Chapter 81 – Distancing (1)

．

My brother quietly followed me, noticing that I was in a bad mood, and as soon as I got home, I sat down on the sofa with my arms crossed.
My younger brother sat next to me while giggling, and I looked at my cell phone, not my younger brother… I replied to the messages that kept coming.

“When studying abroad, a strange community is formed among Korean children.”
“Yes?”
“I’m telling you because I don’t know and think it’s like that. This community doesn’t look great, but it’s more annoying than I thought. There must be tens of thousands of Korean students in Beijing, and there are about 3,000 Korean students in our school alone. There are things that help me get a job just by keeping in touch, and I’m not the type to care about each and every one of people’s evaluations… Would you like to come and look at your phone?”

I showed my messenger window to my brother.
In the message, everyone asks who my boyfriend is, are you dating a boyfriend, do you have a boyfriend? Say… There were a lot of messages from people I didn’t really contact, and it was hard to reply to them all.

“… Why are you doing this?”
“Iknow, right… No matter how much I confess for 4 years, I have no intention of dating, I don’t date a boyfriend, and even if I date, I don’t even hold hands, so I’m proud, I’m a queen, and there are rumors that I’m a lesbian… What’s the big deal that the person with the widest feet among the international students posted on social media after spending so much money to find out he had a boyfriend? Right?”

My younger brother couldn’t hide his embarrassment whenever I said something, probably because it was the first time I had treated him so coldly. He was a much taller and muscular boy than me, and I thought it was awkward for him to stop moving at a word I said, but I didn’t pay much attention to him because he was angry.

“No, not that… Is this something worth contacting if your sister has a boyfriend?”
“I guess that’s the case with them.”
“Why are you so interested in other things? You don’t even have to worry about your sister…”
“No matter what, there are people I’ve been with for years, and there are people I’m close to. I can see that rumors about me are circulating among all of those people and that they are not true. How can I not care?”

The more my brother listened to me, the more he became more and more weepy.
When I saw that scene, my heart grew weaker and weaker… I tried not to show off, and I spoke sternly.

“And… Let’s talk. Why is that?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you for kicking me out because I didn’t like that person, but I know you separately, so why did you say that you were my younger sister and my boyfriend?”
“That…”
“My boyfriend… While not…”

While talking, for some reason, my chest suddenly felt tight, and I sighed several times.
My younger brother didn’t answer me a word and just stared at me.
He seemed to be thinking about something, but the words didn’t come out of his mouth, so he opened and closed his mouth several times.
As if I was hurt by my words, I felt like I was going to cry right away. I kept my mouth shut because I suddenly remembered the images of my younger brother that he had been wanting to reveal as if he had something to do with me.

Just thinking about it… Since I went on a trip to Hong Kong, things have gotten bigger every day, like being swept away by waves, so I didn’t have time to calmly think about it.
My brother and I were too close to be cool, and we stayed together and slept together… As we got closer, it became increasingly difficult to control ourselves, and it seemed like we couldn’t hide our desire for each other’s bodies like animals.
Just as I cleaned the house all day today, I thought it would be dangerous if I didn’t clean it up here, so I unconsciously held my brother’s hand and soothed him with a worried voice.

“Excuse me… No matter how much my sister looks like a woman, we’re brother and sister… Right… ?”
“… Yes.”
“Even to my sister, she looks like a man… Still, that’s not okay…”
“Ha…”
“I know that my older sister keeps accumulating desires, and I know that they pile up on her… She helped me relieve my desires, but she helped me to study hard… Originally, it shouldn’t be like that. So she’s being very careful not to have sex…”

My younger brother stayed still without answering and then took my hand, and I gently stroked my hand and spoke softly and quietly as if to calm him down.

“Since you are my sister… You haven’t had sex and you’ve tolerated it well until now. Right… ?”
“… Yes.”
“I let my sister play with a lot of her baby’s room… I was curious about what the inside was like, so I tried inserting it deep into the cock…”
“Yes, yes…”
“It’s just a little help for the cock, noona is not a masturbation tool…”

… After talking for some reason, he was trying to scold me for not doing that, but I felt like I was getting more embarrassed for no reason.
Looking closely, I wonder if my younger brother was excited to hear what I said… The pants dance came up and I was startled and embarrassed.

