Chapter 96 – The Reason I Like It

“What are you doing here?”

Lee Hyeon-woo seemed to be interested in me suddenly running out and coming back.

I can’t believe I’m having a child.

No. Since I’m on birth control pills now, it’s probably better not to have such expectations.

I didn’t think there was any need to mention the fact that I had just taken birth control pills, so I just glossed over his words.

“I threw away the ring. Why.”

“What is that thing on your left hand?”

“Is this the ring my second gave me?”

“∙∙∙Second? “What do you mean?”

“It was given to me by a man other than you. “Unlike you, I’m an expert at dating, so I meet a lot of men, right?”

I even promised to marry him, but I didn’t want to show that I liked him, so I pretended not to be interested.

You are just one fish in my fishery. He’s just one of the many men I meet casually.

I told a lie that didn’t work.

Hyunwoo Lee doesn’t understand what I’m saying for a moment, but then he realizes that what I said was a bluff and bursts into laughter.

“It’s funny that Mosol says things like that.”

“∙∙∙I told you not to say that!”

“Then is it okay to brag in front of your husband that you are having an affair?”

“Shut up. What kind of husband are you? “You just role-played like before?”

I talk back to him consistently and crawl into bed.

When I thought that I might be pregnant, I wanted to complain rather than say nice things.

Although she knows that women like this are unattractive. Still, if it’s him. Wouldn’t I like this too?

Even though I mix my body every day. When I tried to mix my thoughts, I felt uncomfortable somewhere.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m not used to it, or because my personality is askew.

What was certain was that I wanted to sleep in the same bed as him.

My bed was a complete single bed where only one person could lie down, so even if they lay as far out as possible, the two people had no choice but to be close together.

When I think about lying in the same bed, I turn around because I don’t want to show my red face.

I was usually the one who moved forward without hesitation, completely naked. When the sexual desire disappears, you become a squirrel again like before.

I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t even think about doing anything and just closed my eyes.

In the past, I often fantasized about what it would be like if we slept together. In real life, I can’t believe I’m acting like a fool.

Maybe Hyunwoo Lee was disappointed in me too.

Even though I did this much, I felt like I would hate myself if I continued to be frustrated.

Because I am only developing bad thoughts like that.

Sigh—

He put his hand between my armpits and hugged me from behind.

“∙∙∙∙∙∙!”

I was startled by his gentle touch, but calmed down when his warmth touched my back.

I felt more at ease than when I was alone, but for some reason, my heart continued to pound.

“There’s still a lot to hide. “My wife,”

“∙∙∙∙∙∙.”

“Why are you so embarrassed? “Are you embarrassed that you like me?”

“∙∙∙What. “What can I do?”

“When I proposed, he scolded me to make it more romantic. “I’m not ready for that.”

“∙∙∙∙∙∙”

A voice whispering softly into my ear.

There was no way anyone could hear our conversation, but it was a late night. Maybe it’s because we’re alone together. He was speaking in a lower voice.

That calm voice. My nervous heart gradually melted.

I place my hand on top of his hand holding me.

“∙∙∙Hey.”

“Huh?”

“∙∙∙Are you really going to marry me?”

This is a question that has already been asked many times, but his answer makes you want to hear it again and again.

Hyunwoo Lee answered my question as if it was obvious.

“Then, if you just ask me out without getting married. Are you going to date?”

“∙∙∙∙∙∙.”

“Then you’ll just run away like before. Even now. I’m trying to give off a couple vibe. “You keep whining like a child.”

“∙∙∙No.”

“Nothing. I didn’t understand for a moment what you meant because you said you were second. What about men other than me? “I’m so dumbfounded.”

I have nothing to say, so I just play with his hand. Hyunwoo Lee gently held me and continued speaking.

“I have a question. You. “Why did you like me?”

“∙∙∙Then you are”

“You know why I came to like you. “Why are you asking if you know?”

“∙∙∙I don’t know.”

“What if you tease me and say I don’t know? “You said you liked me, so I started liking you too.”

“∙∙∙∙∙∙.”

In fact, I didn’t know anything about Lee Hyun-woo, to the point where I knew that the main character in the pornographic videos he was watching was me.

I just didn’t want to admit it.

Is it because I want to delay answering, or is it because I don’t want to talk about myself?

I kept trying to run away as he said.

“I will stamp your marriage whenever you want. I also want to know your heart. We’re not dating casually. If I get married, I will have children later. “Before that, I need to know about you too.”

“∙∙∙I already knew everything.”

“I knew that too. Now I see that it wasn’t. “I recently discovered a huge secret.”

“∙∙∙∙∙∙.”

It’s a person I’ve seen for almost my whole life, but I’ve never noticed his feelings until now.

As soon as those words came out of my husband’s mouth, I thought it couldn’t go on like this.

I couldn’t be happy if I just ran away anymore.

I couldn’t make him happy because he liked me.

So. I took out the words I had hidden in my heart.

I’m not just saying I like it. My childhood friend. He talked about his feelings towards Lee Hyun-woo.

“∙∙∙Before. “There was a time when you saved my life.”

“When I saved your life?”

“∙∙∙When I decided to die. “You came first.”

Although it has become a memory now, it was quite serious at the time.

There was a time when I decided to commit suicide.

I just started middle school. It was a time when emotions were rich.

