Chapter 87 – I Put It All in

“Kyaaak!”

It was a completely unexpected situation.
She closed her eyes in surprise at the white liquid that suddenly splashed onto her face and pulled her head back.
It was after I had already hit my face with the white liquid that came out of it.
In an instant, silence fell in the hospital room.

“…”

With his mouth closed, he brought his hand to the thick liquid.
When I wiped my face with my fingertips, pure white turbid liquid was smeared on the tip like a whitish trace.
When I turned my head and looked at him, Kim Joo-won’s face was full of regret.

“Joo Won.”

How can a boy not tolerate that?
When I asked her girlfriend, she didn’t seem to be so stimulating that she was cold all at once.

“You don’t want to do it with me?”
“…No way.”
“But I can’t stand that either, uh…”

Words that could scratch the man’s pride came out, but he shut his mouth for a moment.
He must have heard it already, but I could see that his expression filled with apologetic momentary hardened.
Take a moment to wipe your face with the wet tissue you got from him.

“Seoha.”

Then he grabbed my wrist and took the condom, and at the same time he forced me into the position where he was lying.
He looked down at me with a hard expression and called out my name.

“I’m just really curious.”
“What.”
“Have you really never met a man?”

Is this kid crazy
Are you really saying you don’t want to be with me?

“What do you mean, did you forget to tell me that if I talk nonsense, I’ll just leave?”
“No?”
“Ha, not really.”
“But you know, where and what did you do so well with your hands?”

At that moment, his hand gently grabbed my wrist.

“Wouldn’t it be too conscientious to just openly touch it as if to fight, and then say something about not being able to stand it?”

Maybe the guy I just spat out had a little bit of a wound.
… To be honest, I thought it was a bit over the line.
But if you say it like that, what should I say?

“…Because he was a man.”

Of course, I also have something to say.
Honestly, if it wasn’t for the psychological stimulation that a woman would do, it would be the hand technique of a man who comforted himself many times.

“What?”
“I’m a man too, and I must have masturbated quite a bit, but that hand technique could be a bit better.”

Wouldn’t it be much better than a woman?

“Why do you keep meeting men? What are you saying?”

In a disgruntled voice, he quietly grumbled at him and began to stare into his eyes.
As having a gun and pulling the trigger are two completely different things.
As soon as I said this, a feeling of shame came over me.

“Ah.”
“…And maybe you can do better, aren’t you doing too much?”

In the first place, I wasn’t gay, and I couldn’t have met a guy and did this or that.
It took a lot of determination to be with you right now as a woman.

“Aren’t you sorry for tearing my virgin and saying that?”

Either way, my virgin has already been taken away by him because of what happened last time.
To listen to them talk like that after they put that ugly thing on me and make me a non-virgin.
I wondered what all this was about.
I even had doubts about whether I should dig into his past while listening to this.

“If you’re not going to do it, get out of the way, I’m going.”
“Seoha.”
“If you’re going to make fun of people like that, just let it go!”

Heat radiated from within me, trying to push away the body that was standing on top of me like a stone.
But Kim Joo-won took my hand as I tried to push him away, and brought his face closer and kissed him again.
It’s like the behavior of the guy who is trying to save the atmosphere now.
The moment I was about to laugh while licking my lips.

“I’m sorry…”

Before I knew it, I let go of his wrist and kissed his chest, protruding from the side.
I could feel my breath breaking at the end of the guy’s fingertips.

“I’m sorry Seoha.”

A brief kiss.
Right after that, he looked down at me and handed me a short apology.

“Now I’m not kidding and I’m going to be serious, so can you relieve my anger?”
“…If that’s the case, why don’t you play around from the time I told you not to.”
“Okay. I’m really not kidding.”
“Oh, you, really!”

And with the nipple held again.
Even after ejaculating, as if nothing was wrong, the thing of that guy who was holding down the area near my lower mouth grew ugly again.

“…If you play around with me one more time, then I’ll really just leave.”
“Okay.”

But even so, his hand stroking my hair without violating me right away.

“Then, could you wait a bit?”

He nodded, and Kim Joo-won, who stood up, ripped open his new wrapping plastic and began to put a thin rubber film on his belongings.
He also knew how to write, but pretended not to know.

“It’s embarrassing to look at you like that.”

