Chapter 87 – Distancing (7)

“What noona wants is just a sister-sister relationship.”
“Yes… ?”
“Originally, this kind of thing was risky, but you said you shouldn’t do it because it’s dangerous. As my sister said… I try to put up with it a little bit, but I can’t do that.”

My heart pounded at the words of my brother’s unbearableness, but the chilling anxiety did not stop.
It must have been what he wanted, but the more he spoke, the more I felt embarrassed and choking, as if the floor had suddenly disappeared, instead of being relieved or thankful.

“It’s a big deal if you end up having sex because you can’t stand shaking your waist like your sister said, right? It’s just as my sister said. He said that it was dangerous to keep being stimulated like this, so I think we can barely do what my sister said if we don’t stimulate each other.”
“Uh, huh? Yes?”
“You don’t even have to go to private tutoring. I will study alone. Just watching my sister teach me to study is too much stimulation for me. My sister doesn’t know if it’s easy… Because I can’t.”
“Shh, is it easy? What… ?”
“It’s like going back to normal as if nothing happened.”

I wanted to say no to my brother, but the words didn’t come out. The sudden situation was embarrassing, and I couldn’t even raise my head.
The more I listened to my brother’s words, the more I couldn’t argue with the thought that everything I said was what I said, and he unilaterally touched my hair and left the room.

“Anyway… I will… I’m having a bit of a hard time… I’ll go in.”
“Hey, is it hard? Why… ?”
“Walk a little far… Are you okay.”
“Eh, a massage? Can I do it?”

After hearing what my brother had to say, I wondered why he was having such a hard time and why he had been walking around a lot, and even though I was surprised, I thought we should talk more, so I said it urgently.
However, my younger brother immediately entered the room closing the door as if to stop me.

“It’s dangerous, so you shouldn’t do that.”
“Well, then fruit, even fruit…”
“Are you okay. I’m full… You’ll do well while studying.”

Embarrassed, I sat still and watched with my eyes wide open, and my brother’s door slowly closed.

“Good night.”

As it is, the door is closed, and the sun has set in the darkened living room… I was left alone again.

“… Uh?”

·

After that day, I couldn’t sleep all night and I kept thinking about why my brother was like this, what to do and why this happened.
No matter how much I thought about it, the answer didn’t come out… There was no sound from outside the room.
The night passed in silence in my sister’s room, and the next morning I waited for the time to wake him up with a body that didn’t even feel tired, and immediately knocked on the door and went in.

“Good morning.”
“Hey, you woke up early… ?”
“It’s hard to wake up every day. I’ll get up, so my sister should sleep a little more in the morning.”

But her brother was already up and changing her clothes, and it seemed like nothing was wrong with me… He greeted me with those cold eyes that I had seen outside for a while, and then he passed me by and went to the bathroom to wash up and come out.
My head was blank, but I prepared breakfast, and my younger brother ate breakfast… I got up from my seat and went to the front door.
I hurriedly approached the front door to give him a hug before leaving, as always, but I was taken aback when my younger brother opened the door without looking at me.

“Ah…”

Then he hesitated for a moment, so I raised my arm slightly thinking about hugging him.

“I’ll buy that bread and eat it in the morning. You can also buy lunch boxes at convenience stores.”
“Uh? That, but…”
“My sister has her time and she has all her friends, but it’s hard if she’s like this too much to me. It’s okay to buy breakfast, so I go out to see my sister and friends.”

But her sister didn’t hug her, rather she walked out slowly, talking nonchalantly, nodding her head once, and closing the front door.
I didn’t understand what the hell I was saying, so I stood there blankly, and I got very depressed thinking that the lunch box I made in a hurry might be the last one.

Obviously this… It was a situation no different from the younger brother or older brother my friends told me about, but they didn’t even take care of each other’s meals and just took care of themselves… They were ordinary siblings.
For some reason, my head was very empty, so I spent the whole day in a daze, and the day passed without really thinking about anything.

“Oh, welcome! Thank you for your effort.”
“Ah, dinner… I ate with my friends.”
“Uh… ? Uh, where? If you eat anywhere…”
“It’s okay, the kids just bought ramen at the convenience store.

After being out of my mind all day, I did nothing but warm up the soup I had prepared in the evening. I was taken aback by what my younger brother said as soon as he got home.
I idly ate rice, I did the dishes slowly, glanced at my sister’s door, and went into the room.

And the next day, and the day after that…
I go to a pizza restaurant or McDonald’s to eat dinner, and I don’t even eat breakfast…
If he packed a lunch, he would take it, but every time he brought it, he said that he didn’t have to pack it for tomorrow, and the younger brother tried to take it carefully, fearing that his fingertips might touch it.
Even if I want to hug you at the front door to say goodbye, you walk out as if ignoring me, as if you’re not interested in me at all, as if you’re not interested…

I treat her as an older sister, but she also tells me to eat and sometimes brings me something to eat…
Ordinary, ordinary siblings…
Something strange, something unfortunate, something unfortunate, something lacking.
Even though we live together, the feeling of being together is getting less and less…
It seemed to be getting weirder.

