Chapter 46 – 5.8 Resurrection 1

I, Akane Tsukimiya, was wandering the universe.
Can’t see anything can’t hear anything Nothing.
And an empty space where you can’t even feel your own existence.

How long will this loneliness last?
Mom. Dad. Aoi.
I think of the faces of my family that I will never see again.

And.
Kurosaki Yuuki.
I remember the face of a friend who gave me more than family.

However.
The image of Yuuki as a man was scarcely left in my memory.
The only thing that comes to mind is Yuu’s face as a girl.

Yuu blushes in embarrassment, Yuu frowns in anger, Yuu endures bullying silently, Yuu lowers her eyes sadly…….

Every Yuuki I could think of had a woman’s face.
I can’t recall Yuuki’s face as a man, to the point that I wonder if Yuuki was a woman from the start.

Yuu….
Miss you…….

Even the girl’s figure is getting blurry.
I feel like I’ll soon be forgotten
It was sad that even the memories that I would recall someday would disappear.

If even Yuuki’s memories disappear, I will be trapped in this world without even memories.

No.
I hate that.

Even if you complain, no one will listen.
Only empty thoughts echoed in his mind.

I remember Yuu’s smiling face.
Yuu’s brightly smiling face…….
…… However.
For some reason it never comes to mind.
Digging through the bottom of his consciousness, he could finally recall Yuu’s smile.

However.
I am not where that vague smile is headed.
Knives was heading for Windsor.

Yuu, who became a woman, had never shown me a smile.

No.
Even before he became a woman, even when Yu was still a man.
I couldn’t imagine Yuu smiling at me.
There was never a time when Yuu’s smile was directed at me.

Perhaps.
Could Yuu have hated me from the start?

No.

I was in denial.
But is that really not the case, or is it just that you don’t want to believe in reality?
Even that I wasn’t sure.

No…….

I decided to stop thinking.
Thinking of Yuu only makes me sad.
Digging out the memories only hurts.

In that case, let’s think of something else.
Think of the person you hate instead of the person you love.

Knives Windsor.
The enemy who ruined my plans, ruined my life, and ended my life.

Knives Windsor.
His resentment toward Knives burns like a flame.

However.
The fuel for the fire quickly ran out, and the flame died out.

Resenting Knives is just futile.
No matter how much you hate and resent me, there is no way to take revenge on me who has already died.

I even stopped complaining.

Perhaps, by now, Knives and Yuu…….

…….

Im sad.
Where did it go wrong?
Why do I have to suffer like this?
Have I made such a big mistake?

Yuuki.
Sorry. Please forgive.
I’m sorry, Yuuki, forgive me, I’m sorry, Yuuki, forgive me, I’m sorry, Yuuki, forgive me.

However.
No matter how many times I apologized, this nightmare didn’t end.

Yuuki… Sorry…….

Tsukimiya Akane’s nightmare never ends.

* * *

There was light
It is like looking up at the sunlight shining on the water surface from the depths of the sea.
It was such a dark, dim light.

However.
No matter how dark it was, light was light.

A change came to this nightmare that seemed to last forever.
That alone made me feel the illusion that my heart had already stopped beating.

Swim by the light
Then, isn’t that light getting closer and closer to me?

Swim and swim again.
I got closer and closer to the light.

And I was finally able to confirm the reality of the light.

It was like a distorted screen on an old TV.
And beyond that light, I could see the faces of people I knew well.

Mom and dad…… !

If I had eyes, I would have shed tears.
If I had a mouth, I would have called out loud.

But all I have is consciousness.
I wasn’t even sure if this sadness or pity I was feeling was real or not.

All I could do was look at the reflection through the window of my consciousness.

‘To think Akane is dead…….’

Parents in a somber mood.
Dad was wearing a black suit and Mom was wearing a black kimono.
Are you grieving the death of your foolish daughter?

Dad mom…….

It was only when I saw my parents in mourning clothes that I realized my own death.
I am even more saddened by the sadness of my life and the thought of my parents who will mourn the death of their young child.

However.
The voice I heard through the window was different from what I expected.

‘A conspiracy to commit gang rape in Ijime? Is it Akane? Are you sure?’
‘…… Yes. Text messages, videos, voice recordings, everything…… Even in Akane’s diary.’
‘What is this… Was it necessary to kill him?’
‘Refusing arrest and starting to use rune abilities, inevitably, they say.’
‘I can’t… Do stupid things…… !’

Dad covers his face with his hands as if he’s dumbfounded.

‘How do you educate your daughter——’

…… No!
It’s not like that! Something like that…… !

