Chapter 83 – Can I Hit One?

As if surprised by my answer, Seo Ha stared blankly at me for a moment.
It was probably the first time.
She never asked me like this.

And it was probably the first time that he appeared sane.
She’s wearing a white T-shirt that lets her black underwear through, which might be pretty revealing.
The one who came to me wearing short sweatpants that I could touch if I just stretched out my hand.

‘Joo Won.’

I briefly recalled the moment when she held my hand and asked me with a look of longing for something.
At her breathtaking beauty, I almost said it without realizing it.
Anyway, you’ve been prepared for it too, haven’t you? I mean, coveting her body.

‘Tell me about my father.’

However, I could never tell her the truth about her.
Because she won’t be able to take what I said straight away.

The moment you hear the story, you will definitely be in pain.
Hook up with your dad, if you hear what stories I’ve heard.

In fact, I could have just answered what I knew.
Her father was against me at first because I was an orphan.
And after that, when you went crazy, you tried to drive me away from you somehow because of your words, so I had no choice but to fight him.
Because I was Lee Seo-ha’s puppet for quite a long time.

If only I hadn’t erased my anger towards you.
No, I might have just said it if the moment hadn’t come when my anger toward you was smaller than my affection.
Now you are the owner of such a heart that hurts and hurts even in small facts.
In the days when I did unspeakable things to you, I wanted to do something if it would make you suffer.

But now I don’t want to.

“Sorry.”

I know why you cling to me
But, I don’t want to make you sick.
So I can’t tell

“I think that would be difficult.”

And I had to face Seo-ha, who looked at me as if she couldn’t believe what she had heard.

*

I met Kim Joo-won’s gaze.
My only rope.
The answer that came from him, who was the only one who could provide information I didn’t know, was of a totally unexpected kind.

“Why?”

Asked him

Why? Why?
You just have to say what you know.

I wanted to say but

“Joo Won.”

He moved his feet and took off his slippers.
After the sound of something falling twice, the body on the bed began to move closer to him.

“You really can’t?”

I wondered why he was suddenly doing this.
He said he did things I didn’t normally want, he’s the guy who asked for kisses or something.
If it’s Lee Seo-ha’s body, he’s a guy who can’t use four legs…

Why do you hold on like this?

“Yeah. That sounds like a bit difficult.”
“Why?”
“…Because it’s something I don’t really want to tell you.”

A ray of sadness passed through Kim Joo-won’s eyes.
Originally, Lee Seo-ha’s family did not appear in the original work, and they probably never met in this episode.
It must have been because of what happened in the previous episode.

“Kim Joo-won said you were a regressor.”
“Uh.”
“Is it because something happened in the previous world, not in the current world?”

Kim Joo-won nodded her head at my straightforward question.
What the hell happened in the past?

Do you want to hear him say this?
And seeing him keep quiet about work in the past, I started to wonder about it.
About what happened to the alternative regressor during his long life, why he has such twisted feelings for Seoha Lee.

“Huh.”
“Is that why you can’t talk?”
“Huh.”

It was then.
Gam Ju-won reached out and wrapped her hand around my shoulder, pulling me in.
In an instant, she was half-lying on her bed, realizing that she was being held in his arms, and tried to get out.

“I’m afraid you’ll be hurt, so I can’t say anything.”

With that guy’s words, and his concern for me, I couldn’t push him away from embracing me.
It was because it looked dangerous.
If I push him out of here…

“So don’t be curious.”

For him now, Lee Seo-hara.
The person he hated the most, but loved the most, seemed more desperate than ever.

“Kim Joo-won.”
“Huh.”
“I have to go see my father right away this weekend.”
“…It will be fine.”
“Can I just go see you without telling you anything?”
“Yeah. I can’t tell you anything else, but I don’t think people are bad.”

I could feel the strength in Kim Joo-won’s arm as he embraced me.
For us regressors, I wondered what happened in the previous rounds to do this.
Knowing he wouldn’t say

“I am.”

Instead, I decided to tell a different story.

“I came here with great determination today.”

About why I appeared in front of him today as a woman without even dressing as a man.

