Chapter 34 – Cognition (1)

‘······Ha.’

A warm, sweet, puffy feeling.

Mei Ruina felt refreshed for the first time in a long time.

Since her body was out of her mind’s control, she couldn’t actually stretch, but somehow she felt like she could feel the same way just by thinking about stretching.

A feeling of refreshment similar to that felt when she sat at her desk studying for a long time and then got up from her seat and stretched to relax the muscles of her entire body was being felt.

Now she might be able to feel like she’s stretched without actually stretching!

With that thought, Mei Ruina let out a sound that sounded like her lungs were being squeezed, as if she had actually stretched.

‘Uuuuu!’

Of course, as a vegetative person, she couldn’t even move her lips, so she just thought she made those sounds in her mind.

However, the feeling of refreshment that remained in her body gave her the same feeling as when she had really stretched herself.

‘Huaaaaa… Hehe.’

Since she became a vegetable, she couldn’t move her body at all, so this pseudo-stretching gave her a sense of freedom for the first time in a long time.

The feeling of her own body moving in response to her will, causing her stiff muscles to relax.

This feeling of refreshment and coolness combined into a sense of liberation and made Mei Ruina smile.

‘Ah.’

At the same time, Mei Ruina recognized the fact that she was a saint who had no reason to stretch in the first place and was always in perfect condition.

※

‘Uh, huh… Ugh?’

A feeling like waking up from a dream.

When her dazed mind cleared, and she realized that the sense of freedom and refreshment that had made her happy just moments ago was in fact a figment of her imagination, Mei Ruina could not help but be disappointed.

She didn’t actually stretch, and she just pretended to stretch while her body was feeling refreshed, but in reality, it was just a dream of hers.

‘Have I become a person who can’t even imagine stretching?’

When she realized that the sense of freedom, so small and trivial but precious to her, was in fact a sensation she could only feel in her dreams, her fluffy mood turned into her emptiness.

The feeling of floating in a weightless space and then suddenly falling to the floor.

In technical terms, the feeling of giving and taking away was bound to be unpleasant for people, and of course this also applied to Mei Ruina.

‘Haha… That’s right. What can I do? It’s not like anyone forced me to bring it up, it’s just me delusional and disappointed. I just have to be satisfied with the fact that I had a good dream…’

She was able to resist everything and achieve everything she wished for, but the moment she was cursed and became a vegetable, she was unable to resist anything and was unable to achieve everything she wished for.

She cried every day to deny the reality she had never experienced in her life, and it was only when she realized that no matter how much she cried, she could never actually shed a single tear, that she learned to give up.

So now, Mei Rui is an expert in resignation, and even though she learned that the happy feeling was actually an illusion she felt in her dream, she still despairs because of her disappointment.

‘······Wait. Dream? ‘Did I just dream?’

Just before she gave up, Mei Ruina suddenly realized that the everyday word dream, which had passed through her mind so many times for granted, was unfamiliar to her now.

‘Uh, how? How was it possible for me to dream…?’

Because now Mei Ruina is trapped in her own body, in her darkness, with only her spirit intact. That’s why she couldn’t even fall asleep.

Her body and mind were separated, and her consciousness was naturally focused on the mind.

The spirit, which was completely free from the body, was not affected by the body, and therefore she did not become tired.

It’s just that I’m always in a perfect state to keep my thoughts clear and clear.

However, this clear and vivid mind was more terrible than any curse to Mei Ruina.

Even though she wanted to somehow avert her eyes from this reality of being a vegetable, it was impossible for her to even fall asleep with only her spirit remaining.

Therefore, after she became a vegetative state, one of the things that Ruina Mei could not give up despite giving up so many things was sleep.

‘Well, you fell asleep, right…?’

And now, when she realized that she had dreamed, she Mei Ruina realized that she had fallen asleep without her knowledge and that she had woken up.

‘Huh, how?! How on earth was I able to fall asleep…’

Mei Ruina, who had been praying in the empty darkness for a month without missing a single day, asking that she could at least sleep, was confused by the fact that she was able to achieve the sleep she so desperately wanted.

[Now, start from 10 seconds.]

‘Ah.’

Then, suddenly, the voice that remained at the very edge of her memory played again in her head, as if a film that had been cut off due to excessive drinking was brought back at once.

