Chapter 535 – Love Unattained

Joy descends upon the conclusion of hardship.

Perhaps not apt for this situation, but my stifling restlessness was swept away, all thanks to my adorable little Bam cat. Research suggests that sex significantly ameliorates stress.

I wouldn’t have known, having only been with trees before.

‘90% of the sexual encounters I’ve had were with anonymous trees, leaving me no choice but to withdraw my desires, no matter how insatiable they remain.’

I tilted my head to the left.

“Uhm…”

Post our passionate lovemaking, Marronnier rested on my arm, drifting into slumber. She, who had unexpectedly nestled into my embrace, murmured in a breathy whisper.

“I love Mon Cheri…”

Her throat strained from her whimpering. Eventually, all that was left was the sound of air escaping. Perhaps I was a bit excessive in my exploration of her derrière.

I chuckled, studying each adorable feature on Marronnier’s face. She’s beautiful, no matter when I look, even excessively so for me.

Marronnier, France’s treasure. The speculated number of her fans alone surpasses 80 million, outdoing the population of her own country. Her popularity is evident merely from the national introduction section on TubeMok – the views gathered by the video featuring Marronnier’s face is a staggering one billion. Being in a relationship with such a celebrated figure, I can’t help but count my blessings.

‘Is that all?’

I hardly provide proper care, and the love I offer is almost unilateral.

The feeling is akin to watching a stray feline rubbing its head against my leg, out of nowhere. There’s no cat quite like this kitten.

The alias that made headlines is “The Little Sage”. It seems fitting, considering her larger-than-usual dress and her staff as tall as herself. A photograph of her eating bread would fetch the journalist a considerable reward.

Nonetheless, as I caress Marronnier’s soft cheeks, I contemplate.

‘What now?’

I have to leave Eden again tomorrow. I need to resolve my estranged relationship with Alba and handle my contract with the Queen. The priority seems to be … Alba, after all. Despite her incredibility, the memory of those warm three years inexplicably shackles me.

– Gentle now.

“Uhm, uhm. Mon Cheri?”
“Oh, you’re awake?”
“Yes… Anyone would awaken with such a touch.”

Marronnier didn’t repel my hand exploring her breast but leaned into me instead. Her face still clouded with sleep, her eyes brimming with affection.

Deciding this was the moment, I resolved to ask the questions that had been gnawing at me.

“Marronnier. Is life here bearable?”
“Yes.”
“Even without me?”
“Does Mon Cheri despise me?”
“Impossible.”
“Then it’s fine because I believe you’ll always be there once my work is done.”

Trust. An element absent between the former sage and myself.

What a relief it would be if I could share such trust with Alba.

‘But then, this.’

Contemplating, I appear to be the despicable husband who discarded his wife and indulged in infidelity, don’t I? The image does strike as bizarre.

“My darling is a kind-hearted man.”

“Foolish? He could afford to be more extravagant.”

“…That’s not true. If my darling weren’t so preoccupied, I would have claimed him all for myself.”

“Oh really? Do tell?”

“I detest you.”

“Chuckles. Well, it’s good that you’re getting by. What about Sephirot?”

Pondering over Sephirot. Perhaps Marronnier’s thoughts would be more accurate than mine.

Marronnier, who had been rubbing her eyes, pursed her lips and replied.

“I…I’m not sure about Sephirot.”

“Is that so?”

“I can’t tell how she appears to my darling… But, she’s not unpleasant.”

It’s not objectionable. What expression would be fitting?

“She’s innocent.”

“Mm-hmm.”

An entity that doesn’t distinguish between good and evil often tends to be perceived as evil. After all, they usually exclude the thoughts of others due to their self-centered thinking.

“Yet, my darling, Sephirot does exist. I believe she can be educated.”

“The World Tree of Knowledge?”

“She’s but a child. You’ll notice subtle changes when you chastise her. The sage of the former generation advised us to guide her well.”

