355 – Regression (3)

Wandering is a story of not knowing the way. When people do not know what to do, where to go, or what to move for, they wander.

“Phew.”

In other words, if one knows what to do and how to do it, one does not wander. Therefore, I do not wander. I just go straight ahead.

What you need to do is simple.

“I am a regressor.”

First, I become famous. I go around to YouTube channels, public broadcasting stations, and talk shows to show off my presence.

Purpose? To become stronger. To become stronger, just like the image in my memories.

“Kim Jun-ho? You know.”

“They say he’s the famous regressor these days.”

“Did you see the video of the island being blown up? Is that possible?”

“It’s just a walking nuclear bomb.”

Gaining recognition. Building trust. Building fans. Making them believe that I will protect everyone.

-Hero traits activate!

Activating the hero trait. Pushing myself to the limit and beyond.

“Hey, Junho! Nosebleed! Nosebleed!”

“Oh, no.”

My head starts to hurt, the world starts to spin, I force myself to swallow the bloody vomit. I grit my teeth. Then I can’t stand it anymore and I go back. I start over again from the beginning.

“…I’ll focus this time.”

In the meantime, close your eyes and focus on the sensations you feel. This is all I had to do. It’s so simple, and all you have to do is hold on for a little while. It’s so easy that even an elementary school student can do it. If you say you’ll endure this and let me regress, people will line up. Hold on. Others don’t even have this opportunity.

Even though I was used to the hero traits, this was something I really had to push myself to the limit. I couldn’t sleep because I felt like my body would explode if I lost my mind, so I ended up having to spend the night meditating.

And meditation. Meditation itself was a great help. Observing my current state, analyzing the cause of this pain and dizziness, and coming up with a way to overcome it. Every moment was a crisis, an opportunity, and a growth.

I became stronger. Not just stronger now, at this moment. I became more and more skilled at handling my power, and I began to see things I couldn’t see when I was weak. The things I thought were important were actually not very important in battle, and the things I thought were trivial were actually closer to the core.

As my weight class increases, my eyes naturally open, and as my eyes open, I naturally see the path. My steps, which had been blindly following the Kim Jun-ho of that world, gradually gained confidence and speed. If I keep going like this, I can get stronger.

Growth. Truly explosive growth. Rapid growth. A complete transformation. A complete transformation. I became stronger so quickly that you could use any word you wanted. Jiwon couldn’t believe it even though he was watching the growth right next to him.

“…”

But unlike the body that becomes stronger, unlike the depth of the sword that becomes mature.

As time went by, my heart became more and more anxious.

No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t figure it out at all. It didn’t seem like this method would be able to turn back time.

He hasn’t yet reached the point where he can make people cheer just by waving his hand. He’s become famous enough and has earned enough trust, but there’s still room for improvement. His hero traits still have potential.

However, apart from my body becoming stronger, it was difficult to see any increase in my understanding of the soul. I felt no clues to determine my return, or any links to the center of the world. If I had even a small realization, I would try harder, and I would be able to move forward. Since I really felt nothing, I felt my will to move forward was broken.

I regretted talking about wandering as if I knew everything about it. I was wandering now. I was doubting whether I was on the right path.

“Trust your instincts.”

The one who held me together at this time was Choi Ji-won once again.

“Think about it from my perspective. There’s nothing I can do. I just have to watch. I’m anxious. I’m shaking. But I can handle it. Do you know why? Because I believe you can handle it.”

Choi Ji-won, who is aware that she is saying something awkward, sneakily avoids eye contact.

“I think you’re right. If this doesn’t seem right, then try another plan like you mentioned. If that doesn’t seem right, then just find another way. We have plenty of time, right?”

When Choi Ji-won, who was discussing the shelf life of my mind, said that I had plenty of time, it was clearly to comfort me. However, even if it was a somewhat false warmth, there was definitely sincerity in it.

“…Thank you, you know?”

Right now, that warmth is what I need most.

Taking Choi Ji-won’s advice, I immediately started on Plan B. At the right time of regression, I immediately tried to regress again.

[I suffered damage.]

[Return to the moment you first entered the 29th floor.]

First, bite your tongue and return to the 29th floor.

“… Hmph!”

As soon as he came to his senses, he unleashed a destructive burst of magical power, inflicting internal injuries. His actions were swift and without hesitation.

[I suffered damage.]

