368 – Pope Yang and Hero Mister

KIEEEEEEEK-!

No scream was actually heard, but from the violently wriggling movements, such a shriek could be imagined. The fragment of the evil dragon thrashed about in agony, rolling around thanks to the 『Antibiotic』.

CHIIIIK-!

The sound of an acidic reaction hissed, and black smoke billowed upwards. Seeing this, Heart clasped Arte’s hands tightly and hopped up and down.

“We did it! Arte, we did it!”

“Yes, it’s completely lost its vigor. More detailed verification is necessary, but… perhaps this will prevent us from having to worry about widespread brainwashing.”

“Finally, the chance to give that son-of-a-b*tch a taste of his own medicine!”

“Heart, I understand you’re excited, but your current persona is crumbling…?”

Even if separated from the main body, Heart was once a part of the mad wizard. Therefore, Heart held a great deal of animosity towards the evil dragon in her mind. She grinned as she poured more 『Antibiotic』 onto it.

CHIIIIIIIIIIIIK-!

KIEEEEEK-!

Good. This drug is effectively destroying the evil dragon’s composition. It won’t melt the dragon scales where the information has hardened into solid form, but it is certainly dissolving the less resistant parts.

We’ll stop before increasing the toxicity any further, as that would make ingestion difficult. The purpose of 『Antibiotic』 is, after all, to prevent the evil dragon’s hypnosis.

Now, only a few more processes are needed. Adding strawberry flavoring to make it easier to ingest, or removing any potential side effects.

“Alright. Now we’ll store this fragment safely and hand it over to the main body. First, for all our hard work… How about a shot of vodka, Arte?”

“Coffee is enough for me. And a warning in advance, if you bring up the alcohol-coffee concept one more time, the Third Frame War will begin. I’ve warned you clearly.”

“Isn’t high-proof liquor just good manners to a person from the North──”

Arte and Heart left the laboratory, celebrating their success. The lights in the empty laboratory turned off, leaving only the evil dragon fragment alone inside the glass tube.

Wriggle, wriggle.

Extending a slender tendril to survey the outside situation, the evil dragon fragment realized that the dangerous figures were absent and began its activities. Neither Pope, nor alchemist, nor the mad wizard’s doppelganger were present.

Tung. Tung. Tung.

It knocks against the glass wall. Repetitive and rhythmic.

Two paladins stand guard outside this laboratory.

The guarding paladins have been issued the order: ‘Absolutely do not enter.’ For without mental defenses, there was a risk of succumbing to the dragon’s shard.

But manuals exist because they are not obeyed.

Guards are replaced every half-day, and at this hour, it would be the most sensitive and anxiety-ridden of the paladins on duty. The dragon’s shard knew this fact from long observation.

He hates it when something untoward happens and he gets blamed for it. So, if a suspicious sound came from inside, he would defy orders and try to take a peek, however slight.

Lest he be asked, ‘Why didn’t you check inside when you heard a strange noise?’ Out of anxiety over something that hasn’t even happened.

Writhing, wriggling. It generates a complex vocal structure, then artificially produces the sound of shattering glass. *Cr-rack!*

There is a reaction.

*Screeeak.*

“I definitely heard something break…”

One of the paladins enters and surveys the laboratory’s interior. The lab feels so still and serene that it appears peaceful. Nothing broken.

The ‘Hazardous Material’ seems to be safely contained inside its glass enclosure… or so he thought. Writhing, wriggling, slithering.

*Flash.*

The shard of the dragon forms large eyes and opens them wide. The paladin makes eye contact. The pupils shift. A bizarre, hypnotic movement ensnares the paladin’s mind…

About three seconds. The paladin, dazed, drools and mumbles.

“Ah, Ah, aaah… Mother, why are you in there? I’ll get you out…”

He grips his shield with both hands, raises it high, and brings it down on the glass case containing the dragon’s shard. Again and again.

Crunch, Crack, Shatter!

“Wait, what are you doing? Are you insane?!”

The other paladin, who entered belatedly upon hearing the noise, tried to intervene, but it was already too late. Through the cracks in the glass enclosure, through the small gap, the dragon’s shard had escaped.

*Shiiish shiiiish shiiiish!*

It instantly cloaks itself in invisibility, slithering across the floor and disappearing.

Now, having obtained freedom. The dragon’s shard had but one task. An exceptionally clear objective, perhaps even worthy of being called a sacred ‘Mission’.

Sabotage for the dragon’s main body? No. That was too insignificant compared to the ‘Mission’.

Then, an assassination targeting key figures of the holy city? No. Merely killing the Pope was not enough to satisfy it.

It hides. The dragon’s shard slipped into the room of the Shadow Warrior, Bennett Hilton. And climbed onto the bed, changing its form. Into a highly poisonous and deadly shape.

After waiting a short while, Saintess Tara, having concluded her week-long fast, entered Bennett’s room. Immediately, she discovers it.

“… … … …?”

The shard of the Evil Dragon, transformed into Niore’s, ahem, *suggestive* panties.

