Chapter 23

Happy Birthday, Toramasa!

I said this to Toramasa on the other end of the phone as soon as the date changed.

A small “Oh,” came back from the other end of the phone and I smiled happily.

I couldn't stop thanking Toramasa for going along with my selfishness of wanting to wish him a happy birthday as soon as it was his birthday.

Today is August 3rd. Today is Toramasa's birthday. It is the day that Toramasa was born into this world.

Thank you for coming into this world. I love you, and I will always love only you, Toramasa.

“…Thank you.”

I'm so happy. Toramasa said thank you….

I am happy that Toramasa said thank you to me……words that never came back to me in my previous life.

He is directly thanking me for being born to him.

That made me so happy, so happy that I said “Congratulations” to Toramasa over and over again.

—–

The time is one o'clock in the afternoon. A bouquet of flowers and a cake reserved at the store. Then I was in front of Toraga's house with my big luggage. I put the rest of my luggage down on the floor and pressed the intercom with trembling fingers. I held the door with my bag to prevent it from closing and opened my mouth with a smile.

Happy birthday!”

I said to Toraya as I held out the bouquet of flowers in my hand.

Toramasa's eyes widen and he looks at me and the bouquet in my hand with a surprised expression.

I thought about choosing a bouquet in black, Toramasa's image color, but I wondered what a black bouquet would look like for a birthday celebration…. So I decided on a bouquet with lots of brightly colored flowers such as orange, pink, and yellow.

I worked hard with the florist to decide which flowers to use, what kind of image to create, what colors to use for wrapping paper and ribbon, and so on.

Besides, I definitely wanted to give Toraga a bouquet of flowers on his birthday. I know that people might think that flowers are just a bother, but I still wanted to give it to him as a congratulatory gift.

I asked him, “Toramasa-san? Toraya looked me in the eye, then shifted his gaze to the bouquet and gently extended his hand.

I put the bouquet in his hand, and he looked at it, then held it in one hand, approached me and hugged me with his free hand.

Thank you.”

I was so happy to hear his voice in my ear that I almost cried again. I had cried after my nighttime phone call with Toramasa.

I was so happy to hear his voice in my ear, and I almost cried again.

The warmth of Toraya's body felt from his palms made me realize for the first time how many times Toraya was alive.

Thank you very much,” he said.

Toramasa then says, “Why are you the one thanking me?” He moves his body away and picks up some of his belongings on the floor.

Toramasa, don't worry, I can carry them all by myself!”

I hurriedly tried to stop Toraya, but he put the box of cakes in my hands as I tried to stop him, and then he went into the room with all the other packages.

As I watched Toraya's back disappear into the living room, I blushed red and bit my lower lip.

This kind of casual kindness makes me so happy….

I let out a “uggghh…. I carefully carried the cake to the refrigerator so that it would not fall apart in my hands.

In the fridge, Toramasa was putting in the ingredients I had bought. Toraya held out his hand and placed the box of cake I had carried on it, and Toraya put it in the empty space.

I told him I would do it because it was Toramasa's birthday today, but he said, “Just do it,” and wouldn't budge.

I would have preferred Toramasa to stay on the sofa today, but he wanted to do it, so I was just grateful for his willingness to do so, and I transferred the bouquet of flowers from the dining room table to a vase I had brought and placed it on the dining room table.

I looked at the bouquet from a little distance and nodded, “I'm glad I bought it. I nodded my head in agreement, finished putting the food in the refrigerator, and went over to Toramasa, who was sitting on the sofa.

I nodded and went over to Toraga, who was sitting on the sofa after putting the food in the fridge.

I've heard it a thousand times.

I want to say it over and over again. I will continue to give thanks for the miracle that Toramasa-san was truly born.”

I got down on my knees on the floor, and Toramasa said, “All right, sit down quickly.” and called me to sit next to him.

I hurriedly got up from the floor, sat down next to him, and put on the movie he wanted to watch.

The movie was an action movie that Toramasa liked. It was a new one that had recently appeared in a commercial.

While watching the movie, I kept glancing at Toraya who was sitting next to me. It is not that the movie was not interesting. The movie was very interesting. But I still wanted to see Toraga sitting next to me, so I kept glancing at Toraga.

