Chapter 43 – Run Away

Eventually, he decided to go to school.

I am still anxious and scared. Now, it must change. I need to change…

“Hi…”

“Oh, Lagoon, are you here?”

When I see people around me, I naturally hide behind Arin.

Hehe.”

Still fragile
The body rejects the will. I keep relying on Arin. Usually, Arin sticks close to me, but at times like this, I always stick by Arin’s side. Later, I have to protect Arin…

If you walk close to him, you will see a limousine in front of you. Arin and I ride in a limousine.

As I get into the limousine, Arin strokes my hair. Now… You don’t have to pet it. Now, that’s fine…

“Uuuuu… It’s okay now, Arin.”

“Are you okay? Really? Can I stop petting you?”

Arin asks me. She can stop petting, she’s supposed to say that. My mouth.

“…No.”

She says to keep petting.
There is only will. Nothing has changed. I still want to lean on Arin. That fact, a little, hurts her heart.

“Phehe, okay. Stay still?”

“…Huh.”

Eventually, until the front where the limousine arrives at the school.

The hand didn’t stop.

*

*

*

Time passed quickly.
7 to 11 years old. 14 years old. 15 years old. Grow somewhat taller. Muscles were attached to her body as well. As the physical changes took place, I began to gain confidence that I hadn’t had before. When people change, the sense of shame and self-blame decreases to some extent. The situation of leaning on Arin’s side gradually decreased.

That was when

Arin suddenly… Wants to go out with me. She was driven semi-forced. Frankly, I was embarrassed.

To be ‘mine’. Arin said.

Later, after growing up a little more… I was going to say it. Unexpectedly, she nodded her head. She ended up dating her.

That… Um.

Are you okay?

Do you like this imperfect country…? Doubts pass by. Still, one thing is certain.

Arin saw my change and said ‘let’s date’.

Something I couldn’t have imagined before. Something that never happened to me before.

Because I’m stronger It happened.

You can’t stop here. Stronger, better, more perfect.

Take care of yourself you just have to grow If you stop, she will just leave.

Let’s not disappoint Arin.

Catch her heart

Sometime after school. The setting sun illuminates the window.

“Ah, Arin. I have work for a while, so I’m on my way… What’s wrong?”

I look at Arin. Now, I can go back alone. Go back, exercise, study. So, there’s a lot to do.

“Ummm… No”

Arin smiles shyly. Will never disappoint A smile floats on her lips.

“Really? Then I’ll go first! See you later!”

“Okay…”

Arin waved her hand. I waved her hand too. Runs down her hallway.

Slowly, confidence builds.

Can do!

*

*

*

If you have confidence When to take action.

This time it’s sincere. In order to change, first of all… You have to stop all the actions of leaning on Arin.

‘Cause I’m a man too You can’t rely like a fool.

It’s not about getting a will. To depend on. Just like Lee Cheonhwa. To be a dignified man.

That is. Goal.

When Arin tried to help me, I refused. Because now I can do it myself.

Now it’s my turn to help.

From Arin. It’s time to become ‘independent’.

“Oh, Ariana! Are you here?”

He waved her hand at Arin. Seeing yourself slowly and energetically. Fun. It feels like it’s changing.

“Uh, huh? Huh!”

Arin is a little taken aback.
Why, is this your first time doing this? A smile forms on my lips. Don’t worry. Because it will continue to be so in the future.

“Let’s go together, shall we hold hands?”

Grab Arin’s right hand naturally. Arin slightly flinched, but she flinched. Little but cute

“Is that good?”

“Okay! Let’s go together”

“…”

Side by side. Together walk to the limousine

Continuing, endlessly, self-confidence grows.

A smile on your lips. Don’t leave

Arrive in front of the limousine. Sit side by side

Arin reaches out to me. A hand goes to my head.

Grab Arin’s wrist.

“Ah, that, Ariana.”

With a puzzled expression, he looked at Arin. Arin looks at me with a slightly shocked face.

“Uh… Huh?”

“This… Now that’s embarrassing…”

Now, it’s okay not to be stroked.

“Ah.”

“Now, it’s okay if you don’t…”

The one who strokes it later. Because I will be towards Arin. Smile lightly

Let go of her hand Arin’s arm fell powerlessly.

…Are you that shocked? No, that’s fine You must be surprised.

Arin meets her eyes.

“That’s right. Haha.”

