314 – Between Love and Love – 3

Cracking open a human trash’s skull wasn’t a problem. But cleaning up afterward was something to think about.

“Should we drive him out of the city? Warn him never to show his face again.”

“How did I ever fall for a man like this… If only this guy were okay, everything else could have been happily agonizing problems.”

A grumble escaped without even realizing it.

For the record, I’d finished recording with magic, so there was plenty of evidence. There were more than enough means to make them understand he had been scheming and exploiting love.

The problem is, as long as the elf’s reaction isn’t, “Our Le-whatchamacallit wouldn’t do that,” or, “I still like Le-whatchamacallit despite everything.”

Emotional issues are such a pain in the ass.

From a third-party perspective, the cost-benefit is so obvious. But the moment emotion starts weighing in, even the most obvious answers become wrong ones.

Even if the entire wild elf clan is at risk, if the client elf comes out with, “Even if the love isn’t real, I love him, so I’ll try to make it work somehow…”?

Do I have to respect that feeling, or do I cut it off decisively, saying, ‘This is going to hurt you, so I have to stop it’?

I shifted my gaze to Selvier, who was also pondering. She was still huffing, the embers of anger still glowing. She was such a pure child, reacting so fiercely to someone else’s love.

Seeing her, I understood. The answer was decided in this case.

It had to be cut off. A relationship that was wrong from the start is unstable.

The story where a guy with ulterior motives realizes true love and reaches a happy ending… that’s impossible unless someone’s puppet-mastering the world. It’s not a probability we can handle.

Besides, if that slim chance of a happy ending fails, it will only leave scars on everyone. It’s better to cut off these kinds of situations quickly… or so I thought.

“We’re cutting off the guy. The next question is how to do it. Would it be better to expel the man and explain the situation, or just make him disappear without explanation?”

I asked, but I knew what Selvier’s answer would be even before she spoke.

“Of course, you have to tell her!”

“Just for the sake of asking, why?”

“Because it’s pain she needs to experience. She might have this happen again, and if she wants to make the right choice next time, she needs to have experienced it beforehand.”

“I agree.”

It’s the age-old theory of trials.

The saying, “That which does not kill me makes me stronger,” is true. To prepare for the next time she meets a bad guy and falls in love, it’s better for her to experience this now.

Once the stance was decided, Selvier lowered her gaze, somber.

“…It seemed like they had a date planned for tomorrow. The elf and that man.”

“Yeah, well. The client elf was probably expecting a date.”

“And here we are, about to deliver a breakup notice. Not that that’s a *bad* thing! It’s just… a little sad. Still, it has to be done, right?”

“……..”

Right. It was what needed to be done.

As quickly as possible.

–

The wild elf wore a face like the sky had just fallen.

“….That… happened? Lumio?”

“Yes. Separate from this mental bond improvement, I believe… continuing a romantic relationship isn’t a good idea.”

“Lies, Lumio was, he was so passionate with me…”

“……..”

Silently, I offered the recording. Only after replaying it several times could the elf accept the reality. Her face, stained with betrayal and hurt, streamed with tears.

“…It’s resolved then. The request.”

I delivered the hollow end to the letter sent to the Academy.

Selvier and I entered the elven forest with the heartbroken client elf. The path we’d seen before flashed past, and before long the elven village, seen previously from the crow’s data, came into view.

Whispering voices could be heard from between the leaves.

“A human! A human came with Julietta who’s crying her eyes out!”

“It’s the Crow human! Don’t make eye contact… or maybe a baby will happen!”

It was rowdy, but no arrows flew, nor were we blocked. It seemed they knew I came for the ‘mental bond’ maintenance.

Of course. They linked their minds every day. This kind of guidance would have been passed to everyone without fail.

I reached the World Tree sapling in the center of the village.

It’s a bizarre-looking tree, no matter how many times I see it. Patches of blue here and there, spiderweb-like things hanging down, and the overall color gives off this vibe like it’ll deal poison damage.

I place my hand on it. The World Tree sapling writhes, and I feel it extending formless roots into me. I close my eyes and focus, stretching my mana and connecting with its core.

“If anything happens, guard me, Selvier.”

“Yes, leave it to me, oppa.”

*Thump.*

With the sensation of sinking below the surface, my magical senses visually reconstructed the structure of the World Tree and the elven village. A complex, interwoven net-like shape.

