0 – Was Favorite

0.

For the sake of winning over but a single heart, I forsook all I had.

My pride, my reputation, my worth, even my very future.

Yet all that returned was a loathing gaze, eyes that screamed I was something they could never accept.

At that look, a signal that all was in vain, I let out a mocking laugh.

Because I realized that, from the start, they never intended to understand me, no matter what I did.

“It’s alright. I didn’t expect anything from you in the first place.”

If only, just once, they’d listened to me… or even treated me with the fairness they showed others, could our ending have been different?

Dwelling for a moment on a future that could never be, I opened my mouth, convinced it was all meaningless.

“Won’t you even hear my story?”

“It’s futile.”

“You won’t even listen to my side, let alone grasp the context of the event.”

“……”

Right up until the very end, I desperately begged them to hear me out, but they merely stood there, looking down at me.

The instant I saw those emotionless eyes, I felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness.

And I uttered a vulgar phrase I would have never dared to say in their presence.

“Then get the hell out, you b*tch.”

* * * * * * *

1. Favorite

[Even if everyone points their fingers at you, I will forever be on your side, so please, do not worry.]

As one wanders through life, a favorite—a *choeae*—will sometimes burst into one’s mind.

In my case, it was the character of Elysee, the Grand Duchess of the North…

Cool and aloof, but warm only to her man.

Even when the protagonist was betrayed by everyone and plunged into a bottomless despair, she was the only one who reached out a hand: the devoted “main wife” character.

A small number of wicked individuals would often spout nonsense like, ‘Regardless, the main wife will be Rwen, the female lead. Elysee had a fiancé, so she’s out of the running.’

But, fundamentally, the virtue of the main wife character lay in reaching out to the protagonist when they had fallen to their lowest point, so Elysee being the main wife was an immutable, absolute truth.

‘In any case, what’s important is this.’

From the moment I first saw Elysee, I became completely obsessed with her character, indulging in every kind of *deokjil* imaginable.

Sadly, the novel featuring Elysee wasn’t particularly popular, so there wasn’t any official merchandise for sale. Thus, I ended up handcrafting my own.

‘Around twenty pieces of merch, all told.’

Sadly, talent in the arts had eluded me, but I did have money, earned through enduring a soul-crushing corporate existence.

Every last penny of my salary went to commissioning illustrations, which I then used to create goods. (With the artist’s permission, of course.)

Crude though they were, I’d even hand-make simple figurines and cushions, filling my room to bursting with them.

‘And as if that wasn’t enough…’

I even penned fanfiction starring Elysia, uploading it to online novel sites. Plus, I’d compose 57,000-word essays singing Elysia’s praises to the original author.

I can confidently say I’ll never pour this much affection into anyone ever again. I expressed my love with everything I had.

That’s why I was Elysia’s fiancé.

To be precise, *had been* her fiancé – a character fated to die at the protagonist’s hands due to his cruel and dissolute nature.

When I first realized I’d transmigrated into Damian, joy overwhelmed any vague sense of dread.

‘Score one for me, no?’

If any of my friends (assuming I had any) heard my reaction, they’d probably call me insane (predictable).

The fact that I could not only meet the character I’d loved with every fiber of my being, but also become her fiancé, filled me with such glee that other aspects simply didn’t register.

…Though, honestly, there wasn’t much *to* register.

But enough with the gloom. The important thing was that I had become the fiancé of a character I truly adored, so I immediately headed for Elysia’s office.

I went to her office without a plan, without any forethought whatsoever.

My mind was wholly consumed by the realization that, after five years of devoted fandom, I was finally meeting my ultimate bias.

Thus, with the simple goal of making eye contact and exchanging polite greetings, I entered her office.

“You seem to have a great deal of free time. I envy you.”

All I received was a dismissal that implied I wasn’t even worth her attention.

A perfectly predictable response, of course.

Elysia was the type of character who drew a line and presented a frigid front, until she was ready to open her heart.

