There’s No Way My Little Sister Is This Crazy

14th Episode

“……Bored, then.”

That day, John was bored.

The Owls’ vacation was basically on a rotational system, and this time it was John’s turn. Only, there was simply nothing to do.

Abandoned in the world as an orphan and taken in by the Empire’s government, he had lived his entire life as an Owl.

Be it combat or assassination, he was considered to be one of the best on the continent when it came to killing or harming others, but when it came to spending time idly, he was worse than the average person.

‘Rather than sit around like this, should I have forced Minister to let me be his bodyguard, like Christina does?’

Truthfully, the desire wasn’t entirely absent, but he was too embarrassed to be the one to suggest it.

Looking back, he figured he should have at least said something, even if it was a bit embarrassing.

Of course, regrets now were meaningless.

Sighing, John rose from his seat, thinking of going for a walk, when his foot caught on something.

It was a flyer he’d mindlessly accepted from someone on the street some time ago.

‘Come to think of it, wasn’t today the re-opening of the Magitool Department Store?’

John picked up the flyer without thinking and read the contents, then checked the date.

It was today.

‘Since I don’t have anything else to do, I might as well go.’

He lightly threw on a jacket, thus completing his preparations, and promptly left his house, heading for the department store.

Originally, it was a place built and operated by the head of the Merchants’ Guild’s mainland branch, but recently, as compensation for distributing Fairytale within the Empire, it had been handed over to the Empire.

Needless to say, it was the Minister’s accomplishment.

‘Not only cutting off the supply of Fairytale, but seizing the department store too. He may be my master, but he’s a truly frightening person.’

Rumor had it that the Emperor was overjoyed upon hearing the news, and standing before the department store, John figured it was probably true.

‘It’s big.’

It was big. The department store was truly, unbelievably enormous.

It exuded such formidable grandeur that one could easily believe the claim of it being the largest on the continent.

‘The name’s changed too. “Acherus Empire Magical Tool Department Store,” eh?’

Moreover, it seemed they were holding various events to celebrate the grand re-opening.

Receiving a discount coupon at the entrance, John felt a slight thrill as he stepped inside.

‘I’ve lived thinking I didn’t need magical tools, but seeing them up close, there’s quite a lot of interesting stuff, isn’t there?’

The categories were more diverse than he’d imagined.

From simple household goods to survival equipment for adventurers, it seemed like it would be harder to find what *wasn’t* here.

‘Hoo, this might be quite useful…’

Looking at a hand warmer that could be used continuously with a simple replacement, even without magic power or oil, he wondered if it would be suitable for winter missions. Just then, a familiar figure came into view.

“Ah, Director.”

“Hmm?”

John put the hand warmer down and quickly approached the Director, offering his greetings.

—

“What is it, John? I distinctly gave you leave, didn’t I?”

“Yes. I’m on leave.”

Ah, it was just a chance encounter, then.

Seeing as meeting a superior during one’s vacation could be awkward, I was about to excuse myself, but John unexpectedly spoke up.

“Would you mind if I browsed alongside you, Director, if that’s alright?”

“I’ve no objections, but.”

“Thank you.”

No need for thanks.

But following one’s superior around on one’s rare days off… is he truly alright with that? Christina and the Owl members really are an odd bunch.

Or perhaps, is this a case of that? Being so accustomed to working that one feels restless when idle?

If that were the case, I’d have to say it was rather sad.

“What brings you to the department store, Director? Is there something you’re looking to purchase?”

Still, perhaps because he was on leave, John’s voice wasn’t as stiff as usual, and he was talking more than he normally did.

As long as it relieved the fatigue of the day somehow, the method wasn’t something I’d interfere with.

Thinking that, I responded to John’s words.

“My younger sister’s new artifact is being unveiled today, so I came to see it.”

“If it’s your sister, Minister, she must be at the Magic Tower…”

Unlike me, who seemed to embody the very definition of incompetence, my siblings were all exceptionally talented, no, geniuses.

Especially Angela, the third child, who showed great talent for magic since childhood and, upon graduating from the academy, entered the Magic Tower and is active as a researcher and artifact developer.

“What kind of artifact did your sister develop this time?”

“I don’t know.”

The letter only said to come today and that she’d cry if I didn’t.

Though if you’re going to tell me to come, shouldn’t you at least tell me where to go, little sister?

For now, the new items from the Magic Tower are usually unveiled on this floor, so I figured I should wander around. I was about to move when…

Someone hugged me from behind.

“Big brother!”

“…I always say this, but you’re a grown adult now, Angela.”

Sighing, I released the hands holding onto my waist and turned around to see my sister, who only seemed to have grown in height and hadn’t changed in any other way since childhood, pouting.

“That’s so mean! Does that mean you won’t hug Angela because she’s not small and cute anymore?”

“Don’t talk about your own brother like a pedophile. I mean you should be more careful with your actions now that you’re an adult.”

Referring to herself in the third person… it’s cute, but still, stop it.

“I don’t want to! Angela’s going to stick to big brother forever!”

Usually, someone who said something like that would be the first to get married, but when Angela said it, it didn’t sound like a joke.

