Chapter 403 – Escort -3-

“I have a question… May I ask you?”

“Of course. If my experience and knowledge can help, I will give you the answer as best as I can.”

As soon as Roman gave permission, the prepared dishes began to arrive.

The chunk of meat that could be considered the main dish was not pushed in right away.

If it’s an expensive full course, it’s basic to start with an aperitif and then continue step by step from there.

Since Roman had opted out of the aperitif in advance, appetizers to whet his appetite were brought to the table, signaling the start of the course meal.

“···.”

I have a feeling that not only the meal, but also the main body of the conversation begins now.

Roman had no idea what question Atra, who seemed busy organizing her thoughts, would ask.

I waited quietly for the saint to finish cleaning up and open her mouth.

“Actually… I had a vague feeling when I saw the brothers and sisters together. I thought there might be an answer to my curiosity…”

“Even if it involves personal life, my answer is the same. I will answer to the best of my ability.”

“Go, thank you!”

“Let’s eat first. We have plenty of time.”

This was why she hesitated so much even after Atra asked for her permission.

“Phew…”

I wonder if he got into her head and corrected it.

To break away from her shrunken body, Atra straightened her back and chest and made her posture as upright as possible.

She said, her voice laced with politeness as she extended her hand for the hors d’oeuvres.

“Brother, I don’t know if you remember that day. I had a short chat with Sister Ricke at the academy before.”

“It’s the day you supported practical classes.”

Of course I remember.

She was the one who immediately sent Atra to Rike as if to push his back.

“You kindly forgave the church’s irreversible mistake. As a token of gratitude, I promised to attend the brothers and sisters’ ceremony if it were held.”

“I remember hearing that.”

Not only Rieke but everyone who heard the story at her mansion was happy.

Roman tried to convey the news, but closed his mouth and ended with a brief answer.

‘Let’s listen first.’

Roman still couldn’t figure out what Atra, who had begun to mention this topic, wanted to ask in conclusion.

She decided to take her position. She listened as best as she could.

“I am absolutely not saying that I was forced to accept your request for atonement or that I am dissatisfied… I think it is a great honor for you to visit me and give me the opportunity to stand in a precious position… “

“To do?”

Roman was still unsure of what concerns Atra was harboring, so he kept her mouth shut.

She nodded her head slightly, making proper eye contact, simply to show that she was listening.

“Recently, I cannot shake the feeling that it is not right for me to attend such an important event and recite congratulatory remarks and give blessings…”

“I don’t know why Atra thinks like that.”

Although I mentioned it recently, Atra had this concern today.

Maybe just now.

“At the Academy, I made a promise to Sister Rieke. Rather than congratulating her in advance, I would congratulate her with all my sincerity when that moment comes.”

“···.”

“I thought that of course I would have to prepare a congratulatory message and a blessing there. But now that I think about it, I don’t think I can give a sincere blessing in this situation.”

“Can you tell me why?”

The saint lightly bites her moist lower lip. In Roman’s eyes, a deep conflict was felt there.

“I think you know, brother. There is a difference between ending with a simple congratulation and giving a blessing. The church’s blessings are not just words that are good words.”

“I guess there are some necessary conditions.”

Atra nodded slightly and gave an answer.

“It’s empathy.”

“If you sympathize…?”

“Let me give you a straightforward example. The first thing I want to learn when I leave the capital and go on a pilgrimage is the hardships of life.”

Roman reflexively recalled the day he met Atra. And she asked.

“Why do you want to learn from hardship?”

“Because I believe that saying you understand things you have no experience with is a deception, and that you cannot feel compassion for emotions you have never experienced.”

Roman, who had been listening up to this point, became suspicious of her and asked the saint.

“But I understand that this is not the first time Atra has blessed a ceremony.”

“In fact, it is not my first time attending a ceremony that is made up of pure love, as it happens even among church members. However, I was always a guest there, and most of the occasions where I was asked to give blessings and congratulatory remarks were for arranged marriages of high-ranking nobles.”

“Are you saying that you sympathize with arranged marriage?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Hmm… I’m not even sure if it’s because I’m not a church member.”

Roman shows a puzzled expression that cannot be clearly distinguished.

Atra recalled certain days with a stern expression.

“As for the arranged marriage… I thought it was enough because I saw people who firmly believed that their future would be bright because of my position. I had a desire for someone who didn’t seem happy to be happy.”

“···.”

