244 – My Name is ‘Misa’ -2-

-〈Side Story 666〉 ‘To Your Original Form…’ viewing begins.

Mikhail exhaled at the bizarre situation unfolding before his eyes.

‘Where is this…?’

It didn’t feel like illusion magic, nor did it seem like a hallucination, given how vividly real it was. Mikhail opened his eyes wide in wonder.

‘What’s this…’

Flustered, Mikhail looked up and scanned his surroundings.

“This is…”

The academy.

Standing in a place he had passed countless times, Mikhail’s eyes widened and he swallowed his breath. He had been in the dormitory just moments ago, and now he found himself in front of the fountain. He couldn’t comprehend the situation.

It was night, but now it’s day…

The voice of the blue window faintly reached Mikhail’s bewildered ears.

[Do you remember?]

Caught off guard by the question about memories from the blue window, Mikhail was puzzled.

‘What am I supposed to remember…?’

[Do you remember the memories from three days after you left the academy’s bad fate behind?]

The blue window brought up a memory that Mikhail had thought insignificant.

[That dawn, there was a letter in your shoe cabinet. A letter written so poorly it was indecipherable.]

Mikhail pondered over his past memories, wondering what that letter was all about.

‘It was nothing.’

In the faintly surfacing memory, Mikhail had thought it was just one of the many love letters he always received. He had assumed it was from someone who was terribly bad at writing.

In the lingering memory, perhaps, that letter was…

[You tore up that letter without a second thought.]

He must have definitely torn it up.

Mikhail looked at the blue window with trembling eyes, struck by a sudden chill.

‘No, it can’t be.’ With a thought of denial and an ominous feeling, Mikhail looked at the blue window as the answer slowly began to form.

[You tore up the letter without any hesitation, not knowing who the illegible writer was.]

‘No, it’s not true.’

[The author of the letter had sat at the desk for two days, writing with all their heart. They filled the paper with worries about what expression you would wear upon reading it, what thoughts you might have.]

And then

[That boy waited for you endlessly that day and then left.]

The blue window spoke.

About the boy’s survival.

It calmly listed the mistakes about the things it had failed to notice. And then it recited the contents of the letter it had not read.

[It’s been a while since I’ve written a letter.]

A letter bearing a nickname known only to oneself.

[There have been many things, but I’m such a poor writer that I thought it would be hard to convey them in writing. I shouldn’t write too much, honestly, I don’t think you’ll be able to read it.]

It slowly interpreted.

[I wanted to leave a letter before I left. I wanted to see your face just once more.]

‘No…’

Mikhail shook his head.

It was an impossible event, he scolded and hated himself for missing the opportunity right in front of him, looking at the letter with trembling eyes.

[I’ll be waiting at the fountain tomorrow at 6 PM.]

In the last sentence, Mikhail’s heart began to pound fiercely. It raced madly, and he was shaking his shoulders, breathing raggedly with resentment towards himself.

-Your long-time friend.

‘Haah… Haah…’

[In memories unknown to anyone.]

[You read that boy’s letter. Clutching your heart at the first line of the letter you chanced upon, you were diligently interpreting it.]

[That day, you were smiling. You prepared to head to the promised place, interpreting with such eagerness you had never felt so excited and anticipatory before.]

Mikhail’s vision brightens.

Under the rising sunset, among many lovers and people standing in front of the fountain, Mikhail’s eyes lit up.

‘This is…’

-The viewing begins.

With a cold voice, a girl standing in front of the fountain came into Mikhail’s view.

A white dress.

White shoes.

The silver-haired girl, fidgeting with her fingers and wearing light red lipstick, seemed to be waiting for someone, gazing endlessly at the clock tower pointing to five o’clock.

Mikhail looked at the girl with trembling eyes and a hollow expression.

‘Is it me?’

Standing in front of the academy fountain, a side of himself he never showed to others, he stood there, imbued with shyness.

“…Phew.”

She looked like a girl.

The clothes shyly put on.

The makeup tried for the first time.

She appeared to be a girl of that age.

The self within the viewing, fidgeting with her fingers and not keeping her toes still, murmured while looking at the clock tower.

“When will he come?”

She wore an expression as if she might cry at any moment, muttering to herself the same words over and over.

“…Can I do well?”

Hesitating over what words to start with, the self within the viewing surrendered to the melody drawn on the score.

Mikhail envied her as he watched. He envied that guy for seizing an opportunity he had never felt before.

The excitement.

The laughter, all absent.

Biting her lips, Mikhail swung her sword, feeling a sense of jealousy towards her past self, so different from who she was now.

And at the same time, she harbored a sense of unease.

Could that letter possibly be a death notice?

With a heart heavy with the thought that a long-known acquaintance had come to deliver sad news, she erased her smile from the past that never happened and looked on.

“Focus on reality… It’s all in the past now…”

Struggling to concentrate, Mikhail exhaled deeply.

In the reading room, she began to mutter to herself, starting an awkward act. Ignoring the gazes of others, she wondered what to say upon seeing the man from her memories, her performance tense and clumsy.

“How should I start the conversation…”

“Ah… Hello! How have you been…? I’ve been fine. Haha… I even became the top student at the academy…”

“The weather is really nice, isn’t it? If you have time, shall we go to a cafe?”

“You must be surprised. That I’m a girl… Fool, did you just realize that now…”

Her self-muttering in the reading room abruptly stopped. Even as she spoke, her heart raced madly.

How much would he have changed?

He must have become very handsome.

He’ll be so surprised when he finds out I’m a girl.

“…”

Still.

“I want to hug him when we meet.”

Mikhail felt the same.

She longed to see and feel the presence of that man from her memories. She desperately wanted to see the face of the boy she couldn’t remember, to feel him, to hear his voice.

