Chapter 650 – Fatherhood

Children perennially strive for the attention of their parents.

A time when the attention of your parents is the highest honor you could receive.

It was the same in my childhood. From class leader, to school president, the Good Child Award, the International Toddler Olympiad, and more. There wasn’t an endeavor I hadn’t undertaken for my father’s commendation.

‘At this age, parents are everything.’

That’s something I have come to understand.

One needs to aspire to be as glorious as their father. If you were to ask if my father was indeed great, my current perspective might refute that. Regardless, my childhood dreams, in some sense, may have been realized.
In the context of medieval or ancient philosophies, I am a celestial king who, in one way or another, has accomplished sacred feats.

‘However.’

Wiki’s actions have crossed certain boundaries.
Is her quest for her father’s attention slowly veering towards self-destruction?
I might be able to tell if it improves with age, but with my limited parenting experience, I could not anticipate the unexpected turns this situation might take.

– Knock, knock.

Once again, the door swings open unexpectedly today.

“Daddy, you know what?”

A small, fresh wound is visible on the instep of Wiki’s foot as she cautiously approaches me.

Two days ago, it was her knee. Yesterday, her shin. Today, it’s her instep.
Wiki, grimacing slightly in pain, enters the room with a barely concealed excitement in her stride.

What takes the cake is her attire – a skirt, not her teddy bear’s pajamas, so her injury is more visible.
With her socks reminiscent of a foot wrap in hand, Wiki speaks in an almost tearful tone.

“I…I’ve hurt myself.”

What had she been doing this time?

The inscrutable IQ of Wiki, the self-justification begins.

“I was closing the bathroom door and got scratched by the gap. It hurts so much. Kiss it better.”

From her outward appearance and her whimpering voice, she exudes an irresistible need for protection.
Paternal affection flares up to the point where I feel a compulsion to smash the bathroom wall.

‘Let’s calm down.’

I’ve heard other parents quickly note the cunning of their children.
It’s not an empty phrase, and I suspect that Wiki could lift my wallet, and I’d be none the wiser for a lifetime.

She’s too intelligent.
If she hadn’t repeatedly hurt herself so overtly, I would never have caught on.

‘Conversely, it’s true that Wiki is weak to her desires. I think I understand why Alba tries to suppress those desires.’

It’s too frequent and too blatant to be a calculated attempt to trick me.

No matter how clever Wiki is, if there’s a sweet reward in front of her, she can become careless.

“Daddy, quick. Can’t you kiss it better?”
“Yes, my darling daughter – hush.”

No.
I almost succumbed to her persuasion.

I immediately stoop down to align my eyes with Wiki’s. I lightly tap on Wiki’s injury.

The instep, right beside the slightly inflamed peachy bone.

Stroking the area where the shell had fallen away, he summoned his magic.

“…Father?”

There was a note of confusion in Wiki’s voice. As the daughter of a sage, she was not ignorant to the act of discharging magical power with intentions far removed from healing.

-Swish-

He sought traces of magic by pressing against her flesh. With much effort, having delved deep into numerous trials to hone his senses, he barely found the remnants of magic that Wiki had concealed with all her might.

The wound was inflicted by design.

“Wiki.”
“…Yes.”

Was it a silent acknowledgment of her unveiled secret? Wiki chose to calmly accept it, rather than hastily fabricating excuses.

“Did you inflict this wound intentionally?”

Wiki, whose hand was anxiously writhing, took a step closer and encircled my face with her arms.

“Would…would you not heal it?”

She was pressing further. What’s cute is cute, and what’s not is not – it needed to be spoken outright.

“Wiki. What isn’t, isn’t.”

As I asserted in a slightly stern voice, Wiki recoiled from me. Perhaps she had not anticipated such forceful words; her surprised eyes were as round as a deer’s.

A blatant transgression that no amount of justification could gloss over. It is an absolute sin to try to satiate personal desires through such a misguided approach.

“Ah, Father.”

After a brief sigh, I lightly stroked Wiki’s wound, healing it.

Wiki glanced at me, tapping her index fingers together. I sat back on the bed, hiding my face in my hands, lost in deep contemplation.

‘How should I put this.’

While it’s true that her actions must be curbed, if guidance is given wrongly, it could lead to other undesirable outcomes. Especially such self-destructive behaviour, it needed to be eradicated from the outset.

Is it due to my lack of attention? Honestly, I’ve been trying to give as much love as I can lately. Wiki always hopes for more. Honestly, I didn’t anticipate the extent of her desires.

“Phew…”

As I sighed, a desperate Wiki approached and clung to my leg.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, Father.”
“Why did you do it?”
“Because… I loved when you healed me so much.”

