38 – The Annulment Ceremony, Concluded 2

“Lady Elyssia, the Head of the House has personally concluded all contracts with the Karsaril family. He commands you to return immediately after the annulment ceremony tomorrow.”

Elyssia’s thoughts froze for a moment at the abrupt resolution.

She had expected to drag things out for at least a week, but everything was ending in a day or two, let alone a week.

She stared blankly at the maid, who spoke to her with a very stern expression.

“The Head of the House says his patience has reached its limit. He insists you return…”

“……”

Her head swam with complicated thoughts, and she unconsciously began to bite her nails as she pondered.

‘If I go back like this, I’ll be saddled with all the blame and completely ousted from politics. On top of that, I’ll be excluded from all the work I’ve been handling and lose my entire footing.’

And then, unlike with Damian, she would undoubtedly be sold off like livestock, married off to some nobleman, and displayed like an ornament for the rest of her life, only to eventually disappear.

Reaching this conclusion, she swiftly calmed her mind and looked down.

Her nails were on the verge of tearing off from being bitten so fiercely and repeatedly.

Seeing this, she decided to make a final, desperate struggle before they completely fell off, and quickly headed outside.

Swaaash.

The rain came down fiercely, but I couldn’t afford to hesitate any longer. I hurried my steps towards Damian’s residence.

My clothes and shoes were soaked through, having rushed out without preparation.

But it was better than remaining there, paralyzed. I ignored the discomfort and ran towards the manor.

“Damian… Please, tell Damian I’m here.”

“I’m sorry, but Damian-sama has instructed that he not be disturbed today.”

I approached the maid, or so she seemed, and desperately requested that she summon Damian, but I was refused.

I couldn’t turn back now. Clasping my drenched arms, I begged again, my voice raw.

…Perhaps moved by my desperation, she relented. She said she would ask, and then ascended the stairs.

‘I have to persuade him, somehow.’

If he desires my body, I would give it freely.

If he asks for words of love, I would act the part with all my might.

And so, with a heart filled with desperation, I continued to wait for him.

One hour passed, then two, but he showed no sign of appearing.

“……”

Clutching my shivering body against the cold, I waited.

Then, I heard the sound of calm footsteps approaching the entrance.

At the sound, I lifted my head quickly.

But it wasn’t Damian standing there. It was Siren, the woman he kept close.

*

Everyone had retreated indoors to escape the rain, leaving only the sound of the downpour echoing in the air.

Siren spoke in a composed voice, revealing the truth.

“Damian won’t come out.”

“… What did you say?”

“He doesn’t even know you’re here. And he won’t find out either.”

I couldn’t fathom why she was so hostile towards me. We had barely exchanged a proper conversation, let alone a meaningful interaction.

But I was the one who needed to beg now, so I opened my mouth to try and persuade her.

Before I could speak, Siren directed a frigid question at me.

“After hurting Damian for a whole year, why come crawling back now? For the warmth?”

It was the truth.

But I couldn’t accept it, so I denied it.

“No. It’s not that, but to undo what was done wrong…”

At those words, Siren spoke to me, her expression chillingly subdued.

“…A lie. The mana around you is wavering.”

I didn’t know what it meant for the mana around me to waver.

But I couldn’t simply accept things as they were, so I denied it and spoke urgently.

“…Really, just let me see Damian first.”

“I don’t want you to see Damian, because it’s obvious you’ll hurt him.”

“…Hah.”

At this point, annoyance surged within me.

As if waiting outside for so long wasn’t enough, when my time was already short.

The fact that some commoner I didn’t even know was acting so brazenly was quite irritating.

And so, my emotions pierced my mind, inciting anger.

But I couldn’t ruin things like this, so I tried a simple appeasement.

“…I don’t need it. Damian is more important to me.”

It had no effect whatsoever.

So, instead of appeasement, I decided to threaten her, reverting to my usual tone.

“It seems you don’t realize your position. Let me tell you, killing a commoner like you isn’t a difficult thing to do.”

“If it’s for Damian’s sake, I don’t mind dying.”

“Do you truly wish to die?”

“I don’t care.”

Realizing that this person was impossible to reason with, I figured it would be better to simply resort to force, and tried to push her aside.

But just before I pushed, a powerful recoil struck me, pushing me backward instead.

Because of that, I fell backward, covered in muddy water.

I judged that there would be no problem even if I killed her, as a commoner touched a noble, and just as I was about to call for a knight, using this as justification…

“…What are you doing.”

Damian opened the door and appeared.

The situation itself was the worst, but I’d achieved the goal of meeting Damian, so I didn’t think it was so bad, and I called out to him with a look that was meant to evoke his sympathy.

“…Damian, I have something to.”