[Return to the moment you first entered the 29th floor.]

But what greets me is still the 29th floor. It was only after I personally executed this plan that I discovered the loophole.

“…delay.”

My regression is not an immediate regression. There is a grace period of about 0.5 to 1 second, and the regression is executed after my consciousness gradually fades. If I had returned immediately after taking damage, it would have been possible, but as long as this grace period exists, it is impossible to ‘match the moment of taking damage with the time of entering the 29th floor.’

No, it’s too early to give up. Let’s try a little more. Let’s find a clue. Let’s find out the possibility.

I made up my mind and tried various regressions, like banging my head, and sometimes I even threw up on the floor due to excessive regression. I thought I was used to the dizziness of regression, but it seems like I still have a long way to go.

But as I continued to do it, I was able to figure out the rule. The more I became conscious and the clearer my mind became, the longer it took to return. It seemed like the desire to ‘see more’ slowed down the return speed.

So I did exactly the opposite. I closed my eyes with the intention of emptying my mind, letting go of my attachment to reality, and just returning. And then I unleashed my magic.

As we acted like that, the time it took to return gradually shortened. 0.5 seconds, 0.3 seconds, 0.1 seconds, and even less.

It seems possible. So I try. I try, I try, I try again. In my perception of time, it really felt like I was regressing and taking damage, but objectively, there was a gap, even if it was just for a little while. There was room for improvement.

I studied. A faster way to burst my magic. A simpler way to harm myself. It is certain that I must use magic. Biting my tongue or cutting my hand takes time to ‘act’. It is certain that I must use magic that responds to my will.

Why didn’t the magic burst right away? I hesitated. I instinctively avoided harming myself. After much effort, I overcame my instincts. The time it took me to harm myself became shorter and shorter, and now I could regress more than 50 times in less than a second. The frequency of vomiting has also increased.

It’s getting better. It’s definitely progressing.

“…”

At the same time, I was annoyed. Isn’t this enough? Why? I thought I finally found the right answer and that I tried hard enough.

Is there more to it? Is there a lot more I need to do? Or is there another way?

What is the difference between me and that Kim Jun-ho? What is the difference that he can do it and I can’t?

“…”

Well, the difference is clear. There is a lack of desperation. Deprivation. Madness. Such negative motivations.

There was no turning back for Kim Jun-ho. He had a sense of urgency that he couldn’t survive unless he failed. I’m just as desperate, but the degree of urgency is different. The intensity is different.

“… So what.”

What if the concentration is different? It all comes down to quantity. You just have to work harder and longer. You just have to unleash your magic faster and regain your senses more skillfully.

Self-harm, and regress. Self-harm, and regress.

[I suffered damage.]

[Return to the moment you first entered the 29th floor.]

[I suffered damage.]

[Return to the moment you first entered the 29th floor.]

[I suffered damage.]

[Return to the moment you first entered the 29th floor.]

[I suffered damage.]

[Return to the moment you first entered the 29th floor.]

The message window always appears in the same location and disappears after about 2 seconds. To my eyes, who are repeating the return, it always looks like the same message window is floating. 29th floor, 29th floor, 29th floor, 29th floor.

It’s hard. It’s painful. I miss Jiwon. I want to eat something delicious. I want to play a game. I held it in.

Going back. Going back. Going back. There have been countless times now when I doubted if this was the right path. But what was different was that now I felt like I was going to catch something. If I just got the timing just a little better, if I was just a little sharper, if I was just a little more…

“uh?”

And then at some point. Why, isn’t there a moment like that?

When you throw a basketball, the moment when the ball scrapes your fingertips. When you kick a soccer ball, the moment when the sound is particularly cheerful. When you throw a half-filled plastic bottle, the moment when it feels like it will land on the floor.

For me, that moment was now. It felt like the gears were meshing together. It was the fastest I’d ever come to my senses, the fastest I’d ever unleashed my magic, and the fastest I’d ever lost my senses. The three processes meshed together perfectly, creating a strange golden harmony.

This is it. It has to be this. Just as I was thinking that, I noticed a small sense of discomfort. The only evidence I could see because I had my eyes closed the whole time.

[I suffered damage.]

[Return to the moment you first entered the 28th floor.]

When I came to my senses.

“What, are you a newbie?

“Hey, you newbie, don’t just lie there and act cocky. Get up and say hello.”

It was the 28th floor.