Chapter 87

“No Way. Absolutely No Way.”

I simply nodded at the two who were showing such extreme rejection, as I had expected. I didn’t want to persuade them because I didn’t like the idea myself. Seriously, drinking pee to survive? Just thinking about it made my stomach churn.

“Haa. Then what do we do?”

A sigh escaped from the three of us, who were squatting side by side, almost simultaneously. It felt… like we were a trio of silly siblings. With that thought, I glanced at the two women sitting on either side of me, and they seemed to feel something similar, as they were also glancing at each other.

The situation was bleak, but the atmosphere itself wasn’t bad, so I decided to use this opportunity to decide on our course of action.

“Let’s choose. There are two… no, three options for us. First, we can wander around aimlessly, hoping to find a way out. It hasn’t even been a day since we entered the underground waterway, even though we’ve been through a crisis. And even though this place is complex, it’s not a maze. If we wander around, we might find a way out. The downside of this method is that we’d have to wander around without any guarantee, with a shortage of food and water. Especially water.”
“But I’m not drinking pee.”
“Me neither.”

Geez. It was a joke, but that’s too much. Could you not look at me like I’m some kind of filth?

“Then, second. We attack the nest.”
“Wait. What’s the point of attacking the nest? It’s not like we can get out or find water by doing that.”
“Oh. That was a good point, Irian.”

Looking at Irian pouting and Cha Hyewon giggling at her, it was hard to believe that these two had been growling at each other since their first meeting like a cat and dog.

Cha Hyewon, being a player, obviously knew from the start that Irian was a woman. Of course, Irian, who didn’t know that fact, was constantly asking Cha Hyewon how she had figured out her disguise, and Cha Hyewon, for her part, was teasing her by pretending to tell her but never actually revealing the secret.
Does this idiot really believe her disguise is perfect?

“You don’t even know that? You’re such an idiot, an idiot.”
“……Shut up. You don’t know either.”
“I do know? You’re the only one who doesn’t?”

Even I found her annoying. Irian, unable to hold back any longer, finally exploded and threw a surprise punch, but Cha Hyewon easily dodged it and stuck her tongue out. Irian’s fist flew again, and Cha Hyewon also threw a punch as if not to be outdone… Why did they have to do this with me in the middle?

Watching the four tightly clenched fists cross each other in front of my eyes, it was like watching some action manga or anime.
Thwack, a sound rang out, and stars flashed before my eyes.

“…Ah.”
“Gasp! Are you okay?”
“Yeah, why were you sitting there? You should have dodged.”

……Should I kill them?
I had a bad feeling ever since the two of them started exchanging punches in front of my eyes. At least Irian was better, as she was fidgeting and apologizing. Cha Hyewon, that brazen girl, was even blaming it on me.

“Just…! Haa. You two, can you just stay still?”
“Okay. Sorry.”
“I’ll see how you do.”

……I’m going to kill them.
My inner black dragon was roaring after a long time. My desire for revenge against Cha Hyewon was burning, but I put it aside for now. I had a good idea, after all. I rubbed my throbbing cheek and continued the conversation that had been interrupted.

“……If we attack the nest, there will be a way out nearby.”
“What? How do you know that?”

That’s just how it is. Isn’t it the norm in games that when you catch or clear a dungeon’s boss monster, a passage leading outside appears? Just like it was in the Forgotten Temple, the monster nest would probably be similar. Just like the ‘Tomb of the Ruler’ located in the depths has a passage that leads directly to the city after defeating the boss, my guess is that the monster nest will be the same.

Except for a very small number of dungeons, it’s a common thing, so it’s unlikely that this place is one of those ‘very small’ dungeons, right?

“Don’t ask why.”
“That’s right. It’s a reason you don’t know. But I know.”
“……Annoying.”
“Cha Hyewon, enough. Irian, don’t react to her every time.”
“Why are you picking on me? She’s the one who keeps picking fights.”

She pouted her lips as if she was wronged, so I hugged her lightly and patted her. …Hmm, she’s surprisingly docile today.

“Wow. You’re so annoying, seriously. Look at how fake that is. Hey, hey, do you know what she was like just now?”
“What did I do? Look at her. She’s doing it again.”
“Cha Hyewon.”
“Wow!! This is so unfair. I’m so frustrated. I’m really wronged. This girl is a fox pretending to be a bear, isn’t she?”

Looking at the two of them starting to bicker again, I wondered if they even had a sense of crisis. It was better than being in despair and gloom, but it wasn’t right to be joking around in a crisis situation. We should be gathering our strength to overcome the situation with a proper sense of tension, but they were as cheerful as if they were on a picnic with friends.

“Why are you two like this? Don’t you understand the situation? We’re trapped in an underground maze with a shortage of food and water. Even this torch won’t last more than a few hours. If we don’t have the spare one we have for emergencies, we’ll be wandering in the dark in a few hours. We’ll be hiding and seeking with monsters in the dark while suffering from hunger and thirst, and you want to bicker now?”
“But… you’re going to solve everything anyway, right? You always pretend to be weak, but you’re actually prepared, right? I know everything.”
“That’s right. Why worry when we have a game expert? You’re a walking strategy guide, aren’t you?”

Ah. So, everyone trusts me and has a screw loose?
……What is this? Why does my heart feel so touched? I feel strangely good.
I… was I trusted this much? Even though I pretend not to be, they were relying on me after all. Crap… Okay, this big brother will solve everything. You guys don’t have to worry.