“I’m scolded… What if I grow up?”
“… Noona is too hot.”
“You keep saying it’s erotic… If you say that, your sister doesn’t know very well.”

I really don’t know why it’s so erotic, but there are times when my younger brother gets excited, so I was very embarrassed.
I also think it’s very erotic when my sister moves like spreading her fingers to enlarge the screen of her phone, or when she licks candy she bought me to eat because she needs sugar while studying, but… It wasn’t to the point of getting wet, like my little brother would grow up.

My younger brother grabbed my hand and I was so nervous that my heart was pounding and the back of my neck was stiff.
When I look at my sister’s eyes, I can feel that she really wants to have sex, and it’s a bit like a puppy… She seemed to be patient after hearing the command to wait before feeding, and I felt that her sister was putting up with her so much that her face became hot.

“I want to do it with my sister, so I can’t stand it… ?”
“Yes.”
“Even if you help me with semen removal… Do you want to do it?”
“… Rather, I want to do more.”

I listened to my brother and took a deep breath quietly.
I also became weird enough to imagine having sex just by listening to my sister, and the happiness and pleasure of rubbing the inside of her a lot came to mind… That shouldn’t have happened.
Suddenly, when I was riding the ferris wheel in Hong Kong, I remembered the conversation I had with my younger brother, and I felt very stuffy inside. I opened my mouth again and again… Closed repeatedly.
Her brother already saw me as a woman and… I also saw her brother only as a man.
We had already revealed that kind of heart to each other, and we even knew that we liked each other as members of the opposite sex.
It’s sudden, but… I thought about it a lot, and finally told my brother what I thought.

“… Then, you can’t do it in the future.”
“… Yes?”

Hearing my words, my younger brother was very taken aback and froze.

“In the future, whenever you are erotic, tell me what is erotic. I will fix it so that noona is not erotic.”
“Yes? Uh?”
“Even wrapping up my sister… No. It’s forbidden to play with your sister’s baby bag or to put only the glans in.”
“Uh? Uh… ? Why, why…? In Hong Kong…”
“I went on a trip and didn’t have any masturbation equipment, so I helped. You can have sex if you do it wrong, and it’s dangerous…”
“Yesterday… ?”
“That’s why it’s more dangerous…”

Her brother was holding my arm now as if he were hanging on.
I was very heartbroken and stuffy, but I kept saying it because I thought it was necessary.

“Nuna always looks like a woman… It could be because I feel a sense of distance as a family when I say respectful things. My sister did it wrong. I will try to speak plainly.”
“Why, why? No! You can say respectful things!”

When I continued to speak, I should say that my younger brother seemed more shocked than embarrassed.

“Nu-sister… My sister also said that she felt good… It’s good to stimulate… I want to…”
“… My sister will be patient too.”
“Uh… ? Uh?”
“Masturbating is… It’s okay, so if necessary, I can take off your sister’s underwear. Wearing it on the ona hole will stimulate more…”

The more my younger brother listens to me, the more his complexion gets worse and worse, Onahol… Fixed position… I muttered softly.
I thought that I should do it properly because I am an older sister, but for some reason I thought that I would masturbate a lot because it was more unbearable than before.

“Well, then… Smell… You said you like licking. Smell… I want to take it.”
“… In condoms… Please pack it.”
“Yes… ?”
“Now, masturbation… Because it’s okay. My sister will masturbate a lot and endure it hard, so with a condom… Wrap it up, please.”

Even before going on a trip… My sister already knew that, so she just went back to before she went to Hong Kong.
My brother listened to me and put on a really devastated face… She said it in a voice that somehow made her chill just by hearing it.

“… Is it because of him?”
“He… ?”
“Isn’t he just spreading rumors? Is it because of that?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Then why…”

I’m still with her brother, and I’ve been with her… It’s been a long time since I’ve been thinking so calmly like this… No, it seems like this is the first time I’ve thought about things related to my younger brother, so I said it a little calmly.

“It’s because it’s dangerous.”
“It’s dangerous… ?”
“My younger brother wants to do it… I keep building up my desires, so I’m doing it close to the end, but even if it’s not sex… It’s true that it’s really deep skinship in the first place… ?”

