080 – Secret Technique: Butt Slap

“..!”

The Cocaine kid was looking at me with anxious eyes.

At first, I realized he was moving slower than I expected.

I quickly understood that he was sizing me up, and focused primarily on evasion…

“Haa… haa…”

As time passed, I noticed he was starting to pant.

‘..Is that really it? No “I’ll use 50% of my power” kind of thing??’

He had been facing me with all his heart from the moment the duel began, without any probing.

‘…Is it because I’m in last place?’

Well, even in a renowned academy like this.

My grades were currently the worst of the first years.

So, it was understandable that my opponent felt he could handle me as the lowest-ranked student.

“All you do is dodge, pervert…!”

‘Fine. I’ll show you the might of an unjustly accused pervert.’

And so, as the kid – whether his name was Cocaine or Coca-in – squeezed out the last of his strength and lunged at me with his training longsword, I lightly sidestepped.

Just like when I fought the Succubus Queen.

I poured Ether into my hand and punched Cocaine-in’s chest…

*Crack-*

“?”

Along with a sound and sensation that shouldn’t have come from the body.

I could only watch as the male student collapsed in place, unconscious.

‘Me… why am I so strong?’

…

The tension of sparring, felt so acutely at first, was gone.

Dissipated, starting with that match against Deon Cocaine.

Just in case, I watched other students sparring.

‘…Why can I see them? Why do I think I can win?’

I saw their movements, predicted their next actions, and at the same time…

I felt like, even if I were in their place, I could win.

‘????’

Questions bloomed in my head, each one chasing its own tail, but…

No real reason came to mind.

Because…

For me, who’d fought in the style of an assassin – kidnapping, sleeping gas, infiltration, silent kills –

I hadn’t honestly swung a sword ten thousand times, nor had I done…

A hundred push-ups, a hundred sit-ups, a hundred squats, or a ten-kilometer run every single day.

In fact, the majority of my exercise was nothing more than a few light laps around the park to aid digestion after eating…

‘How did I get so strong?’

I couldn’t possibly know why I would become a master of combat.

‘That Mikhail b*stard… Did he secretly have a natural talent for fighting?’

So, I briefly entertained the hypothesis that Mikhail, back when he was alive before I possessed him, had been a fighting master…

‘Then why couldn’t I see anything when I first possessed this body?’

When I first entered this body…

Even watching the students spar, I only thought it was flashy. I realized that and…

That wasn’t the reason I got good at fighting either.

‘Seriously, why?’

Unable to find the reason, I heard my name called again.

Reluctantly, I started walking back toward the dueling stage.

‘Ella is looking after Miss Isabella.’

This time, I saw Ella, holding Isabella in her arms and watching the matches, which was a welcome sight.

I caught her eye with a little nod and…

‘…Could it be?’

Another new hypothesis occurred to me.

‘Is it because of this?’

That hypothesis was the “sandbag theory.”

You often see this trope in comics, webtoons, or anime.

The protagonist removes their sandbags just before a fight.

After removing the sandbags, the protagonist’s body feels lighter, allowing for greater speed.

In a way, my situation was similar.

‘Miss Isabella… Nephyra, the Magical Investigators, all sorts of criminals… She even fought against the Heart Reapers.’

Every day, I had to move quickly to stop the cat that tried to break into the bathroom while someone was showering, so my skill in sizing up an opponent improved.

Having indirectly experienced combat by watching Nephira fight valiantly to protect me from escaped convicts, and simultaneously honed my ability to analyze opponents by meticulously observing the actions of the magic investigators I guided. Then, piling on the practical experience of battling the abandoned Heart Harvester possessing the Succubus Queen’s body…

‘So that’s why.’

Was it that the training I’d unknowingly undergone had accumulated within me?

‘Well, even just managing Isabella-ssi was probably training in itself…’

Living alongside such overwhelmingly powerful figures, it seemed my body had become incapable of being satisfied with weak students.