But feeling good is one thing, what should I do? I don’t really have a solution right now. I really didn’t expect this situation. Who knew there would be a troll in our party? And that it would be someone who seemed normal on the outside.

“You’re making a big deal about food, water, and pee, but you were expecting all of this, right? The last method you haven’t mentioned yet is definitely the solution. Hah, I know everything, Yurian. You always call me an idiot, but I know all your thoughts.”

I couldn’t bring myself to speak at Irian’s confident appearance as she raised her nose and shrugged her shoulders.

I really don’t know.
A solution? Someone tell me. Where is it? And what’s with that strange trust? It’s like I’m some kind of schemer. I’m not a genius, so why would I expect every crisis and have a solution prepared?

What kind of image do I have in Irian’s mind? I can’t get a grasp on it.

“Is that so? Are you sure?”
“Trust me. It’s the result of observing him from a knight’s perspective for 16 years.”
“That guy, I knew he was shady, but he’s more dangerous than I thought. What kind of battles were you fighting, Irian?”
“……It must have been hard.”
“You must have suffered a lot.”

What is it again? They’re doing everything themselves. I don’t know if these two are close or not.

“So. What’s the solution, the last method? You’re going to tell us now, right?”
“……Um.”

I subtly avoided Cha Hyewon’s expectant gaze. My face was stinging.

“Yeah. Tell us already. I’ve figured out your intentions to use this crisis to do something lewd. Yurian, you frivolous guy.”
“……Umm.”

Why is my image like this? Do I look like a guy who uses crises to do lewd things? …As expected of a knight’s observation skills. I can’t ignore it.

“Yurian!”
“Hurry!”
“……Well, the last method is… to send an SOS to Diana…”

Irian and Cha Hyewon looked at each other and blinked.

“SOS? What’s that?”
“A rescue request. Isn’t Diana a saintess? An SOS to the saintess?”
“The saintess is in a city far away, what nonsense are you talking about? Are you going to talk properly?”
“…I’m serious.”
“……?”
“……?”

* * *

The whispers with Diana were a flood of chat messages. Long messages about how much she thought about me, how much she worried about me, and how much she loved me were pouring out in front of my eyes as semi-transparent letters. Diana… you’ve adapted to whispers so well. But can you send whispers a little slower? The semi-transparent letters are piled up in front of my eyes, making it hard to see.

“What did she say?”

I pondered how to explain this heavy love, and decided to summarize it in one line.

“She’s coming to save us.”

Cha Hyewon nodded and then nudged Irian, who was standing there blankly.

“She’s coming to save us, you know?”
“…I have ears too.”
“Really? I thought you couldn’t hear because you couldn’t ‘whis-per~’”
“…….”

Irian was trembling with clenched fists, and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. Irian was shocked to hear that I could use a telepathy-like thing called ‘whisper’ with Diana, as well as with Cha Hyewon.

Ah, by the way, they didn’t believe me when I said I didn’t have a solution either. …Why? Irian was sending me suspicious looks and muttering things like, ‘What kind of scheme is he planning?’ I was so wronged. I really don’t have a solution! Do you think I’m doing this to do something lewd?

“S-Saintess… telepathy!? Why only you!”
“Because… we love each other?”
“…….”

I grabbed her as she staggered from the shock, but she pushed me away roughly. But I and Cha Hyewon were the only ones who could comfort her here, and Cha Hyewon was busy teasing her that I could do it too, so what could I do? I hugged Irian again, who was trembling from the shock, and she snuggled into my arms this time, which was so cute.

“What is this? Are you two a couple? How annoying.”
“Are you jealous?”
“Ha! Seriously! Jealous? Me? Wow~ that’s ridiculous. Why would I be jealous? I’m super popular, you know? My popularity is insane, and I’m a pure-hearted girl who only looks at one man. I’m the number one beauty in elementary, middle, high school, university, and even at work. Do you know how many men confess to me every week? Do you know how hard it is to reject them every time? Now do you know how popular I am? Huh? Do you know? …Hey, are you listening to me?”

I left Cha Hyewon, who was lost in her self-admiration, and told Irian only the parts about whispers that I could tell her, and her eyes widened.

“W-What? If you do that, you can whisper? And… inside, that… that? …Are you kidding?”
“No. Have you ever seen me lie?”
“I’ve seen it a lot.”
“……Of course, I’ve made small lies sometimes, very rarely, but this is real.”
“Then… with the s-saintess… did you do it?”
“Huh…? Does it work like that? Yahaha, I’m embarrassed.”
“…….”

After that, Irian, who was sulking badly, wouldn’t even talk to me. No, what is she, my girlfriend? Is she jealous? …Ah. She’s jealous.

Hmm. Is she jealous because I’m in that kind of relationship with Diana, or is she jealous because Diana is in that kind of relationship with me? Is it both?

“Hey, Irian. Irian? Ms. Irian? Hello? Hey?”
“…….”
“Are you perhaps jealous because I hugged Diana first?”
“……Bullshit.”
“Then are you jealous because Diana hugged me first?”
“……‘First’? First? The saintess… me, me too, she said she’d do that~, too?”
“You’re such a pervert. What are you thinking? I just said hug. A hug. You pervert.”
“…….”