Chapter 46 *Toraga's Point of View

While I was standing in the schoolyard listening to a talk by a board member, Huang Yao, who was standing nearby, spoke to me, “Aren't you tired?” I nodded my head.

This is why I don't like events. I don't know why I'm listening to this kind of talk. I think it should be simpler than this, but it doesn't seem to be so. I think it's a good idea to make it simpler, but it doesn't seem to work that way, and several of our classmates let out a big sigh on purpose as the principal began his next talk.

After the long talk was over, we went to our prepared places and did whatever we wanted.

I had never participated in a gymnastics festival in my freshman and sophomore years, and for me and Koyo, this was the first and last one. I had never participated in a gymnastics festival before because I thought it would be too much trouble, but this time I decided to take part because he was there. We were made to stand outside in the still hot weather and run. I wonder why there are events like this. I don't know.

I'm going to Mashiro's place, but Toraga is coming with me, right?”

I replied with a short “ah” to Huang Yao who called out to him, and looked for him.

Huang Yao then found something and started to run. I looked in the direction Huang Yei was heading and noticed Hanamiya sitting in the corner of the schoolyard and Mariko by his side, and I followed Huang Yei to that spot.

Huang Yoru peering at me worriedly and Mariko distancing herself from Hanamiya because of Huang Yoru's arrival.

It was the first time for me to see Mariko in a jersey, and it was fresh. Mariko is wearing a slightly larger jersey. I don't think anything of it when other guys wear it, but when I saw this guy wearing it, I thought he looked cute. I wondered if this was the weakness of being in love with her, and such thoughts popped into my head.

When he came to stay with me, I sometimes lent him my clothes. Because of the difference in size between me and him, my clothes looked much bigger when I wore them. He was so cute that sometimes I intentionally lent him clothes that were too big for him.

Of course, I never told anyone about this, and I never told him either, but every time I saw him dressed like that, my brain was filled with Mariko.

This guy is really amazing. My brain is completely filled with Mariko. I don't think so, but I don't think I could win in a fight with her. Mariko is the first person other than Mr. Ren that I've thought of in that way.

I was thinking about this for a while while I was watching Mariko, and then her eyes caught mine.

I know that she doesn't talk to me because she is at school. So I can only look at her and look into her eyes so that people around me don't notice me.

I think our eyes met for a long time. I don't think the others can see me, but even so, I don't know who is looking at what among the many students. Still, I can't take my eyes off him because I want to spend as much time as possible with him.

If this were my home instead of school, I could run up to him, call his name, keep his smile to myself, and touch his body.

When I thought about that, I remembered his behavior from before we started dating.

Remembering that, I felt satisfied and happy at the same time.

The fact that the feeling that Mariko likes me and the feeling that I like Mariko are close.

When I can understand the words and actions that didn't make sense to me before, I am happy to know that I am close to her feelings.

I tell Mariko “I love you” with just a movement of my lips without averting my gaze from her eyes.

Words that have been thrown at me by you many times before. When I was around other people before, you told me how you felt about me with just the movement of your lips. Now I understand so much better.

Then tears fell from Mariko's eyes as she watched. I held back the urge to move closer and wipe her tears, and as I watched Mariko wipe them away with the back of her hand, her lips moved and she said, “I know,” the words I had been replying to her with just a movement of her lips.

When I saw this, an unspoken emotion welled up from deep within my chest. I am sure that if I were to put this unspoken emotion into words, happy would be the closest word.

When I saw Mariko continue to murmur “I love you” with the movement of her lips, my face unconsciously relaxed.

After all, being told by you that you like me makes me the happiest. I want to touch you. I want to say your name aloud and tell you that I like you. I guess this is what it means to be overflowing with feelings of love and not being able to stop saying it.

I've met you, I've known love from you, I've known so many feelings. I know so many feelings…soooo warm feelings.

Tiger, why are you standing there?”

I remembered that this place was the schoolyard when Huang Yao called out to me.

No, it's not that I had forgotten, but I had relegated it to some distant corner of my consciousness.

Shut up.”

With that, I averted my eyes from Mariko and shifted my gaze to Huang Yoru, who was approaching me.

I punched Huang Yoru in the side, who put his arm around my shoulder with a grin and a sickening look on his face, and asked him how Hanamiya was doing. Is it really something to be that nervous about? I thought so, but to each his own. I said that Hanamiya was surprisingly sensitive, and Huang Yao said, “Yes, she is sensitive, Mashiro-chan,” and turned her gaze toward Hanamiya.

Huangya's face looking at Hanamiya. When was the last time you noticed that his face was filled with an emotion that wasn't there before?

