Chapter 293 – Episode 226-Why Is My Heart So Aching?

*All characters appearing are adults.
*This is a fictional story that is nothing but fiction. Never follow

“Lilia, if you have any concerns, please tell me.”

Turning her head to Lillia standing next to her, Selena asked a question.

“Yes, are you worried? What am I worried about…”
“Don’t be shy. It’s all written on your face.”

Selena pointed her finger at Lillia’s embarrassed face.

“It was strange. It was the same as usual, but there was something subtle about it.”

Currently, Selena and Lilia are in the Watchtower.
It was on one of the 12 watchtowers erected on the outskirts of the village, which was named “The Breeding Ground.”
It was built at the suggestion of Aion for the security of the village.

There is one reason why the two went up to the tower.
This is to visually check whether the construction progress is smooth.

“It was a face trembling in anxiety that someone was chasing me.”

Now, the two people’s eyes are heading outside the village.
This is a road construction site that connects the village entrance and the city of St.
Numerous robots and workers put into labor are making roads while sweating.

All of them were recruited from the punitive force.

‘Leven, can you send a little bit of troops to Saint?’

Under Lillia’s command, the subjugation army headed for Roaster’s territory.
Leven, who has been in charge of the general command of the subjugation army, is intent on subduing the rebels rampaging in the territory.
Almost all of them were suppressed and went into a virtual lull.

For this reason, Leven followed Lillia’s instructions without hesitation.
Even if some of the troops are missing, the operation will not go wrong.

Some of the punitive forces who returned to the Saint successfully subdued the hideout,
All the people who lived there were captured.

And now I am serving them diligently.

“He looked like a trembling child, wondering if he was being exposed for doing something wrong.”

In order to shorten the construction period, vampires from Saint were also mobilized as laborers.
None of the vampires protested her mobilization order, as Queen Bathory had formally ordered them to participate in the project.

“It was the same yesterday. Even though I had a hot night with men, why did you not feel happy at all? I just pretended to be happy.”

Currently, three days have passed since the road construction began, and about two-thirds of the total has been completed.
The remaining third is due to be completed soon.
Once completed, the town and Saint will be able to officially interact.
At the same time, Lilia will be able to lead her forces and head straight to Roster Manor.
If everything goes according to plan.

So you need to make sure you are doing it right.
So she climbed the watchtower, and Selena asked such a question out of the blue, much to Lillia’s dismay.

“Tell me, what happened?”
“I-I didn’t, uh, did anything happen?”
“Don’t hide it, just talk. It’s just me and you here.”
“…”

Lillia said nothing.
She just rolls her green eyes here and there.
If she spoke, she would just open and close her mouth like someone cursed to die on the spot.

Repeatedly like that,

“Ha, I see. I will talk.”

Finally Lillia opened her mouth.

“I think she got stabbed in the gully.”
“Are you in urgent need?”
“Yes, right here.”

Lillia poked herself in the chest with her thumb.

“No matter what I did, it didn’t hurt here at all, but these days it hurts strangely.”
“…”
“I keep crying because it hurts. I’m scared. My body is shaking. I keep wanting to put the words of sorry in her mouth.”

I feel like I’ve pierced through her fog.
I felt like I had finally found my way after wandering all over the place.
I felt like I had opened the door at the end of the road.
I feel like my heart inside the door has been hacked to pieces with a knife.

I hadn’t done this before.
After the fall, it must have been completely buried.
I thought that since she became a demon, she would have been powdered like sand.
Even if she did something that turned people into livestock, she was sincerely happy that she would rather take good care of her than say she was sorry.

Why am I feeling guilty now?
Why do I feel like my entire body is gripped with guilt right now?
Why am I afraid to indulge in pleasure now?
Why, why, why, why…

– Still, I should have found a way. Does it make sense to just nod her head saying that she is right?

Is her heart stabbed by the words of her younger brother, Aion?

– Sister, why didn’t you try that? Were you afraid of your older sister that much?

Why did her brother’s words make her feel guilty herself?

The power source called conscience, which I thought would not work anymore, started moving again.
The stopped cog wheel started moving again.
As she moved again, she told Lilia what crime she had committed.
The more she realized that, the more Lilia shuddered at her guilt.

The dead eyes of the hero, who had turned into a madman, gradually began to come back to life.

“I don’t know why I am doing this.”
“… Since when?”
“From the time she injected madness into her brother. From then on, her chest kept hurting.”
“…”
“Has Selena ever been like this?”

In the wind that reminds me of my forgotten conscience,
So, has she ever been very distressed by what she has done?
Selena immediately opened her mouth to that question.

“There was, a lot.”

Selena’s tone was very calm.

“Sometimes I dream. When I was a saint, the days when I prayed for the poor. The days I served for those people. The days when I promised that I could do anything if I wanted those people to be happy.”

Those days were really happy.
She was happier than anyone else because she received plenty of love from her goddess, Minerva.
She considered it her mission to share that happiness with the poor.
Living up to that mission was not at all difficult for Selena.

Give what you have.
Blessed are those who give.
Because she can carry out the teachings of the goddess.
That alone made Selena happy.

“When I wake up from such a dream, I always see my body as a monster. These ugly wings and tail always catch my eye.”
“…”
“It always hurts my heart every time I see it.”

