Chapter 74 – It’s Because of You, You Bastard

Their gazes met in the air with Yoon Si-hu.
What story did he want to hear from me?
By hearing that story, what kind of relationship do you want to have with me?

“Are you standing?”

And now, what kind of expression was I making when I saw him.

“Why?”
“Did you just hear what I said…?”
“Yeah. I heard that.”

Yoon Si-hoo’s voice came to my ears once more.
The relationship between me and Kim Joo-won.
Facts I couldn’t reveal even to the instructor who was determined to help me.

“But it’s Sihoo.”
“Huh?”
“I haven’t told you something.”

But it was a question mark.
Indeed, it is a relationship that Yoon Si-hoo did and suffered as a human being.
It’s a relationship where you have to put everything down and talk about whether you’re the kind of person you can ask for help.

“Do you know when you and I became close friends like this?”
“Uh?”
“After I revealed to you that I am a woman.”

I got up from the chair and carefully sat down in front of Yoon Shi-hoo.
Until now, the distance that had been wide enough for a normal close friend narrowed the gap between a single table.
Looking straight into Yoon Si-hoo’s eyes.

“From the day you went outside for a while and saw me returning to your room with your dimensional ability, and cautiously asked if I was a woman.”
“…Why is that suddenly?”
“Anyone, you know that everyone has something they can’t open up to, right?”

What was Sihoo thinking while listening to me at this time?
I probably won’t know for the rest of my life.
Because right now, I’m not living as a man, I’m living as a woman.

“That’s exactly what you just asked me.”
“What.”
“Sihoo, I told you back then. I was a man until a while ago.”

From the point of view of being a friend, he is indeed a good person.
When I’m sick, you run to my room without a word and take care of me.
When something bad happened, you helped me even at that late hour.

“That’s why I know. What were you thinking when you first approached me?”
“…”
“But, I know that you helped me innocently and without any cost. For that, I really appreciate it.”

But all of that heart, rather than purely liking me as a friend.
You probably know very well that this behavior stems from the heart that you don’t want the ‘woman’ you like to have a hard time.

“But that’s why I don’t think I can answer the question you asked earlier.”
“Seoha, what is that all of a sudden…”
“Because I want to remain friends with you.”

Feeling the stillness that settled in the room where the heavy air was already blowing, I felt as if my breath was choking.
Last time, you helped me when I stabbed Kim Joo-won with a knife.
This time, Kim Joo-won might have tried to help me, thinking that I hadn’t caught some weakness.

“But, if you hear this story, you and I will never be able to remain in a relationship like this.”
“Why?”
“Because there were so many things that I just couldn’t say at the level of what happened.”

But, there’s no way anyone can do that.
Stories that will make the woman in front of you look nothing but a bitch Seo-ha Lee instead of a friend Seo-ha Lee.
To see me as something less than human, only Kim Joo-won is enough.

“It’s Sihoo.”
“Uh.”
“If you honestly look at me, I’m fucking ugly.”
“Suddenly, what is that…”
“Why?

And me too, I’m getting mad at the guy who sees me as less than human.

“Especially if it’s you, I think it’s more like that.”
“Hey, Seoha Lee.”
“You’ve seen me naked twice.”

I already know that I am not normal.
And this guy in front of her is naively trying to help me because she doesn’t want to see the girl she likes struggling.

“Why do you want this? Do you want to touch it?”

She placed her hand on the hem of the T-shirt she was wearing.
Now, if I just lift this up, my chest will be wrapped in my underwear and reveal itself in front of him.

“What…”
“You’ve been sticking to me all these years because you wanted to touch this, didn’t you? Or did you want to do something more with me. That’s a bit difficult.”

As she said that, she looked at Yoon Si-hoo.
Did he even think that I was playing a joke with someone who was worried about me?
His face was a mixture of worry and anger.

“It’s Sihoo.”
“…”
“Do I look like a crazy bitch?”
“Just a little…”
“But I’m crazy.”

I’m not the main character in the novel, much less a person with strong mentality like Kim Joo-won.
A person like that was possessed in a novel overnight, and she became a woman, and she suffered such things.
There’s no way you can’t go crazy

“Now, look. This is the live performance of the girl you like.”
“…Lee Seo-ha.”
“Why?”
“Did something happen today?”
“There was.”

But, she won’t be able to cut this guy off with my will.
That night, even after hearing the things I said, he was the guy who didn’t fall away.
Well, the only way is, if I can’t cut it, then make him cut me off.