Even if I shout inside, it doesn’t reach through the window.
I can’t even knock on the window because I don’t have hands.
All you can do is just watch.

And, neither was it.
It was literally.

Ijime ringleader, rape conspiracy, refusal to arrest.
All I did

All…… I…… It was a thing.

‘What face do you use to inform your relatives!’
‘Something like a funeral!’
‘This is how I lose face——’
‘Useless boy. Embarrassing her until she dies.’
‘The insurance money doesn’t even come out?’
‘The money spent on raising them so far is—’
‘Akane is not the daughter of our Tsukimiya family.’

A father who always valued face more than his family.
I never thought I would change even in the face of my daughter’s death her.

…… Why do I have to watch this scene until I die?
I wish I hadn’t known.

Although I wanted to see my family.
I didn’t want to see a sight like this.

How, who, and why show me this sight?

God? Or is this such a hell?
Because I was wrong when I was alive, so you show me this? Are you showing me to reflect?

…… Okay. Sorry.
If it’s a nightmare, wake me up
Rather send me back to that darkness where there is nothing.

…… Okay.
Remembered
The reason why I was obsessed with Yuu.

Because Akane Tsukimiya had a light that Yuuki Kurosaki did not have.

A clean mind, strong convictions, and a harmonious family.

Things I don’t have.
And what I wanted
Yuu had all of that.

So I wanted to
The very existence of Kurosaki Yuuki.
If I have Yuuki, what Yuuki has will become mine.

But I couldn’t have
Knives Windsor blocked me.

Okay.
It’s also something I couldn’t have.

That’s what a friend is.

…… Haha.
Yuu really has everything.
For me, there is nothing.

…….
I was just, sad.
Even my parents do not mourn my death.
I was just sad because I thought that no one would be sad even if I died.

I threw away all lingering feelings, sadness, and resentment.
It’s okay even if consciousness disappears like this.
I thought so.

However.
The nightmare isn’t over yet.

The scene changes.
Funeral home with no one but family.
Suspicious people came there.
Those people said strange things to Dad.

‘You’re going to buy Akane’s body?’
‘Huh. Cheap I’ll give it to you if you bring me ten times that amount.’
‘What? That, is that so If it’s like that.’
‘I will sell it. But the record……. Oh, of course.’
‘Anyway, she’s not my daughter anymore, so do whatever you want.’

…… Dad?
How…… What are you talking about?
My corpse… You want to sell?

‘Huh. Did I finally get my investment back?’
‘It was of no help while alive, but at least it is helpful after death.’

Where? To whom? Why?
What are you trying to do with my corpse?

Should my consciousness remain like this? Continuing in this empty space? Isn’t it cremating the corpse and attaining Buddhahood? Aren’t you reincarnated?
…… Can’t I rest even if I die?

What should I do until I die…….

…… The scene changes again.
Inside a dark room.
Like a laboratory.
There were two men and women wearing what looked like white doctor’s coats.

‘You’re here at last, Doctor. A fresh corpse.’
‘Tie it properly.’
‘By the way, I really thought it would come with a coffin.’
‘Treat it with respect. It’s a valuable sample.’
‘Of course I do. Where…… Huh? Woohyo! Aren’t you a cute girl!’
‘Hmm……. Is the cause of death a heart attack? His ribs were cut clean. How did you do it?’
‘Indeed. Well worth the big bucks, doc. Such a clean corpse.’
‘Wouldn’t it be more important to be alive than the state of a corpse?’
‘I’ve done enough experiments, so won’t it come back to life?’
‘There is too little data. I can’t even understand the principle in the first place.’
‘Well, isn’t it the magical power of the mystery as always?Haha!’

Also.
It was my coffin and my corpse.
I was sold to this shady laboratory.
My family… The people I believed to be family sold me to these people.

Can not believe it. Don’t want to believe
How am I now
Will it be dissected to shreds?
Or is this perverted man taking his time his?

…… Okay. I do not care.

I’m already dead
I don’t even feel pain
It’s a corpse after all.
Even if a body that has become a corpse is polluted, it means nothing.
Whatever happened to the body.
I’m okay…….

…… It is a lie.
No.
No.
No. I hate that.
Help me. Yuuki.
Yuu. Help me. Sorry. Help me.
Help me…… Yuu….

A woman called the Doctor picks up the red jewel.
A blood-red jewel the size of her thumb nail her.
The woman randomly inserts the jewel into the punctured heart of my corpse.

…… Oh

“…… Ah.”

The dimly visible window was blocked and disappeared.

And instead.

I saw an unfamiliar ceiling.