[Poetry, poetry ♥♥♥♥ guhuuu♥♥♥]

‘Ahhhhh?!!’

Memories of her massaging her breasts and counting the seconds came flooding back, just as the F-class awakened told her to do.

‘Three, oh my god. Are you saying that I said that out loud in front of Mr. Su and Stay, not someone else but a saint?! Oh, this can’t happen! This shouldn’t happen! It’s a shame. It is a shame that if she becomes known to the public, she will never be able to be a revered saint again…’

An unbearable shame that makes you want to jump headfirst into a hole without the slightest hesitation.

She is praised as the world’s greatest healing power and a saint who descended to earth for the first time in hundreds of years, but as an F-rank awakened person, all she has are large, thick, and heavy hands that make you feel warm and good when you stroke them, and it seems like she’s drawing a line a little, but she’s a good person. Every word is filled with consideration and sincerity, and I don’t know where on earth such confidence comes from considering that she is a saint with only an F-grade topic, but the fact that she did as told by Stay, who even had such a masculine voice, must be erased from history. It was an incident.

To that extent, Mei Ruina was so ashamed of the fact that she played along with his touch as Stay told her to do.

‘No, no. Let’s think again. May Ruina, what Mr. Stay did to me was definitely a humiliation and shame that I will never forget until the moment I die, but it was a necessary act, right? Right? Is it so. That’s right. It’s inevitable…’

[Yuhuuk?!♥♥ Oh, oh, oh…♥♥♥♥♥ Oh hook······♥]

‘Hiyaaaaa!!!!!’

No matter how many times I told myself that it was just a healing act that must be done in order to be released from the curse, the heat that covered my face never went away.

Rather, every time she forced herself to recall that it was an act of healing, the events that occurred before she fainted were replayed more clearly, causing a scream to come out of her mouth.

If the current Mei Ruina had not been a vegetable, if even one of her five bodies had been able to move as she wanted, the hospital room she was lying in now would have been a demolished village instead of a hospital room.

Mei Ruina was so embarrassed by the fact that she had been toyed with by Stay that she could not remain sane.

‘Ugh… I can never forgive you. There must have been another way. How dare you massage a person’s precious heart like that, a sacred symbol of motherhood that should only be allowed to the husband and child you will later marry. As if he were handling a musical instrument, he presses, turns, bounces, hits the drum, gently scratches and kneads with his fingertips, holds tightly, twists, and strokes affectionately…’

To fuel her anger and fuel her desire for revenge, she listed the humiliation and humiliation she had experienced, and naturally Mei Ruina was able to relive what Stay had done to her.

‘······Mmm.’

This meant a reproduction of the sensation I felt from Stay’s touch before I passed out.

‘What, what? Still, she has no choice but to admit that thanks to Stay, she was able to get the sleep she wanted so much. Would you like me, like a saint, to show great generosity and let Mr. Stay do a terrible thing to me?’

Mei Ruina’s anger and her desire for revenge subsided in an instant as she remembered the pleasure she felt from her stay’s touch.

The two emotions that burned like fire disappeared along with the shame, and all that remained like ashes was the shame… And the lingering feeling of treatment.

‘······But next time, I have to tell you not to give orders. I am Saint May Ruina, and Mr. Stay is Mr. Stay. Even if you give me an order, in some cases it is right for me to do it to Mr. Stay.’

However, even though her desire for revenge and anger disappeared, her pride, which was closest to her essence, remained, and Mei Ruina vowed that next time she would not be left helpless like the last time.

‘Is it so. From now on, when Mr. Stay touches my breasts, he must only touch me with the intensity I want, in the part I want, and in the way I want. After all, it is impossible for Mr. Stay to touch my breasts the way he wants. Mmmm! Great. You have to say it sharply and very firmly… Ah.’

Mei Ruina, who was happily imagining what words to take the initiative in, suddenly remembered a fact she had overlooked.

‘······3 days.’

In order to meet and talk to Stay again, it must be three days before her turn comes.

‘Only after Mr. Stay treated Mr. Dain Adamas and Mr. Mir Ryuin. It’s my turn.’

The moment Mei Ruina realized that, for some reason, she felt that her pounding heart suddenly became cold.