*Beep-*

Snapping out of my daze at the sudden whistle signaling the start of the duel, I saw a female student charging toward me, wielding a mock spear to amplify its destructive power with momentum.

With a fleeting thought of what might happen, I decided to directly grab the spear, which was aimed precisely at my face.

As expected, I effortlessly seized the mock spear, halting the female student. From this, I grasped another truth.

‘The effects of the elixirs are incredible.’

The elixirs and spirit pills I had consumed were definitely not in vain.

The amount of ether within my body…

It was, at the very least, overwhelmingly greater than that of the female student before me.

“Let go…!”

“Pardon?”

“I… I absolutely must make a good impression this time…!”

In this place where so many high-ranking officials of the magic kingdom had gathered.

I wasn’t oblivious to her desperate desire to catch their eye, but…

“It might be best to start by tidying up your usual behavior.”

I still remembered the look in the woman’s eyes from a few days ago, when she’d regarded me as vermin because of the Mihyun Lolicon rumors.

“…You’re one to talk?”

“First, let’s gradually learn about polite speech that respects others.”

I snatched the spear away and flicked an ether-filled tap on the female student’s forehead as she was pulled toward me.

*Thwack!*

“Ugh!”

To explain the academy’s dueling system in an easy-to-understand way, it was best viewed as ‘dojo storming’.

Students with lower rankings continuously fought students with higher rankings in duels, until the moment they lost, at which point the dueling would cease.

However, most students’ dueling schedules ended within 3-4 matches.

It was clear that today, I would be the busiest student here.

“Not doing it properly…?”

“Next time, I’ll spank your bottom.”

“…What?”

“I’m going to spank it really hard. You should probably just surrender.”

“…You pervert.”

For the record, there was no particular reason why I told the female student I would spank her bottom.

I was clearly still an immature novice who couldn’t control my strength well, and I hoped that the catastrophe of breaking Kkokain’s bones from earlier would not happen again.

He was only going to strike the buttocks, a region where even a hard hit wouldn’t cause much trouble.

Truly, there was no other intention whatsoever.

Truly.

‘Mihyullyu Secret Technique, Chapter 1. Booty Spank.’

He was glad he was fighting barehanded, without any weapons.

…

*Smack-*

‘7 points.’

*Thwack-*

‘4 points.’

*Smack-* *Smack-*

“You crazy b*stard… why do you keep hitting my ass…!”

“Can you handle it if I hit your face like this?”

“Uh…”

“I’ll hit your ass then.”

“Okay… isn’t the answer damnit…!”

*Smack-*

“Hngyat!”

‘Perfect score. The best ass I’ve spanked today, without a doubt.’

Dodge, grab, strike.

It felt a little plain to just strike, so he was grading each student’s rear end.

He could feel the students’ gazes becoming even more of a spectacle.

‘They can’t even be grateful.’

Honestly, he felt a little unjustly treated.

If he wasn’t hitting their asses and went for their faces or other body parts, they wouldn’t even be able to handle it…

And he was being so considerate as to hit flesh with no bone, and they were looking at him like that?

Should he just outright break their bones and win every sparring match, just like that?

‘I hit everyone equally, male or female, so why the heck?’

On top of that, it wasn’t like he was only hitting the female students’ behinds.

He hit everyone’s backside equally, regardless of gender, but somehow he’d become a person to avoid, which felt a little unfair.

“He’s controlling his strength.”

“He’s being considerate so his opponent doesn’t get hurt, while still winning the match.”

“That student was at the bottom of the rankings last month? If he’s grown this much in a month, we can expect even greater potential in the future?”

Fortunately, the gazes of the high-ranking officials watching him seemed fairly decent.

That’s because they were the sort who only judged students based on their skill.

“Morbid taste…”

“Have that student excluded from social circles.”

“Crude.”

How dare a social circle try to mingle with the high-ranking officials!

Just go quietly drink your tea!

* * *

*Crack-*

“5.5 points.”

“…Pardon?”

“Ah, I misspoke. Don’t give it too much thought.”