“Yeah, I’m not that weak anymore. I’ve worked hard… And got stronger. Hehe.”

Smiles at Arin. Looking at me, Arin also smiles faintly.

A limousine arrives in front of the school.

Can change!

*

*

*

Can it change… Can it?

Six months have passed.

I don’t know.

I can not know.

“That, ha… That’s not it.”

Arin blames me. Her shoulders goofy. She recoils. Arin made a slightly cold expression. She smiles brightly again.

“Let’s not do that next time?”

I nodded her head slowly. Awkwardly, he avoids Arin’s gaze. Her head hurts it’s tough.

For some reason. She keeps making mistakes

For some reason. I keep getting disappointed.

For some reason… It keeps failing.

Why are you doing this?

She blames herself Sleep changed, while eating her heart. It’s a step back Once again, the feeling of self-doubt creeps in.

Am I an idiot who can’t do anything?

I can’t trust myself Over and over… Whatever I try to do. Mistakes, disappointments, and failures are repeated.

“Sorry…”

I apologize to Arin. A feeling like ‘Is this really something to apologize for?’ Creeps up in her heart. Catch by force no. It’s just… I was wrong.

Arin is holding her chin. She strokes my hair As she raises her head, Arin brings her smile to the corner of her mouth.

Now, I have to stroke it.

I’m still

Lean on others

“Are you okay.”

Arin looks at me and smiles. Me too, I laugh awkwardly. She said okay Even if Arin is fine. I’m not okay.

I want to break this cycle of fucking mistakes.

“That, uh… Thank you.”

“Shall we go together now?”

Arin lowers her hand that was stroking her and takes my hand.

Arin dragged me to the front of her limousine.

Now, I have to lead.

Still.

Together side by side. Sit in the limousine.

Arin’s hand slowly moved. It rises above my head.

Her touch… Can’t be denied.

Hehe.”

Arin smiled again. I smile awkwardly too.

“Cute.”

Cute. That one word.

Drive a nail through my chest

Even though I tried so hard Even though I was so heartbroken.

I am not changing.

Yet again. From the depths of my heart

Remorse and self-doubt begin to creep in.

“Cute.”

I want to be strong you can rely on I want to be such a reliable man.

Just.

It’s just cute.

“Cute.”

Just.

“Hehe… Cute.”

Can’t do anything

“Cute.”

Still.

“Cute…”

Forever.

*

*

*

The head of the Han Seok family. Han Ga-yoon.

“Ha…”

I can’t hold back the sigh that comes out.

These days I have a problem. It’s even more frustrating because I don’t know why. Such trouble.

“Seokho. What the hell…”

The son who gradually brightened. I lost my energy again.

That too. Completely.

Thoroughly.

Again, back to the past. It’s like seeing those gloomy and anemic childhood days… Again. It breaks my heart.

Why.

“Driving me crazy…”

…Why.

Has it changed that much?

When I return home, I always greet you brightly. Exercising, studying, and burning everything for that ‘girlfriend’ are disappearing.

Do you see only the ashes left after burning?

My legs keep shaking with anxiety.

If you sit on the daecheongmaru and look at the stars. A figure approaches from afar.

“…Hi.”

The head of Yijega. Cheonhwa Lee.

I nod my head briefly. Lee Cheon-hwa said nothing. Sit next to me

“These days… How is your son?”

How is our lagoon?

“It’s still the same.”

Still

Still depressed, still depressed. Still timid

“It brightens… And then it’s back in place.”

He was such a strong-willed child. Trying to breathe again.

Lee Chun-hwa looks at me. Hard face.

“Well, don’t you think it’s strange?”

Of course it’s strange. Unless you feel strange here. That’s not the parent

Character again. Even if you try to brighten it up. It didn’t work. Just like before. He refuses to talk and just locks himself in his room.

“Of course. It’s strange. That’s… Really. Really.”

My stomach burns.

Cheonhwa Lee makes eye contact with me.

“When I think… This.”

“It’s bullying.”

“Ha…”

A sigh comes out.
I recognized it too. When a person changes to this extent. Could it be that you are actually being bullied? Do. So I did a search, but nothing came out.

“I know. Bullying.

Meticulous
Even if you search like this, who did it? Nothing comes out Even if I ask my son, he says there is no bullying. Right now, it’s just frustrating. I feel like going crazy.

“This time, I’ll help too.”

“Huh?”

