Chapter 274 – Lin Xiangpei #02

On the day of her academy graduation, Xiang Fei was alone, leaning on the rooftop terrace of the Moon View Pavilion.

“It’s already been 5 years. Time flies.”

Perhaps because it was the last day at the academy, the dormitory and garden were noisy with the excited voices of students.

Such an excited atmosphere was unfamiliar to Xiang Fei. Because for herself the five years of her academy were not very worthwhile.

Her martial arts is already without the teachings of Taesan Dojang, and she is alone, breaking her peak state and crossing the transcendent peak, and she is on her way to surpassing the state of her Hwagyeong. According to the Academy’s standards, she is already on the verge of transcendence, which is said to be the next level of being a superhuman.

It is known that only the Emperor of the Empire has reached the state of Ascension, which is considered the next level of transcendence. Therefore, if Xiang Fei enters the state of transcendence alone, it is certain that she will go beyond being the strongest martial artist in name and reality and become a hero representing humanity.

Naturally, throughout her school years, there were numerous political maneuvers and pretentious proposals to win over Xiang Fei. If she hadn’t beaten the second prince who proposed her engagement in front of Shen to the point of paralysis, she would have suffered from political antics to this day.

‘Honestly, I regretted coming for no reason.’

At a glance, Xiang Fei’s eyes turned to the students gathered in the garden. To be precise, we headed towards Shen, who was at the center of the students.

“Congratulations on your graduation, Zhi Wei Shen! No, should I call you Lin Shen now?”

“When you and Xiang Fei return to the Republican Commonwealth, she will immediately prepare for her wedding? “At that time, I’ll be drinking heavily all night long, so be prepared!”

“Is she really going to go right back to the feds? “Can’t she stop by the elven forest with me…?”

Haha! Thank you everyone. For her wedding, I will prepare strong alcohol that even a dwarf can get drunk on. You must come!”

The academy’s only strengths were a curriculum that was of no help to her as an unofficial genius, and a social circle that was useless unless she was aiming to become the first female prime minister of the Republican Federation. Nevertheless, when the elders of her family recommended her to the Academy, she gladly accepted.

The reason was only for Shen. Unlike herself, Shen needed interaction with others.

Xiang Fei decided that Shen’s maniacal obsession with her was a mental illness stemming from her close relationships on the remote island, and that the Academy would be her greatest help.

And her judgment was very accurate.

Shen’s five years at the academy have literally rejuvenated her. The boy with empty eyes five years ago has now become a young man loved by everyone.

Although her process was not all smooth, Xiang Fei did her best to help her, believing that overcoming crisis and adversity would only make her relationship stronger. So that Shen can bear it.

As a result, despite her humble origins and qualities that bordered on incompetence compared to other geniuses, Shen was recognized by those around her for her dedication to others and efforts that surpassed her talents. The human relationships created in this way began to heal the disease in Shen’s heart.

What Shen, who was anxiously standing on a stepping stone called Champei, needed was a solid human relationship that would hold him firm even when he was able to stretch his legs.

‘I didn’t know it would be this effective, but… At first, she regretted bringing her in for no reason.’

When I was in my first year, I regretted bringing Shen because of the territoriality unique to the empire and kingdom’s nobles, and the checks from the Republican Federation, but as time passed, more and more people recognized Shen’s value.

Teachers recognized Shen’s persistence, the children who received help were touched by Shen’s kindness, and the good stories about Shen that spread made friends.

She learned a lot of other things too. How to have a casual conversation with a stranger, how to be away from someone you love for a while, and how to achieve a sense of accomplishment by setting and achieving achievable goals.

As time passed, Shen’s crazy obsession with Xiang Fei gradually diminished. She didn’t force herself to participate in the advanced level classes, as if she didn’t want to spend even an hour away from her.

Shen learned how to stand alone.

‘I’m proud, I feel like I’ve raised a child.’

Although the mysterious handsome boy who only looked at her as a child was gone, Xiang Fei was satisfied. Because it was better for her to be happy than for her loved one to be heartbroken.

… Of course, when Shen’s face turned red as if she was troubled by the appeals of the other bitches, she felt a surge of murder, but even that was helpful to Shen, so it can be left as a nostalgic memory.

‘No, it’s definitely not a good memory.’

Yes, it could have been left as one of the very minor happenings of her school days. And she was confident from the very beginning that she would.

She may leave Shen, but Shen can never leave her. Even if her crazy obsession gets better, that fact never changes. This was not a groundless blind belief. There is more solid evidence than anyone else…

“Sorry, I’m really late, right? Saying hello to her friends.”

“Hmph, I knew it was late. “Friends are more important than your fiancé, right?”