I'm making fun of this guy, but even if we are childhood friends. I want him to be happy in his own way.

I know how Hanamiya feels, so if Huang Yoru falls in love with him, the rest will be fine. I thought so, but sometimes I want to interfere when I see them not moving on to the next step.

If Hanamiya likes Huang Yoru, why doesn't he just tell her right away? It's fun to watch Huang Yoru being pushed around, but it's annoying when Huang Yoru talks about Hanamiya to me about various things.

And I'm not the one who has to watch their farce during lunchtime. Why don't you just leave me alone and have dinner with me or something?

I'm not a kid, and I don't feel lonely eating alone. ……

I'm not a kid, and I don't think I'll be lonely eating alone. I learned to love someone when I met Mariko. It's easy to tell without thinking that my presence would have been a distraction.

(I wish I could talk to him at school, too.)

(I wish I could talk to him at school, too.) It's easy to talk to him, but I don't say it out loud because I know it's best for our relationship to stay the same afterwards.

As the four of us stood in the corner of the schoolyard for a while, we heard the announcement that the first-year students were going to run, and we walked toward the crowded schoolyard.

We took the first place and lined up side by side. I was worried about Mariko, who was at the end of the line, but I was relieved to see Reika come and line up next to Mariko.

There are no idiots who would bump into her, so if she stays by Reika's side, the little guy won't get pushed around by anyone.

The first year's turn was over and it was the second year's turn to talk with Huang Yao while catching Mariko out of the corner of his eye. I saw Mariko and Hanamiya return to the second year and start preparing.

I watched Mariko talking with a girl in the same class who said she was Ichika, and we talked nonsense until it was Mariko's turn to run.

The sound of a gunshot rings out and Mariko starts to run. The sight of her running was so cute that I couldn't help but relax.

I thought before that Mariko is a slow runner. I was not the first, but even the second to the last was cute, just like her, I thought.

I'll tell her about this when she comes to stay with me after the gymnastics festival today. He seemed to be happier than I thought he would be because he looked so happy after he finished the race. I want to praise him for his hard work. He really is ridiculously cute.

I was desperately holding my hand over my mouth to stop my face from loosening up when Huang Yao said, “Why are you looking so scared? but I ignored it. I'm serious right now, don't talk to me.

When I heard Mariko talking with Hanamiya after she came back, she said happily, “I'm glad I wasn't the last one,” so I guess I wasn't wrong after all.

In fact, I wish I could say to him right now, “You did a great job. ……

Soon after that, it will be our third year's turn.

The actual “I'm not a fan of the way you look at me, but I'm not a fan of the way you look at me.

I'm too embarrassed to say that I went for first place just to show you how good I looked, but I wanted to hear you say that, so I'm glad I worked so hard on this stupid school event.

I now understand how guys feel when they want to look good in front of the girl they like. They want to look good, right?

The gymnastics festival went on without incident, and the competitions were finished on schedule.

I could tell that the buzz among the other students was coming from the next event, a scavenger hunt, from the words I heard everywhere.

Mariko and her friends came back a short distance away with the scavenger hunt items they had left at the second grade location.

Mariko was showing Hanamiya a small frog figurine, which she had apparently written as a frog figurine. I must have been right, because I thought Mariko was cute with the palm-sized frog figurine.

The oxygen cylinder Hanamiya was holding was so shocking that I did a double-take. …… Well, I thought it was very Hanamiya-like.

Oh?” “Oh, a necklace. …… ah, a necklace.”

If it hits you, you can just run with it.

I think Huang Yao said she wrote “the person I love. Reika told me that half of the guys in our class wrote “someone I like” as a joke.

I heard that it can be the same sex, but what should I do if I win?

The probability of not winning is higher than the probability of winning, but I'm talking about probability. You don't know what will happen until it's your turn.

……If you get hit by a strange borrowed item, have Huang Yoru yell at you.

The actual “I'm not a fan of the newest and most popular” type of shoes, but I'm not a big fan of the newest and most popular.

I'm getting really nervous.

Why are you nervous?

“Because you don't know what kind of borrowing is going to come. You must be nervous.

Is that what it's like?

“…… Yes, I've been like that for a long time. The first time I was called out by a guy from Karasu High School, he looked cool as can be. ……Do you ever get nervous?”

The actual “I'm not a fan of the way you look at me, but I'm not a fan of the way you look at me,” he said.

I'm sure there are times when you get nervous.

I can't imagine.

You can say whatever you want.

