Chapter 57

“…It’S Because It’S You, That’S Why It’S Good.”

And then, he quickly darts out of the tent.
…Suddenly shocking my heart like that isn’t good for my health. Irian, that guy, surprisingly has a knack for making people’s hearts flutter. I wonder if I could get him to do pigtails later. That’s the epitome of a tsundere.

Forcing down the corners of my mouth that were twitching upwards, I came out of the tent to find that Diana and Karsilla were still transforming, or rather, they weren’t visible yet. I’m kind of looking forward to those two as well. Did Irian run away?

I sat down on a makeshift chair in the campsite and waited, and then the three of them walked over side by side. Leading the way with a triumphant air was a cute boy… but no, it’s not. No matter how I look at it, it’s a girl.

Karsilla, is this your attempt at cross-dressing? You’re just as cute as always, so why are you walking so confidently?

Karsilla’s ahoge, puffing out as if showing off, was sticking straight up in the air, as if representing her confidence. Wow, did she put wax on it? That hair is so free-spirited. Anyway, looking at her like this, I guess I should… praise her?

And behind her… hmm. As expected. A pretty face can be passed off as a pretty boy like me, but there’s no solution for long hair no matter how you style it. More than anything, Diana’s voluptuous chest is obviously that of a woman! Is that what you call cross-dressing? Are you going to say that chest is… muscle?

“How is it!”

I was so dumbfounded that I just stared blankly, and then Karsilla, who had approached with a confident stride, put her hand on her hip and boasted. …Cute. So, so cute. Just like always. Where exactly is the cross-dressing in this?

“…Cute.”
“Yeah!”
“Are you done with your cross-dressing?”
“Yeah!”
“…Okay.”

Hmm. I don’t know. Let’s just let it go since she’s cute.
Surely Diana isn’t being smug too, right? I peeked out slightly, avoiding Karsilla who was blocking my view and strutting, and saw Diana giving an embarrassed smile.

That’s a relief. She knows that it doesn’t look like cross-dressing at all.

“It doesn’t suit me, does it?”
“No, it does suit you… you’re just pretty. You don’t look like a man.”
“Yurian looks good though. He’s so pretty.”

I was suspicious that she might be seeing me as pretty because of her self-admiration, but it seems my eyes weren’t wrong. Irian did that too, and now Diana is looking at me with sparkling eyes, scanning me up and down and admiring me.
Karsilla, who was boasting, is also staring at me, does she like this look?

“Karsilla, how is it? Does Daddy look good?”
“Yeah! Pretty! Sparkly!”
“If our baby says it’s pretty, then it really is pretty. Shall we do Mommy now?”
“No.”

Ahem. It’s embarrassing since she rejected me so decisively.

“Yurian and Sir Ian look good… what about me and Karsilla?”

That’s right. It’s a problem because they’re too pretty. If only we could cover up that voluptuous chest, we might be able to get away with it. Hmm. Cover it up, huh. Cover… Ah!

“Ian! Your armor… you threw it away, right.”
“……Yeah. You threw it away.”
“That was an unavoidable situation. Forget about it.”

Armor with all sorts of divine magic imbued in it, buried deep in the temple’s basement. It was a luxury item that was hard to come by, what a waste.

I left the suddenly gloomy guy alone and looked back and forth between Diana and Karsilla, and this is… this isn’t cross-dressing at all. What should I do? To properly cross-dress, I think I need to go into the city and buy some things.

The problem is that we’re cross-dressing to avoid being discovered, but if we go into the city to properly cross-dress, we’ll be discovered right away. What a contradiction. There’s no choice, I have to step up here.

“Let’s do this. Since I’m the best at cross-dressing, I’ll go to the city and buy what we need. You guys wait here.”

It’s time for ‘Yurian (cross-dressed ver.)’, who is so good at it that it’s scary, to step up. I should go buy some padding too.

“By yourself? Maybe I should go with you…”
“Diana is too noticeable, so no.”
“Me!”
“Karsilla is too cute, so no.”

Irian would be fine, I think. She just undid her cross-dressing as a boy, so there’s no question of whether it suits her or not. I won’t let her off the hook this time. On the outside, she’ll be a perfect girl, I’ll tease Irian to my heart’s content while walking down the street.

I was staring intently at the guy who was strangely blushing and avoiding my gaze because of what happened earlier, when suddenly Diana popped her head out.

“Yurian.”
“Uh, why, why?”

I was startled. Her sparkling eyes were so close that I couldn’t help but pull my face back.

“……Why are you avoiding me? Just now, did you avoid me?”
“Avoid you? I was just surprised because you suddenly appeared in front of me.”
“You didn’t avoid me?”
“Why would I avoid you?”

I met Diana’s gaze as she stared at me. Somehow, Diana’s face was getting closer.
…Why, why is she getting so close? I was staring blankly at Diana’s face, which was so close that our noses were almost touching, and then her eyes, which were drawing a pretty curve, moved away and her smiling face filled my vision.

“I’ve thought of a good idea.”

…Whew, I’m sweating. It’s strange. Lately, Diana seems a little… just a little scary.

“Last time when Yurian and Sir Ian went to buy clothes, Karsilla and I were looking for an inn and we got help from some kind people. If we ask them, they’ll help us.”
“Kind people? No matter how kind they are, I don’t think they’d go this far.”
“No. They’re really kind people, so they’ll definitely help.”