When Shen came up to her terrace belatedly and woke her up from her thoughts, Xiang Fei glared at Shen and puffed out her cheeks.

Even though Shen knew that Xiang Fei’s words were a joke, she hugged her and kissed her cheek.

“Haha! Stop! Do you think I’m going to get angry just because of this?!”

“Yeah, are you going to vent your anger now? Or should I show you my secret charm that I’ve been hiding so far?”

“The academy raised only one snake, not a student.”

Xiang Fei grumbled as she looked at Lin Shen, who was already taller than her. Shen now seems to have shed her youthful skin and prepared her to become an adult, and she can take her time even when she pretends to be angry.

“By the way, where did the pretty little boy who followed me around and didn’t let go of his sleeves whenever I attended a party go? “I liked it because it looked like a baby duck.”

“Shangpai, is that what you like?”

“What kind of woman would turn down a handsome boy like that? Why, now that I look at it, do I think my fiancé’s tastes are strange? It’s been over 10 years now, so you’re saying I’m sick of it? Are you going to go to the forest with the little princess!?”

“Seeing as she likes children, she will be a good mother. “I’m glad that my kids will grow up well.”

“Didn’t you really just learn speaking skills at the academy? “If we return to the Republican Union, she will have to go into politics, right?”

“No, my goal is to be a family pillar. That way you can focus more on martial arts.”

“I must admit, I grew a snake tongue. At this rate, will you be able to persuade the Demon King’s army to sign a truce?

Eventually, Xiangpei stopped pouting and burst into laughter. Shen was also satisfied with her bright smile and looked down at the terrace, leaning on the railing. She looked like she was contemplating memories.

“Isn’t it a pity? Shen, you got an offer to be a teacher, so it would have been okay for you to stay here.”

“I just said it. My goal is to help you focus on martial arts. “If you reach the level of transcendence, the elders of your family will fully acknowledge you.”

“But if I go back to my hometown, I will only be able to be a son-in-law…”

Xiangpei aims for the state of transcendence. Her purpose was not simply to see the end of nothingness. She thought that if she achieved the state of transcendence, she would be able to defeat the old men of her family who had prevented her from learning martial arts.

“Shangpai wants to lay the foundation for our children to do whatever they want to do, right? Then it’s not just about Champei. It’s ‘our child.’ “Me and Xiangpei’s children.”

“I’m not sure how long it will take. This is not something you can break through simply by practicing a lot. During that time, he will have to bear all the pressure…”

The Zwei family is a family belonging to the lower nobility within the Republican Federation. The engagement to the Lin family, which owns Taishan Dojang, which produced many famous people, including Shinjang, would not have been possible without Xiang Fei’s insistence.

Xiang Fei did not want to see her beloved Shen living in neglect at her home. She had several times suggested that she stay at the academy, where she could receive social recognition even if she stayed far away.

But her answer was always the same. She wanted to remain by Shen’s side, even though there wasn’t much he could do for her. Furthermore, she said it actually made Xiang Fei uneasy.

Perhaps her obsession with herself, which she had harbored since her childhood, has not been completely cured. She was always worried that Shen had learned to pretend that she was okay, that she was cured for herself.

“No. “I don’t want to see Xiang Fei sacrifice herself because of me.”

“… Is it obvious?”

She said, “She knew from the beginning that she had forced me into an academy that I didn’t even want to come to. “She is my fiancé, with whom I have been for over 10 years.”

Shen reached out her hand first and squeezed Xiang Fei’s hand. In her childhood, she was always alone, just like Xiang Fei did to her.

“Thank you, Xiangpei, for helping me live as myself. “You are the benefactor who saved my life and the most precious teacher.”

“I need to apologize to the teachers at the academy who worked tirelessly to teach you. Because I took your place. Some people are seriously looking forward to it.”

Hearing Shen’s words, Xiang Fei scratched his cheek in embarrassment. If the instructors at the dojo were raising students in this way, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to go back to their parents’ homes and raise a few students.

“Xiang Fei, you said you wanted to get married as soon as you got back. “Don’t you remember?”

“Dear bride, do you remember the wedding? I’ve already decided who to throw the bouquet to. “If I throw it at a dwarf with a dirty personality and a princess with a cute personality, they’ll fight with their teeth to catch it, right?”

Xiang Fei, who had been boasting about her plans to follow her to her wedding and fuck her bitches out of jealousy, slowly shut her up when Shen saw that her expression was serious.

She Shen always smiled sweetly at herself. So when she makes an expression like this, she knows that she wants to say something really important.

“Isn’t there something like that in the wedding vows? It means that the bride and groom should be a true couple without hiding anything from each other.”

“Isn’t that a funny pledge? Even the elder who made that vow must have at least one thing they are hiding from each other. “It’s a bunch of idiots who don’t know privacy…”

“I have something to confess to you.”