I like to see Toraya's serious expression, the way his eyes widen a little when he is surprised, the way he puts his hand on his chin, the way he crosses his legs, the way he does things unconsciously.

And sometimes he notices my gaze and looks at me and smiles gently.

That makes me so happy and happy that I almost cry.

And then we both talk about what we thought of the movie. It's the same as when we watched a movie at Toraga's house before.

I'm the kind of person who likes to share my thoughts after watching a movie, so I'm happy to see that I'm the same as Toraga.

When it was almost four o'clock, I got up to cook dinner.

I made a hamburger steak, corn soup, and a salad to go with it. It was not an elaborate dish. But I have made it many times in my previous life, so I don't think I will fail. But I am still nervous because the person who will be eating it is Toramasa. I don't want Toraga to eat something strange. I tied the apron I brought from home tightly and stood in the kitchen with the feeling of going into battle.

The good thing about remembering my past life is that I remembered Toraga and I remembered cooking.

Before I remembered, I had never cooked, and if I did, it was only in home economics class.

I remember that my brain, not my body, does the cooking. I remember how to use a knife and the steps of cooking.

As I was cooking the hamburger patty with both hands to remove the air, I heard a commercial I often listen to coming from the living room.

My brain recalled the image of the commercial with my favorite singer's song as background music, and I hummed the song that I had memorized.

After the commercial ended, I couldn't get the song out of my head, and as I was shaping my hamburger patty with my mouth still singing naturally, I was suddenly hugged from behind.

Hee!”

I couldn't have imagined the shock, and my body jerked.

I was so shocked that I couldn't imagine what was happening.

The hands are dirty, so I can't touch Toramasa.

I'm not sure if it's a good idea or not. My heart was pounding.

I thought about turning around to check, but I could only move my head enough to see Toraga's hair out of the corner of my eye, and all I could do was just stand there as he hugged me.

Is…something wrong?”

I said as calmly as I could, and Toramasa buried his face in my neck. He let go of my body and patted my head before returning to the sofa.

I don't ask why he did this. I decided to watch Toraga's behavior until he told me.

Since he told me he wanted to like me, I would expect this kind of behavior from Toraga.

Every time he hugs me, every time he smiles at me, every time he pats my head, I wonder if maybe he feels the same way I do.

Remembering the sound of his heart the other day makes me expect even more.

I tell myself it's because I've been drinking, but I hope not.

I wonder what will happen to me one day when I hear the two words “I love you” from Toramasa's mouth.

I am …… scared even though I hope and expect Toramasa to like me.

I am afraid that Toraga will like me. I'm scared because I can't imagine what will happen to me now when we are both in love, so I don't know what will happen to me after that.

Because I've had a one-sided love for a long time, and because I'm with Toraga, I'm being incredibly timid.

But I am sure it is the same for everyone. I'm going to keep on liking Toraga as usual so that I don't think about the feelings of fear. I will always love Toraya.

An hour after I started cooking, the rice was ready.

There was no need to rush, so I took my time and cooked it carefully.

I placed the finished rice on the table and nervously called out to Toraya.

I was very happy to cook for the person I love, but I was also very nervous. I hope he thinks it tastes good, but what if he thinks it doesn't? These thoughts are going around in my head. I don't know if it will be good enough for Toraga's palate, and I can't stop being nervous. Should I run to the store and buy something ready-made now…or make a reservation at a restaurant?

As I was worrying with my head in my hands, Toramasa seemed to have taken a seat before I knew it and was looking at me with a funny look in his eyes.

What are you doing?

'Toramasa, would you like to go to a restaurant now?'

I suggested it to Toramasa, but he dismissed the idea, saying, “I'm not going. He rejected my proposal. Oh, no….

I opened my mouth again, looking at Toramasa.

If you don't like it, you can leave it behind!

I'll tell you what…” “…….”

If it tastes bad, don't say anything, just get up and go back to the couch!”

“…….”

And if you get a stomach ache, I've brought you some medicine.

“…….

Oh, um, I'm still going to the restaurant. …… yes.

The actual “I'm not a fan of the way you do it,” he said. The actual “I'm not a fan of the way you do it,” he said, “but I'm not a fan of the way you do it.

The most important thing to remember is that you can't just take a look at the actual product or service and expect it to be just as good as it was before. I can only be thankful that Toraga-san was born. Thank you for being born. I really wish you a happy birthday.”