“Help me. Grab it.”

Lee Cheonhwa says while looking up at the sky. Well, her daughter is dating my son. Would be concerned

I’m speechless

Nod.

No matter what happens find out

Find.

Separate the flesh from the bones.

Hard-

Teeth are grinding

*

*

*

Again. Six months have passed.

The muscles that clung to it shrank. Weakened. Personality returned to normal.

Walking on the spot.

Back for the first time

Sometime after school.
Home… I don’t want to go back. The way I look now. I’m embarrassed. I can not do anything.

If I stay still in the classroom like this… Arin…

I’m shaking. The classroom door opens.

“…Hi?”

In front of my eyes, there is a person I don’t know. No, I know.

Female classmates. Sehwa Ryu.

Sehwa Ryu trudged. Approaching my seat.

“I have no energy.”

In sorrow, I bow my head. I wanted to change but couldn’t change

“Why… Are you here? To make fun of you?”

The head goes down even further. Avoid eye contact.

“No.”

Sehwa grabs my shoulder. My shoulder startled and trembled

“I just came because I wanted to tell you something.”

“Are you going to tell me…?”

“Huh.”

My head slowly go up Eyes meet each other.

“You…”

“Gaslighting. You know?”

Gas… Lighting?

What is it?

“…I don’t know?”

Nod. Then Ryu Se-hwa. She briefly put her hand on her forehead.

“Ha…”

He sighs. My shoulders shrivel.

“You say you don’t know? Haa… Then you should know now.”

Eyes meet each other.

“I’ll explain, so listen carefully. Then, engrave it.”

It’s because I’m risking my life.

Ryu Se-hwa smiled brightly. Contrary to her mouth, her determined eyes.

“Your fucking girlfriend. What she’s doing to you right now. That’s gaslighting.”

That, huh?

“Yeah, you look good. You’ve been hanging out with your girlfriend until now. Have you ever thought about that?”

Ryu Se-hwa’s face is slightly distorted. A little, but angry expression.

“I didn’t do anything wrong. They say I did something wrong. I didn’t make any mistakes, but I made mistakes that didn’t exist- making me not believe in myself.”

Ryu Se-hwa’s face. Slowly, faster. Distorted. On Ryu Se-hwa’s forehead. Bloody feet

“Anything that makes you stop judging yourself. It’s gaslating with your fucking girlfriend.”

“Because I doubt and doubt again. I wonder if this is actually ‘gaslighting.’ . I…”

Ryu Se-hwa meets my eyes. It’s a little bit, but her eyes are wide. The cheeks are stained red. Can’t compare to Noel.

“It’s hard…”

Now, I feel like crying.

“I… Fuck, ha… Why did I come to like a bastard like this, ha…”

Sehwa Ryu speaks in a crawling voice.

“Whoa… So. Write it down. And keep it in your heart.”

Make eye contact.

“From your girlfriend-

-Run away.“

Ryu Se-hwa touches the flowing tears with her sleeve.

“And… When the time comes… Huh… Huh… Hah… No.”

Ryu Se-hwa shakes her head.

“Seok-ho. I… I’m going to transfer soon.”

Again, make eye contact. Crying, her eyes burned red.

“I’m not going to die. I’m capable too. I’m… Damn smart after all. There’s so many fucking holes to avoid those motherfuckers… Hah… Why am I saying this… No. Just Forget it. No, remember what I said to memorize it.”

Sehwa Ryu tapped me on the shoulder.

“I’m going. I’m not coming to school tomorrow. I’m going far away. And what I just said. Don’t tell anyone. Remember. If you do, I’ll die.”

Ryu Se-hwa gradually moves away from me.

“Bye.”

Ryu Se-hwa shakes his hand. Eventually – completely out of sight.

It feels like the storm has passed.

Heart. My heart beats.

This feeling…

Fear.

Realize. What I’m doing now is…

My girlfriend.

That it was because of Irene.

She’s… Crazy. She can only say that she is crazy.

I need to get away from my girlfriend.

Right.

Even to Sehwa. I should say thank you.

I pondered over every word she said.

‘If you say. Die.’

The fact that Sehwa told me should not be revealed even if I die.
Quickly tell this… To her parents. I have to let them know that I’ve been gaslighted.

Heart. Start running fast

Crazy bitch.

I have to get away from the mad bitch…

Certainly.

The hallway.

Run away