A lightbulb flickered on above Tara’s head. Only one reason Niore’s undergarments would be in Bennett’s room. The lot of them, while Tara was diligently praying to the Goddess… they did it!

Tara, burning with betrayal, burst from the room.

“Bennett! Niore! How could you do this to me?! You promised loyalty, resistance! I was fasting and praying all day–“

Crystal clear.

The Evil Dragon shard had achieved its objective. But much remained to be done. It shifted its form and scuttled away.

The great work that the Evil Dragon shard prioritized above even its own survival. It was, of course—

Chaos.

—

The emergency siren wailed, and a top-level crisis meeting convened immediately. The following members hastily arrived:

Finn, the Hero, dragged in while buying freshly baked bread from a street vendor for the Pope.

“So, Heart, you’re saying you *didn’t* pour alcohol in my coffee as some kind of prank?”

“I told you, I didn’t. If I had some kind of vendetta against Arte, I’d have framed it in an art piece.”

Arte, the Grand Alchemist, victim of the caffeinated assault, and her attendant, Heart.

“S-Sorry, Bennett. I, I just thought… I mistook it for Niore’s.”

Tara, the Saintess, face flushed with shame, being comforted by Niore.

“………”

…And Bennett, sporting a fresh set of claw marks on his face.

Bennett maintained his usual stoic, dignified expression, but a hint of injustice shimmered in his eyes. He *had* maintained his pledge of loyalty for a whole week.

“Can someone explain the situation.”

At his somewhat mournful inquiry, Heart began to explain.

“The Evil Dragon shard escaped. And… it disguised itself as Niore’s underwear to undermine Bennett’s self-control.”

“I know that part. I experienced it firsthand. What I need explained is *why*. Instead of causing mass riots in the Holy City or driving people mad with mind control, why…”

“It’s the ‘safeguard’. The main body, the Mad Sorcerer, prepared for this eventuality beforehand.”

Not even 0.1% of carelessness can be allowed. The chance of even the smallest fragment escaping cannot be 0%.

Therefore, the Mad Sorcerer placed a ‘circlet’ on the Evil Dragon shard. Its location would be tracked wherever it fled, and if it harmed anyone, the damage would not exceed the realm of a wicked prank.

Heart rummaged in her bag, producing various items. Tools she’d prepared in advance.

“This is a tracking device. And this is a capture scroll. If you get it in your sights, tear it open immediately. It’s already restricted, so there shouldn’t be any danger.”

“…Let’s go catch that damned thing. And Tara, your lack of faith will be punished on the bed tonight.”

-Bennett seems a little put out. It’ll be a long night for you, won’t it, Tara?

“⋯⋯⋯⋯!!”

One by one, they gathered their gear and departed. And once Arte and Hart had also left the meeting room, only Fin remained, utterly alone.

He muttered, gathering his own equipment. Everything’s fine, but must they flaunt their affections so openly at the office?

“Ha⋯⋯ when will I ever marry? I don’t even dream of two wives, like that Bennett fellow. First, I need to somehow quit this hero gig.”

Bennett’s party, the great alchemist, and even the suspiciously multi-talented Hart the attendant had already departed. The escaped fragment of the Evil Dragon would likely be caught by them.

While Fin searched one block, they would be racing through ten, a hundred blocks. Even so, he couldn’t just stand idly by. He was a hero, even if in name only.

To fulfill his duty, he bolted outside, intending to diligently search for fragments of the Evil Dragon, as much as his abilities allowed.

—

His path was filled with cries of despair.

“I swear I found a strange book under your bed?!”

“No, darling, I truly quit drinking. I never hid any alcohol in the cupboard!”

“Boss, if I had money, I would pay off my debts first. Truly!”

It was undeniably terrifying. It was just a tiny fragment, yet how could it incite such widespread domestic strife?

To quell the chaos, Fin raised his imitation holy sword high and shouted.

“Citizens, I am the hero, Fin! There is a phantom-type monster roaming the city! It changes its form and sows discord among the people! Please, do not be swayed!”

“Aha! So, it was that thing’s doing that I lost money at the gambling den today!”

“I think that’s a separate matter⋯⋯.”

He tried to calm the citizens as he advanced, following the tracking device, but suddenly, a hypothesis flashed through Fin’s mind. Why had this fragment of an evil god targeted Bennett and Arte?

Many people lived in the Holy City. And most of them were less dangerous than the two mentioned targets. Yet, for it to mess with them was no coincidence.

Perhaps the Evil Dragon’s fragment harbored a deep-seated resentment. A desire for revenge against those who had imprisoned and studied it, against those it had witnessed in the laboratory. Hence, it was primarily targeting Bennett and Arte.

If that was the case⋯⋯?

“⋯⋯Oh no, the Pope!”

Yes, the Pope had also been present at the scene. Fin frantically began to run towards the Pope’s residence. He couldn’t bear to see those evil claws reach for that kind, gentle child.

The little Pope.

Bright, virtuous, and remarkable. It was, in a way, thanks to the Pope that Fin even harbored dreams of marriage. How joyful life would be if he could have a son like him?