I understand.

I too was once a child. It’s a childish notion, but there were certainly times when I desired greater friendship or affection through self-sacrifice.

This was the case with Dallae during my academy days. Even then, I was an adult.

‘Well, it feels different when the roles are reversed.’

Looking from a different perspective, I realize how immature I was.

They say immature men gradually change when they become parents. Although it’s not for me to say, I do understand it a bit.

“…”

I am aware of my duties as a father.

I need to give more love, and accept my child without any doubt.

“I’m sorry, Dad.”

It was my fault that Wiki had become so obsessed.

My heart ached, and guilt washed over me.

The anxiety that perhaps my neglect had induced this course of action amplified.
Even a somewhat ragged voice escaped.

Could love have been so intense to provoke such actions?
Simply observing the child displaying her self-inflicted wounds felt as if nails were being driven into my heart.

I am sorry, child.

At my weakened utterance, the corner of Wiki’s lips, who had been quietly listening, began trembling.

– Startled.

Wiki’s body language made me question my own sight.
Her round, large, bear-like eyes were inexplicably brimming with ecstasy.
Her fists clenched tightly, and the guilt-ridden gaze that was cast upon me seemed to indicate she found pleasure in something.

Alba, who takes slight joy in seizing and controlling others.
The moment her old, harmful habit was exposed to Wiki.

I perceived a momentary distortion in my child.

Wiki would embrace and love any aspect I presented.
The moment I faltered in being a good father, she demonstrated the resolve to hold me close, even if it meant exerting control over me.

I realized I needed to correct it immediately.
In a flash, my eyes hardened.

“Wiki, kneel there.”

I resolved to take out the cane.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Is corporal punishment abuse?
It’s a topic rife with controversy, and many experts have often dismissed academic pursuits when discipline is mixed with violence.

‘However.’

While it’s a highly personal opinion, I firmly believe that correction in response to crossing boundaries is necessary.

“…Alright.”
“Wiki.”

I had promised never to resort to authoritative behavior, even if it was due to guilt.

Why had that resolve faltered?
I feared that if I erred, it might be impossible to reverse the damage.

Alba’s approach to child discipline.
Wiki’s excessive jealousy, her affection for her father.

It hurts to betray a child’s emotions, but… this is not right.

– Thud.

A single tear slipped from Wiki’s eyes.
It felt as if my heart was being lacerated, piece by piece.

Only three strikes. Merely tapped with a long rod, yet the response was heartrending.
Wiki, who had quickly become vulnerable, perhaps unaware that she would be struck by her beloved, was now on the verge of tears.

“Heh… I won’t…”
“What was it like for Wiki when her father was hurt?”
“It hurt… Please, don’t hate me. Father.”

Empathy.
It was the same reaction as Shiba’s.

Kneeling with her reddened palms raised to the sky. Wiki sobbed, and I exhaled a sigh at the sight of her.
Wiki’s body shuddered at the sound of my sigh.
She had apparently never imagined that I would resort to corporal punishment.

Until now, Wiki had the impression that mothers were stern, and fathers were tender. Perhaps, she believed she could overstep boundaries with her father.

Could Wiki be overstepping with me?
It’s possible.
But it mustn’t escalate into self-harm.

“…Lower your hand. Come here.”
“Heuuh, Dad….”

When I soften my expression, Wiki, perceptive as always, rushes into my embrace.

“I’m sorry….”
“Never repeat this behavior. Understood?”
“Yes, yess. I won’t. Sob.”

I too was taken aback.
More so when my suspicions solidified into certitude.

When Wiki mirrored Alba’s devious demeanor that I had guarded against… I even felt a hint of tension.

As I gently massaged Wiki’s hurting hand to comfort her, the door opened from outside.

“Beep.”

It’s Shiba.
She must’ve been quite startled hearing the sudden sobs.

“Papa, is Wiki crying…?”
“It seems so.”

Tears are brimming in Shiba’s eyes as she cautiously asks.
You can’t underestimate a child’s empathy, especially a girl’s.
Seeing others cry brings tears to her eyes; perhaps it’s an instinct even Shiba can’t resist.

“Wiki, stop crying.”

The guilt feels doubled.
I hope for such an incident never to repeat.

Shiba approached me with her arms wide open. Recognizing her silent plea for comfort, I picked Shiba up, who snuggled into me and cautiously gazed at Wiki’s face.

“Wiki….”

Shiba reached out, gently caressing Wiki’s head.

Perhaps acting as an older sister these past few days has solidified her sense of responsibility.

“You have your sister. Don’t cry. Beep….”
“Sob, sob.”

