Chapter 89 – It Won’t Hurt if You Don’t Know

In the empty seat where Seoha left, I was lost in thought in the hospital room where I was left alone.
It was something he had never thought of.
That she got pregnant because of me.

“Whoa.”

Originally, in the Guardian society, supply is extremely small compared to demand, to the extent that even a small number of vacancies are very concerned.
Even at the present time, when giving birth to the next generation has become a fairly important task to maintain society.
In my 20s, when I was physically at my peak, I even controlled women to prevent them from getting pregnant.

Seoha Lee there.
An up-and-comer who is sure to become one of the main Guardians with his dimensional ability in the future.
If anyone finds out that she has a baby, she will probably be forced to the operating table against her own will.

Seo Ha now is a completely different person from the Seo Ha of the past.
Especially since she was trying to carry all the burdens alone.
And she’s obviously, she’s going to take responsibility for that child somehow this time too.

“Fuck.”

Spat out insults
She felt a terrible sense of shame in herself.

What the hell have I done?
Is this what you wanted, Kim Joo-won?
It’s not enough that she arbitrarily carries her heavy burden on the innocent girl, leaving her with scars that will never be erased for the rest of her life.

‘Is this really true, Kim Joo-won?’

Until now, she has never had a child with Lee Seo-ha.
Even if she appeared in her physical prime, she would definitely be forcibly erased, so there was no reason to have her.
In the first place, she couldn’t make it to the stage where she and her stable family were because of her current address with me and her Seoha Lee.

So it was something she had never even thought about.
The very fact that I have a family, as I have never had a family in my life.
The very fact that a child is born because of me.

‘This is not the time to be like this.’

She had apparently told Seoha that she would be inspected as soon as she returned to her dorm room.
How much time has passed
At this time, would you rather be in a lecture room rather than a room?

“Whoa.”

I took off her patient uniform and took out the uniform I had hung up in her closet and put it on her body.
If she recalls the time she usually came to the academy, she’d probably be in the classroom by now.

In any case, the body is fully recovered.
There was no difficulty in using her abilities.
Although she has been well rested and the condition she has recovered has allowed her to move her feet more quickly than ever before.

“Kim Joo-won?”

Lee Seo-ha was nowhere to be found in the classroom, and only Yoon Shi-hoo remained.

“You talk to me.”

Her searing eyes were staring at herself with hostility.
But now, since I had no time to pay attention to that other guy, I ignored his words and turned away.

“Hey, where are you going!”

She started running toward the dormitory, ignoring Sihoo Yoon’s shouts to catch her from behind.
Begging you to stay there

‘Please stay there.’

Beep beep beep-!
Arriving at the front door of Seoha Lee’s room, she pressed her door lock password.

“Kim Joo-won…?”

Fortunately for her, she was found inside her room, sitting on her bed.
With her changing into her comfortable clothes, she was looking at what was supposed to be her pregnancy test machine.

‘Two lines…’

Maybe she didn’t want to show me the results either.
Seeing me, he hurriedly hid what he was holding behind his back, but I could see it.

Clearly stamped, with two bright red lines drawn on it.

“Seoha.”

Called her name
As expected, she is stupid and hates her for trying to shoulder everything alone.
And I was resentful of why people were so kind that they seemed ugly.

“Ugh, go, why are you doing this all of a sudden?”

He ran to her and hugged her in her arms.
Feeling that I can no longer let go of her, who is a different person from Seoha Lee from the past I knew of her until the previous episode.

*

“What…?”

As soon as Yoon Shi-hoo, who was greeting me, stopped talking, his emotions began to shake violently.
The only person who knows what I’ve been through.

“Seoha, what did you just say…”

It’s like you’re just wondering if you heard it right.
With a trembling voice, Yoon Shi-hoo asked me carefully.

Food.
Yoon Shi-hoo’s reaction made me laugh.
Strictly speaking, this has absolutely nothing to do with you.

“What, did you believe that?”

Is it right to forcefully show my torn heart to you, who has nothing to do with it, to embrace it?

“Hey, it can’t be.”
“Yes?”
“There’s something else to believe in, why do you believe in that?”

It was then.
Was it really surprising to me?
At that moment, Yoon Shi-hoo’s index finger flew to my forehead, and I felt a brief thrill along with her snapping sound.
When I looked at the guy who suddenly blew the night away, he let out a sigh and spoke to me in a stunned voice.

“But you just crossed the line with that prank, you know?”
“Okay, sorry.”

Okay.
Is this right.
For those who have nothing to do with each other, it’s only right that they don’t share painful feelings.

“Oh, but I was really surprised.”
“Do you even believe it?”

Saying that, he got up from his seat.

“Huh? Seo Ha. Where are you going?”
“Just.”

Is it normal to have a casual conversation and close your eyes for a short time in the morning?
Yoon Shi-hoo, who knew him, looked at him with a curious look, and smiled at him.

“I’m not feeling well.”