“Attacking Siren and then you say you have something to say? I think Siren has much more to say.”

“…A misunderstanding. Please, just hear me out.”

To that, Damian laughed, devoid of amusement, speaking to himself more than her.

“If you’d listened to me, even once, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“That’s why I’m regretting it.”

“Are you *really* regretting it? Or did you just come because you need my warmth?”

It was the truth.

A truth she couldn’t allow herself to admit.

“It’s not that. I truly regret it, it’s not…”

“If you truly regret it, how about you accept the annulment quietly and leave?”

“…That’s…”

“Impossible, isn’t it? Of course, it is. Because all of your actions toward me have been contradictions, utter and complete.”

“……”

The word “contradiction” pierced her mind, silencing her. She could only close her mouth, unable to speak.

He gazed at her, then began to list each contradiction he had felt.

“Claiming to be for the sake of the North, yet desiring to seize the title of Lord. Committing deeds that could harm the North.”

“Saying you seek forgiveness from me, yet clearly seeking warmth above all else.”

“What is it you even want? What in the world do you even want?”

Hearing those words, the constraints that bound her rose to the surface.

– *Elysia, the word ‘best’ is merely used by the worthless to prove themselves.*

– *Great… Great Duchess, my children are starving. Please, just help me once!*

– *The world will only remember your failures and outcome, not your journey.*

– *My… my son is dead. He gave his portion to his younger brother…*

– *So please, do not fail. It is the final thing this mother can say to you.*

– *My wife and daughter are dead. All because they had such a worthless father.*

Her mother’s last words.

Someone’s last words, begging for their family to be spared.

And.

– What is it you even want?

Even Damian’s last words.

The moment all those things swirled in her mind, the things she had ignored rushed to the forefront.

“What is it, truly, that I long to achieve?”

To resurrect the North?

To become the head of the family and be acknowledged for all the sacrifices made thus far?

Or perhaps, to fulfill Mother’s last wish?

I couldn’t be sure. I had simply lived like a puppet controlled by those words, a prisoner of that dying wish.

And so, unable to utter a sound, I stood still.

Damian, watching me, let out a hollow laugh and spoke.

“Get out.”

With those words, it felt as though everything collapsed within me, and I looked up at the sky, heavy with rain.

At the rain that stung my eyes, and the lightning that cracked and flashed all around.

I offered him my last plea.

“…Damian, if you wish, I am willing to give you my body, my heart, everything. Won’t you reconsider this annulment?”

“The only reason I am letting you leave is because a faint spark of the affection I once held for you still lingers. Just go back.”

So, persuasion was a futile endeavor after all.

At those words, I lowered the mask I had been wearing, and spoke.

“Damian. It may be late to say this now, but I envied you. A life where you could act as you pleased and everyone would indulge you, where you obtained everything you desired.”

I don’t know if it was because everything had become meaningless, or if I was finally speaking the truth.

Unknowingly, my tone had reverted to its original state.

Realizing this, I chuckled dryly and said to him,

“So, perhaps I was jealous of you.”

Only after confessing the hidden truth I had carried for so long, did I understand the truth I had sought all along.

‘I wanted to be recognized.’

The moment I understood that I had been acting this way, yearning for validation that my life had not been in vain.

I felt the countless spirits that had been showering me with curses clinging to me, as if drawn to a magnet.

My heart was strangely at peace.

Thinking this, I touched the strands of hair, dirtied by the muddy water, and spoke calmly.

“One last question. If I sincerely beg for forgiveness, would you be willing to forgive me?”

He smirked at my words.

“Try it. If you can.”

I returned his smile, and spoke.

“It seems… it won’t work after all. To be frank, I don’t even know what I did wrong. From my perspective, it felt like I gave you hope, then nurtured it.”

Leaving aside the messy process, looking only at the results, that was the truth.

Thanks to him, Damian had discovered his swordsmanship talent, and he was even able to find his aptitude for spirits. Wouldn’t that be considered good fortune for him, rather?

Of course, he could have felt a great disappointment about not being believed.

Still, considering all that they had gained from each other, he thought it wasn’t a bad trade, so he calmly turned and spoke.

“Then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Now, whether it was creating an artificial sun, or stealing a spirit, he would do whatever he could.

He turned, resolved to be recognized for not being wrong in what he’d done.

The rain was pouring heavily, creating puddles everywhere.

The muddy puddles gripped at his ankles, not exactly a pleasant feeling.

Even so, he thought it wasn’t so bad, and continued forward.

‘It’s dark.’

In the city soaked by the pouring rain, he walked down the deserted street and calmly closed his eyes.

…The pouring rain would keep falling no matter what he did.

He wouldn’t hesitate any longer, but would accept it, and keep moving forward.