Chapter 119 – Gaslighting on You

Dimension door.
A technique created by Seoha Lee, who had limited means of attack in the original work, to make the most of those limited means of attack.

As the guy said, I still don’t know how to use that skill.
In the first place, the original work was also developed from Kim Joo-won’s point of view.
I only thought that there was such a technology, but I didn’t mention in detail how it was implemented, so it might be natural.

“If it wasn’t for that, it might have been over earlier.”

The place where the lightning swept away once again, and the voice of Kim Joo-won walking out from the dust was clear to my ears.
As I clicked my tongue and put on my jacket roughly, Kim Joo-won pointed his sword at me again and carefully closed the distance.
Pajik-.
As soon as I saw the guy who instantly disappeared right in front of my eyes, I immediately surrounded the dimensional curtain in all directions.

“Joo Won, are you talking a lot?”

This time, the dimensional curtain was implemented with care to withstand the guy’s sword.
With that thin blue film in between, I saw the guy who was talking uncharacteristically, right in front of his eyes.

“Ha…”

I used dimensional transfer to instantly distance myself from him.
Momentary break.
While Kim Joo-won focused his gaze on me, a figure shimmered in the dust.

“Look around!”

I could see Jinhansu screaming from behind, and charging at him with his shield in front.
However, if he could beat Kim Joo-won with something like the ability to receive energy and recharge under the sun.

“I let it go on purpose, but it crawled into the limbs on its own.”

He couldn’t have saved the world in just 3 playthroughs.
In fact, Jin Han-soo’s attack would not do any damage to Kim Joo-won.
However, you only need to take your eyes off him once.

I know I can’t defeat him in battle anyway.
But what Kim Joo-won wants from me is not to beat himself in battle, but to use himself to find out what I can do.
That’s why, before I left earlier, he told me not to look at him.

“It’s 2 to 1, heo-eok, have you forgotten?”

If the guy looked at me because of me or something like that.
Because my growth will be delayed that much.

Even in order not to disappoint such a guy.
Purung-.
I had to listen to myself as the energy flickered away.

“No way…?”

What I just did wasn’t a consciously used dimension transfer.
Just step by step.
With just one step, the desire to get even one step closer to what she was using freely brought about.
Steps to the next level.

However, was it too much of an attempt that focused only on the desire to succeed?
Because I couldn’t control it perfectly, the moment I lost my mind for a moment because of the pain that seemed like my whole body would fall off.
Soon, an intense blow, different from Kim Joo-won, hit the whole body.

– You are dead. –

I had to lose consciousness with the message that appeared in front of my eyes.
Jinsu’s rushing blow, which I received because I was not prepared, hit me exactly.
For a while to lose consciousness like that.

“…Ah.”

When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying on the training ground with four hologram screens floating wide.

“Are you awake?”
“What, am I out of my mind?”
“Uh…”

When she turned her head to the voice she heard next to her, she saw Kim Joo-won sitting still and waiting for me.
Earlier, I guessed when I lost my mind due to the reaction in the middle of the battle.

“How about thick water?”
“The guy who ran with the shield?”
“Uh?”
“He’s already gone. He’s never collapsed like you in the first place.”
“I see.”

My vision was dizzy, but I didn’t want to show off, so I nodded at Kim Joo-won’s words and got up.
As she turned her head to her instructor’s side, we saw her completely disinterested in us.
She seemed distraught at seeing the other students.

‘Did you say it was an evaluation?’

Or, it’s a style that is a little indifferent to students like that.
It’s a good thing for me, who doesn’t want to draw much attention from the instructors.

“Shall we go?”
“Huh.”

But maybe it’s because he couldn’t properly control the dimension earlier, and the damage he received from the gap between the current dimension and the second dimension was considerable.
The sight that shook momentarily, and the body that shook after him made it impossible to control themselves.

“Seoha!”

Kim Joo-won, who was going to go with her, was surprised and made me hold on to her.

“What’s wrong all of a sudden?”
“It’s nothing, it’s okay.”
“It’s nothing.”

The back of his hand caressed my forehead.
I let out a small sigh when I saw the wet sweat on his hands.

“I wanted to serve tea…”

It was then.
After he let me go, he knelt down in front of me and opened his mouth as if forcing me to “Get on your back.”

“It’s okay.”
“Hurry.”
“I can walk…”

In an instant, he turned his head slightly and his mouth fell shut as he looked at me from the corner of his eye.
The guy who didn’t want to do that to me for a while, never showed it to me.

It was because that gaze fell on his face at that vicious time when he was training me.

“…Okay.”

