Chapter 111 – You Didn’t Rape Me

Jiing.
Did he hear me using my abilities?
Kim Joo-won, who had been staring out the window without turning on the light, turned his blank gaze to me.

“Seoha.”

I heard Kim Joo-won’s voice carefully calling my name.
Seeing that empty gaze he hadn’t shown before, his heart began to ache.

“Are you awake…?”

He asked me cautiously with a smile on his face.
However, the tightly closed lips did not think to open, and the two legs moved quietly.
By throwing my body into his arms.

“Joo Won.”

And I had to answer by calling his name.

“Baby…”

Tears started flowing from my eyes.
The mother who had lost her child slowly began to shed the tears she had been holding back in the arms of the rapist, the father of the child.

“I can’t see the baby…”

One year.
If it’s long, you could say it’s long, but the times that weren’t that long for us come flooding into a corner of our hearts.
It was because those times when I could have been happy while looking at Sae-ah after running away and having a stable life started to hurt me.

“Stay ha…”
“My bird, he must be hungry… But he must have fallen asleep exhausted from crying because his mother didn’t wake up even though he was hungry.”

The feeling of waking up hungry and touching her mother’s breast.
The expression on the face of the baby, who had been fed enough to be full, was smiling.

“I’m sure he should be sleeping in the crib next to me… I can’t see the baby.”

I shouldn’t show weakness.
A mother shouldn’t be weak because of her baby.
Why am I so weak

Misery with myself rose up and stabbed me in the heart.
The thought that if she hadn’t been weak, she wouldn’t have had to take it so lightly, seemed to choke her throat.

Seruk.
I heard the sound of the hospital room door opening behind me.
I stopped crying at the sound and turned my head. I wonder if there were guardians in front of Kim Joo-won’s hospital room?

“Lee Seo-ha Lee?”

Or, the criminal who raped me.
Was there an extra manpower attached to prevent escape?

“…”
“Are you okay?”

A total of four guardians who rushed into the hospital room, all of them looked puzzled when they saw me naturally in Kim Joo-won’s arms.
That’s what I’m going to be…

“Everyone, please leave.”

You will be seen as a victim who absolutely needs to be protected from the perpetrator.

“He’s not a criminal, everyone… Please leave.”

At my words, everyone put on a puzzled expression, slowly backed away, nodded, and left the room.
Watching him, as the hospital room door closed, I dug into his arms little by little.
Kim Joo-won watched me like that and quietly held me in his arms.
After holding him in his arms for a while, he slowly opened his mouth.

“Joo Won.”

Holding me in his arms, he didn’t answer for a moment, then he lowered his head and looked at me.
You might be wondering why I didn’t call myself a criminal.
But.

“You didn’t rape me…”

They say he raped me and gave birth to a child because of it.
He’s Sae-ah’s father.

Would any child in the world like it if he said he was born of rape?
If only I could get past that fact.

“On that day, I seduced you first and you fell for that temptation.”

Sae-ah was born into a normal family, and she knew she could be a big kid with love.

“Seoha, that’s…”
“Please do.”

A moment of shaking passed in Kim Joo-won’s eyes.
She’ll know the guy too.
No matter how much I say that I didn’t get hit by him, it was done under mutual agreement.
Already, in a corner of my heart, the scars I suffered from that guy at that time still remain.

“Baby, I don’t want to make a child of a criminal.”
“…”
“Now the whole world knows what happened to you and me.”

The guy probably won’t go to jail or anything as soon as he gets out of the hospital.
Putting him in a cell and rotting like this is because Kim Joo-won’s combat talent is such that the state can never throw it away.

There.
Because I, the same guardian and victim, don’t want to punish him.

“Just you and I need to keep our mouths shut, Joo Won.”
“Seoha.”
“Because I’m fine.”

I raised my head.
Kim Joo-won met her eyes.
Because it’s a rape horse, I can never show him a smile.

“Let it be.”

After saying that, he quietly kissed Kim Joo-won.
To cover a man’s mouth.

* * *

Kim Joo-won and I’s hospital stay wasn’t as long as the last time he was admitted to the hospital.
In the first place, neither of them were ordinary people, and even while living quietly without training.
As her life as a guardian continued, her physical ability itself steadily improved, so it was natural.