Since there was no picture of everyone being happy in her arranged marriage, which the saint came to give her blessing, she sympathized with her sorrow and accepted her inevitable reality.

In situations such as arranged marriages, there were many cases where one or both of the men and women had a ceremony that they did not want to do.

At that time, Atra felt that her presence gave strength to such characters. She desperately prayed that a bright future and happiness would come to her.

After hearing the explanation, Roman understood. Because she understood, she was even more of a mystery.

“Then the reason you found it difficult to bless our ceremony is because you can’t empathize?”

Somehow, I expected Atra to have a strong gloomy look on her face.

Contrary to Roman’s thoughts, Atra’s face turned red.

“Boo, it’s a shame, but I have no experience loving someone.”

“I don’t think that’s anything to be ashamed of.”

“I vaguely feel that the love given by the goddess is similar to motherly love. However, passionate affection between lovers is an area I know nothing about.”

With those words, a conclusion came to a conclusion in Roman’s head.

‘Now I understand.’

The bottom line is that, because he does not know the love between lovers, Atra feels that he cannot give the sincere congratulations and blessings he promised to Rike.

He is unable to understand the reciting of superficial congratulatory messages because he feels it is a deception.

Is it because she is a saint? For some reason, the excessive honesty reminded me of lovers waiting in a mansion.

“Atra.”

“Yes···.”

Roman, who clearly understood the overwhelming concerns, took off the glasses he was wearing for camouflage and left them on the table.

And then he raised the corners of his mouth.

“You are honest.”

“Yes?”

“In my personal opinion, I don’t think the definition of emotions is grand enough to ask someone for an answer.”

“···.”

“Nevertheless, I believe that the part you are asking me for an answer to is not the dictionary definition of love. Is it true that you want to hear my impressions based on experience?”

“Yes! Yes, that’s right…!”

What is love? Isn’t this a really strange story to answer even though the other person is asking with a very serious heart?

What Atra wants to hear is not about the principles of hormones or biochemical phenomena.

Roman scratched his head and thought for a moment.

Since she had promised to help, it was obvious that she had to give an answer.

“Rike is amazing at explaining things like this, but it’s a shame he’s not there.”

“Then should I ask my sister for an answer when I get back?”

“I am sure that if you talk to me, you will be of greater help than me. But since you asked me, I will also give you the answer I think. My opinion is…”

“Brother, what is your opinion?”

Are the ears on Atra’s headband really connected?

Roman answered while rubbing his eyes at the vision of the moving animal ears of a saintess whose eyes were shining with an interested expression.

“It’s just fun to be around, and if you can’t see it, you’ll find it.”

“···But I feel the same way when I think of Shuel and Majella. Is it a common part of general affection and affection?”

Perhaps the clarity of the explanation was lacking, but the art still felt sketchy.

“Rather than eating something delicious, I want to see my lover eat it and laugh. Now, when I drink alcohol alone, it doesn’t taste good, so I can’t even finish a glass.”

“So you’re saying that the sisters play a big part in your daily life.”

“To put it a little more dramatically, if my ex-lovers disappeared, I would commit suicide.”

“···!”

Sky blue eyes opened wide.

Roman smiled and picked up her glasses again at the sight of the next dish arriving.

The table was filled with more food than before.

At the steak that came with salad, Atra was staring at Roman without even paying her attention.

“Brother, I’m curious… Are you giving an example because you are sure that such a case will not happen?”

“I truly do.”

“···You’re unique.”

“I often hear things like that from lovers.”

Picking up his fork and knife, Roman lifted his head again as a thought crossed his mind.

“Atra. There is a more appropriate expression to explain it.”

“Yes?”

“I said I would commit suicide if my lover disappeared, but my lovers cannot allow me to commit suicide because I disappeared. I hope that I can somehow find happiness and live.”

Atra seemed really hard to understand what Roman said this time.

“Isn’t that… Strange?”

“It’s true that it’s strange, just as Atra-sama thinks. Even if it seems selfish, it’s true.”

“It’s difficult…”

“I believe that the day will come when you will understand it all at once. If a man appears who can awaken those feelings in you, Atra, I will help you as an extension of your request.”

Roman said that no matter what a man likes, he knows best. I made a joke to change the mood.

Atra’s lips were pouting and her cheeks were swollen due to the strange feeling that arose even after receiving the favor.

Looking at Roman, who is so willing to help, I wonder why I want to pick on him so much.

“···Brother.”

“Yes?”

“Can I tell you what I wanted to do, which I mentioned earlier?”