I peer deeper. The succubus queen built her nest by connecting dreams, but what did these elves use to bind themselves?

“……”

“……Oppa?”

I quickly found the answer.

This was the first time I’d actually witnessed the ‘spiritual binding’ of elves in its true form. That crazy raven had only applied its properties, I hadn’t actually experienced it firsthand.

That’s why, only after seeing it myself, I felt this sense of wrongness. I examined it repeatedly, then told Selvier what I’d discovered.

“An Utterance, it’s expressed by staining the soul with emotion, right? In other words…the soul is a path for emotions to flow. You could call it an emotion-conductor.”

“Why are you talking about Utterances all of a sudden…?”

“So, wild elves weren’t sharing emotions and memories. They were connecting their souls. Emotions… it was a secondary effect, spreading naturally in the process.”

“Huh? So, what… what does that mean?”

It doesn’t mean anything. But, if you add a little suspicion, the story changes.

From here on, it’s conspiracy theory. It’s an if. Let’s assume the if.

What if I was actually an evil son-of-a-b*tch, and I was using this World Tree – the control tower of all spiritual bindings – to broadcast a wave of soul-corrupting madness into the elven community?

When one member of the elven community suffers a heart-wrenching, terrible pain, that pain spreads to the whole. Ironically, in this tale, pain is doubled when shared.

A wild elven group agonizes. Then, one among them stains their soul with emotion and awakens an aphorism. That individual’s experience is then repeatedly fed back, spreading it to the other elves.

At this time, it doesn’t matter whether each individual awakens their aphorism or not. I’ll connect them in series. I’ll view an elven group as one vast soul. This is possible because wild elves periodically graft their souls to each other through “mental bonds.”

“So…like mages preparing en masse to unleash a large-scale spell, the wild elves can simultaneously chant… and use a 『Collective Aphorism』, you’re saying.”

“Yeah.”

The soul output of an elven group created like that is fundamentally different. The sheer quantity of soul is greater, making them far more powerful compared to other aphorism users.

But it’s not a story that’ll go so smoothly. If one could use another’s aphorism just by linking souls, I’d have borrowed Yuli’s aphorism when I fought the Succubus Queen.

The reason I didn’t is, of course, because there are side effects.

“I did a rough calculation, and if they fire a 『Collective Aphorism』, their souls will be shredded. It’s like…sewing the hearts of thirty people in a row together. If you then make their hearts beat fast, you know?”

I felt a deep sense of unease with this nature of the elves.

Let’s summarize. They’re strangely vulnerable to external mental attacks, mental magic; thus, it’s easy to seize control of the whole group with simple affection; and depending on how they’re used, they can exhibit extreme power as a disposable bio-unit…

Isn’t this more like a weapon of war than a living creature?

I thought it was strange. Wild elves are too ambiguous. Neither a hive nor an individual. Each elf has a different appearance and personality, but they maintain hive-like characteristics almost by force through ‘mental bonds’.

Why would there be a need for that? It doesn’t make sense for a naturally born life form. Isn’t it too big of a security flaw?

But if this was a design based on a need, then it makes sense. It was created with flaws from the start. I sense artificial meddling with them.

“………”

“Of course, now that I’ve reached this point, whether this conspiracy theory is real or not, the wild elves’ security flaws will disappear after today.”

I will place a barrier that can be turned ON/OFF between linked souls.

They will still feel emotions, but those emotions won’t stain their souls. When they feel someone else’s joy or sorrow, it will be mitigated to the feeling of reading a comic book.

If a deeper understanding is necessary, they’ll be able to voluntarily open the soul barrier using a trigger I’ll create. If I just put these selective firewalls in place, they won’t be helplessly swayed by outside forces anymore.

“On top of that, the wild elf society itself needs a change. Like, having judges who set aside emotion and make practical decisions, or implementing a license system so only individuals with strong minds can open barriers.”

I set up walls.

I placed walls between connected souls, and I programmed algorithms to generate barriers within the World Tree sapling as well. It was a task that required some serious brainpower, but who am I? I’m a crazy wizard.

About half a day passed, and I finished the World Tree patch.

–

The sunset was sprawled out on my way back after finishing work. The clouds were just right, so it wasn’t blinding, and I could fully enjoy the emotion the sun was giving.

I walked along the path, side by side with Selvier.

She seemed extremely tense. Her steps were faltering and her gaze darted around. She must have sensed it too. That I was about to give an answer.