Engaging so intensely in the sparring, I found myself surpassing some fifty students, now facing off against those in the upper echelons.

Note that this wasn’t a ‘gauntlet’ where you fought every student.

Rather, victory allowed you to challenge someone three to five ranks higher than the one you’d defeated, so in half a day I’d somehow wound up sparring with the best.

“…Honestly, I’ll say it.”

“Yes?”

“You’re genuinely insane.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“It annoys me, but I can’t deny it’s partly true.”

Furthermore, I could feel the durability of the students increasing the higher up I climbed.

Where previously students would collapse after two or three hits, now they were taking five or six before conceding defeat.

‘This one’s lasted nine hits.’

—

Edmund Pate (20)

—

Edmund Pate.

He was one of the most well-known male students within the freshman class.

Good-looking, excellent grades, and even a pleasant personality, he was popular with everyone, regardless of gender…

“Wouldn’t you consider giving up soon? I’m starting to feel guilty, being the one doing all the hitting.”

If only he’d accept that my attacks—all aimed at his backside—were a form of playful mockery and just yield…

Already having endured nine blows to his rear, and still refusing to surrender.

It was clear he was a man of immense tenacity.

“I refuse to concede to someone who isn’t fighting with sincerity.”

“Hmm…”

I *was* fighting with sincerity, yet perhaps because of the target zone, it wasn’t being perceived that way.

I was pouring all my aether into dodging their attacks, and simultaneously channeling all my aether into striking his backside, yet…

“I won’t give up. I have someone here today who I absolutely must impress.”

A lover, perhaps?

Or maybe a high-ranking official he needed to curry favor with?

Witnessing the man’s refusal to quit, persisting against a clear disparity in skill…

‘Still, he’s the only one who’s spoken politely to me today.’

He must be struggling.

Speaking respectfully to someone with such a monstrous reputation.

I liked his unwavering, earnest persistence.

‘I’ll stop here for today.’

I decided to conclude the mock battle here and now.

“Edmund Fait, sir. Allow me to be frank.”

“What is it?”

“I am… not skilled in the ways of combat.”

“..Pardon?”

“I have never trained in martial arts under a master, nor do I possess knowledge of weaponry.”

“…”

“If you were to ask how I even managed to get into this academy… I could only attribute it to sheer luck.”

“..?”

“Therefore, should my efforts to fight earnestly result in a display of truly… unsavory combat, I implore you not to be disappointed.”

With those final words, I assumed a stance.

One that would likely draw snickers from those who observed it, but alas, having never received proper instruction, I was hardly capable of adopting a flawless posture.

With an air of utmost confidence, I bent my knees and…

“Stealth.”

About to charge someone for the very first time.

Feeling somewhat self-conscious about revealing my clumsy advance, I invoked the Stealth skill and dashed around towards Edmund’s rear.

In that brief instant of my vanishing, a bewildered Edmund turned his head, scanning the surroundings.

“Stealth Disengage.”

And as I de-activated the skill directly behind him, simultaneously launching a fist to strike his side…

Thwack-

Predictably, befitting a student of his caliber.

The moment he sensed my presence behind him, he swiftly discarded the training weapon he held, countering with a backspin elbow strike that connected with me.

Of course, this attack was also one I had anticipated, and could have easily evaded had I so desired.

“Ah… I have lost. To be struck like that…”

“..?”

Frankly… I was simply longing for a moment of respite.

Intentionally allowing his elbow to meet my face, I promptly collapsed onto the training ground.

“I concede defeat.”

Beep-

The instant I uttered the words of concession, sprawled across the arena floor, the referee blew a resounding whistle.

“Winner, Edmund Fait.”

As the referee’s declaration of Edmund Fait’s victory echoed through the air…

Woah!!

Yes!!!

Well done!

A chorus of cheers erupted from the crowd.

‘…Yet when I win, not a single cheer is offered…’

Indeed…

It seems life favors the handsome.

‘Starting tomorrow, I’m dolling myself up. Just you wait.’

##