t capture their determination.

It was a feeling no one could understand.

His jaw shattered, and his eyeballs tumbled to the floor.
Heart muscles split apart, and skin seared by fire clung to clothes before being torn away.
In the midst of raw, unanesthetized pain, who was the one he thought of until the agony subsided?
The strength that Lee Si-heon’s vessel could not contain was not achieved through ordinary means.

An obsession that even his lover couldn’t fathom.
An indescribable experience. Who would want to share their painful memories with their beloved?
Lee Si-heon revisited all those with whom he had shared affection, time and time again, from that pivotal moment in his past.

Jung Si-woo’s impression grew stronger, fueled by respect. His attachment to Lee Se-Young deepened.
He embraced Azalea, whom he had once rejected, and even shared a life with her.
As for Cornus, he became attached to her through their brief but meaningful bond.

The kindness he had received became a reason for love, yet it led him astray.

Unrequited love.

Bound by incomprehensible emotions, I desperately sought to rectify them.
Thus, the affliction.
Tae-yang was aware of this.

And as a result of confronting it…

– Tremble.

The man’s hand quivered. Veins lined his pallid face, and his arms and legs flailed as if in a frenzy.
White Peach held Lee Si-heon tightly, as though to quell his thrashing.
So tight that blood could not circulate, bringing pain to his muscles.

“…Did I do something so terrible?”
“No, it’s not… that.”

Two fear-filled eyes darted about, looking past White Peach.

The shadows reflected in his pupils resembled a drawn sword.
The sword-like gestures that slowly carved his own flesh, inducing pain as if slicing sashimi.
He had endured those days using remedies that intensified his agony.

Lee Si-heon could not recall the process of his training.
It felt as if his memories had been severed into fragments.

The revived emotions cried out.

“…I, too, hate feeling pain.”

As if a personality had been switched. Desperately trembling hands. Baekdo, puzzled by the changed tone, lowered her head to gaze upon Lee Si-heon’s face with quivering hands.

“I… I just wanted to live a normal life.”
“Si-heon…?”
“I want to stop witnessing death… I hate suffering…”

Pupils constrict. The elongated corners of the mouth parted, allowing saliva to seep out.

“…Why does everyone involved with me become unhappy?”

Reaching the worst, what will become of a person driven into a dead-end?

The problem lay elsewhere.

“……”

Lee Si-heon’s trembling ceased.
Baekdo’s eyes widened.

“…Ah.”

Calm, sunken eyes. He gently caressed the back of the woman embracing him. At Lee Si-heon’s shocking words that followed, Baekdo experienced an immense, unspeakable stimulation.

“……Master, when did you arrive?”

Suddenly.

The fuse of emotions, once ignited, flared up again.

Just before White Peach’s expression contorted, it seemed too difficult even to express her feelings. Her body transformed. Her white hair became dyed red. Wearing a pained and sorrowful expression, the woman charged in before Lee Si-heon could read her face. Despite the dawn hour, the red-haired woman who had opened her eyes embraced Lee Si-heon.

“…Uh, Master?”

Why are you doing this?

Before he could utter those words, Lee Si-heon’s face was buried in her chest. She pulled him so forcefully that his face sank deeply, as if he would fall and leave a mark in Heaven’s embrace.

“Master… right?”

Tattered clothes tore under her touch. Lee Si-heon looked bewildered, and his expression further tore at Heaven’s heart.

Not long ago, the two who had even argued with each other now embraced one another again.

Though Lee Si-heon was initially surprised, he soon smiled and tenderly stroked Heaven’s back.

“Master, why are you suddenly like this?”
“……”

Breathing was labored. The air was filled with the fragrant scent of peaches from the mingling of sweat and air. Receiving this, Lee Si-heon gently caressed Cheondo’s skin and patted it.

As if he were embracing the Cheondo of long ago.

“What, is it because of my injury right now?”

– Dori Dori.

He shook his head. It was an utterly frustrating sight for Lee Si-heon, who didn’t know the reason. However, the situation soon became clear.