Teaching ethics to the World Tree of Knowledge. I wonder if the sage was not an entity that could curb Sephirot’s selfishness. Marronnier seems to possess a talent for nurturing. Perhaps that caught someone’s attention.

“Blanche, if Sephirot were to commit a grave error. And if I were to decide how to handle it… What do you think?”

There was a certain gravitas embedded in the question. Marronnier, as if fully roused from sleep, clenched her eyes shut and tightened the hold of her hand around my abdomen.

“…I would understand.”

Marronnier is one with a deep sense of attachment.

“I would feel…somewhat saddened.”

I presumed she would respond thus. And my prediction was accurate.

“I see.”

I responded briefly and pulled Marronnier into an embrace. Her petite figure nestled within my arms, a comforting scent wafting from her. Marronnier whispered into my chest.

“These days, the world outside is quite uproarious, isn’t it? My darling must be faced with numerous decisions?”

“Indeed.”

Even now, I stand at a crossroads. To entirely forsake Alba, or to somehow try and accommodate her.

There are many concerns, yet I have not arrived at a conclusion.

“I can’t say much in haste, but if things get tough, you should come to me more often.”

“Why?”

“…To take respite in my arms.”

Such a peculiar thought. Marronnier’s cheek pressed firmly against my shoulder.

“Find rest in this small body?”

Marronnier often struggles to encircle my chest in her embrace due to her short arms. It’s Blanche who can’t even hold me properly.

“Really…”

At my jest, Marronnier wore a playfully annoyed expression.

“It’s a jest.”

Her presence within me is larger than her tiny form. It was the same for the others. When I hold her, I find myself smiling inadvertently.

“Come here, Bam.”

“A kiss?”
“I’ll give you one. Let’s sleep.”

Wholeheartedly, she pulls Marronnier into an embrace.
In the threshold of sleep, they whisper words of love,
sharing their warmth in the silent night.

She gathers the strength to confront Alba.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Among all the lovers who had known Lee Si-heon, Alba was undeniably the one who had spent the most time with him.

Two years ago.
When he was worn out and only one woman remained to console him.
This is the story of the memories they built together, when only a sage remained by his side.

“Don’t rush… Take your time.”

Her lower belly burns, eyes ablaze, gasping breaths, a twitching nose, beads of sweat falling.
An intoxicating night, the animalistic panting echoing in her ears.

“I will take all of you, so don’t feel lonely, okay?”
“…”

A man who appears lonely, and a woman who will replace his lover to alleviate that loneliness.
The silhouettes stirring behind the pure white curtains are sharing a love that any bystander would recognize as a couple’s.

“Ah!”

When his seed lavishly paints her buttocks.
The warm stickiness felt through the thin veil of skin was an addictive sensation she craved every time.

“…”

Relieving the pent-up sexual desire of Lee Si-heon, who frequented the dungeon once a week, was her task.
Even when her body was used like a tool, the sage did not resent Lee Si-heon.

This was the fulfillment of sexual desire but also a part of therapy.
At that time, Lee Si-heon was as quiet as a man on his deathbed.
There were times when he stared at a point in the distance with longing in his eyes, and times when he depended on medicine to cope with guilt.
Treating Lee Si-heon and his mentor was completely Alba’s responsibility.

“Did you enjoy it?”

Stroking the rough hair of the man who fell asleep on her chest,
It was a summer from two years ago.
The warm air in the room and his sticky sweat did not feel unpleasant at all.

“No way… Are you asleep?”

Lee Si-heon was often so exhausted that he would fall asleep immediately after their love-making.

If Alba had sincerely tried to win him over then, she might have been able to pull him away from his lovers, who were suffering from their separation from him.
Psychiatrists strictly forbid romances with patients because they can manipulate the patient’s psychology.

“…”

Alba could have done just that.
To say she didn’t have any desire would have been a lie.

A human’s weakness is emotion. No matter how elevated a person may be, they often succumb to a trivial emotion.
However, Lee Si-heon’s ego, which had to grapple with the benevolence of the king, had to become stronger. Only then could her plan come to fruition.

