114 – The Returner’s Efforts (9)

In a quiet cafe. There is silence except for the soft sound of music. This is because Choi Ji-won is speechless.

“… Yes?”

“I’m a regressor.”

“… “

How would you feel if you came to someone you knew for advice about something they were having a hard time with, and suddenly found out that you were a regressor? I don’t know. Maybe it’s absurd?

However, Choi Ji-won’s reaction was more extreme than expected.

“Are you out of your mind? “f*ck.”

“… Yes?”

“Does it look like you’re joking? What did you say when you asked to talk? A regressor? “I called you Junho, Junho, and you think it’s really me?”

Choi Ji-won reacts much colder than expected. He glares at me with cold eyes and a completely expressionless expression.

A scene that reminds me of PTSD from the tutorial. Yes, I often regressed after getting beaten up by Choi Ji-won, who had a face like that. It feels new to see it for the first time in a while.

And the reason why Choi Ji-won suddenly took action is predictable.

“Are you having a meltdown?”

“… What?”

“That’s right.”

Bungbung is the main culprit that caused me to regress countless times during the tutorial. He seemed like a guy. The way he spoke became much more lively than before, so I was worried for a moment, but Choi Ji-won couldn’t be like that.

“No, how could you…” “

Bungbung is slurring his words and speaking gibberish. The guy seemed very embarrassed, started moving his hands around wildly, and then hid as if he was at a loss for words. It means that Choi Ji-won’s ego has returned.

“How…” Did you know?”

Choi Ji-won looks equally shocked. She didn’t tell me about Bungbung on the second floor. It’s no wonder she’s embarrassed because someone who shouldn’t know her secret knows.

“I told you. “He’s a regressor.”

“… “It wasn’t a joke, was it?”

“No. “I will now explain to you step by step what happened.”

After clearing my throat, I slowly explained everything that had happened so far.

“We first met in the tutorial.”

In the vacant lot of the tutorial, Choi Ji-won was chosen to learn swordsmanship.

I tried to tell a lie and got cut by Bungbung countless times.

After meeting the goblin shaman and being betrayed by him, everything went wrong.

An exchange of sincerity with each other while the return was confirmed. Something I did with a close friend who truly supported me.

“Do you remember the second floor? “We cleared it together and then moved on to the third floor.”

I did my best to resist the unreasonable structure of the second floor.

After waiting for Choi Ji-won to come, she finally liberated the owner of the city.

“It split on the third floor, right?”

Meeting new people on the 3rd floor.

Repeated regression to break through the arrow trap.

At the end, after being betrayed by Dok Soo-hee, he blew off his arm.

“I think the 4th floor was the most difficult. It’s cold, it’s long, people die… “

Information discovered through numerous regressions on the 4th floor.

Saving the people on the 4th floor and persuading Choi Ji-won. Even being in a situation where you have to choose one of the two.

“Wow, I’m thirsty.”

After recounting what would have been at least 110 episodes if written as a novel, I quench my thirst and sip a Frappuccino.

“How do you feel?”

“… What?”

“It’s an impression.”

“… “

Howl.

Choi Ji-won drinks an iced Americano without answering right away. After a moment, her lips open.

“I believe in your return. But I don’t know.”

“… “

“Well… I don’t know.”

My story that Choi Ji-won doesn’t know. Choi Ji-won’s story that Choi Ji-won doesn’t know. There was no way she would feel any inner intimacy just because I suddenly said this to her. I just understand, ‘That’s right.’

“There are many things that can be said lightly. It must have been hard, you’re amazing, you’re cool, etc… But I don’t think that’s my truth.”

Choi Ji-won did not say the clichés that anyone can say. She is trying to answer as seriously as I am serious.

“Actually, I’m curious. What is the reason you are telling me this story? “Why did you talk about the 4th floor?”

Choi Ji-won takes Bungboong out of his bag and gently strokes it. Cafe Alba’s eyes widen for a moment, but the owner stops her from reporting the incident to the police, as if this is a familiar sight.

“In the tutorial… “We were very close, right?”

“That’s right.”

“Then you don’t know. “What will I answer?”

That’s right. The Choi Ji-won I know would not be happy about her ‘abandoning the people in front of her and coming to help her.’ Additionally, there are many practical problems.

