Chapter 82 – Sorry

I returned to my dorm room and looked in the mirror.
Lee Seo-ha, a boy with a pretty face but still with a neutral appearance, was there.
But if you just peel off one layer…

No, you don’t even have to peel it off.
Even if it just untied this string holding her hair together.
Even if you just make a vague expression in that state, Lee Seo-ha, who was a man, is nowhere to be found.

Only Lee Seo-ha, a woman who seems to have entered the academy while hiding that she is a man, remains.

“Lee Seo-ha…”

She raises her hand and looks in the mirror.
A beauty who would not bow down no matter where she is presented in the world comes out of her mirror and meets her gaze.
She sees me in her mirror with her empty eyes, her empty eyes.

But now she’s taking her with her broken heart.
I am trying to go to Kim Joo-won with my feet.

I’m sure he’ll ask me for that.
I know little about Lee Seo-ha, so the information he has about Lee Seo-ha is worth it.
And the guy knows that.
I think I know what he’s asking for, but I’ll have no choice but to turn to him.

‘You can do it.’

Seo-yeon doesn’t know exactly what happened that day.
All she told me was that she had just had a gossip with her brother and her father once.
Since I was quite young, I couldn’t help it because I couldn’t understand what the conversation between Lee Seo-ha and her father was.

I thought as I unbuttoned her button.
Lee Seo-ha’s father is the one who vehemently opposed her becoming her guardian.
If I meet him this time, he’ll probably tell me to leave the academy and come home.
As it is a world in a novel, my prediction is probably correct.

Of course, if that’s the case, if you follow the instructions.
Starting with Lee Seo-ha, Kim Joo-won, who will gather her colleagues and build her own team, will have a significant setback.
And that choice will drive this world to destruction.

Finally all I can do is…

“It can’t be helped, Seoha…”

I’m going to get the information, if it’s to get as much as possible when I can.
I’d rather just satisfy him properly.

I took off all my clothes and headed to the bathroom.
I don’t know what kind of taste Kim Joo-won likes.
Even what he did to me in the first place was because he was angry with me for something in the previous episode.
Doesn’t seem like it’s your taste…

‘Ha, Seoha Lee. You went until you really went.’

What I’m about to do now is to prepare myself for a night out with a man.
No matter how much I thought about it, the thought that was not normal made me laugh out loud.

Every time Kim Joo-won did that to me, you were a writer.
And you were a man
With this thought, I have been avoiding the role and feeling of being a woman, and I am doing this.

Maybe she has finally turned around.
It may be that the things I have been avoiding all this time are trying to break the restraints placed on me and try to come out through the cracks.
And I’m still rejecting them.
Even deceiving himself by saying that he couldn’t help it in order to get information and to make a deal with him.

Lukewarm rather than warm.
When I looked away from the water, I saw my wet self in the mirror.
I felt sad when I saw Lee Seo-ha as my girlfriend, and thinking how good she would have been if she was preparing this for me.
The reality was that I was getting ready for a night out with a guy.

‘This should do.’

After washing myself, I came out to my room, took out the box where I had hidden women’s clothes under the bed, and opened the lid.
However, what caught my attention was the small plastic case in the box.
It was because it contained women’s underwear, which I had bought without knowing, and which had a different texture than what I usually wear.

I don’t know Kim Joo-won’s taste.
And I know that my taste may not represent the taste of all men.
However, because he was a man, he had no choice but to know.
If you go there wearing something similar to the underwear Kim Joo-won picked out the other day.

I wonder if I can at least match that pervert’s taste to some extent.

“Hehe…”

I laughed out loud as I looked at myself in the mirror.
I couldn’t believe that the woman in the mirror was me, as if saying, “I’m going to go out with a guy tonight.”

‘Yes, this is the right thing to do.’

But while shedding a laugh, she consoled herself and put on her underwear.
On top of that, it might still be a bit early to wear in April.
Wearing short sweatpants, a T-shirt, and a thin cardigan, she opened up a second-dimensional space.

“Lee Seo-ha?”

Does Kim Joo-won spend his spare time reading books?
Sitting on the head of the bed in the hospital room, the guy who was reading a book called my name with a happy expression on his face.

