Chapter 46 – Stronger Than Drugs

Kim Joo-won, who played with me once, sits down and waits for me to stare at him.
As the focus returned to his loose eyes, he reached out his hand to me.

“That’s right. Shouldn’t you get up and change your clothes now, Seoha?”

Now, regardless of my reason, my body has become sensitive.
I was looking at him, wanting to feel the pleasure of being a woman.
Ignoring the feeling with his mental strength, he slowly raised his body, ignoring his hand.

My legs were shaking.
Is a woman’s body like this?
When I was a man, I could somehow recover and wake up.
Now, once I felt it, it was so hard to move my body right away again.

But I had to get up anyway.
If you sit still saying your body won’t move here.
Somehow forced me to get up.
Otherwise, there was a guy in front of me who would drag me into a deeper place as punishment.

“Ugh…”

But maybe I wasn’t aware of my current state.

The dress hangs around the waist.
In the current state where her bra is disheveled and her breasts are exposed.
The actions, gestures, facial expressions, and breathing that I am doing now.
Everything is just those things that make a man want to attack him right away.

I didn’t even think about covering myself up a little bit.
I slowly got up from my seat and forced myself to stand up to put on the clothes Kim Joo-won had designated, and took off the dress.

‘Ah.’

Only then did I find out.
What my current condition was.

The body that wanted to feel the pleasure of being a woman
At some point, it was in a state where it was gently tilted downwards.
It felt like something was wet, and I felt both discomfort and shame at the same time.

“Seoha, shouldn’t these be changed too?”

I heard Kim Joo-won’s voice and turned my head.
Also, when he took it out, he had a set of underwear he had never worn before.
And it was only when I saw the set of underwear in his hand that I thought about it.
If you’re a man now, you have to hide a little bit of me who makes you want to eat it right away.

But if I do things to hide myself.
Kim Joo-won was probably talking bullshit, “We’ve all seen each other anyway, so do you want me to keep making you horny?”
I’m afraid that I’ll do the things I hate the most to me for real.

“…Uh.”

How miserably.
As if leaving the most intimate part of sex to him.
I had no choice but to hold the underwear set in his hand.

Of course, if I put this on right away, I’ll wet my panties again because the bottom is still wet.

“Hey, pervert.”
“Huh?”
“I’ll wash and come out, so wait.
“Hmm, is there something dirty about saying that?”

Shut up
Because of Ji now, I have become this shape.
Are you talking about me here?

“Wait anyway.”

After saying that, she took off her dress, went into the bathroom, and reached for the shower.
But still my body still can’t sink.
Hurry up, the pleasure of being a woman that I felt from Kim Joo-won back then.
He was asking me once again.

Is that why?
The wobbly legs have returned to some extent.
As if still wanting to rub the insidious place beneath me, my legs were drawn together.
This feeling that my hand will go down and reach my place.

“I’m sorry…”

Instinct.
It seems that the desire you have as an animal before you are human is not something you can endure.
Still, my body was asking me to comfort myself.

Did I give up on that desire before I knew it?
Unknowingly, I sat down on the spot that was being kept clean, and my hand gradually went down.
Still hot.
Even as my fingertips gently touched the most secret cracks between my legs.

“Oops!”

Into the crevices of the closed teeth.
A woman’s moan, which seemed unbearable, came out softly.

‘Dangerous…’

Reason poses a danger to me more than ever.
I was warning me vehemently that if I went further than this, you would get further and further away from men.

My desire as a creature before I was a human had pushed my rationality away before I knew it.
He greedily takes the place himself.
I made my fingers brush against the red petals.

“Haa…”

Even knowing it’s dangerous.
Even though it seems like you are being pulled into the abyss.
Gradually pushing herself into it, even as she shuts her own mouth with her right hand.

“Sigh, huh…!”

Crouching down.
Masturbation for the first time as a woman.
So far, I was making the most secret valley with my hands that I hadn’t touched except when I was washing.

“Hasssss, hass…”

Body again.
It was getting hot little by little like the time when Kim Joo-won was forced to do so.
As if I had matched her feet with him, the reason that tried to protect me was gradually drifting away.

Desire.
Because I shouldn’t have been caught being a woman.
I tried to hide Lee Seo-ha as a woman.