It pains her whenever she thinks of those days.
Unlike the past when she always did good things, now she always does bad things and hates herself.
Knowing that she is evil, she only wants to indulge her pleasure,
She hates Selena so much that she doesn’t stop just because she wants to enjoy it.

“Then, how did you endure it? How did she manage to live like this?”
“It’s simple.”

In response to Lillia’s question, Selena said she was no big deal.

“You just have to resign.”

It was really simple and easy way.

“Does it make any difference that we are plagued by guilt? Do you think this hell will change if we change our minds?”
“…”
“It won’t change even if we come to our senses.”

Will regret. Reflect on Want to change.
It is very easy to hold such thoughts.

It’s easy, but I don’t have the power to apply it in reality.
It’s already too late to try to change.
Too late, too late.
Because the world has already belonged to the demons.
All angels have fallen,
Humans have been turned into livestock.
Selena’s power was too weak to overturn this unreasonable world.

No matter how determined they are, they are destined to be swept away in front of a huge tsunami.
Even if you shout that this is not it, you are destined to be buried in the end.
No matter what we do, it is absolutely impossible to change this living hell.

“Even if I have already fallen out, I have fallen too much. I can’t get out. All we can do now is just live faithfully to this job.”
“You mean taking care of people for the rest of their lives so that they can live well as livestock?”
“Yes.”
“…”
“But maybe you were different from me.”

When Selena suddenly said that, Lillia’s eyes widened.

“Yes? What is that…”
“If you had become the demon king, this hell might have changed a little.”
“Devil? I am?”
“Yes, if you hadn’t rejected Eris’ offer.”

Eris said this at first.
That she would make Lilia her own successor.
So she remodeled her sister Lilia.
Reshaping her body to suit her own successor, forcing her knowledge into her head.
In order to make them accept this fate, they gave them trials that they could not bear with their sober minds.
The demons who supported Junis strongly protested, and Junis himself indirectly revealed his dissatisfaction, but Eris didn’t care.

What would have happened if he had accepted Eris’ proposal instead of rejecting it?
Wouldn’t this hell have changed when Eris stepped down and Lilia became king?
Lilia, who was in a moment of trouble, opened her mouth slowly.

“That is impossible.”

There is no possibility
Lilia let out her long sigh.

“It is impossible for me to become the Demon King. There are more people who follow Junice than me, but who will support me as a mere warrior? If you don’t have an older sister, you’re an idiot who can’t maintain even one of her powers.”
“…”
“And even if it were me, I couldn’t change it.”

Lillia said in a voice that sounded like she was in a depression.

“I want to change, but I don’t have anything…”

Most humans were confined to kennels.
It began to transform into livestock raised in breeding farms.
A slave who serves the demons.
Give breast milk every day, give your body every day.
They are treated as slaves who sacrifice everything for the demons for the rest of their lives.
Everyone is conforming to their fate, and the demons don’t want this fate to change.

Lillia didn’t have the power to change the thoughts of those demons.
Eris is there, but will she support her?
Would you accept her own claim, even at the cost of her own support base?
She won’t listen to anyone even if she sits on her throne and declares that she will change this.
Even if you mobilize the people living in Paradise, it is impossible to convince all the demons.

“If it doesn’t work, I think the answer is to cultivate it so that you can live well.”

Let’s just adapt
If it’s an ideal that can’t be achieved anyway, let’s make sure they don’t become unhappy.
Even if they become livestock, take good care of them so that they are not discriminated against.
Let’s make this living hell a paradise.

“Well, that sounds nonsense.”
Lillia laughed dejectedly.
It was as if she was laughing at herself for not being able to do anything.

“Hey, Selena. If so.”

When she says she regrets it, she suddenly thinks of this.
Lillia asked Selena a question.

“If we really go back to the way we were, if we go back to being real humans and can truly regret what we’ve done so far, if that’s why we can’t stand it…”

If you go back to being someone who can feel remorse.
If only I could go back to being a normal human instead of a monster.
What choices would you make if that really happened?

“What are you going to do, Selena?”
“I will die.”

To that, Selena immediately responded.

“I don’t have the courage to live shamelessly on the subject of committing an incurable sin.”
“Is that so?”
“If I live like this for the rest of my life, I’ll kill myself by biting off her tongue if I go back to being a real saint.”

Ever since he was forced to become a succubus by Illina, he has lived as a monster.
Abandoning all conscience, he lived only for his desire.
She did it even though she knew what she was doing.
Selena rationalized herself that this was all for peace, and that the only way to lead to peace was to corrupt everyone.
Since she became a monster, she thinks this is the only way.

If you go back to being a human on such a subject, how can you live with your head up?
Better to just die and disappear from this world.

“Then what will Lilia do?”

This time, Selena asked the question.

“Can you live brazenly even as a human being?”
“I am…”

What if she miraculously returns to being human?
The moment Lilia opens her mouth,

Suddenly, her crystal ball in her pocket buzzed.

“Wait a minute.”

Lillia immediately pulled out her orb.

“That’s me.”

[Lilia-sama, this is an emergency. Please come to the roster soon!]

The sender of the message was a knight belonging to the SS.
The soldier shouted at Lilia in an urgent voice.

[Captain Leven, Captain Leven…]

“Miss Leven? What are you talking about? Please speak slowly.”

[That, that…]

After a while, after hearing her detailed explanation, Lilia,

“Wow, what an idiot. Something like that…”

I was so surprised that I dropped the crystal ball.