That’s beyond kind, I think. Isn’t that just being a pushover?
She looks strangely confident. I don’t know what Diana is trusting in to be so confident, but I guess I have to listen since she’s saying it like that.

But how are we going to meet those kind people? We’ll have to go into the city after all, right?

“I left some of my divine power behind. If we go near the city, we can send a message through the divine power I buried.”
“……No, but why? Why would you do such a… such a thing?”

What have you been up to, Diana? Using divine magic meant for tracking criminals on ordinary people. And you call them kind people?

I was waiting for an explanation, but Diana just stared at me, smiled sweetly, and turned away. What, what was that? I was staring blankly at her back with a strange feeling, when someone started tapping my thigh.

“…Why?”
“Get a grip.”
“…I have a grip, Dad.”
“Get a better grip.”
“……Okay.”

Why is she doing this again? She’s tapping my thigh with a sulky expression, I don’t know what she’s so dissatisfied about. Is she going through puberty?

Anyway, since Diana is confident, we decided to go near the city. I don’t know why she buried divine power with someone she calls kind, but I guess Diana has something in mind.

Divine power and magic aren’t omnipotent. Of course, there’s a limit to their range. If it were possible to cover the entire city, we could have sensed each other’s divine power and met up quickly when the group got separated at the temple.

In the end, Diana’s plan has many flaws. If that kind person left the city, or even if they’re in the city, they won’t be within the range of the divine power unless they’re on the outskirts.

Even if they are within range, what if that person ignores it? Are we going to harass an ordinary person with divine power?

Whether it was luck or not, Diana sensed some of the divine power she had buried with the ‘kind person’ before we even got close to the city. This is a bit far from the city, isn’t it? Are they a merchant or a traveler?

I could feel Diana’s divine power moving, and then I felt a familiar divine power from a distance. So they were there. …Why are they in the mountains?

Diana, who had been controlling her divine power with her eyes closed, smiled faintly, then walked ahead and led the group. I thought we were going into the mountains, but after walking for a while, we stopped at a clearing where the view was a bit open, and she said this.

“I told them to come this way, so let’s wait here.”
“O-okay.”

What kind of crazy person is in these mountains? Are they really a kind person? Maybe they’re a woodcutter or a hunter or something? I can understand why men would be kind to Diana, but I can’t believe that rough men who go in and out of these deep mountains would be kind. Is it just my prejudice?

After waiting for a while, people really did come. …Dozens of them.

“Boss! There, there! That’s her! That’s the wicked one!”
“Oh, is that so? Well met, you wicked woman. How dare you harass our kids and even steal from them?”

……What is this?
They look like perfect bandits. Where is the kind person…? And why are they saying such nasty things to our kind and gentle Diana? Did they mistake us for someone else?

“Oh my. I’ve never done that. Aren’t you mistaken?”

That’s right. Diana wouldn’t do that.

“U-ugh! Look at that deceitful woman! Boss, we don’t need to listen anymore! Let’s catch that devilish woman right away and make her a slave!”
“Heh heh. She’s pretty, just like these guys said. You seem to have a bit of a talent, but you’re no match for us.”

They’re big. The face of the guy swinging a huge axe around with a sinister smile is the typical bandit look. He’s ugly.

“…Ugly.”
“Ahem. Karsilla. You should only think things like that.”
“……You bastards.”

Ahem. Our kid is just a bit honest.

“You bastards, you crawled into the mountains to avoid us, and now you’re finally tired of running away. It’s commendable that you showed up willingly, but you have to pay for making us suffer. Don’t you think so?”
“That’s right! Let’s make them slaves and work them to the bone!”
“Hehehe, Boss, give that kid to me! I’ll make that mouth that dared to say such things to the owners of this mountain scream!”

What is going on? I’m getting a headache.

“Yurian. Those people are trying to kidnap me.”
“Me too.”
“Oh, that won’t do.”
“You’ll protect us, right?”
“Of course, of course. Of course.”

……What is this? Why am I standing at the front?

“What are you! Are you also in cahoots with that woman… what is it. Are you a girl or a boy?”

Are their eyes like pinholes?

“I’m a boy.”
“……? A boy?”

I don’t like the way they’re looking me up and down. Should I just hit them?

“Tsk. What a shame.”

Why are they smacking their lips? That’s disgusting. I was already annoyed, so this is good. I’ll relieve my stress by beating these guys up.

Even though my physical abilities are lacking, I have a bad sense of direction, and I’m even cursed with the ‘Undying Archduke’ debuff, these small-time bandits are nothing. I’ve lived in this world for 16 years and even received some training as a paladin.

It’s just that I’m lacking compared to melee-type classes, but compared to ordinary people, I’m like a destruction tank. And if I add my own buffs? I can do a Lu Bu against these small fries.

I was preparing my buffs and approaching them, when I noticed the boss guy rolling his eyes around. What kind of cunning trick is he trying to pull?

“Tsk. What a shame, what a shame. To think you’re a boy. If you were a girl, it would have been perfect.”
“Boss. What’s a shame? What does it matter if they’re a boy or a girl?”
“……He said he’s a boy.”
“Come on. As long as it tastes good, it doesn’t matter!”
“……Ah!”

Ah, my ass, you bastards. You’re all dead.