His expression didn’t change, and he glared at the guy who spoke casually.
They put people under them and crushed them, so there’s nowhere else to look.
Are you telling me to close your eyes at all?

“You said you didn’t know how to write.”
“That’s because I hoped you covered it.”
“Kim Joo-won, you lied again.”
“You should have seen yourself earlier.”

When I expressed my small dissatisfaction, Kim Joo-won grinned and gently brushed my side with his hand.
Then, for a moment, I hoped that my sensitive body, which had been naked since earlier, would tremble slowly at the momentary touch.
His hands grabbed both of my legs and spread them left and right, revealing my bottom in front of him.

“Seoha.”

At the same time, he called me with a voice full of affection.

“Are you okay?”

I looked away.
I was ashamed to die.
To open your legs in front of a man and allow him to come in between them…

“Mo, I don’t know…”

Kim Joo-won, rather than putting his own right under me, did he want to enjoy a woman named Lee Seo, at least for a while.
While I was intentionally avoiding my gaze, instead of his belongings entering the deepest part of me.
It felt as if something had pressed the most secret skin that held the flower petals and spread it from side to side.

“Huh…”

Then, along with a shudder that ran through my entire body, a small, unbearable moan flowed out.
It is a body that has repeatedly received a lot of stimulation and then cooled down.
However, far from completely cooling off, only residual heat accumulated and the sensitive body reacted to that small stimulus.

“You’re really very naughty, Seoha.”

It heats up right away, and I end up in a state where I feel like I’m going to cling to him asking me to violate it.

“…Transformation.”

I only answer one word to the embarrassing words that I spit casually, and quietly accept the guy’s touch.
Did he really want to see underneath me, which he hadn’t been able to see closely before?
Or did he want to feel a sense of conquest, taking control of the most private part of me?

“Before and now, you are pretty.”

Or did he want to see the woman he loved in the past, Seo Ha Lee, in me.

“Seoha.”
“Eww, why…”
“I don’t think I can stand it anymore.”

Opening the petals hidden in the cracks between the mounds, Kim Joo-won, who had been touching me, finally came closer to me as if to insert them.
My heart was beating like crazy.
But I still had to answer.

“…Do as you please.”

Rape must have been a wound for him too, and because of that wound, he will wait ignorantly until I allow it.
Tonight, I’m all yours

As if he had waited for those words, he slowly dug into his skin and began to feel as if something was creeping in underneath him little by little.
Maybe in a little while, his stuff will come into my body.
That’s how I’ll mix my body with him and spend the night like that in his arms as a woman today.

“Can I hold your hand?”

The hand that covered his mouth and nose trembled slowly.
It was because the memory of the rape started to dig into me again little by little.
Even if it didn’t turn me over as strongly as before, those memories were definitely affecting me at this moment.

And the trembling of my hands must have been seen by him.
Before I could answer, he gently held my hand.

“I’m too shy…”

Then my shameful face, which I really did not want to show, appeared in front of him for the first time.
I’ve always looked at him with contempt, got angry, or just cried.
Whenever I deal with him, there is always fear, fear, or anger at the root of those feelings.

“You don’t have to be shy.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to show it.”
“Why? You’re so pretty. Really.”

But now this feeling…
What the hell is it?
Why is my heart beating so fast even though I don’t want to show my face to him?

“Really, to the point that I don’t want to give it to anyone.”

I spat out a sound of pain in Kim Joo-won’s voice.
If only he had been nice to me from the moment he first saw me.
How was I really behaving by now?

“Please stop talking embarrassingly…”
“Ku-ku, you’re cute.”

It was then.
The guy who let go of my hand finally put his hand on my waist as if to start.
Then he carefully asked me, “Can I put it in now?”
As I nodded my head at that question, I felt a foreign body, as if something big was squeezing in under my cramped body.

“Huh…!”

I didn’t want to show an embarrassing appearance, so I held back my moaning while clenching my teeth as much as I could.
How the hell is that big
The moment I barely endured it, gripping the bedspread, under a pressure that I had never felt before.

“I put everything in.”

When I slowly turned my head to the guy’s words, I could see the bottom of the guy and me who were really touching each other.
My body had succeeded in completely accepting his hideousness.

“Are you okay?”
“…Yes.”

He lifted his downward gaze and slowly met Kim Joo-won’s gaze.
The face he saw with his eyes wide open.

I don’t know why, but he looked really handsome.