I get nervous at least once in a while. I've never been nervous about anything other than what happened with Mariko. I'm sure Huang Yao is not wrong that she has never seen me nervous.

While I was talking about that, a woman who was good friends with Reika named Tanaka, a third-year student, was crying and hugging Mariko. I don't know what happened, but even from the side, seeing Tanaka crying so much that it was unusual, the other students were also disturbed.

I watched Mariko, who was comforting her, disappear with Tanaka to the edge of the schoolyard, and I said “I wonder what happened?

Soon after, it was the second year's turn and Mariko returned to the second year again.

I wondered what kind of borrowed items she was going to get.

I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of her frantically searching for something she had borrowed.

He was cute no matter what he looked like, but I didn't want to see his tearful face when he couldn't find what he was borrowing.

However, after a while when it was the second year's turn, I realized that it was neither of those things.

Mariko picked up the paper and looked at me with an anxious look on her face.

At that moment, I somehow guessed what was written on her paper.

Mariko, who was slowly approaching the goal, turned slightly to face us and showed the paper to Reika, who was nearby. Reika looked at the paper and turned her gaze to me. Following her gaze, I looked at Mariko's paper together with Huangya.

Ah, I knew that what was written on the paper was the words “someone you like.

It could be someone of the same sex, so I could run with Reika, or it could be someone I'm close with. Still, someone I like. I couldn't say anything when I thought about Mariko's feelings for me when she saw the letters “I love you.

I know very well that Mariko has been acting in a way that the other guys at school don't know about it. The fact that there hasn't been a single rumor about me and her until now is proof of that.

If I were to borrow him here, there would be people who would be suspicious. Still, he looks me in the eye and seems to want to say something.

“Are you sure?”

Even if the other guys might find out about the relationship, is it okay if they choose me in a situation where it doesn't have to be me?

Mariko shook her head as I asked her with such a feeling.

Seeing Mariko like that, I walked with her to the goal, which was already at the end of the race.

I could have run, but that way I could stay with her longer. It was such a selfish idea.

I told a lie to the gymnast, and when I returned to my original spot, Reika hit me on the shoulder with her fist.

I hit her with my fist, but with a force that didn't hurt at all. I could tell by the look on Reika's face that she wasn't angry. It's the same sickening grin I've seen before.

I can imagine what she is trying to say. I can only imagine what she was trying to say, but I didn't touch it.

When Mariko came back, we gathered in the schoolyard as if we were swapping places.

I waited for my turn, thinking about what had happened earlier, and soon it was my turn.

I wish you would stop borrowing things so weird. With this in mind, I heard the sound of gunshots and ran out to pick up a piece of paper and read the subject of the borrowing. My body was moving before my brain could comprehend the words and think of something.

I headed straight for Mariko, took her arm and headed for the goal.

I could see the surprised looks on the faces of the gymnastics committee members and students around me. Ignoring them, I cut the tape and a guy holding a flag approached me and asked, “Can I ask you a question about what you're borrowing?” I replied, “A black-haired sophomore girl.

I told him a lie and looked at Mariko. I saw her face as she was crying without uttering a sound, wiping away one tear after another with the back of her hand.

I was so surprised that I stopped wiping my hand and made a fist, as I usually do.

I think Mariko must have known what subject I was talking about. If she didn't, she wouldn't be crying so much. That's what I think.

I give a borrowed piece of paper to the second year girl who came to pick Mariko up and tell her to give it to Mariko.

She probably knows about the relationship between Mariko and me. He doesn't look surprised at this situation, but rather smiles and looks at me.

I remember the sight of Tanaka in the third grade when I saw Mariko walking to the corner of the schoolyard supported by me.

I didn't know why he was crying at that time, but maybe he was in the same situation as Mariko.

That thought was reinforced later when I saw Huang Yoru borrow Hanamiya and head to the corner of the schoolyard, supported by Huang Yoru, with Hanamiya crying just like Mariko.

Huang Yoru's face was red as he returned without Hanamiya.

He moved his eyes busily covering his mouth and fixed his gaze on me, then moved his hand away from his mouth and said, “What should I do, maybe Mashiro-chan likes me ……,” and squatted there.

After that, she said, “I don't know, but she was crying, and she cried because of that subject, doesn't that mean she likes me? Or was I mistaken?” I was busy talking to myself.

Huangya is looking at the corner of the schoolyard where Hanamiya disappeared while holding her heart.

Knowing the reason why he was holding his heart, I confirmed that his feelings were genuine, and at the same time, I let out a sigh as I imagined that Huang Yao would soon be mentioning Hanamiya's name more frequently than ever before.