‘…If it were the original way.’

She might not have considered Lee Si-heon’s life, but…

Her heart had already swelled to the brim. The fate of the sage radically shifted from the moment of Wiki’s birth.

“Sage.”

“Yes.”

“Why do you love me?”

Among all the sages throughout the generations, Alba was the tenderest and most vulnerable.

“…I won’t share that.”

A few words spoken during a gathering over drinks had stirred within her the depth of a first love. She still remembers the full conversation.

“Do you not trust me, Si-heon?”
“Is that some kind of joke? Of course, I don’t trust you.”

Lee Si-heon, a character encapsulated by his three-character name. A fleeting warmth, glimpsed within his damaged character.

“Still… I hope you’re a good person. That’s what I want to believe.”

She wants to believe. His words, directed at the sage who suppresses her emotions.

“A sage can save so many people. I often contemplate that. Honor, power, knowledge, wealth… How many of the impoverished and disaster-stricken can be rescued?”

The mindset befitting a king of an era.

“I truly envy you.”

A faint echo lingered in her cold heart. Such a man exists in this world.

She understood why he possessed the qualities of King Mokryeong. The sage wished that Lee Si-heon would not crumble like the kings of past generations.

As a sage, she was genuinely devising a plan to save many lives. Her ‘plan’ was also intended to end all the ongoing wars.

“I want to believe.”

Even if that meant being overlooked by Lee Si-heon.

“…you.”

Alba kept vigil every night when Lee Si-heon came to visit. Gazing intently at him as he slumbered, she repeated gestures of deep affection.

Their relationship was inevitably headed towards estrangement. She intended to amass joyful memories. Her plans always held steady. Receiving Lee Si-heon’s undeserved love was also a part of her personal agenda.

“I’m sorry. This is all I can offer.”

The power of the Sephirot system was overwhelming, the presence of the origin could consume all.

Alba held Lee Si-heon tightly in her arms. So strongly, as if to crush her own heart, so that this man would never forget her warmth.

“I love you. You.”

Words repeated to a sleeping man. Over and over, she never stopped.

Just as every sage in the world had done, she too would not be able to fully realize her love.

The unfulfilled love symbolized by her family’s emblem, the mulberry tree—passed down through generations of ‘sages’—wasn’t merely due to a common folk tale. Yet Alba was better off, because she could bear his child.

“I love you, I love you.”

With a soft sigh.

The sage, secretly expressing her heart. Immediately following the echo of her voice, Lee Si-heon’s sleeping eyelids briefly fluttered.

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– *Thump.*

Could it be that Lee Si-heon had come to visit his mentor once again today?

Alba hastily employed her magic to tidy up her appearance. A mere five seconds to don her most attractive guise. Distance was inevitable, yet… surely it wasn’t a sin to catch a glimpse of his visage, even if just once.

“*Sigh*”

After a long sigh, the moment her hand reached towards the doorknob…

– *Thump.*

Lee Si-heon had opened Alba’s door.

“Ah…”

A startled sage. Was his purpose for visiting her this time?

Various theories flitted through her mind. Analysis, now a habit, wondered if today was the day for a final decision. Lee Si-heon’s gaze was intensely earnest.

Lee Si-heon was an entity capable of derailing plans. No matter how much she loved him, she couldn’t reveal everything. A shadow fell across the sage’s face.

“Good morning… um. What brings you here?”

Her stuttering words were laced with guilt and sorrow. Lee Si-heon might think it was an act, but it was genuine.

“I have something to report.”

“Pardon?”

Lee Si-heon squeezed his way between the sage and the door, then casually stated, as if making an announcement,

“I’ve met with Sephirot.”

– *Chill.*

A trembling shoulder.

The implication of Sephirot approaching Lee Si-heon at this time… The sage, quickly comprehending the gravity of the situation, roughly seized Lee Si-heon’s arm as he moved towards the bed.

– *Clap.*

“No… that’s not allowed.”

For the first time, the sage’s eyes trembled with anguish.