Chapter 42 – Leanne Dwayne

If there is no reason to live, can it be said to be alive?

What should a child who was abandoned by her parents at birth think about the meaning of her own existence?

She is the life I experienced as a child.

The Dwayne family, where I was born, was one of the most prominent and respected families in martial arts.

What was particularly unique about the family was that the outstanding martial arts talent had an effect on one’s appearance.

As the talent grew, the person’s hair and eyes became pitch black.

Conversely, as talent decreased, the colors gradually changed from black to bright colors.

Among them, my brightly shining silver hair and blue eyes were proof that I had no talent at all.

Fortunately, he was not abandoned out of the house, perhaps thanks to his status as a child of the family.

But there was no one on my side in the family.

It was possible to participate in teaching the family’s martial arts, but I was treated like an invisible person, and no matter what actions I took, my teachers and classmates all ignored me.

Tsk, maybe it would have been better if I just ignored it.

As I got older, my classmates started to form groups and started to ostracize me, the weakest person in the same space.

At first, he would just tap me as he passed by, then he would trip on me when I was standing still, or he would throw small objects at the back of my head during class to get on my nerves.

I tried to resist such pranks, but in a space where there was no one on my side, my resistance caused discomfort to them, and the intensity of the harassment grew stronger after that.

Physical harassment basically includes things I don’t even want to remember, such as forcing bugs into my food, pouring water on me when I use the restroom, and covering things up after damaging property.

I couldn’t handle it on my own, so I talked to my parents, but the only thing they said to me was, ‘So what should I do?’

So the solution I came up with was to become stronger.

I gave up my rest time and devoted my time to martial arts training despite the bullying, thinking that if I got stronger, no one would be able to ignore me.

I definitely believed that with hard work, I would be able to surpass my talent, which was determined by hair and eye color.

Then came the opportunity to prove my efforts.

During my martial arts class, there was a class where I had to spar with a fellow student, and the person I was sparring with was the leader of the group that was bullying me, and was evaluated as the most talented among my current classmates.

Of course, the evaluation factor is not martial arts skills, but the fact that the hair color and eyes are dark red.

I firmly believed that I could prove my efforts by beating him.

But how great would it be if reality came true as dreamed.

Even though that guy was clearly just playing around with other guys while I was training, none of my attacks hit him.

No, I was just a toy for him to play with.

At first, I just avoided it, probably because it wanted to give me an overwhelming feeling of helplessness that made me want to die.

Then, from the moment he realized that he couldn’t hit me even if I attacked him, he started attacking all parts except vital points.

Even though my body cried out in pain, I persevered and continued sparring, but in the end, I passed out on the sparring field.

The day I passed out, no one took care of me, and I went home without even being able to walk properly.

I don’t know how much I cried that day.

Fortunately, it was my only refuge at home because there was no one to bully me, but after my younger brother was born, even that wasn’t there.

My younger brother, who found out how the family was going, wouldn’t leave me alone in the house, and I now hated my parents who only took my younger brother’s side because they thought he was more talented than me.

When I was 15, I was kicked out of a family that had no place for me anymore.

I was kicked out of my family and was a loser, wandering around the streets and not belonging anywhere.

What is the point of living like this?

What is the reason for me to live, a life where I cannot find the meaning of existence?

That day, I thought about leaving this world.

No, I did.

The moment I risked my life and went into the forest full of animals to eat my body as food, a new spirit came over me.

At that time, I didn’t know if it was a divine name.

I didn’t know what force it was, but I felt connected to an unknown force.

Among them, what I became clear about was that through the power of connection, I, who had no talent at all, developed a talent.

Based on that talent, he was able to learn his own martial arts.

Less than a year later, I returned to the family, and there was no one in the family who could defeat me anymore.

Even the dark people who were said to be overflowing with talent were no match for me.

I felt so refreshed when I came back after destroying my family.

And I was grateful.

I was so grateful to the person who gave me this strength.

In addition, it provided not only martial arts talent but also all food, clothing, and shelter needed for battle.

I didn’t know why he was giving me this power, but for now, I knew one thing that my master wanted.

For me to become stronger.

My lord constantly supported me to become stronger.

The fact that an extra-dimensional being came to the continent of Aslan, where I could live, to conquer it made me realize that my lord wanted me to become someone who could protect this continent.

For several years, under the power of my master, I have been defeating demons like a person from a parallel world who received power from another being like me.

