Chapter 3 – Again, That Summer…

“Ahh!!”
I jumped up in surprise.
It sounds like you had a scary dream.
Cold sweat broke out all over my body, and it was too hot.
‘I must have rolled forward on the stairs, but where am I?’
‘Am I dead?’
A number of thoughts ran through my head at high speed.
I slowly looked around.
It was dark all around.
A light like a light from a nightstand shone on the bedside.
I was sitting in a familiar yet unfamiliar space.
‘Uh? Where the hell is this place?’
Something was strange.
When I slowly turned my head to the left, I saw a pair of white legs.
It looked like a woman’s leg.
‘Uh? What kind of woman is lying next to me?’
Her soft-looking skirt went up just below her pubic area.
It was a thigh that looked so white and soft.
It looked like she was wearing white panties too.
I turned my head further to the left.
I could see the woman’s face under the light of the nightstand.
Although she looked a little tired from being washed up with sepsis, there was a young, pretty woman sleeping soundly.
With each breath she took, her chest rose and fell.
For a moment, I had a strange idea that it was a beautiful chest.
I looked into her face for a long time.
I couldn’t immediately recall who it was, but it was a very familiar and friendly face.
As I was looking closely at his face, tears suddenly welled up in my eyes.
As soon as…
It was the face of my dear mother.
I stared at her mother’s face endlessly, crying blankly.
‘I am dreaming right now. I thought about that earlier, and now I’m 17 years old and I’m looking at my mother’s face on that summer night.’
I felt so missed and thrilled.
‘I hope you don’t wake up from your dream. I hope I don’t go back to that hard life again.’
I glanced over at my mother, who was slowly lying down.
Since it was summer, she was wearing a light blue short-sleeved tee, and the skirt was still on her genitals.
White, thin, long arms…
Her calves were quite slim, though her thighs seemed a bit thick.
It looks like she has gained some weight, but her slim waist, which maintained 24 inches even after giving birth to three children…
Hip line that widens rapidly from the waist..
A few fine wrinkles around the eyes from a hard life…
However, the red lips and closed eyes were so beautiful.
When she was 17, she could feel the mature woman she hadn’t known.
As a 45-year-old middle-aged man, I involuntarily swallowed my saliva while watching my mother asleep.
As I thought, ‘Was my mother this beautiful?’, I remembered the old mother I had seen earlier.
‘How can this face be so old?’
It was such a heartbreaking thought.
Tears flowed again.

Suddenly, the sleeping mother opened her eyes.
And seeing me, she got up in surprise.
“What’s the matter? Why are you crying, Seongjin-ah?”
She came up to me and stroked her face as she wiped away her tears.
When my mother was little or when she was old, whenever I cried, she stroked her face like this.
“Why? Did you have a scary dream? Are you sick?”
My mother looked at my face, but she was ready to follow me and weep.
Even though I was crying, I laughed at my mother’s appearance.
‘As expected, she’s my mother who only knows her eldest son.’
‘Eh? Strange? This is a dream, but isn’t my mother too realistic?’
I had a strange thought.
The dream was too vivid.
My mother was still talking to me.
I stared blankly at her mother.

Then, suddenly, I saw my mother’s white thighs.
Maybe it was because she jumped up, her skirt didn’t come down and it was stuck in her stomach.
Suddenly I thought, ‘This is a dream.’ I placed my hand on her mother’s thigh and stroked it gently.
It was a bit cool, and the soft texture felt so good.
My mother didn’t respond, she kept asking questions as she still looked at me anxiously in her face.
‘Also! Look at this, it’s a dream.’ When I thought to myself, I grinned.
My mother looked at me with her strange eyes.
Suddenly, when I was 17, I remembered the good memories of that summer night.
My mother’s breasts and pussy that I loved so much…
She pushed her hand away from her thigh and placed her hand on her mother’s panties.
Then she squeezed her mother’s cunt and crotch with her palms.
Then my mother freaked out and slapped her on the back of her hand, and then she swept away my hand.
“There’s nothing this guy can’t do.”
My mother glances at me, but she doesn’t look too upset.
I smiled and looked at her mother.

‘By the way, it’s strange.’
I felt pain when I hit the back of my hand.
‘It’s a dream, but does it hurt?’
I clenched my fist and hit my head hard.
‘Ah! Sick.’
‘What? Then you’re saying this isn’t a dream.’
‘How did this happen?’
My mother looked at me in surprise.
It is only natural that the son who suddenly touched his genital area laughed and hit her head with his fist seemed strange…
“Why is that, Sungjin? Huh? What’s wrong all of a sudden?”
She hugged me tightly with a worried face as if she would cry at any moment.
I said nothing.
I had no idea.
I could feel my mother crying.
Her mother’s heart dropped when her eldest son, who she loved so much and was more precious than her life, suddenly woke up crying and then behaved strangely by hitting her head.
“Why are you my son? Why are you like this, my baby?”
She cried and hugged me tighter.
Feeling her mother’s love made my heart swell too.
“Are you okay. It’s okay.”
She grabbed her mother by the shoulders and pulled her from her arms.
“Mom, I’m tired, so go to sleep. It’s because I need to pee.”
“Huh. Okay. She’s on her way.”

I laid her mother back down, put on her shoes, and went out to her rooftop.
I walked slowly along the roof railing, looking around.
The distant scenery of the old days was unfolding again.
I was standing there staring blankly at the old commercial apartment building on the side of the main road.
‘I played a lot with the kids in that apartment vacant lot.’
I laughed as I remembered the thoughts of playing marbles and playing with the kids in the neighborhood.
Suddenly, the thought of a cigarette came to my mind.
But, now that I’m 17, there’s no way I’m smoking.
‘What is this? How did this happen? Now you’re saying this is real. Did God grant my wish?’
Thoughts came to mind, biting their tails.
‘Come to think of it, that situation was the situation when I was 17 years old. So what year is it now? Is it 1990? Did I return to 28 years ago?.’