Someone’s death during that time. It was enough to make me agree too.

“Are you talking about that time? When your mother died?”

“∙∙∙Yes. At that time, I even wrote a will and lived alone. You came and stopped me. “Hugging me from behind like now.”

It’s still a vivid memory.

The person he used to see suddenly disappeared and he felt like his heart had been ripped open.

The empty mind made me depressed. Before I knew it, all I could see was my feet standing on the edge of a high railing.

I felt like if I stepped down here, I could fill my empty heart.

But what filled my heart was not death, but my friend who stopped me from behind.

Lee Hyun-woo, who was shorter than me at the time, desperately tried to stop me with his small body.

My wounds were stitched up as he cried and begged me not to die as he tried his best to somehow pull me back.

From then on, the reason I lived was because Hyunwoo Lee was by my side.

As I thought only about Lee Hyun-woo every day, I naturally started wanting a deeper relationship from just being friends.

“∙∙∙You were cute back then. “Now it’s grown so big that it’s disgusting.”

After he brought out his hidden feelings, he felt relieved and played a prank on him.

This time, it wasn’t a prank to run away, it was a prank to get closer to him.

Like a couple fighting. No matter how hard you try to cut it off, it ends up sticking even tighter. Such a joke.

“∙∙∙∙∙∙.”

I was trying to lighten the mood, but I guess it was because the topic I was talking about was quite heavy.

Lee Hyun-woo remained silent.

They don’t even accept my jokes. The way he just holds my hand.

Then he spoke carefully.

“∙∙∙To be honest. “That was back then.”

“∙∙∙Yes.”

“∙∙∙I liked you too.”

He pauses for a moment, then continues.

“The problem is. I didn’t know that at the time. “No, even if I knew it, I believed it wasn’t true.”

“∙∙∙Why?”

“It feels like I’m taking advantage of you. Because I always go with you. I’m the only one who knows where you are. I have no choice but to save you unconditionally. “I didn’t want you to be forced to date me because of that favor.”

The place where I tried to commit suicide. It was the rooftop of an old villa that we used as a hideout when we were in elementary school.

I don’t remember why I went there. Because when I opened my eyes, it was there.

Perhaps, he was hoping that Lee Hyeon-woo would stop me.

“∙∙∙Do you think I’m a fool? “I’m not the type of girl who forces you to date, am I?”

“I know. You never know. At that time, we stayed together throughout elementary school. “I thought if I confessed then, it would be like a threat.”

“∙∙∙If you don’t date me, I will break off ties with you. “Something like this?”

“Okay. And I didn’t particularly want to show off about it.”

In fact, Lee Hyun-woo had never talked about what happened back then.

Even now, I sometimes make fun of him when I urinate while taking a test, and he never mentions it.

Of course, it may have been because the moment he said it, the mood became too serious, but he didn’t expect anything from me.

I just took it for granted that I was helping a friend.

“∙∙∙Then I am. I fell in love with you because of that. “If I say yes, won’t you date me?”

“So I told you before. If you’re going to say something, please say it quickly. “You wasted your time looking at other women.”

“∙∙∙I see.”

What I heard was true.

Thanks to my frustrating personality. I couldn’t even express it until now, but it got to this point.

I hid my feelings for a long time, but it was only when my masturbation video was caught that I was accidentally discovered.

‘You did a good job filming the masturbation video∙∙∙’

At first, I took pictures out of a twisted desire, but this is what made me my husband.

I really don’t know what’s going on in the world.

“Hey. Then, when you liked me before. “Did you want to have sex with me?”

“∙∙∙What are you talking about? How old were you at that time? “I liked it completely purely.”

“I wanted to do it with you back then too.”

“∙∙∙∙∙∙.”

“It’s a lie. “I didn’t know it was dirty back then, right?”

Lee Hyeon-woo was shocked and dazed, but when he heard my laughter, he sighed.

Then, a word uttered for revenge.

“Even if I knew at the time, I wouldn’t have done it.”

“Huh? Why?”

“I guess you didn’t want to take them off because your breasts were small?”

“∙∙∙∙∙∙.”

Listening to those words brings back memories of those times.

When I was young, I heard that men like women with big breasts, so I massaged my breasts every day as if telling them to grow bigger.

I have quite big breasts now, probably because I have a habit of massaging them before going to bed and every time I take a shower, but they weren’t back then.

Because it was a time when my breasts were smaller than Hyunwoo Lee’s breasts.

Therefore. At that time, making fun of my breasts. It was a comment that ignored my efforts.

“∙∙∙Do you want to rummage? “You won’t be able to touch my breasts starting tomorrow?”

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

“Hey you husband! “Is that what you want to say to your wife?”

The serious atmosphere from before has gone, and we’re fighting like friends again.

I wonder if this is true for a married couple, but this was still our relationship.

Even without having to say something romantic or embarrassing, my heart was racing.

Even though the words were spoken harshly, the mouth spitting them out was smiling.

So we argued with each other for a while, and then, exhausted, we hugged each other and fell asleep.

That day, for the first time, I didn’t dream.

The dream I always had was either a delusion involving Lee Hyun-woo, or a nightmare in which the events of that day were repeated. Today I was able to fall into a deep sleep for the first time.

Maybe it’s because I spoke frankly about it. I no longer had the pain of the past.

Instead, only my childhood friend who became my husband was hugging me.