Because of that, as a woman, except for the things I need to live without discomfort in the future.
Me, who has lived my life ignoring being a woman.

“Ouch!”

The woman’s senses that I felt for the first time were giving me the feeling of a drug that I couldn’t get out of.

Someday.
As an aspiring writer, he wanted to escape from his unsuccessful situation.
Stronger than any real drug I’ve been exposed to for a while.
It was swallowing me right now.

“Ouch, yes!”

Every time the electric current that runs through the body strikes the brain.
An intermittent groan erupted as if something had been blocked.
Breathing is really like what I’m doing.
It wasn’t the usual peaceful breath, but the female’s more erotic breath, slowly warming up the bathroom.

Just now, the finger, which had been stirring for a while thinking it was dangerous, didn’t stop anymore.
I rubbed the petals between my genitals.

Maybe that’s why Poppy secretly revealed the Klee she was protecting.
Little by little, something like a pea that should have been hanging on the top got caught on my finger.

He became infinitely sensitive and couldn’t control his flinching at the touch.
My body trembles and I feel it with all my heart.
I do my best to reveal my current state to the outside without hiding it.

“Hayeot, haah!”

I don’t know if it was a mistake at the end or what.
As soon as the tip of my finger got caught on the most sensitive bean, and I gently pressed the tip.
To the point of erasing both reason and instinct.
A brain-melting pleasure momentarily dominated my whole mind.

“Aww!”

Did something get caught in the throat?
The end of my memory was what came out of her mouth as I bit her.

I hope to be lying around in the bathtub like that for a while.
What I felt when the mind that had been distant came back.
Clearly, even though I hadn’t washed it yet, the cold sweat dripping down my forehead.

“Ah…”

How much love juice she spilled, to the extent that it made a small puddle.
Lee Seo-ha is now completely wet and sloppy.
…No, it was my most secret place as a woman.

“You crazy bastard…”

Looking at it, the first thought that came to my mind was regret.
How can I feel alone and commit this alone like this?

Fortunately, I was subconsciously afraid of putting it in a hole.
It doesn’t seem to have gone that far.
That’s it, blaming yourself for what you’ve already done.
There was still a slight reverberation, but somehow I got up and reached for the shower.

‘Lee Soo-hyun, calm down. This is not the reality you used to live in.’

I cursed at myself and looked in the mirror.
It is not the image of Lee Soo-hyun, a man who is a writer.
A woman like a character in a novel, Lee Seo-ha’s slightly relaxed appearance was reflected in it.

It says only one thing.
The current me is Lee Seo Ha-ra, not Lee Su-hyun.

Reminding myself of whose body I am currently using.
When I turned on the water, cold water gushed out of the shower as if to refresh my mind.

Is it really possible to do this?
While bathing in the cold water, washing off the body that had been soaked with the woman’s liquid shed with sweat.
Feeling ashamed of myself because of the act of comforting myself that I did with Seoha Lee’s body.
I started messing around with my complicated brain.

If it is like this, if it completely adapts to Seoha Lee’s body.
If you throw away me who was no longer a man Lee Su-hyun.
Maybe when I have a chance to go back, I might throw it away.
I shuddered at this fear and washed myself.

After taking a shower, I blankly watched the bubbles that once covered my body flowed and washed away.
Wipe yourself once with a towel, cover your head, and leave the bathroom.

“Are you late?”

I heard Kim Joo-won’s playful voice.
I put on my underwear, ignoring the eyes that seemed to guess what I was doing inside.
The moment you pick up a dryer to dry your wet hair.

“Lee Seo-ha, give me the hair dryer.”
“…?”
“Are you drying your hair?”

He took my hair dryer and sat me in front of him.
He suddenly started drying my hair with his own hands.

“Take good care of your hair. It seems to be fine so far, but if you manage it later to my liking, I might get angry and pull it all out.”

As usual, I would have said something.
Maybe it was because the current me had already drained my energy and came out to live in the bathroom.
I blankly accepted his hand.
After drying my hair like that.

“Let’s leave now, Seoha.”

After nodding his head at his words.
I picked up the skirt and shirt he had given me to go out.
Spirit has returned.
Without saying anything out of regret, I quietly put on the clothes he had chosen for me.