Ever since I touched her mother’s vagina when I was 17, I’ve been estranged from my mother.
Because of her timid personality, I kept avoiding her mother, and even though she felt sorry for me, she was a mother who protected me with her love until the end.
After that, I lived a double life, pretending to be innocent at home while smoking, drinking, and fighting outside.
It was a time when I lived without fear because I was 17 years old and taller than most adults.
‘Maybe I started smoking this year, right?’
I suddenly remembered the first time I smoked.
It reminded me of gathering at a friend’s house and sharing cigarettes with ’88’ after the final exams for the first semester of my freshman year of high school.
‘Sooner or later I will learn to smoke. It was probably Dong-gu’s house, right?’

Dong-gu has been my best friend since middle school.
He was the only child raised by a single mother due to his father’s early death.
He was short and wore large round black-rimmed glasses, but after we were in the same class in the second year of middle school, he followed me around.
Luckily, we both entered the same high school and were in the same class in the first year.
The house was close enough to go by just one big block, and since I was big and good at fighting, Dong-gu, who was small and dwarfed, always wanted to play only with me.
Since Dong-gu’s mother goes to work during the day, Dong-gu’s family, who are always alone, was our hideout.
And since Dong-gu received a good amount of pocket money, he bought food well.
Although Dong-gu was small, he was always an issue maker.
He was a friend who was good at playing pranks and radiating curiosity first, such as buying a cigarette to smoke.
That’s how I started smoking with Dong-gu, and I, who was good at fighting, beat up the kids from the house who were super, and threatened them to steal cigarettes.
Later, even without me stepping out, Dong-gu would take care of himself and pick up cigarettes from the kids at the super house.
‘I played a lot with Dong-gu. We fight a lot.’
Thinking of the old days, I giggled and laughed to myself.
‘Think of the old days? Isn’t that what’s going to happen now?’

I was giggling and laughing by myself when someone put a hand on my shoulder.
Looking back, it was my mother.
He was looking at me with a very worried face.
“Sungjin, what’s wrong? Why are you here?”
Mother asked cautiously.
Mother’s slightly frowning face was so pretty.
It was so pretty that I wanted to hug and bite it.
Moreover, the concern and love for me was felt so strongly.
The image of my mother, whom I had never known before, that I had not even tried to know about, came into my eyes.
Seeing a young mother through the eyes of an elderly middle-aged man was a fantasy.
Now she is 36 years old, she is in the middle of her career as a woman, at an attractive age.
It’s just that she couldn’t show off her beauty because she couldn’t decorate it, but in my eyes, having lived for over 40 years and experienced many women, her mother’s appearance as a woman was an attraction itself.
‘My mother was so beautiful.’
As she looked at her young mother, her heart pounded violently.
‘Come to think of it, my mother is younger than me now.’
I approached her mother and held her tightly in her arms.
The mother in my memory was very small.
But maybe it was because I hadn’t grown to my full height yet, I was able to see her mother’s face after bending down a little.
Well, I’m still 17 at the moment.
My mother hugged me and looked at me with a very curious look on her face.
I kissed her mother’s lips.
“I love you mother. And, thank you so much.”
“Oh! Why are you suddenly a mother? What are you up to?”
My mother looked at me with rabbit eyes.
“No. Seeing my mother made me feel so good all of a sudden. I love you mother.”
I kept saying things to my mother that I had never said in my entire life.
As if reflecting on past life regrets…
Then, he kissed her on the lips again.
“Oh! Why is this guy so gross? Do all the things you wouldn’t normally do.” Even as she said, she hugged me tightly.
Her beloved son suddenly became friendly, and she seemed to be in a good mood too.
“Let’s go in and sleep. I will be late for school tomorrow.”
“Yes. Mother go in first. I have something to think about, so she’ll wait a little longer and then go in.”
“What do you think? If you have any concerns, tell your mother. I will grant all my son’s wishes.”
“No. I’ll go in in a little while. It’s because it’s hot.”
She laughed and let her mother go.
“I get it. Come in quickly.”
Her mother looked back a few times at her steady step and she went in.
She was suddenly so happy.
‘Okay. Let’s never disappoint her mother again. This is a heaven-given opportunity.’

Suddenly, I remembered the image of my mother who had just been in her arms.
My 36-year-old mother was so beautiful.
For some reason, her heart fluttered and a shudder ran through her body.
All the memories of her current situation and all the memories floating around in her head disappeared, and only the image of her mother occupied her mind strongly.
As if she had fallen in love at first sight with the figure of her young mother, only her thoughts of her mother had come to her.
It’s certainly strange, but returning from my 40s, I felt like a young mother was the woman of my destiny.
Her heart pounded as if she had heart disease.
‘Why didn’t I know before that my mother was so beautiful? I’ll make sure you don’t have any regrets again. My lovely mother, I must, for sure, make her happy.’

As I became strongly aware of the reality, I began to organize my thoughts on what I had to do in the future.
I am a person who has already lived the next 28 years.
It was like getting a huge chance.
Also, I graduated from the Department of Business Administration at Seoul National University, and I was a person who made investments in real estate and stocks as a business.
I was looking forward to the future, and my heart started to flutter.
After that, I was immersed in my thoughts for a considerable amount of time, and then my mother came out again and entered the room.