Saying this, he bowed his head and clasped his hands together.

Thank you very much.

I said, and after a pause, Toramasa said, “Itadakimasu. Then he picked up his fork.

I watched Toramasa's behavior as he froze in his Itadakimasu pose and covered his face with his hands when he saw the hamburger steak I had made go into his mouth.

Toramasa ate what I had made.

I suppress my desire to roll around and wait for Toraya's reaction. Would he go to the sofa or just eat it?

Listening carefully to Toramasa's behavior, it seemed that he was not going to the sofa, and I did not hear him pull up a chair.

I was so relieved that I glanced at Toraya through the gap between my fingers and saw that he was looking at me intently.

His expression was not smiling. He was just looking at me with a serious face.

I didn't think he was looking at me, so I closed my fingers again, blocking out my vision and thinking about the meaning of Toramasa's expression.

I wondered if he was having trouble figuring out how to react because it wasn't good, or if it wasn't his favorite flavor. …… I'm afraid of what to do.

I'm not sure what to do. I was so scared.

Hearing those words, I removed my hands covering my face and looked at Toraya from the front.

Unlike his earlier expression, he looked at me with a smile on his face, as if he were about to cry, and said again, “It's delicious,” clearly this time.

Really?

Oh.”

Ugh, I'm so happy! I'm so happy! Thank you!

That was good. Just hearing those words made me feel like everything was worth it.

Just hearing the person I love say that the food I made tasted good made all my previous worries disappear, and I feel a rush of joy that makes my heart ache.

Even if it was flattering, Toraga said it was delicious.

I was so happy that I cried. Biting my lower lip, I suppressed the sound that would have made me scream with joy, and roughly wiped the ragged tears with the handkerchief I had in my pocket.

When the tears stopped, I also took a mouthful of the rice I had prepared.

As I proceeded to eat, checking the taste of my own rice, which I had eaten many times in my previous life, I noticed that Toraga had eaten the rice I had made beautifully.

I was happy that he said it tasted good, but the fact that he ate the whole thing made me even happier.

Perhaps this amount of food was not enough for Toramasa. When I told this to Toraya, he replied, “It was enough.

I am glad it was enough. Oh, there is cake after dinner, can we have some?

I thought you had a sweet tooth.

Toramasa-san is a quintessential Toramasa-san.”

I said with a laugh, and Toraga laughed back at me.

After we finished eating and put away the dishes, I brought a cake from the refrigerator.

It was a birthday cake that I had reserved for this occasion at a restaurant that had received many good reviews for its taste.

When I took the one-hole cake out of the box, the entire cake was revealed. A chocolate plate said “Happy Birthday, Taiga-kun,” and Toraga smiled when he saw the cake.

I put the candles numbered 1 and 8, which I had bought separately, into the cake, lit them, turned off the lights in the room, and sang a song. Toramasa told me to stop singing because it was embarrassing, but I said, “It's my birthday, I have to sing! I sang a little too forcefully.

When I finished singing, he applauded and said, “Happy birthday, Toramasa-san! Please extinguish the candles. and moved the cake closer to Toramasa.

Toraya remained silent for a moment as if thinking, then he gently reached for the cake and extinguished the candles with his fingers.

I was so shocked that I was unable to move my body and hurriedly turned on the room light, took Toraga's hand and checked his finger.

Are you all right? Are your fingers burned?

“No, I ain't burned.

Really? Are you sure?

I checked Toraga's fingers over and over again, and sure enough, there were no burns on them.

I told him, “I'm sorry,” and he said, “I'm sorry. I told Toramasa, “I'm sorry,” he said with an evil smile and patted my head with the hand opposite to the one I was touching.

The small one-hole cake almost made it into Toraya's stomach.

I love watching Toraga eat so much. I can see that he is alive, that he is trying to live.

Besides, this is the cake I bought for Toramasa, so I am happy that Toramasa is eating so much of it.

After Toraya finished the cake and I ate my own cake, I put away the dishes and urged Toraya to go to the sofa to wash the dishes.

When I had finished cleaning up, I took out a long, thin, wrapped box from a paper bag I had brought and sat down next to Toramasa on the sofa.

I took out a long, thin box from the paper bag and sat down next to Toraga on the sofa. Please accept this small gift.”