I’d thought about it a lot. Emotional issues are always a pain in the ass.

From a third-party perspective, the pros and cons are so obvious, but once emotions start getting involved, even wrong answers can feel right.

So, I mean.

“…I’m going to reject you.”

“…………”

I spoke what I had been thinking to Selvier. Hoping it might offer some solace to her wounded heart.

There’s only one reason I rejected Selvier’s confession.

Because a relationship that was wrong from the start is unstable.

“I still haven’t received my memories from ‘The Promise.’ Those are memories that are closely connected to ‘it’ in my head, so the memories you and I shared in the past will remain tied up indefinitely.”

“I, I know. I heard! But-”

“I don’t have the memories to reciprocate your feelings. In this state where the past is unclear, how can we build a relationship based on that past?”

A house built on sand is bound to collapse. Selvier is chasing after the ‘older brother’ who saved her childhood, but I can’t become that ‘older brother.’

She tries to convey love to me somehow, but the feelings I should inherently have are beyond the veil of my memory. To me, Selvier isn’t a childhood friend, but a student, and we’re looking in opposite directions.

“And… I’ll get my memories back someday, but frankly, there’s no telling when. No one knows if it’ll take 10 years, or 100 years, until I completely overcome ‘it’.”

“I don’t mind-“

“That’s why, I don’t want to see you hurting more. I can’t be an older brother.”

Isn’t this a messed up thing to do?

Me, without any memories, continuing to act like an older brother, and her, waiting anxiously for someone who might never come back, living like that.

*Thud*, Selvier’s steps stopped. I took a couple more steps before halting myself. I didn’t turn back.

“I, I clearly told you. I’d burn only for you. It doesn’t matter if you don’t remember. I’ll take… I’ll take you as my older brother, no matter what!”

“And that’s why, even more, I’ve decided to cut it off.”

Should I respect her feelings, or should I cut it off decisively, saying it’ll be harmful to her?

I chose the latter.

People who can empathize with others are generally sensitive to emotions. Selvier is a good kid who gets really angry at other people’s heartbreaking love stories.

So how much pain must she be feeling herself? As much as she received in the past, she’s struggling to be of help to me this time. And each time she confirms that I don’t remember a single one of those memories, her heart must be aching.

A heartbreak leaves a pain that’s momentary. But continuous hope torture casts a shadow on one’s whole life. To respond to her love… my feelings aren’t genuine. That’s what I thought.

I refused.

“…Honestly, I just see you as a cute little sister.”

“…Hey!!”

I got hit on the back. It was a punch with not even a little bit of force.

I remained still until the sobbing behind me subsided. Then, casually, in a voice no different from usual, I said,

“Should we grab some dessert on the way? When we were tailing that ‘Lemething,’ I saw a bakery that smelled really good.”

“⋯⋯⋯⋯.”

“Or maybe, just to relieve stress, a fancy restaurant or something⋯⋯.”

“I won’t give up.”

I turned at Selvier’s answer. And at that moment, an indescribable, sharp pain shot through my shin. Selvier had kicked my joint.

“Guh⋯⋯.”

As I crouched, clutching my shin, a roar erupted from above me.

“No matter what you say, I won’t give up. Don’t you remember the past? Can’t you be an older brother? Then I’ll give you what you want, Professor. Professor! Is that enough?!”

“⋯⋯⋯⋯.”

“—Even so, I can’t give up on love.”

Stride after stride, a living sun brushed past me. Yet, for some reason, the ground was left with what looked like rain puddles.

It feels like a ball of fluff is rolling around in my head. I don’t know if this was a good decision or a bad one. But, the feeling that I hope he doesn’t get hurt, that much doesn’t waver.

What is it about me that makes him go to such lengths for me?

I quietly walked after Selvier.

–

The inner world of a mad wizard.

『The Promise』, rocking in an armchair in front of a black dome, looked up at the sky, now raging with thunder and lightning, with a sorrowful expression.

He doesn’t know his memories. It’s like a card turned face down. Unable to look at it currently, the mad wizard had bet on rejecting the confession.

“It would have been better not to do that⋯⋯.”

If he had known the card was an ace, wouldn’t things have been different?

But, even if it’s temporarily twisted and turned away, it’s not a bond that will vanish in a puff of smoke. When the time comes, the feelings will find their place. 『The Promise』 could only wait for the future.