According to the novel’s descriptions, many were wounded by her reactions.

But knowing all the things she would do for the protagonist once she opened her heart, I knew just how warm a character she was in reality. I simply smiled and accepted her dismissal.

“Well then, good morning.”

“……”

Elysia stared at me, a flicker of disbelief in her eyes.

Finally, she was giving me her attention. I calmly met her gaze.

To say she was beautiful would be stating the obvious, so I’ll skip that part.

Instead, I couldn’t help but notice the dark circles etched beneath her eyes and the sickly, blueish pallor of her skin, and I felt a pang of concern.

“Looks like the work is weighing heavily.”

The harshness of the North dictated an excess of considerations, and the sheer magnitude of each risk led to an over-concentration of responsibility in the hands of a few capable decision-makers.

One of those was Alicia. Recognized for her abilities since childhood, and with her sights set on the seat of the family head, she was constantly beset by an unreasonable workload.

Seeing this, a thought sparked within me: if I assisted Alicia, might I not earn her favor? With that, I offered her another bright smile.

*

Back in Damian’s room, I finally felt my senses returning.

Until moments ago, I was as if struck by an enchantment, able to think of nothing but finding Alicia.

But now, alone in the room, staring at the ceiling, reason slowly crept back into my mind.

‘…’

I realized the absurdity of my actions and thoughts, and a mirthless laugh escaped me.

Yet, upon further reflection, it didn’t seem entirely disastrous. I sighed and closed my eyes.

‘Now that I’m possessed, there’s no returning, even if I begged. Acceptance is the only path.’

Regret over what has happened changes nothing.

Knowing well that self-reproach only leads to deeper quicksand, I resolved to shake it off, running a hand through my hair as I began to assess the situation.

‘I am Damian Carsaril.’

An antagonist character appearing in the early to mid-stages of the story, destined to die at the hands of the protagonist in the latter half.

Yet, until then, he wielded immense influence, applying comprehensive pressure on the protagonist.

‘In the original story, his relationship with his betrothed, Alicia, was terrible, treating her merely as his property.’

Of course, Alicia openly rejected and ignored that shit-Damian Carsaril, so nothing much actually happened.

The important thing was that their values clashed so severely that Damian tormented Alicia relentlessly.

Thus, according to the original plot, their relationship would be beyond repair, utterly shattered…

‘But judging by the fact that Alicia only ignores me…’

Whether it be luck or fate, I could discern that we were still in the early stages, before any serious conflict, in other words, Damian had only recently arrived in the North.

‘Then, perhaps there’s a chance.’

Saving the world? Returning to Earth? “I Got Reincarnated and the Elf with Chests the Size of My Head and a Dragon and a Saintess All Love Me”? All that is meaningless. I only need Alicia.

Therefore, I decided to do everything in my power to win Alicia’s heart, wracking my brain for possibilities.

‘Firstly, the character of Damian is affluent.’

Engaged to the Grand Duchess of the North, the youngest son of a renowned noble family, he was blessed with an almost obscene amount of wealth – that was his advantage.

Initially appearing as a talentless worm, he later became a formidable enemy, capable of challenging the protagonist, which suggests he possessed considerable potential.

‘Only, a nature inherently lazy and dissolute, that was the problem.’

In the beginning, his ability was weak, marked by him getting beaten by the protagonist every time.

But, to put it another way, it meant that if he tried in the early stages, he could become someone who could help Elysia.

Remembering this, I decided to focus on trying to be helpful.

‘And furthermore…’

If I made the North a better place to live, wouldn’t mutual affection naturally increase? I nodded to myself at the thought.

‘However, all of this is me trying to do things unilaterally.’

It would be better to become friends as naturally as possible, without showing my hand too much.

I wanted to become close quickly, but I didn’t want to burden her, so I decided to approach her slowly, taking a deep breath.

‘Let’s give it a shot.’