219 – Yuria and Olivia -2-

Yuria had an illness that she couldn’t tell others about.

It wasn’t an incurable disease or a terminal illness, but a mental illness that gnawed at her heart.

It was an illness of not being able to trust promises.

This mental illness had been tormenting Yuria for a very long time. Yuria had to be kind and always show a bright face to others because of this reason.

The start of this illness was from Yuria’s childhood, from a promise her mother made. It wasn’t a grand, sad story. It was just something that could happen to anyone.

That day, too, the north was cold and desolate. To cure her mother’s mysterious illness, her father went out to work, and her mother lay in bed.

-Mom, don’t get sick.

-Then… why are you sick, Mom?

-Waaah…! I’ll go to the mountain and pick some herbs…

-Shh! Yuria! Mom said not to go to the mountain. There are scary wolves, remember?!

-But… Mom said so.

-Mom is okay.

My mom, who always says “it’s okay,” made a promise with her finger.

-We’ll go on a picnic together with Mom and Dad next spring.

-Uh-huh… it’s a promise.

-That’s right. Instead, Yuria has to become a good kid who listens to Mom’s words. That way, Mom will get better too.

-Uh-huh.

Mom, who promised to take me on a picnic when I get better, couldn’t keep that promise.

My illness worsened.

The debt kept growing.

Dad wasn’t home.

Yuria was left with unkept promises, holding onto the finger that made those promises. She believed that someday, those promises would come true.

Was she too pure? Or was it because she had no one to rely on but her family in the harsh north? The promises Mom made with her finger weighed heavily on Yuria.

-Mom…?

Mom broke her promise.

Even though she was lying by the fireplace filled with wood, she didn’t respond, her expression frozen cold.

The one-sided vow she made, the promise to get better if Yuria became a good kid, was all locked up in a cold frame and broken.

From then on, Yuria didn’t believe in promises.

She couldn’t trust people, and the disease of doubt that she couldn’t trust anyone was born.

She laughed on the outside but cried on the inside. The disease slowly took root in Yuria’s young heart.

Like a fool.

Yuria tried to be a good daughter to her father. If she did, Dad wouldn’t have a hard time, and Mom in heaven would be happy to see her trying to be a good kid.

-I’m sorry… this month’s interest is…!

But the darkness always came.

Dad’s promise to be with her on her birthday if she studied hard, and the creditor’s promise to find him if he didn’t pay up, were all broken.

So Yuria laughed.

Even if she didn’t believe.

Even if the promises weren’t kept.

She always laughed away her sadness.

That was better. Even if it was hard, even if it was lonely, everyone liked it when she laughed. She laughed and laughed again.

Yuria always thought.

Wasn’t she a burden?

Wouldn’t the situation get better if she laughed more?

Could she receive love if she didn’t hate others? She always carried the heavy thought on her shoulders.

-Hello, Grandma!

When she treated people with laughter, she got more food. The cookies that Grandma gave her, saying she was cute and good, tasted so good back then.

-Tsk, tsk… poor thing.

But she didn’t slouch in embarrassment, even when people whispered “poor kid” behind her back.

Because she didn’t believe in them either. She had no reason to get hurt.

Yuria was afraid to trust others.

I know. My own story wouldn’t give others a reason to doubt me. I knew that, and I tried to fix it. But the situations unfolding before my eyes only hurt Yuria’s heart even more.

If I open my heart, I’ll get betrayed.

“-Hey, did you hear that Ricardo’s been badmouthing you behind your back?”

“-He talks to you, but he’s just using you for his own convenience, right?”

“-Yuria~ let’s have some fun together! Oh, but isn’t that thing just too cute? I’ll buy it for you, I promise!”

In reality, I’m not that bright, nor am I a fool. A long time ago, a lump of emotions in my heart created this foolish self.

I want to receive affection.

I want to receive love.

I want to be seen as a good kid, but that desire has turned me into a monster that might explode at any moment.

My true feelings are different.

In reality, I want to curse and hate.

I want to throw a tantrum, but my obsessive nature doesn’t allow me to do so easily. Except for one person… my emotional baggage disappears when I’m with that one person.

“-I’ll protect you.”

“-…”

“-You don’t have to believe me. You can hate me if you want. I’ll do what I want anyway.”

“-Why?”

“-Just because I want to?”

I know. I know why my emotions are so unpredictable.

Especially when it comes to Ricardo, I know I’m more sensitive towards him, but it’s hard to change that.

I easily get angry.

“-I trusted you.”

I’m easily disappointed.

“-Ricardo’s always causing trouble wherever he is.”

I know that I’m overly suspicious of Ricardo, and it’s hard to change that. Ricardo has never broken his promises to me so far.

“Ah.”

Sitting on the bench at the North Hospital, Yuria buried her complex thoughts and lowered her head.

Why did I do that?

Why did I speak coldly to Ricardo?

Every time, I regret it after it’s too late.

My thoughts deepen, and my heart becomes more anxious.

When I stand in front of Ricardo, I see a reliable person, and I become overly dependent, bursting into tears.

When did I become like this?

Yuria, who was letting out a cold sigh, reflected on her mistakes with a gloomy expression.

No answer came.

How should I apologize this time? What words should I use to approach him? If only I had trusted him a little more, I wouldn’t have doubted him and approached him.