It was probably the most enjoyable period of my life before joining the Einherial Guild.

But that happy time did not last long.

I… Was abandoned by my lord.

I don’t know why it was abandoned.

But I could clearly feel that the connection was broken.

If I had lost my power, I might have gone crazy that day.

However, it became clear that my lord’s interest in me had disappeared.

I had no idea where to go, no supplies for battle, no connection with other people in the parallel world.

Demon was obviously getting stronger, but I was just standing still.

I visited my lord every night.

I called out to the sky and prayed earnestly for several hours a day.

However… The lord did not return.

Why? Was I… So untalented that I ultimately failed to satisfy my lord?

Having once again lost my reason for living, I wandered around the Aslan continent aimlessly.

I even thought about suicide again.

Then, the story of a guild called Einherial caught my ear.

The Ainherial Guild is led by four elite members, each of whom is said to be a being outside the category of humans.

All of Einherial’s guild members have never been highlighted before, but the moment I heard that they were comets and beings who suddenly became stronger, a flash of light passed through my mind.

I immediately went to the Einherial Guild and learned that there were four beings who had received power from the master.

The fact that he was abandoning me and helping others become stronger did not make me feel any sense of betrayal towards my master.

I just hoped that people would choose me again like the people here.

When the four guild members saw me, they realized that we were serving the same lord and accepted me as a temporary guild member.

I heard from a guild member that they decided to call the link, the power received from the lord, power.

The moment I heard that story, I couldn’t help but understand the word power.

Isn’t it the power that can make a talentless guy like me so strong?

Moreover, while people who received powers like me have their powers taken back after their master’s support is cut off, they have never found a case where the powers were left behind like me.

Hearing those words, I was filled with happiness thinking that my master had not abandoned me yet, and that sight was what that bitch Renia was most upset about.

Of course it is, because my lord, I am the one to whom the first authority was bestowed!

According to the guild members’ research and my experience traveling around the continent of Aslan even before the guild was formed, I have not found anyone who received the power before me.

I thought that my lord’s affection for me was special simply because he was the first to give me authority.

Otherwise, there would be no reason for me to leave it alone while others reclaim their authority.

Every time I said that I was my lord’s first, Renia tackled me one by one.

“Giggles, what if it’s the first one? It’s now abandoned. The one the Master cares about the most right now is me, Renia Eleister!”

There was no one in the guild who bullied me and everyone treated me well, but Renia was the only one that really bothered me.

I knew that I couldn’t win if I fought anyway, so I imprinted on my body the patience I had been good at since I was young.

And I finally felt like I was connected again.

The moment I felt so moved, I screamed to everyone where they were.

Yes, there is no way my lord will abandon me.

I am the first person to my lord.

My strength, which was overwhelmingly different from that of other guild members, quickly raised me to a level similar to everyone else’s.

I wanted to become strong to the level of the overwhelmingly strong Renia, but my lord did not give me that strength.

But that was just what I wanted, and the fact that I was once again connected to my lord was enough for me.

I gained strength and spent time catching demons with my guild members, and we became enemies with each other, saying things that Renia recommended to me once a day.

When I think about it, I guess I don’t like the part about my master being the first.

Although I am currently receiving the most strength from my lord, I regret that I am not the first to experience such strength, and I guess it is unpleasant for me to say that I am the first.

He is now the 5th proper member of the Einherial guild, and after that, additional members were added, and an emergency occurred again in the 8-member guild.

This time, the connection with the lord of all Einherial guilds was lost.

It is true that there were brief disconnections, but when all connections were lost for several months, I went into a state of panic.

Lenia said she’s never been more disconnected than she is now, but that didn’t matter to me.

Again… Abandoned again!

That alone brought out the feelings of abandonment that had been sleeping in a corner of my heart.

The fact that I could be abandoned by my master again shattered my heart.

From that day on, I spent my days locked in my room unable to do anything.

Then, I heard that the current lord has gone to another world and is suffering because he has lost his original powers.

With Eiya’s help, we easily completed the magic circle that would allow us to pass to the lord right away. I tried to approach the lord first, but it was said that Eli and Yuria came before me.

Ugh… I should have been first.

I should have come first and left a strong impression on my lord!

The good news is that he came before Renia.

It’s scary to think about how bad he’ll be when he finds out I was summoned later than him.

It’s not too late now.

I will strive to be my lord’s first.

More than anyone else…