Right? After asking for consent, the younger sister seemed disapproving of it, but nodded her head, and I followed up with my thoughts.

“Therefore… If you get caught, you might see it very strangely, and it’s embarrassing.”
“… It’s okay if you don’t get caught.”
“But because of that already… It’s okay.”

I said while showing my cell phone to her brother, and her brother closed her mouth and nodded her head, as if she had nothing to say.

“Still, she doesn’t know that she’s my sister… It’s fortunate that she only knows that I’m her boyfriend, but I can’t introduce her sister as a boyfriend…”
“If… It works.”
“Yes… ?”
“Anyway, we’re the only ones here… It’s just the two of us… Nobody recognizes you.”

Even as I answered, I felt a little bit nervous.
Should I say immorality, in fact, as her sister said… Nobody will know if we keep our mouths shut, even if it’s our boyfriends… It might not have been okay.
But… I was still too anxious for that.

“Even though I don’t often come, my mom does come sometimes… Dad is also in touch. What are you going to do if you ever find out? And… The friend I called earlier knows that I have a younger brother and that I live with him.”
“Even so, if you keep it a secret…”
“And then… What if I get caught?”
“No, if you don’t get caught… It works.”
“Still, just in case… What if I’m not your brother…”
“Ah… Mi, I’m sorry… Sorry.”

I couldn’t hide my anxiety and said it, and my younger brother looked at me silently… As if he realized something belatedly, his face became very worried.
When my younger brother recognized my concerns, I was grateful but also very sorry.
I want to do that… It’s hard to bear it, but it piles up every day to the point where it’s so cheap… I wondered if it was too harsh, but I said it while comforting my younger brother.

“… While traveling in Hong Kong, because of the sense of openness, a little bit of each other… Because I couldn’t restrain myself. It remains… If we went on like this, we might have really had sex… Because we are always attracted to each other… Right… ?”
“… Yes.”
“It’s addictive, because it’s strong… Filling it inside… Because it feels good.”
“Ha, yes…”
“I’m doing it because I want to be with my younger brother all the time… I think it’s fortunate that I stopped well when it was dangerous… I kept doing this and finally… What should I do when I go to Korea after college if I do more erotic things and lose control of myself? If Dad finds out…”
“… You can live alone, just the two of you.”
“Then, if you come suddenly, you’ll find out… Near relative… It’ll be a big deal if you get misunderstood as having sex…

Even though the younger brother doesn’t seem to like it… In the end, he nodded at my words.
I let out a sigh of relief and comforted my brother.

“Because I want to live with my sister even after I go to Korea… You can restrain yourself… ?”
“Yes…”

As if really reluctantly, upset and helpless, her brother said resignedly.
Afterwards, her sister looked extremely downtrodden over a late dinner, and she kept glancing at me.

“… I will do it.”
“Oh… Okay, de…”
“I will do it… Sister go in and rest.”

Even the dishes were stolen by my younger brother, and he really kept hanging around me… Time passed as I tried to say something but repeated my words.
I was constantly responding appropriately to the messages coming to me in front of my brother, and most of the time, what does it matter if I happen to be? I replied, but I made it clear to my close friends that it was not.
Everyone went on to say that the senior was doing that senior again, but after a long time, the word came out saying that we should meet and talk. There was

In the end, when it was time to sleep, my younger brother, who had been watching me lie on the bed with my phone, let out a long sigh and carefully placed his hand on my waist. I glanced over.

“Until today… No?”
“… It’s already cheap today.”
“Then… Tomorrow… No? Until tomorrow only.”
“… No.”
“Yes…”

My younger brother who was rejected by me became very sullen and broke into tears… I turned over from her brother and lay down, feeling that if I kept looking at her, I would be weak.

“Ah…”

For some reason, I heard a very hurt sound from behind, and the hand I had on my shoulder dropped and came back up again and again.
I was very sorry, so I decided to allow that much.
Even so, I wanted to say it firmly.

“… As far as raising your hand… Are you okay… No more than that.”
“Oh… Yes.”

Hearing my words, my sister raised her hand slightly as if touching a fragile glass bottle with a much more careful hand than usual, and slowly wrapped her arms around her.
As it is… For some reason, while thinking that she seems to have been there for a long time… I fell asleep with nothing really happening.