“I brought you to Kim Joo-won’s hospital room earlier. Shall I tell you what you did there?”
“Lee Seo-ha.”
“Kim Joo-won, I kissed the bastard I raped as a deal.”

For an instant, the boy’s movements stopped.
His hand, which was trying to stop me from falling into madness, stopped.

“Even if it’s a deal, huh? During the time you were taking part in the joint class, you and I did everything.”

Unable to bear it any longer, the sound of his fist striking the table resonated loudly throughout the room.
The moment the words stopped for a moment.
The moment he came to his senses, he got up from his seat and looked down at me for a moment before turning around.

“Seoha, you don’t look very well today. I’ll leave today.”

He left that one word and left the room.
Soon, the sound of the door closing echoed through the room.
Looking down, it seems to show that the relationship between me and him has cracked.
A cracked glass table caught my eye.

“Haha.”

It wasn’t broken, but I laughed at the table that was no longer usable, and then slowly got up.
A feeling of shame, wondering if I had to go this far, consumed my whole body.
I couldn’t believe that I, who wouldn’t have done this before, told these stories to cut him off while losing my normal judgment.
The fact that what I did was right.

“Fuck!”

It had already left a strong scar on my heart.

But even in this situation, why does it come to my mind?

“Kim Joo-won, you bastard!”

Is she the stone that is no different from the enemy of Cheolcheonji?

“씨발 좆같은 새끼야아!”

Screaming and screaming.
She was alone in the room, swearing at the guy who wasn’t there.
Although I struggled not to lose myself.

“Fuck you bastard…”

However, I can only release this feeling that is eating away at me by cursing at him.

“Why do I have to be like this because of you…”

It’s already with me, swearing at him is a daily routine, but there’s no way I can solve it by barely cursing.

“Our Joo-won, it’s really good.”

She absentmindedly slowly raised her body from her seat.
If you’re a bastard who drives me crazy, you’ll be able to accept my feelings right now.
Because I didn’t think I could survive without letting anyone out.

“A pretty woman like Seoha Lee visits me in the hospital even at night.”

Suddenly, the blue light disappears.
He was sitting on the bed, reading a book, and met Kim Joo-won’s gaze.

“…Lee Seo-ha?”

It’s like what’s going on at this hour.
A little surprised expression of the guy who was not expecting my visit came into my eyes.
I strode towards him, picked up his book, and tossed it aside.

“Hello, Joo Won?”

His gaze briefly moved to the book that fell on the floor and then to me.
You must have really liked the cute situation that happened to you for the first time.

“What are you doing?”
“I was reading the book you just threw…”

The guy who was quite unexpected to have come to visit me at this time was probably quite surprised by my actions.
Kim Joo-won put on a dazed expression for a moment, then reached out his finger to my face.
Steal your eyes

“Seoha, what are you doing?”
“…Why?”
“You are crying now.”

He showed me the tips of his slightly wet hands.
I was crying right now

“Why would I cry?”
“…”
“It’s because of you. You bastard.”

As he vomited his emotions out, he reached out and grabbed his collar.

*

“Ha…”

Yoon Si-hoo, who had just come out of Seo-ha Lee’s room, left the dormitory building and let out a long sigh.
A part of my heart was so frustrated.

“Lee Seo-ha…”

It is clear that her favorite her favorite Kim Joo -won was something bad for her dog.
What the hell happened to you to react like that?
And the fact that she was still in a position where she couldn’t help her was weighing heavily on her heart.

“What the hell just happened…”

Why, why, even if I try to help you, I cover him.
Could it be that you’re mentally tied to that guy right now?

I was nervous from the time I heard from the instructor that I would be mentally tied to Joo-Won Lee.
Seeing her in person, her condition was much more serious than I thought.
Hey, in front of the instructor, since she’s a higher person than herself, she can’t talk easily.
But she’s a classmate, and even to herself, who was open enough to subconsciously find herself…

She may have already been gaslighted as Kim Joo-won intended.

‘What should I do?’

It was then.
I raised my head when I heard a voice that was strangely slightly lower than Seoha Lee’s, “Yoon Shihoo?”
As if to reveal that she and Lee Seo-ha were her sisters, a woman who looked so much like her stood in front of her.

“What’s going on?”

In order to see her older sister, her younger sister Lee Seo-yeon came to her academy.