Chapter 94 – Submerged Into Sleep

“Hey, is that Kim Joo-won?”
“Really handsome.”
“I thought there wouldn’t be any good-looking kids this year.”

There were whispers all around.
I felt uncomfortable.
It would have been better if Seoha had told me about it, but I was quite offended when people I didn’t know were saying things like that.

‘Because I don’t want to cause trouble.’

However, instead of fulfilling my duty as a guardian, I chose a child and ran away.
It’s a stable life that I somehow found, but I just put up with it because I didn’t want to mess with everything just because it made me feel uncomfortable.
However, no matter how much I wear glasses, I wear it normally so as not to be noticed by others as much as possible.

“Hey, by any chance, was your name Kim Joo-won?”

The students at the university, especially the women, didn’t seem willing to let me go easily.
I’m not even handsome, why?

I always think so.
It was like that in the past, and even now, Seoha and I are not trivial reasons like appearance, but it is because of the strong bond between me and her.
Although it was a bad relationship this time…
Anyway, I thought that’s why he stayed with me even though he had all the conditions to meet a man who was much better than a bastard like me.

“Can I sit next to you?”

What was your name
I didn’t really want to get involved, so I went alone, but I don’t know who it was.

“…”

Without answering, she turned her head forward again.
It wasn’t the meaning of permission, it was just an act of fearing that I might say a word wrong.
Even if it wasn’t the seat next to me, there were plenty of empty seats.

But did she take my words as permission?
Seeing her sitting next to her, she wondered if she should use that method.
She turned on the screen of the phone she had put down beside her and naturally revealed the picture she and Seoha had taken as the background screen.

If I dare to say a little mean thing because they also did this and that with my appearance.
The purpose was to show her beauty, which was incomparable to the squids sitting next to her.

‘Hey, I can’t do that.’
‘What?’
‘I’m sure there are some kids who get entangled even if you dress normally.’

Come to think of it, when was this time?
Actually, the reason for taking this photo was not particularly special.
It wasn’t until she was full, but she was quite full. After she said that, she suddenly got up from her seat and took my phone.

‘Come to work.’
‘Is it Seoha?’
‘Take a little picture with me.’

Before finding a proper house, it was when I lived for a short time in a single room that was not very spacious.
Seo-ha suddenly grabbed my shoulders and pulled me as if she were taking a picture of her as a couple.
She took a picture of me as close to herself as possible.

‘When you go to school later, girls will definitely be attracted to you, right? So, set this as your wallpaper and show it to me while pretending to be looking at my phone when I’m close to you.’
‘I took the picture without wearing a lens, is that okay?’
‘… Why are my eyes blue? Anyway, even if I show you this, if you talk nonsense about having a meal, fire it because your wife is waiting for you at home.’
‘Isn’t that your girlfriend?’
‘It’s a fake identity, but I registered my marriage, so wouldn’t it be okay? Anyway, half of what’s in this is your genes.’

In the moment, at the conversation intertwined with the photo, she ate and smiled to herself.
Although it started with the wrong relationship with me.
Because she was like that, she was always angry and only showed hatred, but when she lived through it, those kinds of appearances were quite fresh.
I really wanted to be a different person from the Lee Seohas I knew.

“Here, Joo Won.”

It was then.
I heard a voice that broke my thoughts and turned my head slightly to the side. An unknown motive was looking at me with eyes full of curiosity.

“Who is that girl in the background, my girlfriend?”

Are you curious, or are you wary?
I’m your girlfriend…

‘Yeah, what the hell is it?’

When I heard that, I started to wonder what Seoha and I were really related to.
The beginning of me and her was not something sweet like love, but a lifelike desire for revenge.
At this point, she immediately wondered if it was okay to call her her wife just because she had registered her marriage under a false identity.

“Not a girlfriend, but a wife.”

But because Seoha told me to do so…
At least I can say this right now.

“Huh? What?”
“I’m not a girlfriend, I’m a wife.”
Ah, you shouldn’t smile while looking at Seoha.
I’m with her, she’s just her petty sinner.
Why does her smile come out when I see her?

“I have children too.”

Did you think she was just a girlfriend?
But now, to Seo Ha, she is not a person in that simple sense.
At the same time as the subject of atonement.

My everything itself.

“Oh, yes. I see…”

As Seoha said, it was a sure method.
If you saw that shy expression, what kind of expression would you make?
In fact, it would be more certain to come to school in my arms instead of that, but…
I can’t wish for something like that.

– What are you doing?