After giving a rough answer, I entered the two-dimensional space as if I was running away, exited the classroom, and headed for the instructor’s office.

“Lee Seo-ha?”

Did you not expect at all that I would come?
The instructor looked away from the monitor and turned his head toward me with an expression as if asking what was going on here.

“What’s going on?”
“That’s why I feel a little unwell today…”

You have to speak as naturally as possible, Seoha Lee.
So you won’t be noticed

“I just want to rest for a day…”

That you are pregnant.
Tell me how you feel now

“Are you not feeling well?”
“I think it’s a bit like that.”

I felt the instructor’s gaze scan me up and down.
But I was rather relieved by his actions.
The situation I’m in right now is the same.

“Hmm, I understand. Then go in and rest for the day.”

In the meantime, I thoroughly acted Lee Seo-ha, the second-ranked student, and showed my appearance as a model student quite well.
Trust me without knowing that I’m lying now.

“Thank you.”
“If the condition is very bad, the medical team must stop by.”
“All right.”

I’ll give you the time of the day

Conscience stabbed.
The subject of pushing away someone who was supposed to help me, the fact that I even lied to him to get what I wanted made me disgust myself.

Is this right?
Do you really have to lie to the instructor who helped you?

“Then suffer.”
“Rest, see you tomorrow.”
“Yes.”

However, it was so complicated in my head that even such disgust did not last long.
The little life inside of me that came looking for me will live without knowing my fate.
The thought that being a mother is holding me tight without knowing that I had thought of erasing it first.

‘Why did you come to me…’

I was terribly torturing myself.
Because you’ve heard it all
The words I said to Kim Joo-won, that if I had a child, I would walk away and erase them.

But, even so, I am a mother.
I thought of erasing it once it happened, but the way I was so attached to myself as a mother.
It hurt so much to do this to me, who even took medicine to not have children.

‘Could this be maternal love?’

Things and emotions that I hadn’t even thought about came flooding in little by little.
In fact, almost everything he said in Kim Joo-won’s hospital room was sincere.
Wonlan: As soon as I confirmed that there were really two lines, I was going to run to the medical team and tell them to get rid of my baby because I’m pregnant.

But now I just can’t.
I can’t seem to give up on this child who came to me as a mother.
This girl’s fault is that she is just a mother and came to see me.
That’s not why this kid has to die.

“Lee Seo-ha.”

But did the instructor have something to say?
As I was about to leave quietly after saying hello to the instructor, his voice caught my feet.
After looking around for a while, he confirmed that no one was there, let out a small sigh, and asked me cautiously.

“Do you still have any change in your thoughts?”

Do you have no change in your thoughts?
What are you talking about all of a sudden

“I’m asking if you still want to go here.”

I was lost in thought for a moment at the instructor’s words.
Why are you suddenly asking such a thing?
I think I clearly communicated my intentions correctly.

“Yes.”

After hearing the answer, the instructor was silent for a while.
Did I even think that my thoughts would have changed in the short period of about a month that Kim Joo-won was hospitalized?

“…I see, I understand.”
“Then stop…”
“Seoha.”

Her body trembled.
In public settings, he was unconditionally called by his last name.

“No, go in carefully and rest.”

What did the replacement instructor want to say to me?
Did he still want to send me to Honghwa?

But.
Lee Seo-ha is a child of a conglomerate family, and took advantage of her male gender identity to enter Chunghwa Academy, a male academy, as a female.
He must be a very dangerous person.

“Then…”

To return to the dormitory room, I re-entered the 2D space.
Last night.
The neatly organized room caught my eye, as if I had left clear traces of my preparation and departure.

‘Ah…’

I changed into comfortable clothes and sat down on the bed, putting my hand on my stomach.
I couldn’t believe it.
I don’t think I’ve changed at all, but there’s a child in here.

‘Two lines.’

I let out a small sigh as I looked at the pregnancy test in my hand, with two lines clearly printed on it.
Because I was really at a loss as to what to do next.
According to my world view of the novel, as long as they know that I am pregnant, they will surely catch me somehow and erase this child.

‘What should I do…’

That moment.
Suddenly, I heard the door key in the room and I looked up.
He must be the only one who knows the password to my room.

“Kim Joo-won…?”

As expected, the one who entered my room was Kim Joo-won, wearing a school uniform, probably trying to go to the academy.
Why is this guy here…

‘You saw it?’

I hurriedly hid the tester I was holding behind my back.
It was because I didn’t want to know too much about the fact that I was pregnant.

Even if you are the child’s father.
If it’s going to be erased anyway…

I’d rather just not know.

It won’t hurt if you don’t know.

“Seoha.”

After that, make eye contact with him for a moment.
Did Kim Joo-won really think that something happened to me?

“Go? Why are you like this all of a sudden?”

He came up to me and suddenly took me into his arms.
I was startled for a moment and tried to push him away, but Kim Joo-won still held me tight in his arms.

‘I have to hide it…’

She was quietly cradled in his arms, holding a clumsy tester behind her back.