As I looked down, Toraya seemed to accept the box and the weight of his hands disappeared.

I heard the sound of a paper bag being opened, but as I spent some time looking down without lifting my gaze, I was gently tapped on the shoulder. I looked up to see Toraya wearing the necklace I had just given him.

I was surprised to see that it looked so good on me. Toraga really looks good no matter what he wears or what he wears.

He is very, very good looking. Toramasa is a master of his craft.

Toramasa replied, somewhat embarrassed, “I see. Toramasa replied, somewhat embarrassed.

I'm so glad you're wearing something I gave you. I am really happy. I, who have no sense of taste, tried my best to choose and buy a necklace that I thought would suit Toramasa.

I feel like crying again. My tear gland is weaker than usual today.

I can't help but take a good look at Toramasa's necklace. He is wearing the gift I just gave him. I was so happy that the corner of my mouth naturally turned up, and I shifted my gaze to Toraya's eyes.

I'm so happy, it's wonderful…Thank you. I'm so happy, so happy…. Thank you for being born. Happy birthday.”

As I said it, I still started to cry.

I can't help it. Because I was able to give Toraga a gift. Because she received it.

I'm happy. I'm really happy. To be able to spend Toramasa's birthday together like this, to be able to have dinner together, to see my reflection in Toramasa's eyes on his big day.

I am so happy that Toramasa was born. I am so happy that he is alive. Thank you very much. I will always love you. I love you more than anything in the world.

I said what I was thinking and wiped my tears with my handkerchief again.

Today is Toramasa's birthday, and I feel like I'm the only one who feels good about it.

I wonder if Toramasa is happy about it. I wonder if I am the only one enjoying it.

Tears overflow, no matter how many times I wipe them away.

As my vision was distorted with tears, I wondered what kind of expression Toraya had on his face, and I looked at him while wiping my tears, but I couldn't make out his expression. –I looked at Toraga as he wiped away his tears, but I couldn't make out his expression, because he was covering his face with one hand.

I stopped moving as I looked at Torayaga, who was still standing still with his eyes covered and mouth tightly closed.

I could not call out to him.

Instead, my body naturally moved to close the distance between me and Toraya, and I hugged him tightly with both hands.

I held Toraya tightly in my arms, his body trembling and his voice muffled as he cried.

Ignoring the tears that flowed down my face, I caught him in my arms so that he wouldn't go away.

I wonder how long it has been since I hugged Toraya, and suddenly Toraya opens his mouth with a trembling voice, “I…

I've never had a birthday celebrated like this before.

I tightened my arms even more at his words.

I know Toraya's past, so I know how hard it is for him to say those words.

I know only what I've seen in the game, but even so, I know how much pain and sadness he must have been going through.

I've always wanted this kind of happiness.”

I almost cried out loud. My throat ached to hold back my voice.

My heart ached. I could feel Toramasa's feelings, and it hurt so much.

I pressed my head against Toramasa's shoulder and bit my lip as I listened to Toramasa's story of his past. I couldn't hold my voice in and let it out several times during the story.

He told me that his parents did not love him. That I had spent all my life alone. I had always longed for a birthday without being able to celebrate it. I wanted to be happy in a casual way. I wanted such trivial words as “good morning” and “good night.

He had always wanted a normal, everyday life where he would be accepted and his existence would be acknowledged.

Hearing Toraga's words about his suffering and past, rather than the knowledge of the game, allowed me to truly understand his past and weight.

Toraga is amazing. If it were me, I would be so scared, anxious, sad, and in pain that I might give up living.

And yet, Toraga lived his whole life. He has been searching for love, searching for the reason for his existence.

You gave me what I wanted. You saved me. You made me happy to be alive.”

“…….”

You make me feel alive.

…….

Mariko… thank you for acknowledging my existence.

I'm so sorry.

I couldn't do it anymore.

The most important thing to remember is that you should not be afraid to ask for help from your friends and family.

I also want to thank Toramasa. Thank you. Thank you for sharing your past with me like this. Thank you for saying that.

Thank you for acknowledging my existence in Toramasa.

Thank you.”

I could not speak properly through my tears, but I managed to convey the words to Toramasa.

I don't know if the words reached Toramasa's ears, but when I said them, he hugged me back.