“I-over there…”

If you knock on her sister’s door and cut her fruit, her sister is studying really hard, so if you just look at her without thinking… Her brother came a long way behind her and tapped the side of her desk with her finger, and I said without looking.

“Thank you, if you leave it there, I’ll unwrap it and eat it later.”
“… Yes.”

Then I had no choice but to leave it quietly and go away, glancing at her brother and leaving…
Again, without thinking, until dawn, listening to the silence in her sister’s room and outside the room without any sound, I fell into trouble.

Is this really right? This is what you want, but…
Is this right? This… This is correct… Sure, that’s right…
It’s not like they don’t eat breakfast like they completely avoid it, and there are days when my brother eats the menu he likes, so I rather worked hard to wake up earlier and serve him something he likes.

“I really enjoyed the meal.”
“Oh, was it delicious? There are some packed lunches with this and others. What do you want to take?”
“It was delicious. However… Please don’t do this next time. Because my sister is having a hard time.”

Then you can see that the menu takes a long time, so if you try to keep a bright face and are happy to see him eating deliciously, the younger brother will reject it one by one.
My older sister is having a hard time, so I’m taking care of her as her younger sister… It must be a good day

When I got tired of trying to make a different menu every day, my younger brother even asked me not to pack a lunchbox at all, and I ended up giving a Japanese-style lunchbox with salmon steak, fried fish, egg salad, and fried shrimp as the last lunchbox. After cleaning the can, I couldn’t get it out.

[I passed the certification.]
“Really? Congratulation! So, let’s celebrate today…”
[Ah… I think I’ll be late today because I decided to eat with the kids who passed.]

It’s definitely a good thing to be close with friends, but the last time something similar happened, I definitely told you to come back…
For some reason, while waiting for my brother like a puppy waiting for its owner, the time at home became more and more empty and meaningless, so I spent a lot of time idly.

“Oh… Whoa… Huh…”

It was masturbation time that increased the more I did, but at some point, I stopped masturbating with a dildo.
For some reason, it became more and more difficult to stimulate the inside, and instead of feeling good, the thought that this was not the case only grew stronger, so something was lacking.
As if the place in my head that was in charge of pleasure was broken, I didn’t feel as good as before, and I felt regretful.

Even when I cleaned my brother’s room, nothing like condoms or toilet paper containing semen came out like before, and even when I masturbated in my brother’s room, I could only feel the smell getting fainter.
I tried masturbating with my face buried in a pillow, but something was lacking, and something was missing… But later on, I felt that even that smell was not enough.
The smell of the pillow, which was just waking up after sleeping, was gradually fading away, and it was a little different to call it a collection.

The room, which was washed and cleaned every day, became more and more lazy, fearing that the younger brother’s feelings would be lost even a little, and masturbation… Around the time when the stimulation of the dildo felt rather painful, after her sister came, for some reason, she was using only the dildo and did not take it out, so she changed to a womanizer.
The pleasure of slightly sucking the clit was definitely different from a dildo, so I could go lightly…
Still, something was lacking.
When I exercise and diet, if I eat only fruits, vegetables, and salads, I’m full, but as if I’m lacking something…
As if the longer that period went on, the more unbearable it became, something was lacking.

“I’m coming.”
“Joe, be careful… Go… Please come…”

The dirty smell that had faded from her brother’s room was no longer gone.
From one day, a diffuser in the shape that girls would live in was created… It smelled different than before.
The scent reminded me of the diffuser that my mother used to leave after sex in the room before her brother came, and the more I smelled it, the more I felt like I was living alone in the house like before.

“Huh… Huh… Huh…”

I felt depressed as if my sister’s room was taken over by something, and then I suddenly thought of taking out my brother’s clothes that had been taken out of the washing machine and starting to smell them.

“Ha…”

As if to wash away the guilt, I ran the washing machine and a little… It’s like a pervert… Sniffing, sniffing, sniffing and smelling underwear…
After that, I told my younger brother a lot that he shouldn’t do this, and I felt that I was doing this, so I became very depressed.
After saying that she couldn’t help it because of her sister… Even though it was said that I was freeing my desires for my younger brother, what I couldn’t stand was the pervert-like actions.

Even though I felt that things were getting weirder, I couldn’t stand it, and no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t be satisfied, so the masturbation time only got longer.
I didn’t wash the dishes properly, so I hurriedly got rid of the piled up things before my brother came, and I cleaned the storage room roughly, so the storage room was getting more and more dusty.
Still, because this is right… Because this is right, as my brother said, because it is what I wanted, time passed.

“Oh…”

One day when the days passed like that… I watched the rain outside the house and stayed in a daze and hurriedly looked for an umbrella.