Chapter 647 – Freedom and Rest (4)

A mother-daughter relationship, hopelessly entangled no matter how it’s twisted. Despite being despised by a child, I am the wretch doomed to die, receiving blind love again and again.

“…So.”
“So what?”
“What can be done? There must be a plan you’ve thought about. If it’s you, sister.”

Alba, who had been slowly savoring gummy bear candies, responded with a smile. The way she grinned, as if savoring the candy, was unexpectedly endearing for her age.

“Why don’t you ponder on it alone sometimes? You.”
“…….”

Alba is a woman who enjoys blocking the other’s words, relishing her position of superiority. Perhaps her attitude seems more obnoxious today due to some past incident that left a bitter taste.

“…Sister. Stop teasing Si-heon.”
“Should I?”

Only then did Alba, who smiled at Azalea’s words, turn to Shiba. Shiba, engrossed with her cookies, was oblivious to our conversation.

“It’s about providing faith.”
“Faith?”
“Assurance that even if she returns to her original form, she can still be loved.”

What is this assurance of being loved? Alba continued to explain.

“Have you ever had this thought? Wanting to return to your childhood. There were no worries then.”
“…Perhaps.”

My childhood was a period filled with deceit from my father. I didn’t particularly yearn to return to it.

I turned my gaze towards Azalea.

“Uh-huh.”

Azalea felt the same way. In fact, her circumstances were even worse than mine. After her father’s death, her mother moved on to another man. It was a time when she was consumed by a desperate desire for revenge.

Alba uncomfortably shifted the subject, sipping her black coffee.

“……I forgot that the two of you didn’t have a normal childhood. Regardless, Shiba is essentially dreaming right now.”
“Dream?”
“Yes, a dream. Shiba doesn’t want to awaken from the enchanting dream she’s experiencing. She wishes to remain a child, bound to her father for all her life. She fears that as she grows, she will be separated from her father. This unresolved sentiment is still entrenched in her. Do you understand?”

I understand.
As I nodded, Alba flashed a knowing smile.

“Trees. They are more delicate than you think, and have excellent memory. The same goes for wooden beings.”
“…….”
“Especially in childhood, wounds don’t heal quickly, lingering for a long while. The faster the growth period, the longer that brief time feels.”

Shiba, who had grown faster than anyone else by ingesting a tree ring.

Shiba must have perceived the time spent with me as much longer. The time she spent apart from me would feel much more distant.

Even though the latter period was undoubtedly longer…
Did Shiba still cherish the time she spent with me?

“…Shiba.”
“Beep? Bba? Why?”

Shiba locked eyes with me, her smile radiant as she tugged on my elbow with her small hand.

“Shiba wants a hug. Beep!”

Alba and Azalea scrutinized me, their gaze sly, as if to say: ‘See?’

Shiba, who professed her love so unilaterally and unburdened by any worry, was unbearably endearing.

“Siheon. Shiba here. She’s been waiting for you, a long time.”
“…….”
“Even when she had forgotten you, she would sneak off at dawn… and seemed to seek you more than me. All the while, never uttering a word about her mother.”

Azalea muttered, a bitter edge to her voice, even as her face glowed with pride, her chin lifted high, at the sight of the lovable Shiba.

“…I waited for you just as much. But first, I think it’s crucial we recover Shiba’s memories.”

So, that was it.
She was imploring me to lend Shiba my reassurance and trust.

But could I, who had run away so many times, truly offer trust?

I love but I do not trust.
It’s not that I doubt love. It’s more a caution against growing distant because of love. After all, I’ve chosen distance time and time again.

‘Perhaps.’

The one who needs to be trusted,
Is not just Shiba, but everyone here.

While Shiba alone has undergone a clear transformation, I suspect the others harbor doubts as well. They must be aware that I could, at any moment, conceal my identity and make a run for it.

“You seem deep in thought. You?”
“…….”
“It appears that talking to your mentor has been beneficial. It’s a relief to see your mental health improving.”
“…Conversation.”
“Yes, indeed… a conversation with your mentor. It must have been helpful to you, right?”

-Startled-

Azalea’s face, which had been contentedly following the conversation, suddenly changed. With whom else had I shared these intimate moments?

