Chapter 106 – Story of A Coward

―*Sabak*

Deep within a forest where the signs of humankind are scarce.

Where birds and insects sing and animals occasionally frolic.

“….”

Yuricia stared blankly at the scenery for a moment, then took a deep breath.

Until now, she had never once sought out this place. Or rather, she couldn’t.

It was the place where her mother had fallen. The very space where she’d willingly given her life for her daughter.

At the same time, it was a location that reminded Yurisia of her own cowardice and fear.

She longed to come, yet her guilt made it impossible.

Sometimes, she steeled herself and managed to reach the outskirts.

Though she wanted to forget, the memories were too vivid, like they had happened just yesterday.

If she only moved a little further, just a little, she could reach the place where her mother had fought.

But she couldn’t. She didn’t know. Was she truly allowed to go?

And she was afraid. Now that there was no one to protect her, what if the monsters came again?

Even if she told herself she was different now, that she possessed an ability and could fight them.

That thought alone turned her legs to stone. She felt like she was back then, a child.

So Yurisia would sweat with fear, then turn and flee.

She was still a coward. A craven runaway. She couldn’t escape it.

No matter how she struggled, it was like a curse binding her soul.

It made her more and more passive, always glancing around fearfully, watching for danger.

If she hadn’t met him. If he hadn’t changed her.

Today too, she would have come this far only to turn back, as she always did.

— *Swish, swish.*

Yurisia’s footsteps were etched into the forest floor. Unlike the memory of herself, she didn’t run.

Slowly. Calmly. Reliving each of her memories. But without fear.

If you asked if she wasn’t scared, of course, she was. She was still afraid.

Of those horrible monsters. Those creatures with their glowing red eyes, hunting for human flesh.

And that her mother, who had willingly sacrificed herself for her daughter in the face of such beings, would look at her with resentment if they ever met again. That was what terrified her the most.

‘But, not anymore.’

If she was scared, she would overcome it. If she was afraid, she would acknowledge and accept it.

No one in the world can be without fear, she told herself. Nothing existed that didn’t inspire some kind of dread.

Courage wasn’t the absence of it. It was overcoming it, rising above it.

Her mother had done so, countless people around her had done so, and now Yurisia herself had to do the same. She was now a fully-fledged ability user.

“…I’m here.”

A place that remained vivid even in her dreams. Right here. This was the end.

A place forever marked by the image of a brave woman, sending her daughter away, willingly surrounded by monsters to act as bait.

“I’m too late, aren’t I? I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It shouldn’t have been like this.”

What difference would it make, if a coward like her came now?

Deus, hearing her words, tapped Yurisia’s forehead.

And said this: go now. Go, and erase every last bit of your fear.

Just like your mother did. In the very place where your mother rests.

Now bury your fear and regret there, and become the daughter she dreamed you would be.

“I wonder what Mom was thinking back then. Did she think it was lucky that her daughter escaped? Or was she utterly terrified and resentful, as the only one left behind?”

There was no answer. And there never would be, not in this life.

Because you are no longer of this world. Because she could never see her again.

— *Rustle*

Yurisia slowly sank to the ground, her hand gently stroking the earth thick with grass.

Now, it was a place of quietude, of peace. Above all, it pulsed with the vigour of life. But in that time, it was overflowing with death, a veritable hell.

Many had fought to erase that history.

More now struggle to protect this changed place.

“I will never truly know it. I can only say I’m sorry, every day.”

Tears threatened, but Yurisia barely held them back.

Not yet. She couldn’t cry yet. She was still too lacking to shed tears now.

“Still. I won’t tremble with fear anymore. Running away, abandoning someone, that’s over. I’ll overcome this. Whatever it is. No matter how vast, how terrible the fear.”

Someone had shown her the direction she needed to go. She was following in their footsteps with all her might.

Though she was still lacking. She wouldn’t dare aspire to be their equal. But, by working hard, by persevering, perhaps one day she could bravely face the past too.

Yurisia continued to stroke the ground where someone had fallen for a long time after that.

To bury it in her heart forever. And to gain the strength to move forward, once more.

“…I’ll go now. Someone’s waiting for me.”

There was still no answer. But Yurisia continued, as if someone were listening.

“There are people who support this coward. And I, I won’t betray their expectations. Not for my mother, who did so much for me. Somehow, I’ll be brave.”

Rising to her feet, Yurisia took in everything around her, storing it in her eyes, in her memory.

Before, just doing that would have brought back the nightmare of the past, made it impossible.

But not anymore. She would shake off the fear and move forward.

“I love you.”

A breeze swept through from somewhere. It gently enveloped Yurisia.

That gentle wind lingered for a moment, then disappeared far, far away on the breath of another wind.

*

“…Are you alright, Junior?”

Neferti, who had been waiting for Yurisia with growing anxiety as she ventured into the forest alone,

rushed to her side the moment Yurisia returned, scanning her face.

Neferti herself knew what it was like to lose family.

How immense the pain. How profound the survivor’s guilt.

If it hadn’t been for her other family members, she never would have endured it.

But Yurisia didn’t have that other family. Only her mother.

And she lost that person to monsters. Even the process of that loss was so terrible.

A mother who sacrificed herself to save her daughter. A daughter who saw it all.

When Yurisia told her the story a little while ago. Even though she wasn’t the one who experienced it her mind went blank.

If that was how she felt then how broken must Yurisia be.

“Yes. I’m alright. It would be a lie to say it doesn’t hurt, but I can overcome it.”

Yes. She had to overcome it. Only then could she face her mother later.

There were people waiting for her. So she wouldn’t fall down again.

“If that’s the case, it’s a relief but…”

Neferti turned her head to the side for a moment.

Then Luciel approached from the opposite side and stroked Yurisia’s hair.

“We’ll make sure of it, Junior. That no one’s sacrifice is in vain. That no one’s courage is foolish.”

And so our efforts, our struggles to forget fear, would not be meaningless.

*

“…By the way, Yurishia, my junior.”

On the path back to the Cradle, Neferti cleared her throat and began.

“How’s Deus been lately?”

“Pardon?”

“Has he been…acting strange, perhaps? Or, changed in some way?”

Bewildered by the odd question, Yurishia tilted her head, confusion clouding her face.

Deus acting strange? He’s been training and working out, as always. What else could there be?

“Truth be told, I asked him about his ideal type the other day, and his answer was…peculiar.”

“Ideal… type?”

“Yes. He said someone who isn’t afraid of him, and who would sometimes work out with him. Something along those lines.”

At those words, Yurishia frowned. Could she be the one he was describing?

Someone unafraid of Deus, someone who works out with him… It sounded exactly like her, didn’t it?

“It seems Yurishia, you are thinking the same thing. President.”

“Indeed. Sigh. But, how could his ideal type so precisely align with the three of us?”

Huh? Ah. Come to think of it, those two aren’t scared of Deus either.

Then what? Is Neferti *senpai* Deus’s ideal? Or is it Luciel *senpai*? Or perhaps… me?

“When I pressed him to be more specific, he started avoiding the question. I hadn’t paid much attention to it initially, but now, I suddenly feel compelled to know.”

“I, I see…”

“I plan to corner him and ask as soon as we return to the Cradle. Yurishia, would you like to join?”

Neferti, a woman of character who always unearths what she is curious about.

Luciel, pretends not to care but is intrigued enough to return to the Cradle even after graduating.

Caught between them, Yurishia’s answer was already decided.