Chapter 124 – Access (4)

From the moment he saw Arna, negative emotions suddenly flowed out of Grape’s body.
I don’t know what’s going on, but I instinctively sense that Grape’s mind is overexcited.
Negative emotions stimulate senses that humans shouldn’t have.

In the taste of regret, which is slightly bitter, salty, and sweet, you can feel the hidden feeling of thinking that your actions were all a misunderstanding.
It was a misunderstanding from the beginning, and the emptiness that nothing was delivered is as fluffy as cotton candy.
The creamy taste mixed with the honey-like guilt that he only unilaterally harassed me, and the confused confusion about what he has done so far and what to do in the future, gives off a sweetness so thick that I am worried that a cavity is developing inside me.

And finally, a glimmer of hope that it won’t be… A very slight bitterness doubles the flavor of the sweetness.
The dark despair mixed with the slightest bit of hope forms a precarious balance, creating an indescribable taste.
All the food tasted so ignorant that it paralyzed the useless sense of taste.

I am convinced when I see Grape barely maintaining his reason through his blurry eyes.
With her heart pounding, she announces that here is a magical girl whose negative emotions can’t stop.
There is no need for trivial infestations or miniature monsters.
Someone who can definitely take him has to come.

“Ugh…”

I feel a headache again.
A great reluctance to life-threatening behavior arises.
Hunger to the point of fright, and stamina is consumed greatly.
I’ve used too much, so I’m running out of power.

What is life-threatening behavior?
It feels like there’s a hole in my memory, but it’s natural that it’s strange.
It’s natural, so there’s no problem, but it’s strange.

I feel like my head is twisted…
Even in the midst of discomfort, the mind is forcibly calmed down and unnecessary memories disappear.
What matters now is the fact that I am in danger.

It seems that there are no more demon dogs or small monsters around, but… This is not the end.
More to come.
Let more come

“Grape… Pick him up, he has to run away quickly.”
“Yes?! Yes… Ugh…”

I pulled Grape’s wrist, who was in pain as if he would cry at any moment.
Rosé carries Sienna on her back, and I carry Louis, who looks the lightest.
When I asked to carry Arna, Grape let out strangely complicated emotions, then grabbed Arna and lifted him up as if he didn’t want to.
It’s a strange idea for her to think that Grape, a magical girl, is reluctant to rescue other magical girls… Why does it really feel that way?

“Let’s hurry.”

After Rosé and Grape had killed all the monsters, I started walking along the dark railroad tracks, stepping on a strangely soft pile of corpses.
Rui’s body on her back was quite heavy.
I want to ask one of the magical girls, Rosé and Grape, to carry the two of them, but both of them have to leave at least one hand empty so that they can react immediately when the monster appears.

“Grape, listen to this.”
“… Yes.”

The shield I was holding was heavy, so I handed it over to Grape.
Grape took the shield from me, kicked it lightly in one hand, took Arna with one arm and put it over her shoulder, and walked ahead, wary of the surroundings.
As I walked to the station and looked at Arna sitting on one of Grape’s shoulders, I felt annoyed.

Same with Arna, Sienna, and Louis… It didn’t protect me properly and now it’s only getting in the way.
I want to leave useless magical girls behind, but… I can’t help it because I shouldn’t be suspicious.
But even if Sienna or Louie, who listen to her, don’t know, she can’t stand this unpleasant feeling towards Arna, who has always only rebelled.

She speaks smugly in defiance, and then becomes only a burden.
I still have to run away quickly, but it only hinders me and doesn’t help.
Now that grapes have arrived, I don’t need them anymore… I don’t know about the other guys, but about Arna and that bitch… I don’t like it enough to think it would be nice to leave it.

But…
But… Is it necessary to hate this much… ?
Doing something like this, am I doing it?

I don’t know if this is a little too much, but it gives me a headache.
It’s natural to hate it because it gets in the way when I have to live.
… Can’t I drop it and leave it as if it was a mistake?

It doesn’t help me too much, only resists, rebels, and gets annoyed… Being a burden and being a useless magical girl is really useless.
I’d rather have them dragged away by the monster like this… Wouldn’t it be better to dispose of it?
Because she is irresistible… If you drop it gently, it will be soaked in condensed juice and ruined without even thinking about it.

“Oops…”

Nausea rises from within her body, like a rejection reaction, but it subsides in an instant.
Her head buzzes loudly, and strange words come to mind.
Should be… You have to do it when the opportunity comes…

If you tell Grape and ask to swap Arna and Louis… I can go with Arna.
After a while, when the monsters arrive, pretend it was a mistake and drop it gently so you can dispose of it.
I sang Grape, holding back the disgust that rose up in my stomach.

“Grape.”
“Yes… ?”
“Wouldn’t you change each other… Yo. This? Because Grape has to fight when something comes out… Wouldn’t it be better to take a light child?”