“……It, it doesn’t matter. If two people are in love, such things can happen.”

For such a statement, her face betrays a lot of concern. I will have to have a heart-to-heart conversation with Azalea later.

In any case, I need to assure Shiba.

“Beep!”

My little sprout.
Always green and adorable.

My hand tenderly ruffled the top of Shiba’s head.

“My daughter.”
“It’s ticklish, Daddy.”
“Should we live happily together?”
“Shiba is happy.”

Her laughter, radiant like the sea bug, showed no signs of fading. Alba and Azalea, despite their slight jealousy, softened their gazes upon seeing Shiba.

“…….”

Is it my imagination, or does my left thigh ache slightly?

The touch of Wiki’s hand around my shoulder, for some reason, felt cold.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Departing after entrusting two children to Lee Si-heon,

Azalea queried in a timid voice,

“…Will this truly suffice?”

“Indeed.”

The ultimate objective of this vacation: to rejuvenate Si-heon’s psyche to its utmost state.

Shiba’s recuperation was significant, but paramount was Si-heon.

In this world, he wielded the greatest influence; he could no longer be subjected to such stress.

“Despite someone’s virtues, I’ve observed many succumbing to their twisted libido. No one is flawless, and he is no exception.”

Rationally assessed, Si-heon’s morality was entirely absent.

A choice he made for himself, and presently, Si-heon was considerably fatigued.

“The man I’ve seen… has painfully weathered many hardships over three years. Perhaps even more than the year he spent with Miss Dallae.”

Nearly losing a lover, being targeted by the World Tree or the Flower, witnessing his mentor’s demise before his eyes – that was Si-heon’s year.

However, considering the degree of mental trauma,
Si-heon’s breakdown has accelerated recently.

“It’s unavoidable. Though somewhat removed from normalcy, he remains a common man.”

“……”

“There must be a limit to self-justification, consoling oneself for someone else, and suppressing stress thusly. The moment he relinquishes guilt… he crumbles even faster.”

In Alba’s view, Si-heon of then was still perceptible.

Dallae, Se-young, and Heaven could not fathom the sight of his ravaged countenance.

Just a few months prior, Si-heon was a noble. Naturally, he had started recovering his reason, bit by bit, with Alba’s persuasion and Wiki’s love.

“…Is it that severe?”

“There wasn’t even time to consider someone else. I wager he won’t remember parts of it. Even if he’s transcended his boundaries… the brain strives to solve problems in the most comfortable manner possible.”

For him, women and murder remain tools.

Alba’s efforts to rehabilitate him had merely begun.

“It would’ve been a disaster without Wiki.”

“…Wiki, that child. Extremely adorable. But her jealousy… seems a little, no, considerably high. Is that alright?”

To Dallae’s question, Alba chuckled.

“It’s fine.”

Wiki, the rival of the Sephirot, and the child who supplemented Si-heon’s psyche.

“Could it be fine?”

In this context, supplementing Si-heon’s psyche signifies

Essentially ‘replacing’ Shiba’s role. The moment Alba’s intention harbors a purpose… a child becomes a means.

“…That, too, is an issue for him and me to resolve.”

Alba seemed genuinely remorseful. She sighed, furrowing her brows.

As the fair-skinned woman, growing more beautiful the more she was contemplated, stroked her cheek, Azalea, captivated by her beauty, paused momentarily.

She halted, entranced by her appearance. A thought brushed past Dallae’s mind.

And yet…

Could it be this was Alba’s intention all along?

“…Did you send Wiki along knowing she’d be jealous?”

Alba merely offered a faintly displeased smile, neither confirming nor refuting the insinuation.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

How could I possibly earn Shiba’s trust?

─Perhaps you should try spending as much time together as possible, just like you normally would.

The suggestion of ‘as usual’ didn’t quite resonate, truth be told.

I found myself lost in thought, gazing at the two mounds cradled in my arms.

– Squirming.

Their hands clashed atop my chest. The two of them engaged in a power struggle.

“Ugh…! Wiki…!!”
“Hmph. Urgh!”