Even if Wiki didn’t hear it, the words brought a sense of pride.

‘Was there a need to explicitly mention Wiki’s mistake?’

Shiba looked up at me and asked.

“Why is Wiki crying?”
“Daddy made a mistake.”
“Papa did? Uhuh…. Let’s get along well, Papa.”

Shiba’s wise words evoked a smile.

“Yes, we should.”

Who would wish to live in a discordant family?
I stroked Shiba for a while, then realizing that Wiki and I had sweated profusely, I asked casually,

“Shall we bathe?”
“Beep? I’d love that.”

Wiki also gave a feeble nod of agreement.

* * * * * * * * * *

-Splash.

A bathtub spacious enough to accommodate an adult and two children.

Having entered first and waited, Shiba, with a bottle of shampoo in her hand, was curiously fiddling with Wiki’s hair.

“Wiki, stay still!”
“…I prefer Dad doing it.”

Cry as she might, she still seeks me. The weighty and cherished love of a child brought forth a hollow laugh.

“Baaa, Wiki has two hairs!”
“Shiba, correct your words. It’s not two hairs, it’s two colors of hair.”

Two strands of hair equate to baldness, baldness.
Whether or not one resorts to hair loss treatments, it is a difficult condition to counteract.

“Is it peculiar?”
“Peculiar indeed!”

The elder sister, with a smile on her face, washing the younger one’s hair.
The burgeoning affection for the younger sibling is nothing but endearing.

Shiba washed Wiki’s hair with the shampoo that was lathered in her hand.

“…Has her silver hair increased?”

It’s not due to stress, but likely due to Alba’s darker hair color being more dominant in her genes.
Regardless of which side of Wiki it is, she thought, it is adorable.

Black bears and polar bears.
If asked which one is preferred, the polar bear tends to be more popular.
Wiki calling for cola again would drive one to distraction.

“Paaa!”
“Daddy…!”

With slightly swollen eyes, Wiki and Shiba moan as they climb into the bathtub.

The softness of the child’s skin collides, and a feeling of happiness floods in when they nestle in one’s arms.
Our children were the most adorable and beautiful in the world.

-Splash.

“Hmm…! It’s warm.”

Shiba is splashing and giggling in the water, Wiki is nestled against my chest.
As the toy duckling quacks on the undulating water and the baby bear toy floats up, Wiki’s eyes are drawn in that direction.

“Ahh….”

Fatigue is swept away.

Would it be amiss to rent an entire swimming pool for our lovers and children at some point?

‘How long has it been since I’ve had such thoughts?’

After nearly a month completely disconnected from the outside world, these mundane thoughts began to fill my mind.

Would bringing this up to Se-young earn me a scolding?
Perhaps it would be good to seek the aid of Star, Hongyeon, or Marronnier.

-Splash, splash.

“Hee hee hee~!”
“Sister, stop splashing water… Enough.”
“Wiki~! Catch! Beep!!”
“Ugh.”

It’s restorative just witnessing it.
Why seek out narcotics? Bathing with my child is the ultimate pleasure.

I fetched the thinly iced drinks I had sneakily brought and placed them out of the water’s reach.

“It’s good to do this again when mom isn’t around.”
“Beep?”
“What?”

Drinking banana milk while bathing.
It’s Wiki’s favorite flavored milk!

“Huha!”
“Beep!!!”

Children who are causing a ruckus with their eyes wide open and arms flailing.
I handed one each to Shiba and Wiki, and I too opened the lid of the banana milk and gulped it down in one go.

-Glug.

Cold frozen banana milk, drunk while immersed in a hot bathtub.
Every time it flowed down the throat, the sweetness and the spreading banana scent brought an unprecedented joy.

-Glug.

Shiba and Wiki too, their cheeks flushed, full of contentment.

Our lips left the rim nearly in unison.

“Ah~!”
“Ha~!”
“Mmm~!”

A surge of refreshment exploded simultaneously! It felt as though the steam rising from the tub had entirely dissipated.

There are transgressions one mustn’t commit, and then there are those that might be perpetrated behind a mother’s back. If Wiki’s actions today constitute an unforgivable misdeed, then this would be the latter kind.

“Voila.”

I chuckled, revealing the pre-prepared bowl of milky shaved ice. It was brimming with sweetened condensed milk and red beans. It was so full, it was near to overflowing into the bath. The mothers would undoubtedly sigh at such a mess, but what did that matter?

“Would you like some shaved ice?”

“Bingsu! Yes! Me, me!”
“Absolutely! Are you also adding gummy bears?! Eek!”

And so, this was the way of my fatherhood.