Maybe if I had treated Ricardo the same way I treat others, things would have turned out differently. Yuria scolded herself, lowering her head.

North Hospital’s single room.

-Woohoo!

Thanks to my connections, I finished the simple statement and was hospitalized in a good hospital, where I was enjoying my leisure time, lying comfortably in bed.

“How long has it been since I’ve been hospitalized?”

I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve been hospitalized. Except for the time I got hit by a car in my previous life, I’ve never been hospitalized before. I was enjoying the rare hospital atmosphere, savoring the time.

-Woohoo!

Just one thing.

If you exclude the noisy little girl running around, that is.

“Hee hee! Rikaruto!”

The little girl, who seemed to have regressed to her childhood, couldn’t sit still. Wearing a bear-patterned slipper, she was running around, poking her face out from the bed railing, saying “Woohoo! Rikaruto is dead!” and pretending to sound an air raid alarm.

-Hee hee!!! Air raid alarm!

She really was a little girl, judging from her behavior.

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing as I caught the little girl who was about to run out into the hospital corridor. If I let her go, my hard-earned relaxation time might be ruined. I held her tiny head and smiled.

“Cough, cough. Little girl, can I have some water?”

“Water?”

“Yes.”

“Rikaruto will drink it.”

“…Are you a patient?”

I pointed to my hospital gown and said, “I’m a patient, can’t you take care of me?” The little girl opened her eyes faintly and nodded her head, forcing a smile.

“Okay. Then don’t die.”

“I won’t die.”

“Okay.”

-Hoohoo!

She really is a cute little girl.

The little girl, who had temporarily shrunk, was adorable to the point of being pitiful. Her chubby cheeks and cute pronunciation made me think that she was cute even when she was young.

I chuckled and shook my head.

“I still don’t like girls, though.”

My taste is fixed, after all. I couldn’t give up on the little girl’s treasure pouch. A little girl without a treasure pouch is like an empty shell, after all.

I believed the little girl’s words that she would come back in a day or so, and I entrusted myself to my relaxation.

It was nice to see the little girl, who could walk temporarily, and it was a good feeling.

It’s not permanent, though.

My body had been damaged, and my nerves had recovered. To be precise, my body had returned to its former state.

When my dark magic returns, the little girl’s legs will go back to normal, too. Although it’s a shame, I knew it was unavoidable, so neither of us was too worried about it. Now, I just want to enjoy the present happiness.

As I heard the little girl’s loud footsteps running into the hospital room, I smiled faintly.

“Rikaruto!”

The little girl, carrying a cup of water on her head, was running towards me, her nose flaring. Everything she did was cute, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

Her expression was stiff.

Her face was red, and her shoulders were shaking, making her look like a mischievous villain, which made me laugh.

The little girl held out the cup of water she was carrying and said to me, “Here’s water.”

As I ran in, I saw the half-empty water bottle and let out a dry laugh.

“Miss.”

“Yes.”

“There’s no water.”

“No, I brought some.”

“No way.”

“No, I’m positive… wait?”

The lady, gazing at the empty water cup, looked at me with a puzzled expression, as if asking “Why is it empty?”

“Right?”

“Yes.”

“Will you go get some more?”

“No, it’s a hassle.”

I carefully took the lady’s water cup and started to gently pat her wet hair with it.

“Wooow…!”

As I stroked her soft hair, the lady closed her eyes, tilting her head, and let out a discontented sigh, saying “Don’t…!”

After a while.

The moon began to rise outside the window.

The full moon, which filled the northern sky, started to illuminate the heavens.

Sitting together by the window, the lady and I gazed at the starry sky with blank expressions, pointing at the stars with our fingers.

“Wow, it’s beautiful.”

“Yes, it’s even more special than the stars we can see in Hamel.”

“That’s right.”

The starry sky, filled with the Milky Way, began to lull us to sleep with a gentle melody.

As I sat with the lady between my legs, I felt drowsy and pulled her close, lying down on the bed.

“Heeek!”

The lady, who was squirming uncomfortably, tried to break free from my embrace. I buried my face in her forehead and spoke in a sleepy tone.

“Shhh…”

“Don’t sleep!”

“Shhh…”

“You’re treating a noble lady…”

“It’s okay, I’m just a young woman now.”

“…Is that so?”

The lady, who nodded and buried her face in my chest, soon fell asleep in my arms.

Her breathing was steady.

-Hmph!

But the lady’s breathing wasn’t steady at all.

I closed my eyes and let my body relax, feeling the drowsiness wash over me. I thought to myself, “I should sleep early today,” and finally let go of my tension, drifting off to sleep.

*

-Knock knock.

A knock was heard from outside the hospital room.

…

A hospital room with no response.

Yuria, standing outside the door, bit her lip and lowered her head. She held the fruit basket tightly to her chest, standing still for a while outside the door with no response.

About 20 minutes must have passed.

Thinking of leaving the basket in the hospital room, Yuria carefully opened the door.

-“Drrr…”

“Excuse me…”

“…”

Yuria held her breath, seeing the figure of a woman sitting in a wheelchair through the open door.

The woman, Olivia, was looking at herself with her arms crossed, her eyes calm.

“Follow me.”

“…”

Olivia, who had regained her composure, wheeled herself out of the hospital room.