5. I banter with your chieftain

The Elven Kingdom of Pulus and the Orc Austro-Hungarian Tribe have long harbored a blood feud that could be described as “win, and the clan remains unscathed; lose, and the whole family is doomed.” This is hardly news among the nations, but now, with the prevailing trend of ceasefire, both sides have no choice but to sign.

However, signing is one thing; reality is another. Today, this trivial matter could have made it into the “Top Ten Heartwarming Elf News”—the orcs helping elves pick up handkerchiefs—but now, due to various misunderstandings, it has escalated into a battle on the brink of eruption. I have no desire to get entangled in this troublesome racial conflict, but the emergence of a death script, coupled with Miss Nilu potentially leveling up because of it, forces me to intervene, turning me into…

The current situation!

[The elven midget is stunned by the actions of Oujili.]

One second, spitting venom at the orcs; the next, rendered speechless, throwing all the blame onto me. By the time I started to regret stepping forward, it was already too late!

“Human! Stay out of this! Scram!”

“Geloram, don’t reason with this human.”

The green-skinned orc spoke with an “intelligent” demeanor, uttering words that were remarkably “wise.” “Anyway, these humans will always take sides because of the elves’ beauty that aligns with their aesthetics, playing the hero. I’ve seen this too many times!”

Damn it, I thought you were more reasonable than that red-skinned one! Turns out your brain isn’t much better!

My wife is both beautiful and strong! My maid is both busty and virtuous! Why should I be swayed by a mere elven midget!?

But the orcs didn’t care. The next moment, the red-skinned orc nodded knowingly: “Brother Gu Erdan, I understand!”

With that, he turned and glared at me, flexing his muscles once more: “Human, these long-eared bitches have tarnished our noble dignity as orcs, slandering our good deeds. If you don’t let him speak, I won’t let this go! If you dare take sides, you’ll just have to learn a lesson!”

Immediately, Geloram raised his fist!

[Oujili was killed by Geloram’s Hell Roar punch.]

I knew it would turn into this! You elves really know how to stir up trouble!

“Ou—”

Not far away, Nilu stood up nervously. To prevent her from worrying, I immediately signaled her with my eyes that everything was fine! Even though I was panicking, I couldn’t let Nilu get involved in this dangerous and easily escalating situation.

Then, I watched the script and braced myself for the orc’s punch!

In the next moment, the fist brushed past me! I dodged using the script and tightly hugged the little midget, who should have been frozen in shock, to protect her from harm!

“What!? You actually dodged my Crimson Lotus Overlord Fist!?”

Come on, it was just a regular punch; your orcs are so melodramatic.

“Geloram, be careful! This person is not simple!”

While I could dodge in various ways thanks to the script, taking down the mountain of muscle before me was clearly impossible. So, at the moment the red-skinned orc, surprised, cautiously retreated with the green-skinned orc, I also learned their identities from the script!

[Geloram Hell Roar, Gu Erdan Heaven’s Lament; the two orcs are envoys heading to the Pulus Palace to submit a request for friendship.]

—

Alright, now I’ve accidentally made the conflict between the two nations even more complicated. But dead friends don’t kill the poor Taoist; I should prioritize my safety and take Nilu to a safer place first.

“Geloram, Gu Erdan, I advise you both not to take action.”

Dealing with orcs who get hot-headed and want to fight, having a script is incredibly helpful for intimidation, and I quickly thought of one.

“I know your great chieftain.”

“What!?”

The red-skinned Geloram widened his mouth in surprise, revealing his pair of fangs. However, the atmosphere in the shop suddenly became very strange, with almost all the elves looking at me suspiciously, accompanied by a whole bunch of scripts suggesting that I was a spy and that they should kill me—this kind of script hasn’t stopped since I arrived in the Kingdom of Prulith, and I’m very curious about who I’ve offended.

Can’t you tell that I’m just bluffing to help you ease the situation!?

The green-skinned orc Gu Erdan quickly reacted.

“Hmph, liar! How could a human like you possibly know our chieftain!?”

“Why not? Gu Erdan, don’t be so shortsighted.”

Even if he doesn’t know me, I know him through the script, doesn’t that count as knowing?

“Chieftain Sal, right? I was already joking and laughing with him when you two were still nursing!”

“Uh!?”

“You two messengers have only one good point, and that is that you want to fight faster than anything else! Now you’ve messed it up, haven’t you? I’m here to supervise you; now you can go back! “

The two orcs exchanged glances, and in the end, they looked at me with suspicion on their fierce faces.

“Human, we’ll let today’s matter slide, but if you dare to deceive us, you’re finished!”

In unison, the two orcs angrily left the inn. And at the moment they left, my death script also diminished significantly.

I definitely just lied, but by the time the two orcs went back to figure things out, I would have already slipped away quickly, so there’s no need to worry. These orcs are quite one-track minded; they didn’t even think of this and ran off in a hurry. No wonder they always end up at a disadvantage when arguing with elves.

With everything resolved and no other orcs in the shop, I let out a long breath, having solved a big problem for this group of elves. However, I didn’t feel happy at all; aside from the spotlight on me, more importantly. ..

This was entirely a mess caused by these elves overthinking, especially the little elf girl still standing dumbly behind me. To annoy an orc to the point of wanting to fight with just a few words, that’s quite a skill—let’s call it the study of yin and yang.

I turned around, wanting to take this opportunity to educate her properly. After all, it’s not every time she annoys an orc that I have a “helpful human big brother” like me to come to the rescue. However, as soon as I looked over…

This little elf girl was already twisting her body in front of me.

“Um, little sister?”

In the next moment, the little girl suddenly woke up!

“Y-yes!”

Don’t answer like you’re responding to military orders; you scared me.

“Next time, don’t speak disrespectfully to orcs; it’s very dangerous.”

“Y-yes… yes~”

I felt that the little girl’s response was a bit strange, and her face was flushed. I checked the script, and sure enough.

【The elf girl is captivated by Ou Jili’s actions and compliments!】

【Ogilid rejected the kind intentions of the elf midget and was stabbed to death by her!】

Ah~ As expected, such things can happen. After all, although my previous actions were for self-preservation, they did seem a bit heroic in saving a beauty. It’s a pity, little sister, that I really don’t have the mood or the courage to respond to you; the death script is always looming over me.

That said, being admired by a cute elf midget still gives a feeling akin to that of a harem male protagonist, doesn’t it~ Haha~

In a good mood, I called Nilu to help me with the luggage and check into the inn. As we walked past, I didn’t notice that the midget behind me seemed to be whispering something with the elf she shouldn’t have known, and then… she kept staring at me until my figure disappeared up the stairs.