“Besides, even if you come and talk in person… There’s no guarantee that I can save everything, right? I don’t have the ‘hero’ trait you mentioned, nor do I have the curiosity trait or the awe trait… Above all, you may not be sure that this is the right path. “Because you said you would say it back and forth.”

“… “

“It means the possibility is small.”

Choi Ji-won recites exactly the problem I thought about. The expression is extremely gloomy.

Choi Ji-won’s strengths include swordsmanship, combat sense, physical ability, and sensing ability. I share the shortcoming of showing a weakness for mass murder. The compatibility with the 4th floor is not good.

“So, back to square one… “Why did you tell me this story?”

“… “

The reason she revealed to her that I was her returnee.

The reason why I wanted to meet her again and share her story.

“I wanted to know.”

“… “What?”

“I wanted to know what I thought of you.”

I wanted to talk to her and see how she would react.

Because she spent a lot of time on the 4th floor, we met Choi Ji-won again after a long time. What emotions will I feel from her when I see her. How will she react? I wanted to know that.

When I told her about my past, I was talking to her, but I was also talking to myself. I looked back on the past and stroked the path I had taken.

And the feelings I felt while talking… I was sad.

I was sad that I couldn’t completely finish the 2nd and 3rd floors.

This situation of having to choose between the people on the 4th floor and Choi Ji-won was sad.

I was sad that the Choi Ji-won in front of me was completely different from the Choi Ji-won I remembered.

It was sad that she, looking at her lofty ideals, discussed her impossibility.

It was sad to see her break down in the face of her person’s death.

Of course, that doesn’t mean she isn’t precious. She has no memory of it, and she and I are relatively strangers, but… She is still a fellow climber of the tower. He is a talented person who will lead the world.

But… We are not friends anymore.

She calls her day her Junho, and I also call her her Jiwon. Business partner. Just that kind of distance. She just reaffirmed it.

“I’m sorry.”

“… “

“For being rude… sorry.”

Choi Ji-won in the vacant lot and Choi Ji-won in front of you are different people. We are not close anymore.

Is there anything more unpleasant than seeing other people projected onto yourself? I made a big mistake.

I got up from my seat, bowed my head and apologized, and then started to leave the cafe. After training Mana enough, I have to return.

“Whew.”

With this, I roughly organized my thoughts. If there is a return, Choi Ji-won will give up.

In fact, wasn’t completely conquering the 4th floor a remarkable achievement? This is not a compromise. What kind of compromise is this when it is impossible in the first place?

Don’t get hung up on the impossible, but look ahead and move forward.

I completely gave up my feelings for Choi Ji-won.

“Wait a minute.”

Yes, that almost happened.

“… ?”

“Please sit down.”

Choi Ji-won grabs my wrist with wide eyes. The grip is so strong that it might return if you hold it a little harder.

“Why, why are you doing that?”

“In the end, you’re sad because ‘Tutorial’s Choi Ji-won’ and ‘current Choi Ji-won’ are so different, right?”

“… To put it in an extreme way, yes.”

“How are the two different?”

“… “

There were many words that came to mind, but none of them jumped out like the crowd of people crowded into the narrow entrance.

The difference between Choi Ji-won now and Choi Ji-won back then. Actually, if you think about it, there are so many that they are truly uncountable. The most basic level of intimacy is also different. But to sum it up in one sentence, Choi Ji-won of the tutorial was a shining hero.

A person I can look up to, follow, and respect. That was Choi Ji-won.

But now, that perception has faded a lot. Because I have become stronger, and because Choi Ji-won is suffering after experiencing a crushing failure.

Because of the gap between the Choi Ji-won of the past and the Choi Ji-won of reality, the feeling of discomfort became even worse. Maybe it’s because Choi Ji-won of the past has become so big in my heart.

“So… “

Just as I was trying to explain this well in language. Choi Ji-won and I make eye contact.

“Tell me again clearly.”

Is it just curiosity? Or maybe my pride was hurt. Maybe both.

The moment I looked into Choi Ji-won’s eyes, where complex emotions were swirling, I had no choice but to stop speaking.

“What kind of person is Choi Ji-won that you remember?”

Because light began to slowly twinkle in her pupils.