That’s why, no matter how much she ran away to give birth to a child.
It is said that he lived a quiet life without revealing himself, hiding almost perfectly.

Like this now
Faced with a full-length mirror alone in a dorm room, maybe it was an unavoidable fate.

‘…’

Just like that, Kim Joo-won and I were caught again and had no choice but to return to Cheonghwa Academy.
Originally, I would have been destined to be taken to Honghwa, not Cheonghwa, and separated from Kim Joo-Won.
Just like the incident in the novel, Honghwa Academy was encroached upon by the S-class back world and ceased to function.

Thanks to that, I was able to come back to Cheonghwa without being separated from Kim Joo-won.
I don’t know if I should call this fortunate.

‘Sister, are you okay?’

Before I returned to Cheonghwa, what Seoyeon said to me lingered in my ears.
It is me who had to be dragged back to the place where I ran away to give birth to a child.
Even in the novel I wrote, the Guardian was a precious existence.
From their point of view, the human resources of Guardian candidates are so valuable.

Like that, he quietly looked at the mirror alone.
Obviously, until a few days ago, when I woke up in the morning, I would breastfeed the baby.
It seems that helping Kim Joo-won prepare her breakfast was a daily routine.
Why am I like this
Like in the old days, are you preparing to go to the academy in the dormitory?

‘Be quiet.’

I slowly looked around the dormitory room filled with dead silence.
The desolate scenery caught my eye, incomparable to the newlyweds house where Kim Joo-won and I stayed.
Cheonghwa Academy, as always, was operating as a boarding school.
Kim Joo-won and I had to come back to the dormitory as if we were dragged out of our shelter.

That’s according to the 1 person 1 room rule.
Tearing each other to force separation.

Of course, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to see.
It’s because I used Hyun-sung’s personal connections to put my breath into the academy so that he and I could belong to the same class.

But if it’s a problem, it’s probably my image.
Kim Joo-won is a man anyway, so even so, I hide that I am a woman and enter the academy dressed as a man.
I asked a man to give birth to a baby, so the two of us ran away.
I mean, she would have been branded as a crazy bitch by men.

Besides, it must look beautiful.
Maybe, as soon as you go, you might get caught up in a lot of things.

‘Bird…’

Thinking about that, I thought of Sae-ah, who seemed like she would still be held in my arms.
I can still feel the warmth of my child in my arms.
Where the hell are you, bird?

When I think of my child, tears flow from my eyes.
Her mother is weak and weak, and she cries for a while thinking of the child who will be stuck somewhere.
I remembered that it was time to feed my new baby, got her bowl, and took off her top.

My mother was such a being.
Even if you cry at the thought of your child, you can’t even cry comfortably for the child.

When the baby was later retrieved, she began to milk her breasts with her hands, not wanting the milk to be dry.
If you don’t wash the wet, it will dry later…
Precious breast milk that would have been given to Sae-ah originally.
But I had to feel my heart break as I dumped the milk into the sink.

What I’m doing right now is like proving that there is no leak by my side.
Even if I think I can’t throw it away, why am I right now.
Can’t this behavior be stopped?

“Huh…”

Like a mad bitch, she let out a mad laugh and laughed to herself with the bowl sunk in the sink.
But why, why do tears come out of my eyes?

However, even this time won’t be long for me.
A body that already had a history of running away once.
If I don’t leave, someone will come running to my room and check if I’m there.
…And Kim Joo-won.

Open the closet
The Chunghwa Academy uniform, not the Honghwa Academy uniform that had been collected and reissued, caught my eye.
As I reached for my school uniform with blank eyes, I felt the feel of the thick jacket that once helped cover my chest and waistline.

You don’t even need to dress up now.
After all, everyone knows I’m a woman.

‘He dressed up as a man with a body like this.’

I put on my school uniform, tightened my belt, and looked in the mirror.
Even the thick school uniform couldn’t completely cover her breasts.
And the hips, which could not be considered a man, subtly revealed its existence over the jacket.

How did you not get caught?
…Perhaps the memory of Lee Seo-ha that remained in my body had an effect on me in this way.

‘…Let’s go out.’

He turned and left the dormitory.
Without anticipating what might happen in the future.