With a hint of pride, I considered my ample chest more than sufficient to accommodate the two.

It might not have matched the softness of a mother’s bosom, but it was surely as expansive as a broad, flat plain. The argument between Shiba and Wiki left me utterly bewildered.

“Wiki! Move! This is Shiba’s spot!”
“I refuse…!”

At the center of my chest, Wiki, having advanced eastward across the 38th rib, used her deft hands to push Shiba.

It was a sudden assault, sending Shiba into retreat. In this surprise conflict that had begun at bedtime, the skillful Wiki managed to push Shiba all the way to the eastern frontier at my armpit.

Shiba, forced to retreat, resisted tearfully before casting a surreptitious glance my way.

“Dad, Wiki is tormenting me!”

Sigh.

“Wiki.”
“Dad…”
“You can’t win by acting cute.”

In this dramatic invasion, Shiba gradually reclaimed her territory, and in turn, began to prod at Wiki.

“Ha! Wiki, out of the way!”
“…Hmph.”

Now it was Wiki’s turn to whimper. Fueled by my encouragement, Shiba pushed back with renewed vigor, this time toward the left.

Neither would concede. Wiki, who had weathered Shiba’s relentless onslaught all the way to the northern border, was brimming with resentment and began to fight back.

“…Shiba.”
“Huh?”
“Both of you, stop. Get off.”

“Whaaat!”
“Ah!”

Cries of protest erupted from their lips. Shiba and Wiki, having descended from my chest, rushed over and each clung to one of my legs, shooting murderous looks at each other.

“Wiki is a hog!”
“…But you were clinging to him all by yourself earlier!”
“That’s not the point!”
“You were for 1 hour, 26 minutes, and 52 seconds! I was only for 43 minutes and 21 seconds! So it’s only fair that I cling more now!!”
“An hour, an hour… twenty… six? Shiba doesn’t understand that!”

Wiki, rendered speechless, pursed her lips and stared at me. Shiba, however, sent me a gaze full of affection.

“…Father, I implore you, can we not find a compromise?”

Wiki, who can recite even seconds and argue logically, strikes fear into me, even in thought.

‘Have I provided less love?’

That sentiment rings true a hundred times over. It is troublesome to quarrel now, as I stand determined to bestow love.

Shiba and Wiki desire my undivided attention.
The dilemma is, should I do so…. a child would inevitably be neglected.

‘Absolutely not.’

The pleasure of an hour is less significant than the loneliness of the same duration. Children, especially, are sensitive to such matters. Regardless of how thoroughly I explain the circumstances and attempt to divide my time equally, I wish for my children to not experience even a moment of solitude.

But how to achieve this?

At the very least, I can rectify the situation with a hug.

“Shiba, Wiki.”
“”Yes!””
“Observe closely.”

From the drawer, I retrieve a marker and draw a line precisely in the middle.

The perfect military demarcation line.

“When we embrace, we must agree not to cross this line. The same applies when we lie in bed. Understood?”

Shiba and Wiki, slightly discontent, reluctantly retreat, as if conceding there’s nothing to be gained from protest.

Our two children, heads nodding in agreement, seem instinctively to understand that, if things continue as they are, it will be a losing battle.

“Very well, let us rest for tonight. Tomorrow, we will discuss what to do.”

I believe this to be a satisfactory resolution.
The next children… I decide it would be best to plan after Shiba and Wiki have matured.

“Now, let us sleep! Understood?”
“Beep!”
“Yes!”

The bear pajamas and the wooden pajamas burrow into my chest, seeking sleep.

I believe I have devised a satisfactory strategy.

– Thump.

Yet, could this also be a flawless strategy?

– Thump!

“…Cease this, Wiki.”
“…It’s not me.”
“If not Wiki, then who is it!”

A truce is nothing more than a fleeting peace.
Wiki and Shiba are still embroiled in war.

– Thud!!

Someday, I will claim that land, even the other side of my father’s embrace. The round cotton balls are gathered, a provocation cast against the South. Upon the sudden descent of the shell, Shiba growls, her sleep abruptly disturbed.

“See….”
“Humph.”

Oh.
Please.

“…….”

My children, they adore me far too much.