Moonlight illuminated the terrace. The sight of Shen looking at her under the full moon somehow resembled the boy she had seen when she was young. Perhaps that was why her anxious mind kept fluttering.

Normally she would have playfully teased Shen, asking if she had a hidden lover after all, but she couldn’t. Because she already knew what her Shen wanted to say. From the day we first met.

“… Is that something you’ve been hiding since childhood?”

“As expected, there’s nothing Xiangpei doesn’t know about me.”

Xiang Fei couldn’t help but smile as she saw Shen smiling softly. What Shen is about to do now is a kind of confession. And the only person in this world who can hear this confession is you.

Shen is sick. My heart aches. My heart ached ever since I first met you.

Shen, she was someone who longed for affection more than anyone else Xiang Fei had ever met.

As if she had never felt the emotion of affection in her life, Shen harbored loneliness and self-destruction. It’s like a child born in prison, unable to leave prison for the rest of his life, and looking at people passing by outside the bars.

But she doesn’t hold out her hand. For some reason, Shen doesn’t tell anyone who approaches him to get them out of this prison.

Shen is sick. Because it holds a secret. A secret that cannot be told to anyone.

So she kept her distance, as if she was afraid of the people approaching her. Just as it is painful to have someone come near you.

Most people who approached Shen first turned away because of that secret. Family, relatives, friends, teachers, unrequited women. When everyone who discovered Shen’s secret wanted to know the cause of the darkness, Shen urgently pushed that person away. And then we never returned to the same relationship as before and kept our distance.

She was the only one who never once questioned Shen about her secret.

“Shen, if you don’t want to talk, I don’t mind listening. I am a wise and good wife who can tolerate my husband’s minor secrets and infidelity. Even if you don’t force it…”

“I knew. She knew my secret from the beginning. But he also waited until I spoke first.”

No, actually, I was afraid. If Shen is forced to listen to the secret, or if Shen finds out that she knew what the secret is, she feels like Shen will disappear, just like she felt when they first met as children.

Xiang Fei did not want to know Shen’s secret. She did not interrogate or investigate Shen directly, although she sometimes made her own guesses.

“Xiang Fei, you deserve to hear it. No, I want you to listen. You can think of me as my last foolish idiot…”

Xiang Fei said she wanted to run away. The unknown secret that had been tormenting Shen for over ten years had become something scarier and scarier than the Demon King’s army in Xiang Fei’s mind. We can’t even imagine what a shocking secret she has kept hidden her whole life.

But she can’t run away. If she refuses to listen in this position, Shen will keep this secret to herself in the future. She may die lonely, choosing to be alone in that dark and painful prison.

The moment she imagined that image, Xiang Fei strangely felt that the fear that had plagued her just moments ago disappeared.

“──Okay, tell me, what is your secret?”

The girl opened the prison door. She held out her hand to help the boy who had been in prison his whole life come out.

The boy’s expression seemed like it was about to collapse as he felt warmth for the first time in his life. Nevertheless, the boy extended his hand towards the girl. The girl held the boy’s hand tightly, just like she did when they first met.

She probably won’t be able to let go of this hand for the rest of her life. Still, you won’t regret this decision.

Rather than ignoring the pain of someone you love, you will definitely be happier if you share it with them.

***

I confessed in front of all my lovers and friends that I was a regressor.

But, I have one more secret.

I am a regressor and a possessor at the same time.

I am Artin Ludwig, and at the same time, I am Yang Ha-min, wearing the body of a person named Artin Ludwig.

The only person in this world who knows this is Mephisto, who tasted the memories before my return through a deal.

I can’t help it. I didn’t want to tell this secret to anyone else. In particular, you can never tell Xiaomei and Zorba.

The person they both knew was Artin Ludwig.

A boy who was so timid that he couldn’t stand the bullying from Rexton, Shion, and his family and had to be looked after by them.

Nevertheless, the boy was ultimately unable to overcome the pain, so he committed suicide by hanging himself the day before the entrance ceremony.

If they find out that the boy they knew is already dead and that they were ultimately unable to save their childhood friend, their relationship with me will never be repaired.

I was afraid. So I decided to keep this secret to myself.

It’s okay. Yang Ha-min is also familiar with this level of solitude. No, it’s much better. Because Mephisto is by my side now. It will be bearable.

I kept deceiving my loved one and lying to my best friend a secret because I thought it was the karma that Yang Ha-min, a returner and possessor, had to bear. That’s how he killed Yang Ha-min and killed him again.

A name that will no longer be called forever, a name that no one should know.

“I missed you, Hamin.”

Why did that name come out of the mouth of the teacher in my arms?