Chapter 150 – Chapter 9 – Determination

-Bang!

Close the door, lean your hand against the wall, and cover your mouth with the other hand.

“Woo-wook…”

Disgusting

I am disgusted with myself.

What do you mean you liked it so much?

Is it such a joy to be married to a child who has been greatly injured by one’s own mistakes?

“Huh.. Ugh..”

I barely endured the rising nausea.

But his rising guilt and self-loathing were unbearable.

A feeling of guilt rises up from my legs and loathes, and disgust that I have been such a dirty person dominates my head.

– Far away

Marriage. Okay. It’s okay until marriage.

There is nothing wrong with thinking that I am atone for the mistakes I have committed by serving by my side for the rest of my life.

But liking it yourself is another matter.

If you rejoice in atonement, is that atonement?

Living in guilt for the rest of your life, but enjoying it when it’s not enough

If it was someone else, but if the target was himself, it was absolutely unforgivable.

“Haha..”

– Tight

Did you mean that you forgot about him while you were away from him for a while?

Did he misunderstand that the desires he had resolved behind the shield of dreams could be realized in reality anyway?

‘I thought I’d managed to organize my mind a bit…’

I didn’t even know the subject of the night’s fire, and I thought I’d managed to clear my mind by using medicine to suppress my burning body and solve it on my own, but it didn’t seem like that either.

It’s like grabbing the opportunity as soon as it comes, as if you’ve been waiting for it.

At this point, what does it mean to be a person who makes atonement?

‘..Did I really feel sorry for him?’

Now I’m even thinking about this.

How many years have you been searching for the child who ruined your life because of So-yeon?

If I was really sorry, I should have revealed that I was So-yeon’s teacher as soon as I found him, asked for forgiveness, and made amends to him.

But how is the situation now?

Didn’t he enjoy the trip by denying the reality and deceiving him by pretending to be an ordinary young master, saying that he would not be the child I was looking for?

Then, once again, I made him fall into the clutches of the Blood Bridge.

As a result, there was even an abnormality in the memory.

To the point that he can’t remember about So-yeon who ruined his life.

‘The fact that he lived in the mountains…’

If it wasn’t for Soyeon. None of that would have happened if it wasn’t for me.

It’s fortunate that I was picked up by a good teacher. If I hadn’t met that teacher,

..Jungwon was not a friendly land enough for a child with a damaged power supply to survive alone.

I would have met such a terrible end

I’m afraid of being hated by him. Because he fears being scorned by him.

I didn’t tell the truth to him who couldn’t remember So-yeon and ended up evasive.

Hiding the fact that I left an indelible sin on him in the past.

‘..It’s a marriage on that subject.’

The name Geomhu was a waste.

What is the best master of the political faction? What does Jeongpa mean?

What is positive and what is evil?

Was the teaching of Hwasan that he devoted his whole life to just like this?

It’s like cheating and liking people for personal desire.

Isn’t it no different from the wicked people who have been subjugated so far?

‘…Was I qualified to judge them?’

– Rattle

The simma that I managed to drive out starts to come back.

Faith collapses, justice collapses.

The pillars that supported life, the country, and people, collapsed.

It pierces my heart to know that my life for decades has been a mass of contradictions.

For a martial artist, Simma is more careful than the sword, but I can’t come up with a way to defeat Shimma.

[The wicked must be punished.]

-Sereung

The sword is drawn from the scabbard and placed in the hand.

In fact, I feel the sense of the sword, which is no different from my body.

-Shaking

“Ah..”

The hand holding the sword trembled as if the body was trying to resist, but the sword was still firmly held in the hand.

I will ask you one last time.

By mismanaging the disciple, he inflicted lifelong wounds on an innocent child.

She could not reap the child in time and left it unattended for more than ten years.

After meeting the child, he fell in love without knowing the subject, denied the reality, took the opportunity to establish a relationship, and accepted her without guilt when asked to marry her.

Those who have lived their whole life claiming to be righteous

Are you evil?

“…”

Didn’t answer.

Just moving the sword in his hand a little more was enough for an answer.

Because there is no way a human being with such justice could be a good man.

– Tight

A kaleidoscope flashes through my mind.

As a result, the sword in my hand slowly moves along.

Then the sword stabbed me in the chest.

– Jump!

“Swordmaster! Are you inside?”

-Fantastic!

“Yes?”

Hearing the familiar voice, he quickly put the sword back into the scabbard.

At the door stood a man who had a complicated meaning to me.

She covered her face with a bloody face, so she couldn’t see it, but she knew what it was inside, so the expression was pictured in her mind.

“…What were you doing?”

“Now, I was swinging my sword because I thought I had a clue.”

“Aha.”

It was a quick and appropriate excuse that surprised even myself.

“Well, do you have something to do? I’m sorry that the conversation was interrupted because I suddenly left.”

“Oh, it’s nothing special… Now we were going to tell you that we’re going, but I thought it would be better if we talked about it after seeing each other’s faces.”

“Ah..”

My excited heart sank again.

..What did you expect?

I was certain I was disappointed, but I didn’t know what I was expecting.

“Ah, I see. As for the story I was talking about earlier, I’ll go there myself or send someone to tell you the news, so go back first.”

I said goodbye to him, hiding the feelings of regret in my heart.

I thought he would go out with this, but

“Oh, and I have something else to tell you…”

He said as he approached me.

“What, what?”

“I thanked you the other day, but I don’t think I did it properly back then.”