That’s because this one is obsessed with magic.

“Aren’t there any good men at the Magic Tower?”

“I don’t need any men! I only need big brother!”

Are you a child?

“Alright, alright. So, what is this artifact you made?”

“Ah, that’s over there!”

“Over there?”

Could she possibly mean that place, swarming with a huge crowd?

“Quite popular, I see.”

“Of course, it’s because Angela made it! So, stroke my head!”

I’d thought about it before, but our family’s usage of the word “therefore” felt…off.

It wasn’t difficult, so I did give it a pat.

“At this rate, you won’t even get a glimpse.”

“It’s alright! Thinking this might happen, I brought a prototype for you to see, Brother!”

Angela tugged me along, and we ended up at a warehouse behind the department store.

We passed through a place bustling with people and arrived at what seemed to be a staff breakroom.

Angela told me to wait a moment, rummaged through a box she must have brought, and then laid something out in front of me.

“Ta-dah! This is the new magical tool Angela made!”

“…A blanket?”

Unless my eyes were deceiving me, it just looked like a normal blanket.

Angela seemed to have anticipated our bewilderment – mine, John’s, and the guards’ – at the unveiling of the new magical tool, which we expected to be something extravagant, she wagged her finger and tutted.

“A magical tool doesn’t have to be flashy and showy to be good. Here, Brother, try it out.”

I wrapped it around myself.

It was warm, of course.

“Hmm?”

Wait a second. This is really warm, isn’t it?

“Hehe, you noticed? This isn’t just any blanket! If you just put a cheap fire mana stone in the little pocket at the edge…voila! You can stay warm for hours, even in the frozen hellscape!”

This must be the small pocket she was talking about. It even had a dial attached, perhaps for adjusting the temperature.

“Impressive.”

“But that’s not all! Its defensive capabilities are also incredibly high…Hiyah!”

Suddenly, Angela drew a dagger and lunged, stabbing me with the blanket still wrapped around me, but the dagger shattered, somehow.

Ooh, impressive…

Wait, hold on.

Guards and John. Why are you just standing there while I’m being stabbed?

It wouldn’t have happened, but if the blanket had been pierced, wouldn’t I be dead?

“How is it? Amazing, right?”

“Amazing might be an understatement. It’s simply incredible. How does it work?”

“Well, it’s based on salamander leather, with a bunch of other things ground up and fused together, but you wouldn’t understand even if I explained it, so let’s just skip it!”

Treating her brother like an idiot.

She’s right, but still, I’m annoyed.

Even setting aside the fact that my little sister made it, this blanket looks immensely useful.

Should I give one to each of the Information Bureau guys? Lisana would be especially fond of it, I reckon.

“I’ll take a hundred, including ones for the boys here. Send them to the Information Bureau.”

A hundred might be overkill, but it’s always wise to have a surplus of things like this.

At that, John and the guards all but threw themselves at me to dissuade me.

“M-Minister! We’ll buy our own, sir!”

“The money is fine! I’m your big brother, so I’ll just give them to you!”

“Both of you, quiet.”

When I offer something, just take it quietly.

—

Currently, the researchers belonging to the Magic Tower’s First Magical Development Department were experiencing something akin to sheer horror.

“Big brother! Since we’ve met after so long, how about a date with Angela? Huh?”

Not only was *the Ice Demon* referring to herself in the third person, but she was also bouncing and chirping in an unbelievably cheerful voice, begging her older brother to spend time with her.

They wanted to commend themselves for not collapsing in a frothy mess.

‘That woman is the same person as that inhuman witch?’

The woman who’d forced them to use incomplete magical artifacts under the guise of ‘testing’ and then proceeded to unleash magic indiscriminately.

The woman who’d picked up an axe and beat them to test the artifact’s defensive capabilities, or so she had claimed.

The woman who, claiming a lack of materials, had entered a dungeon, slaughtered monsters, and peeled off their hides with her bare hands, covered head to toe in blood while laughing.

The woman who had gone head-to-head with the Tower Master, despite his finding faults to keep her in check, and won.

That woman was now clinging to a man, calling him ‘big brother,’ a little girl.

‘Ghurk.’

The researchers, truly on the verge of vomiting, hastily covered their mouths as they gazed fearfully at the man on whom the demon was lavishing affection.

‘The Iron-Blooded Minister. Just what…’

What one had to *do* to make that demon wag her tail like a dog who’d finally found its master, they couldn’t even begin to fathom.

A short while later, after promising to meet again for dinner, the Minister turned to leave. The demon, who had been waving enthusiastically at him, turned back to face them.

Her expression was already gone.

“Send one hundred to the Information Bureau, by the end of today. Know that you will die if you make a mistake or are late.”

The researchers scrambled to start packaging.

Without so much as a glance in their direction, Angela sat down at her desk and took out a hand mirror to check her makeup.

It had been, truth be told, an eternity since she’d last gone on a date with her beloved older brother.

She wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if she didn’t approach this with the utmost care.

‘Ah, Ervin, my dear brother…’

Angela’s eyes burned with passionate fervor as she thought of him.