Come to think of it, what would Seoha be doing right now?
She was acting, and as a human being, she knew she shouldn’t be like this, but she had no choice but to let her hand go, so she carefully sent a message to Seoha.

– I went out and came back to sleep.

Come to think of it, she said she would meet the person in charge today for a while.
Actually, because of this, I really wanted to fall into it today.
Because she knows what a penalty it is to a woman’s life to have a baby at twenty one.
Of course, that’s what she said she would do, but the day she stood up she was forced to go to school.

‘I’m really sorry.’

No matter what really happened to her, she turned off her phone screen and put it in her pocket, thinking that he would never betray her.
The professor came in at the front of the classroom.
I’m pushing you to do my job this far, but I can’t neglect it.

*

“Whoops.”

She let out a quiet laugh and gently placed her finger on the sleeping bird’s cheek.
Baby’s cheeks were like drugs to her mother.
Why can’t she stop touching her child’s cheek, especially when she knows it’s better not to touch her child’s cheek while she’s sleeping?

‘Ha, I have to work, but I don’t want to get up.’

Lying next to her bird sleeping on her cushion on her bed made her feel like an idler.
Since she became Seoha Lee, she seems like this far she has never been lazy.
How come she doesn’t want to wake up just because she’s lying next to her baby, right next to this cute creature, looking at him.

‘The real Lee Seo-ha, I get lost because I’m lazy.’

She sighed and smiled, recalling the first time she knew she was carrying a child.
That moment when she was alone in a delusion and said she would erase it.
Does she know the child
The bitch being my mom, the fact that she tried to kill herself before she saw the light of day.

‘Ha, it shouldn’t be like this.’

Why do bad thoughts come to my mind when I’m alone?
After running away from the academy, it seems like it has always been like that since life has stabilized.
All alone at home, every time the child fell asleep and became completely alone.

Well, maybe this could be better.
When I was pregnant, it was before the baby was born, so when Kim Joo-won said he was studying for the GED and the CSAT, he was almost always alone when he went to the academy.
Actually, I sent it…

“When”

“Joo Won…”

Maybe the guy doesn’t know.
While I was alone like this, at first, I cried alone because I felt sorry for my situation, which seemed to be sinking into sleep.
Then the fact that she cried just being alone.
And, the reason I picked up the pen again was because I wanted to forget this terrible reality.

“Whoa…”

He let out a small sigh.
Actually, I didn’t really want to pick up the pen again.
In the world I created, I got up from my seat to write a novel again, the only way to make me forget the reality.

“Sweetie, sleep well.”

Carefully, he gently lifted her up and laid her down on the crib, then greeted Sae-ah.
As soon as she entered, she carefully took off her clothes, which she hadn’t even changed because she was nursing her baby and putting her to sleep.
Then, Seoha Lee, wearing only her underwear, caught my eye on the dressing table mirror that I rarely use in my room.

Then, before he left, I remembered the situation where I forcibly stopped the guy who was trying to covet me.
More than the day I was sleeping naked, as soon as I woke up, I even touched my pussy as if I had endured it until then.
Even though he kissed me and even held his things in my hand.
I remembered the guy who couldn’t violate me and forcibly sent me to school.

Maybe that passion is built up inside.
Even I, who is alone like this right now, thinking about that makes my body start to want him.
If that guy is in full swing…

‘Wait a little, Lee Seo-ha.’

I sat down and forced my heart to beat.
Anyway, he’ll be back in an hour or two, and then I’ll be able to use his sexual desire as a means to satisfy my desire.
If I greet him with only my underwear on, he’ll probably not be able to stand it and try to attack me right away.
Then I’ll probably be captured by him again.

‘It’s not long.’

It was low.
It’s like covering up depression with desire.

However, I laughed at the reality that I had no choice but to do so.
In the first place, my relationship with him started by trampling on the most intimate parts of each other, so I rationalized that there was nothing I could do about it.
That thought didn’t leave my head.

So even after washing my body and quietly sitting in a chair and turning on the laptop I had turned off, I couldn’t work.
In vain, how much precious time was wasted.

“Seoha, I’m here.”

She stood up and wore only erotic underwear to the extent that the color of her nipples could be seen through.
I cautiously entered the room and met Kim Joo-won’s gaze.
Then, the body of the guy who was about to say hello naturally stopped momentarily and froze for a while.

“Joo Won-ah, I’ve been waiting for you.”

I put my hand on the frozen chest and raised his head, and soon his hand wrapped around the back of my head.
Feeling his lips overlap mine, I closed my eyes and quietly accepted the touch.