Grape listened to me, understood what I meant, but bit his lip with a complex expression reluctantly.
He hates giving it to me, and he hates carrying it on his back.
The same kind of negative emotions as mine cause the same waves.

“Baby… Anger… Mr. Is weak… Wouldn’t you be able to lift such a heavy woman?”
“… As Grape said, it’s true that I’m a burden, but since I’m a burden, it’s better to carry my luggage…”
“I didn’t say it was a burden! I am not a burden!”

Grape, who was talking tremblingly, cut me off in surprise.
Grape’s expression distorted as if he was about to cry, and he said while letting go of melancholy that was cold like coke and full of slightly chilling sweetness.

“I-I made a mistake again… Entire…”

I couldn’t say anything to Grape, who was still silent and frozen.
I don’t understand what you mean or why you are doing this.
Even if you try to pay attention to Grape, he doesn’t pay much attention.
It is a sense of difference that I only feel now, mixed with a strange sense of incongruity.
As he remained silent in the strange sensation, Rose, who had been silent beside him, intervened by raising one hand.

“That… Hey, if you’re worried about Grape-sister… Shall I take Arna? Because Siena is lighter than Arna.”

Rosé sensed the subtle atmosphere flowing between Grape and me and came up with a countermeasure.
Ever since he knew that Grape and I knew each other, he must have been worried that he might make a mistake, so he was very careful when he spoke.
If I follow Rosé’s words, it will certainly not interfere with Grape’s battle, but for my purposes… It becomes impossible to abandon Arna.

“And… Between Arna and… Because you were bad…”
“… Ugh.”

Rosé’s words pierce his heart with the headache that grips his head.
A sense of crisis soars as if I had just heard a strange sound that kept coming into my head.
She doesn’t get along well with Arna, did she find out that she was secretly dumping Arna?
But… Rosé doesn’t taste like doubting me.

“Is this Arna?”
“… That’s right.”
“… You say she doesn’t get along?”

Upon hearing Rosé’s words, Grape’s eyes widened.
Just a moment ago, the depression was much stronger, but now the confusion is stronger.
And the bitter taste gets stronger… You can see that hope suddenly grows.

“Uh, I don’t know how we know each other… You mean we don’t get along?”
“… It’s not that bad, I just don’t like it very much.”
“Not really… I like it or not… ?”

Grape’s reaction gets more and more strange.
It’s not that I suspect I’ll harm the magical girl.
Confusion, hope, anticipation, hesitation… Quite complex flavors bounce around, and it tastes like liquor on the verge of becoming vinegar, with subtle positive emotions misplaced.

“Anger too… Just like me… ? Did it not go well? It’s not too late… ?”

Grape’s strangely positive emotions stabbed his skin more and more.
It’s not like pouring scary energy on me or doing something threatening… Purely, the magical girl’s magical power itself hurts.
Her shoulders feel heavy and her joints feel cold, as if she had some body aches.

The intestines, mistaking the sense of danger, fill the body with sticky and sweet energy and anesthetize the pain.
Even so, feeling that her magical girl’s magical power has grown stronger, her body trembles and distances herself from her Grape.
Then Grape, whose expression gradually softened, suddenly burst into tears again.

Her senses become more and more twisted, and Grape’s feelings become more intense.
Thoughts separate from emotions and come in a blur.
But… More than I don’t like it… Because it’s serious…
The hope flowing from Grape suddenly turns to disappointment.

“Haaa…”

Grape sighed, and her thoughts flowed like mist.
Same people, same feelings, same senses… And, something unknown… Temporarily connects you to Grape.
A strange commonality is connected, and thoughts are heard in pieces.

[Actually, I was saying that I like other magical girls, but I’m not mistaken, right?]
[No… I hate this illusion…]
[I was mistaken every time… The current situation is all because of my misunderstanding, but this time, if it wasn’t like this…]

[Wouldn’t it have turned out like this if I had done it a little slower… ? No, if I hadn’t done it sooner, I might have been taken away by this Arna…]
[But this is a more serious situation than being taken away…]
[Don’t rape me… But Anger, Anger wanted to fuck him so much that he couldn’t help it! It’s not my fault!]

[No, you can’t think like this! You hated me for doing that! And that’s what I did because I was mistaken!]
[Aaaaa… Really, what should I do… What should I do…]
[Because of me… It’s all because of me… It’s all my fault…]
[What should I do…]

“Ugh… !”

Grape’s thoughts are heard, and her head and intestines are whipped in pain as if they are being whipped with iron bars.
Feeling strange feelings for Grape gives me a strange feeling of rejection.
As if she knew something she shouldn’t know, her memory is suddenly erased here and there.

Using the senses that shouldn’t be used, the inside of her body twists.
Energy that should not be used is consumed, and a severe sense of emptiness comes.
What did I do now?