Truly, he was someone you could never bear to hurt.

Tomorrow, they were supposed to keep a promise that had been postponed due to a summons from a crazy magician. They had planned a picnic on a hill where the stars were clearly visible. The little Pope was incredibly excited and even packed a homemade lunch.

If that wretched⋯⋯ Evil Dragon fragment were to approach the Pope… perhaps it would ruin the handmade lunch, or maybe tear up all of his clothes so he couldn’t go out.

If that happened, the little Pope would conceal his disappointment and instead comfort Fin, saying, “I’m okay, Fin.”

That time must not be disturbed. I wouldn’t want to betray expectations.

Tada-dat.

Hearts naturally trailed beside Finn as he sprinted.

“Sir Finn! You started late, yet you’re already in the lead? Did you perhaps discern the chaff scattered by the evil dragon’s shard?”

“…Pardon?”

Tadat. Tat.

The Bennet party dropped from a nearby rooftop, landing beside Finn to run alongside him.

“It was using self-division to create confusion. It wasn’t easy to track, Finn. Have you begun to use the powers granted by the Goddess?”

“No, no I haven’t…”

The scattered pursuit squad had unexpectedly regrouped. Which meant the chances of the Pope being targeted were indeed high! Finn strained his muscles, increasing his speed.

He reached the palace. Passing through the entrance, traversing the hallway, he burst open the doors to the Pope’s chambers.

“Your Holiness-!!”

And beyond lay…

“Finn, so if I grow up big enough… when I become an adult, can I marry Finn? Will you really promise me that…?”

“As many times as you wish. Until then, I will stay by your side, attending to His Holiness. Haha, but surely your mind will change. There are many wonderful people in the world, and by then, I’ll just be an old man.”

“U-uh-huh. I have to pray diligently to the Goddess. To make me grow up quickly…”

The Pope, enacting the ‘When I grow up, I’ll marry you’ line on a Finn, was actually the evil dragon’s shard in disguise, and it was indulging her whims.

The little Pope, her face flushed, was conversing with the fake Finn when she startled, thrown into confusion by the person bursting through the door.

“E-eh? Two Finns…?”

“Your Holiness! That one is an imposter!”

Finn tore the scroll with all his might.

Boo-ook! Pa-a-at!

As the scroll tore, the magic dispelled. The fake Finn’s form wavered greatly, then instantly shrunk down, becoming a black orb rolling across the floor.

Got it.

Finn rushed forward, scooping up the Pope and pulling away, while Hart and Neriel safely secured the evil dragon’s shard within a sealing container.

The Pope, covering her reddened face with both hands, asked in a voice so small it nearly disappeared.

“…D-did you perhaps hear it?”

“…………….”

He heard it.

He heard it, and these childhood emotions, like the fake Finn said… they would surely change with growth and age. Perhaps it was just a confusion of affection, mistaken for love of family.

Still, he needed to convey the harsh reality.

“Um, well. Your Holiness. Men cannot be joined together, by law.”

“………?”

The little Pope’s eyes widened. But, there was a slightly different feel to it. It seemed he already knew that. Then… what was the Pope so shocked and surprised about?

Even Bennet Party and Hart were staring at Finn with bewildered expressions. Finn, sweating profusely, asked,

“Did, did I perhaps make some kind of mistake…?”

“Finn, the Pope is a girl. Didn’t you know?”

“Huh?”

“Eh?”

Finn was thrown into a fluster, utterly bewildered. As far as he knew, the Pope was a man. He had definitely seen it while studying the Goddess Church after being chosen as the Hero. The Pope had always been a man, and women with high divine power aptitude became Saintesses instead of Popes.

Furthermore, the little Pope was wearing men’s clothing!

“The Cardinals needed a figurehead. It was better for them if the Pope was a woman. If the Pope ever got too clever and gained power, they could just say her real gender was female and kick her out.”

“………”

*I didn’t know,* he thought.

He had been playing sword fights with wooden swords, hunting for treasure, and throwing stones at targets, all thinking the Pope was a boy. And the Pope had been good at all those games!

No.

He was a little flustered, but nothing really changed. Whether the Pope was male or female.

There was still a ten-year age difference. When the Pope reached seventeen, Finn would be twenty-seven. An old man on the cusp of his thirties. Would that little spark of affection from their early days even remain?

This world was rife with political marriages, but Finn hoped the Pope would meet someone good. Someone not too far apart in age, and with great abilities.

When she grew up, she would quickly forget Finn and find a more suitable person to keep by her side. Around that time, Finn would be working as an adventurer in the countryside.

And also, he would have already taken a wife and gotten married by then. Surely it wasn’t too hard to find a spouse when half the world was women?

Yeah. That’s how it would be.

Seeing that scene and the subtle undercurrents, Hart could read the events of the distant future.

“The whole story is clear as day, Arte.”

“…What story?”

To summarize this vision of the future in a single sentence:

‘The Pope I served was actually a girl, and for some reason she’s suspiciously fixated on me, a mere adventurer who accidentally became the Hero?!’

That would be it.