In fact, just walking away was selfish in itself.
It was because my physical condition was so bad that even using my abilities was a burden.
The guy must know that too.
But even so…

“Joo Won.”
“Uh.”
“It’s good that you worry about me, but please don’t look at me like that.”

I got on the guy’s back.
The guy who was silent for a while while carrying me said, “Sorry,” And he handed me an apology.

“But, it’s Seoha.”
“Huh?”
“I know you’re very stubborn.”
“Uh.”
“How was he going to walk to the dormitory with that body?”
“…Well?”

I heard Juwon Kim sighing softly with me on his back.
With each step of his foot, one step at a time.
I could feel the weight of my chest moving on his swaying body, putting weight on his back.

“Joo Won.”
“Why.”
“Tell me honestly.”
“What.”
“You’re carrying me, it’s because you want to feel my heart rather than worry.”

I didn’t want to be bothered by being carried by him for no reason, so I threw a joke with my body for no reason.
I imagined the expression Kim Joo-won would make in front of me.
The feeling of my body, wearing only the Cheonghwa Academy uniform, without chest compressions and without tying my hair.

“Let’s feel it by touching it every day.”
“So you don’t like it?”
“…No.”

Food.
I laughed dumbfounded at his honest answer, and as I hugged him tightly, I heard a voice in front of me saying, “I’m out of breath.”

“And every day.”

I opened my mouth, remembering that he hadn’t touched me since I broke up with Sae-ah.
The guy who was walking just looking at the dormitory building stopped his feet.

“Even if I tell you not to, there are times when you touch me and harass me to death, and I don’t even touch you these days.”

Kim Joo-won carefully put me down on a nearby bench.
Kim Joo-won’s eyes, filled with unknown emotions, turned to me.
If you want to have it, you can have it anytime.
However, his gaze made her not want to touch me as she was in pain.

“Seoha.”
“Huh.”
“Do you really want me to touch you?”

The guy sitting next to me asked me cautiously.
It’s similar to when you bully me, but what’s inside is quite different from that time.
The face of a guy with no sexual desire stared right into my face.

“Well.”

I vaguely answered the guy’s question.
Because I still have that thought.
The idea that if my guy decides to get drunk anyway, he has no choice but to give it up.

“Isn’t it a bit like asking that question when you’re already drunk?”
“…”
“No matter how nice you are to me, it never changes the fact that you made me this way.”

Falling into this world of nothing, what was the first thing I experienced?
Didn’t he go through something sexually indescribable to a guy he had no connection with because of revenge?

“Joowon-ah, don’t say that you’ll be nice to me. It’s a natural thing between us now. If you touch me, I have to accept everything as it is.”

He slowly brought his hand to the boy’s head and gently squeezed his chin.
His thumb goes higher than he does and presses gently against the guy’s lower lip.

“In exchange for that, taking responsibility for me.”

During the past days, Kim Joo-won must have suffered many things from Lee Seo-ha in this real world, not me.
I don’t know what the content was, but it must have included the gaslighting that Lee Seo-ha had done to him.

“You know, when it comes to rape, it’s difficult the first time, but after the second, it’s easier than you think.”

I looked the boy straight in the eyes.
I guess I was a little crazy.
Because this guy was being so good to me that he momentarily forgot what happened to him.

“You’ve already been through the first time.”

That’s why I had to keep reminding him not to leave me.
Even if I don’t give back what happened to me, at least to dissolve what happened to him inside me.
I had to do it anyway.

“Then, the thing I do as soon as I wake up from being stabbed is touching my heart.”

This is my gaslighting you.
When I had a new baby, I lived like the guy’s wife because I couldn’t do that in front of the child.
Right now, I don’t have any children, it’s just me and him.

“So do as you please. Your body is yours.”

I smiled at Kim Joo-won, who was staring blankly at me, and then slowly got up.
The dizziness she had when she woke up had disappeared before she knew it, and her gait had returned to normal before she knew it.

“Let’s go.”

He reached out his hand and lifted the boy up.
Upon entering the building, I noticed an elevator that I had never been able to get on.
6th floor.
Even though the rooms were separated, the floors were the same, so only one light was on on the elevator button.

“You worked hard today.”

I entered the password, opened the door, and greeted the still silent guy.
Then she turned and stepped into the house, reaching for the door to close before taking off his shoes.
But.

“Seoha.”

What I touch with my hand is not a doorknob made of cold metal.

“Excuse me.”

It was his solid body.

Clap-.
Resounding from the closed door behind him.
The sound of the door being locked reached my ears.

Not the automatic door lock, but the sound of the manual lock button on the doorknob locking.