He came to me and took my hand with both hands.

“Thank you so much for saving me again.”

I just said thank you.

“…”

I was stuck on the words and couldn’t answer anything.

But did he take it in a different way?

“Oh, come to think of it, it’s not polite to cover your face even at this time.”

-Sreuk

He lowered his hat to reveal his face.

“Thanks to you, I lived. Thank you very much.”

– Wide open

He smiled like the word pure itself.

And at that moment

-Thud!

I felt something fall in my chest.

* * *

“..Hey Swordsman?”

“Hot?!”

“Are you okay..?”

I asked if he was alright as I watched Swordsman, who had been frozen as if he was under a spell, come to his senses.

It’s like the fact that I left in a hurry earlier

It seemed that he was really not feeling well.

“Shall I get you some medicine? Looking at it earlier, Yeo So-cheon seems to have moderate medical knowledge, and Dang Ah-young also seems to be full of miscellaneous things…”

“Oh, no. It’s not that kind of disease, so you don’t have to worry.

“Are you worried?”

I tilted my head.

I was a little surprised.

I never thought that the swordsman, who always looked confident and cool, would say that he had concerns.

He was a person who seemed like he would do anything cool, so I didn’t think there would be such a thing, but it seems that Swordsman was also a human being.

“Then can you tell me? I’m an expert on that again.”

“That, to you?”

“Yes. In fact, about 30% of the customers who come to run a fortune teller come for consultations. There are people who really expect to see the future, but basically, they are curious about the future enough to invest in fortune-telling. I do it when I have a fearful future or when I don’t like the present. Thanks to that, I’m confident in counseling about my worries?”

“Is that so…”

Lately, I’ve been having sex all the time, so my main job was a fortune teller.

Fortune-tellers don’t just tell fortunes, but if there’s an ominous future, you have to tell them what to do to avoid that future, and don’t settle for a good future.

Thanks to you, I learned that there are all kinds of human groups in the world, but…

“Now, I’m fine, so tell me what you feel comfortable with. I’ll give you a fortune teller if necessary.”

Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to write something like this?

“That, that’s… So…”

“Is it because I’m not trustworthy?”

“Oh, no! There’s no way I’m not trusting you! It’s just…”

“But?”

“…Ugh.”

Geomhu-sama blushed and closed his mouth for a moment, then opened it again a moment later.

“…About two people I heard recently.”

-Nod

I nodded my head to indicate that I should continue.

“Gap left Eul an indelible scar… Thanks to Eul, it wasn’t enough that her life was threatened, so she was put in a position where she had to live with the scars for the rest of her life.”

“Oops. How come.”

“…But a lot of time has passed since then, and Eul somehow adapted and lived in the world. In the meantime, something happened that made him reunite with A, who had hurt him.”

“So did you fight?”

“..No. Maybe it was because time passed so long, we didn’t recognize each other and we built a normal good relationship. And as time passed, Gab realized that Eul was the one who had hurt him a lot in the past… I liked the relationship with Eul, so I didn’t reveal to Eul that I was the A.”

“Things are going fun.”

“…It’s an interesting situation. And as more time passes… An incident causes A to confess to Eul that he was the one who hurt him. He lost his memory and still thinks of A as a good person. A doesn’t want to break the relationship, so he’s hiding the details.”

“Hmm..”

‘Did you read a novel?’

First of all, it doesn’t seem like a real story, but since the swordsman said it, it must be real.

“In this situation.. Is A’s behavior of hiding the truth just because he wants to maintain a relationship with Eul.. Is it right?”

“Are you worried about that?”

“…That’s right.”

“…Hmm. Each person has a different point of view, but first I’d like to say my opinion.. Is there anything wrong with that?”

“…”

I continued talking while looking into the eyes of the swordsman who was looking at me with quiet eyes.

“Even though he was injured, seeing that he survived for a long time, he seemed to be somehow overcoming or adapting and living.

“…Is it?”

“Yes. Actually, isn’t it? If he was a truly unforgivable enemy, no matter how much time passes, he will never be forgotten.”

“…”

“Gap didn’t hide it to the end, he revealed it anyway, but if he couldn’t remember it, that’s it. There is no one in the world who wants to be hated by stimulating and bringing out forgotten memories. You just have to pay it off step by step.”

“…Really… Do you think so…?”

There was a slight tremor in the swordsman’s voice.

“Yes. Well… Honestly, even if I’m Eul, I don’t think it’s a particularly pleasant feeling to know that the person you’re already getting along with is actually your enemy. There is a saying that not knowing is medicine, right?”

“…”

‘..Come to think of it, is this proverb in midfield?’

I sometimes have this problem because I write proverbs without much thought.

I’m not sure if this proverb exists in the midfield or not.

“Oh, what does that mean…”

“…No. That’s it.”

-Sreuk

After hearing my answer, Sword Master, who was looking at the ground, raised his body and approached me.

…For some reason, the atmosphere was frightening.

“…Swordsman?”

“I’m sorry, but can I ask you a favor?”

“What, what are you asking for?”

-Chin

Before I knew it, the Sword Master was approaching me, and there was a wall blocking my back.

-Gulp

A somewhat familiar situation.

For some reason, I felt like I was anticipating what would happen next.

Swordsman, who was looking down at me, bent down to meet me at eye level.

I instinctively closed my eyes and prepared for the feeling of floating I would soon feel.

“Can you… Commit me?”

…

Yes?