– Tok tok.

He tapped her back and lowered his head. Cheondo’s right ear and Lee Si-heon’s left ear touched, and they shared the sound of their quivering heartbeats.

“It’s not because I’m injured. I’ll be fine soon. I’m just conserving my healing magic.”
“……”
“Why won’t you say anything, Master?”
“…I’m sorry.”

Lee Si-heon’s eyes widened at the words that barely managed to surface.

“Well, I should be the one apologizing. I don’t listen and just do as I please.”

“I wasn’t aware of your situation. Even as a teacher, I didn’t know anything.”
“How can anyone know everything? I don’t even understand why my teacher is acting this way now.”

Cheondo’s face was pale. She, who had tried to uphold her dignity as a teacher, reluctantly sought refuge in Lee Si-heon’s embrace.
No tears fell, but her voice was filled with unmistakable pain.

Lee Si-heon was the first to speak to Cheondo, who had muttered two words and continued to hold him tightly.

“I’m sorry for the harsh words I said last time.”

He wondered if it might be because of that incident, as he carefully spoke.

“I’m sorry for forcing you. I don’t even understand my own feelings. Sometimes, I just get angry.”
“No, it’s not… I didn’t know.”
“Don’t you know that I care about you the most, teacher?”

The true meaning behind Cheondo’s words wasn’t conveyed to Lee Si-heon.
He was unaware of the affliction that Tae-yang had discerned.
And Cheondo, who had barely come to realize it herself, couldn’t bring herself to reveal it to Lee Si-heon.

“…Is anything difficult for you?”

At the words casually uttered,

“Not at all.”

He answered with a smile, leaving me at a loss for words to respond to his expression.

“However, I wish my friend would recover sooner.”

Lee Si-heon gently wrapped his outstretched hand around Cheon-do’s shoulder. The warmth transmitted through the cold body, the blood coursing through the veins gathered in the chest, embracing the heated sensation. Bare skin felt beyond the coarse texture of the stockings.

Cheon-do’s anxious voice reached Lee Si-heon.

“Actually, isn’t it hard for you?”

“Ah… well… Though it’s true that I’m lying, who isn’t struggling these days? But it’s not too much of a burden. Yes. Haha. Living as a criminal makes it feel like I’m playing a game, I guess.”

He slid his fingers through his disheveled hair, straightening it. For some reason, Cheon-do felt a ticklish sensation from the touch of his hand stroking her head.

A sensation I had experienced somewhere before, and for some reason, it felt incredibly nostalgic.

“Please wait a little longer. Don’t take any risks.”
“…”
“I beg you. The World Tree’s target should not be me, but my master. The recent movements of the World Tree have been quite dangerous, after all.”
“You—”
“Just a moment. Well, that’s it.”

Lee Si-heon broke free from Heaven’s embrace, and this time, he hugged her head and gently rested his face on her crown.

“I really like you, Master. So much so that I wish you were in no danger whatsoever.”

Their cheeks touched. Underneath the ticklish sensation near his ear, Lee Si-heon’s hand firmly embraced Heaven’s neck.

He consoled her grief-stricken face.

“I’m saying this to all three of you.”

– Thump, thump.

A trembling heart. White Peach, who had heard it all, did not respond.

“I’ll grow quickly, become stronger. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

In those reassuring words, there was a trace of pain.

Lee Si-heon was spent. His broad shoulders and intricate muscles. When touched, they brought a wave of ecstasy.

Yet, the voice he had heard moments ago, the one that had been shattered once, continued to echo in his mind, preventing Cheondo from ultimately nodding in agreement.

“We need to recover your body.”

“…!”

Perhaps this was the foolishness Baekdo had mentioned. That thought crossed Cheondo’s mind as she recalled those words.

“No matter what happens, I’ll find a way to overcome it. After all, I am your disciple.”

Despite that, she despised herself for not being able to say anything more to him.

“I’m sorry. I’m such a foolish person.”