-Tick.

In the reading room, she swallowed dryly as time approached, waiting for the memories to draw near. For this moment, she was the one and only protagonist in the world. No, she was a woman named Misa.

“Sniff…”

Holding back the tears and runny nose, Mikhail slowly bowed her head.

-Click.

The sound of clear heels approached.

Both her past self in the reading room.

And the present Mikhail held their breath, focusing on the sound.

-Click.

The sound of the heels, neither fast nor slow, gently echoed in Mikhail’s heart.

-Click.

“…”

In the silence, Mikhail swallowed hard.

Watching him, Mikhail clenched his fist and bit his lip.

‘Finally, we meet…’

The man’s face was still not visible, hidden in the shadows.

-Click.

As the silhouette slowly revealed itself, Mikhail’s grip tightened. It was indeed the man he remembered.

Tall stature.

Robust build.

Even from a distance, his handsome features drew the eyes of many as he approached.

Only his face was obscured by shadow.

Yet, the visage of the boy who had been his hero during tough times remained unchanged.

‘Yes…’

With a trembling heart, Mikhail bowed his head, waiting for the man to come closer. He wasn’t ready to see his face yet.

He wanted to see him right away.

But without mental preparation, he felt he might crumble, so he momentarily hid his face.

What would he look like?

Had anything happened to him?

As Mikhail pondered whether the man would run away at the sight of his own unattractiveness, both the Mikhail of the past and the present bowed their heads and swallowed hard.

Slowly, the man approached.

The man who had quickened Mikhail’s heartbeat took another step forward, stopping in front of him and offering a cautious greeting.

“Excuse me.”

The man’s voice resonated softly.

The youthful timbre was gone, replaced by a pleasant baritone that gently called out to Mikhail, still with his head bowed.

Was he nervous too? He swallowed a dry breath and then, exhaling deeply, he spoke.

“Are you Mikhail?”

“…”

“Or not…?”

-Snap.

Tears began to fall on Mikhail’s white shoes as he read. He had intended to meet with a pleasant expression, to start the conversation with a smile, but the tears burst forth earlier than expected, and he couldn’t contain his emotions, his shoulders starting to shake.

“Yes…”

Mikhail nodded his head with difficulty.

He nodded vigorously toward the man calling his name through sobs, earnestly proving that he was the person being sought.

Affection.

Love and memories.

A complex storm of emotions began to brew in Mikhail’s heart. Overwhelmed by the surge of feelings, Mikhail couldn’t lift his head.

All he could do was nod, unable to see the memories that came visiting him in the reading room, greeting the man without seeing him.

“Ah…”

The man sighed softly upon seeing Mikhail. Breathing out uncertainty about how to begin, he slowly opened his mouth.

“You look so different from what I imagined.”

“…”

“Still…”

The man spoke softly, opening up about old memories and offering a warm greeting.

“You still cry easily, and you nod your head just like when you used to cry.”

The man smiled faintly, speaking to Mikhail in the reading room.

“You’ve grown up. My little one.”

Mikhail slowly lifted his head at the man’s chuckling voice, and the man began to cautiously say goodbye to the fragments of memories hidden in black.

“I guess I should introduce myself again.”

“…”

“My name is Rika… no…”

“…”

Both the Mikhail in the reading room and the current Mikhail shed tears as they looked at him.

At the sight of his smile, finally visible.

“Uh…?”

‘No.’

He felt the world crumbling down.

“My name is Minhyuk.”

The memories he had longed for and anticipated collapsed all at once, and the great barrier he had held back in his heart crumbled down.

It was an impossible thing.

He must be lying.

As I clenched my fist, I thought he was up to something strange again.

The man I despised and thought I could never mix with was now looking at me with a distant smile.

My teeth chattered.

“You… what are you doing right now?”

‘Don’t play around.’

Both my past self.

And my current self looked at him with pale faces, spewing anger.

But.

“…”

I was at a loss for words at the sight of his awkward smile. Holding a paper bag with a teddy bear in one hand, his sad smile didn’t seem like a lie.

“…”

‘Is this a joke…?’

My lips quivered.

My fingers trembled, and my heart pounded so fiercely that I spat out a strong denial.

“No…”

‘It can’t be.’

“This can’t be happening.”

“This can’t be happening.”

Mikhail uttered the same words as his past self in the reading room. He repeated his fierce denial of the unbearable reality, shedding tears and saying this can’t be true, this makes no sense.

As Mikhail’s denial grew stronger, an awkward smile began to form on the man’s face.

“It’s been a really long time.”

“This isn’t… right.”

“I’ve had so much I wanted to say to you.”

“…”

“I’m not sure how to start this conversation, but this is the first thing that comes to mind.”

“Shut up…”

With trembling hands, Mikhail in the reading room grabbed Ricardo’s hand. With a desperate grip, he held onto his sleeve, shook his head, and continued to spit out his intense denial.

“You’re lying.”

“…Haha.”

“If you’re that person, it can’t be.”

“I’ve been watching by your side all this time.”

“No!!!!”

“You’ve put in a lot of effort.”

Mikhail, witnessing the reading, slumped to the floor. His legs wouldn’t carry him, and faced with the end of something he thought impossible, Mikhail couldn’t gather his senses.

No, it can’t be.

Surely, there must be something left.

He thought he was just a messenger delivering news, and he cried out without an answer, but the only response was his own desperate sobbing in the reading.

The person he hated the most.

Someone who seemed different.

At the same time, his past, which had been cruel to that person, flashed before his eyes, making his breath quiver.

“I’m sorry for being so harsh all this time.”

-The reading is over.

The reunion he had hoped for ended in the worst way.