“Resolution?”
“I have no memory of my family.”
“Uh.”
“I probably don’t know more than you.”

Holding her in her arms, she lifted her head and looked at him.
When Kim Joo-won’s eyes met, his gaze slowly widened as if he had seen something in me.

“Simply, even knowing who my father was made me cling to you.”
“He, don’t you keep in touch with her sister?”
“He doesn’t know. He was 11 when I left home.”

He wondered what I wanted to say, and he still had no idea.
I put my hand in the hand of the guy who was looking at me with a puzzled look.

“You must have known me well even before the present world.”
“…”
“Hey, do you know what I was wearing as underwear today?”

He placed his hand on the hem of my T-shirt.
Let’s hook his fingertips so that he can lift them up himself, and Kim Joo-won couldn’t contain his curiosity as a man.
He slowly began to roll up his T-shirt.

“This…”
“You seem to remember.”
“That’s what you picked out for me to wear in the past.”

Seeing the bra shyly appearing in front of it, Kim Joo-won’s eyes were colored with surprise.
At the time, I had no choice but to wear the piece of cloth, I would wear it of my own will.

“I was trying to make a deal with you.”

Maybe his feelings are starting to turn into lust for me little by little.
Until I held you in my arms, eyes filled with apologetic eyes began to stare at my body.
A feeling of heaviness, which I hadn’t felt before, began to put pressure on my lower back little by little.

“It’s Seoha, isn’t it?”

And his hand squeezed my chest tightly.
His expression softened slightly at the sudden pain he felt in his chest.
But maybe it’s because the guy’s voice contained anger for no reason.

“You’re not saying you’re going to give up your body instead of listening to me, are you?”

It must suit his taste.
In an atmosphere where he wants me too, I can exchange me with him about the past as a deal.
For some reason, the voice didn’t come out properly.

“Seoha.”

Ah.
I think I know what this feeling is.

“If that’s true.”

Fear.
I heard the voice of the time when he crushed me when he resisted.
He was looking down at me, filled with anger toward the woman named Seo-Ha Lee.

“Can I hit you once?”

Kim Joo-won quietly pushed me out of his arms and seated me right away.
His empty eyes.

No.

He regrets what he did to me.
His eyes stared at me with a cold resentment towards me.
The moment I tightly closed my eyes.

Jab-!

His palm immediately hit my cheek.
With a burst of heat, the body that had been seated immediately fell backwards.
I stumbled into an empty space right before I fell off the bed.

“Kim Joo-won…?”

Slowly getting up and looking at him, I opened my mouth with a trembling voice.
Not anger, but the question of why this bastard is suddenly like this.

“Seoha.”

Then, a voice mixed with anger and sadness came to my ears.
Did you forget that you just hit me?
He grabbed my arm again and pulled me into his arms.

“Just because I did it, don’t even take yourself seriously.”

In a voice almost crying.
As if begging, he told me so.

“Why are you selling yourself to hear that story?”

Then I realized what I had done.
That’s what I said to him now.

I’ll give you my body, so tell me what you know, something a prostitute would say.
That too, to those who love me more than themselves.

“You mean I kissed you when I said it was a deal, so you took it seriously?”

It was like that at first.
Did you have no choice but to give your heart to a guy who pushed forward with an option he could never refuse?
But after that?

“You foolish woman.”

Under the scolding voice of Kim Joo-won, his angpal hugged me tightly.

“Seoha, I’m sorry.”

However, he won’t know.
Every time I see you do that
That my heart is torn apart whenever he is in pain, the biggest victim of my novel.

“Please don’t.”
“Joo Won…”
“I really won’t do that again, so don’t treat yourself badly.”

You’re not that worthless
Rather, it is a very noble existence.
Hearing his voice, I chewed my heart out.

I don’t want to hear it.
I don’t want to see you in pain

Swallowing the words rising up inside, I looked at him.
Regret toward me, his distorted face caught my eye.
And what I did in that moment.

The kind of thing I can’t understand myself.

“…!”

With eyes closed.
With my lips, I blocked his self-harming mouth.