“…Kim Ju-won.”

Come to think of it, had he been reading books before?
I glanced at the book, which seemed to have read quite a bit, and turned quite a few pages, and when I saw the cover with a fold, I was startled for a moment.
Perhaps, given the personality of a guy who keeps his stuff clean, that fold was the result of the last time I threw it away.

“I was reading a book.”
“What…”

He slumped down on the guardian’s bed.
I was wondering where to start the story.
He only thought about what he was asking me to do, he was the master of not worrying about anything else he got in every part.

“But what are we doing at this hour?”

At that, I glanced at my watch.
It was well past 10pm, a good time for work.
However, Kim Joo-Won seems to be showing up at this hour isn’t a bad thing either, unlike his expressionless sister, a subtle smile was already blooming on his face.

“I was wondering if you’re not dead.”
“Okay?”
“You committed suicide last time. What did you do?
“Hmm, it seems like today is the first time since that day that I came at this time.”
“…If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be okay if I understood it properly?”

Oh, this is not it.
Why do words come out so harshly in front of him?
Actually, considering what that guy did to me, it would be natural.
It shouldn’t be like that today.

“You did that to me.”
“What?”
“If I return, I will somehow find a way to return and follow you to the ends of hell.”
“Did I say that?”
“I’m not dying because I’m afraid, did you forget?”

Because I wasn’t really crazy at the time.
All I remember was that I would never let you go, no, I wouldn’t let you go.

“…I don’t know.”
“I’ll never forget it now, but.”
“Yeah. If I don’t want to see you dying, I definitely shouldn’t forget it.”

It was then.
Kim Joo-won covered the book.
Suddenly, I raised my head in surprise, and soon his shadow began to fall over me.
The moment I unknowingly swallowed my breath, wondering if he was going to touch me.

“…?”

Kim Joo-won, who took out the next book from the bookshelf next to me, looked at me with a questioning gaze.

“Seoha, why?”
“What.”
“Why are you shrinking all of a sudden?”

Then, Kim Joo-won’s hand turned toward me.
Even after saying this, I was scared for a moment because he was a guy who touched me without hesitation.
His hand just goes through my hair.

“I will never force you to do that.”

I just enjoyed the soft feel of my hair for a while and then opened the cover of the book I was going to read again.

“It’s not like I’m losing my memory.”

Kim Joo-won’s hand froze at my answer.
No matter how much you regret it, and even if you reflect on it, it doesn’t mean that the things that happened will disappear.

“…It’s okay. If you’re reflecting on yourself, don’t mess with me next time.”

Ah.
It shouldn’t be like this, but why does this guy and I become like this whenever we meet?

“Yes, I will.”

I heard Kim Joo-won’s powerless voice.
He got up and put his buttocks on the bed he was sitting on.
Then, he grabbed the hand of the guy who was about to turn over the bookshelf.

“Don’t be so mean. I really didn’t come here to say this to you.”

However, Kim Joo-won’s smile was clearly mixed with bitterness.
It’s not good for me to hurt you, Joo Won.
Swallowing those words to himself, he smiled slightly.

“Rather, I came to tell you to get well soon if you’re going to treat me well.”

Then he was silent for a while.
And I got curious.
What the hell did Seohara Lee do to him, so why did such a nice guy do such evil things?

“Seoha.”
“Why.”
“…No.”

He obviously wanted to say something to me.

“Joo Won.”

But now I have more important things to do than that, so I called his name without further questioning.
Knowing even a little about Lee Seo-ha’s father.

“I have a question.”

I’m sorry, but I feel like I’m taking advantage of his guilt.

“I’m going to visit my father this weekend.”
“…Your father?”
“Huh.”

Maybe, I thought that I could just hear the story I wanted to hear from him.

“But you know I don’t remember.”
“Uh.”
“So, why don’t you tell me as much as you know about my father?”

It made me bring out the purpose of coming here at this time.
After speaking, there was silence for a while.
While looking at each other in that silence, Kim Joo-won’s mouth slowly opened.

“Sorry.”

From what I expected, with a meaning in a completely different direction.

“I think that would be difficult.”